"Colonel, I'm hurt. Whatever happened to 'it would be nice to see you again, Harry'?"

"Didn't think you had any feelings to hurt, Maybourne. And I was being polite."

Okay, so maybe that was a little harsh. But it kinda threw him for a loop having one of his not so

favourite people appear like a hideous magic fairy in the middle of a really great evening. Fair

enough, the man had been almost civil the last time they'd seen him after that whole 'foothold'

incident. Jack shuddered at the memory. Hanging from the ceiling like that had been…incredibly

uncomfortable. And that was all he was prepared to say on the matter. Ever. But Jack wasn't

dumb enough to think that instantly made Maybourne an ally. Sure, for that brief moment in time

their goals had coincided, but you could bet ya ass that the next time he had the chance to put

one over on them, he'd take it. It was just the way the game worked. And finding the CO of the

SGC's premier team taking his subordinate out to dinner? Oy. Maybourne could have a field day

with *this* one if he didn't head him off.

Maybourne's eyes narrowed. "Well, *Jack*. That's a shame. It could have saved you from a lot of

trouble if you'd meant it."

Jack gave him a deliberately blank look. "Come again?"

Maybourne smirked and ignored the question. "Enjoying your evening, Jack?"

Jack looked at him sourly, wishing the guy would stop using his name. "Until you turned up."

Maybourne smirked again. "Yes, I imagine so."

Jack sighed. He could only put up with cryptic comments for so long. "Wadda ya *want*,

Maybourne?"

He didn't expect the man to take the veiled hint and leave, but ya never knew.

Maybourne attempted an innocent look. He wasn't half as good at pulling it off as Carter.

"I don't want anything, Jack. I just happened to be in town this week and decided to go out and

enjoy the evening. I thought I'd drop by when I saw you doing the same." He paused and his eyes

slid right to glance at the blonde Major sat opposite Jack. "Well, maybe not *quite* the same…."

Sam closed her eyes. She'd been doing really well at managing to remain inconspicuous up until

now, but it was blatantly obvious what Maybourne was thinking. Dammit! She *knew* this had

been a bad idea. But oh no, she just couldn't turn down the chance to let Jack take her to dinner,

could she? Idiot. And since *when* did she call him Jack anyway?

Jack gritted his teeth. He'd nearly had enough of the little oik already. And he'd only been here a

coupla minutes. "What's your *point*, Maybourne?"

Maybourne shrugged casually. "No point, Jack. No point. Just wondering what General

Hammond would think…."

Oh yeah. He was playin' the game alright. Well surprise Maybourne - so can Jack O'Neill….

Jack sat back in his chair and took a sip of his drink. "Seemed okay with it when we talked

earlier."

Both men glanced to the other side of the table as Sam choked on her drink again.

"You okay, Major?"

"Fine sir." She replied weakly.

Ugh. The bubbles had gone up her nose again. She *hated* when that happened…it was all his

fault. He'd always had an uncanny ability to surprise her, but dammit, that was the *third* time this

evening! There ought to be a rule on how many times you could surprise your 2IC in 24 hours….

"You talked to General Hammond, sir?"

Jack shrugged, ignoring Maybourne. "Sure. You were worried about how it might look, so I told

him. Wanted to make sure everything was above board an' all."

"Oh…And he was okay with it?"

"Seemed to be." Eventually.

Jack grinned slightly remembering their conversation.

~~~o0o~~~

"You're doing what?!"

"Um…taking Carter to dinner, sir?"

"Care to *explain* this concept, Colonel?"

"Uh, yes sir. I thought it would be an informal way of saying thanks. Which - it's been

pointed out - is something I've neglected to do. I need to uh, 'mend some bridges' with my

2IC, sir. Built up our working relationship again. That sortta thing. Figured we could also

use it to bring me up to date on everything I've missed. Help me get back into things, ya

know?"

"But *dinner*, Colonel?"

"Well ol' Doc Frasier did say she needed feeding up, sir…."

~~~o0o~~~

Maybourne's smarmy voice brought him back to the present.

"Well, well." He murmured. "I wonder what his superiors would think of that…."

Jack narrowed his eyes,

"Is that a *threat*, Maybourne?"

"Think of it as more of a warning, Colonel."

Jack struggled to control his temper. He was about to lose it with this guy. Big time.

"Ya know Maybourne, I don't respond well to warnings. Or threats."

Maybourne smirked wider.



"That's unfortunate."

Jack restrained the desire to deck the guy. However satisfying it might be, it wouldn't really be

good manners to sent him flying into their neighbour's dinner. Time to try another way. Okay

Jack, you could do 'intimidating' once upon a time. Let's see if you still can….

"No…." He said slowly. "*Unfortunate* would be what happens if you ever try and make good on

that threat."

"You can't touch me, Colonel. I have friends in high places."

"Yeah? Well I have friends in places a *lot* closer to home. Wanna bet who would reach you

first?"

"You can't kill me Colonel. If anything happens to me, they'll know."

Jack shook his head. "Maybourne, Maybourne…I don't want you *dead*. You're not that

annoying…just yet."

He raised his head and locked gazes with the shorter Colonel stood by their table. The cold look

in his eyes made Sam shiver. It was a look she'd only ever seen him use twice before and what

had followed it's use wasn't something she wanted to remember. It certainly wasn't a look she

*ever* wanted to see turned on her. In many ways, it scared her more than any of his occasional

loud outbursts of anger. It was easy to forget when talking to him and working with him everyday,

that he was – and had been for many years - a trained killer. But every so often she was

reminded.

"If I wanted you dead Maybourne, you'd already *be* dead. And your *friends* would be none the

wiser. Know what I mean?"

Maybourne paled slightly.

Jack caught his reaction and a thin smile crossed his face. "Good. Glad we understand each

other."

Maybourne's eyes slid away. When he looked back they had an evil glint in them.

"Of course, anything you may – or may not – do to me, would be after the fact, so you would gain

nothing by it. Hammond would still have to retire no doubt. And as for you, Major - " He looked

across the table at Sam. " – well, it wouldn't look good for your career, now would it?"

She glared across the table at him. What was the penalty for striking a superior officer again?

Because she wasn't sure it was enough to prevent it this time. Damn him! This wasn't fair – if she

was gonna be brought up for breaking the regs, she should at least have the chance to actually

*break* the regs first….

She risked a look across the table at Jack. His fists were clenched and the look in his eyes had

turned murderous. She *really* hoped he wouldn't do anything…rash. This wasn't the time or the

place.

She nudged his ankle gently under the table. His gaze flicked to hers and he gave a slight smile

as if to tell her it was okay. Then he stood up. Slowly he pulled himself to his full height, which left

him towering over the shorter Colonel. He unclenched his fists and she let out the breath she'd

been unconsciously holding.

He leaned forward bringing his hands down, so he could balance himself against the table with

his fingers. Being the height he was, this put him directly in Maybourne's eyeline.

"Maybourne." He said calmly, if a little loudly. "You'd better listen good 'cos this *is* a warning and

I'm only gonna say it once. If you – or any of these so-called friends of yours – lay one finger on

*any* member of my team - and I *don't* just mean SG-1 - I swear to God, it will be the last thing

you *ever* do. Got that?"

Sam looked around. The entire restaurant had gone quiet. Everyone was concentrating incredibly

hard on their meals, deliberately not looking in their direction. Well *this* had turned out well….

Maybourne remained silent, the two men glaring at each other across the table.

"I *said* have you got that?"

The air between the two men crackled with tension. Then Maybourne swallowed and looked

away.

"Yes Colonel." He murmured. "I believe I have."

"Good."

Sam jumped as someone cleared their throat beside her, breaking the tension. Both men turned

to look. An extremely nervous looking member of staff stood on the other side of the table, well

back from the two men.

"Ah, excuse me sirs," his voice wavered and he paused as if gathering his strength, then

continued in a firmer voice: "Your…conversation is disturbing our other guests. I'm afraid I've

going to have to ask you to either discontinue this or take it elsewhere."

Jack shrugged and sat back down. "S'okay. He was just leaving." He said, staring pointedly at

Maybourne.

Maybourne glared at him "This isn't over, Colonel."

Jack rolled his eyes. Oh puhleease…could you say clichéd?

"You heard the guy *Harry*," He said, gesturing at the waiter. "Yes, it is." Now piss off….

Maybourne continued to glare at him. Jack raised an eyebrow. Teal'c had a lot to answer for.

"Sir…" The waiter began.

"*Fine*". Maybourne snapped. He pulled together what was left of his dignity and gave them a

sharp nod. "Colonel. Major."

He turned on his heel and strode away.

Jack couldn't resist. "Bye Harry. Do call again."

Maybourne stopped, his shoulders stiffening. But he didn't turn round and after a minute he

carried on walking. Once he was out the door it seemed like the restaurant as a whole breathed a

huge sigh of relief and gradually conversation started up again.

Jack looked at the waiter who was still stood by their table. "Sorry about that."

The man nodded, accepting the apology. "I'm sure it was – unavoidable. Can I uh, get you

anything else?"

"Actually yeah…2 coffees?" Jack said, glancing over at Sam for her confirmation. She nodded.

She felt in need of some caffeine right now.

"Coming right up."

Jack looked over at Sam as the waiter hurried away. She wasn't sure what to say.

A wry smile tugged at his lips. "And it was going so well…." He said jokingly.

She laughed in relief. "Yes, it was."

"I have to say tho' - Maybourne was the *last* person I expected to walk in on us."

"You were expecting someone to see us?"

"Are you kidding? With our luck?"

"Good point."

He snorted. "Yeah. Why else do ya think I talked to Hammond first? Could you imagine if Ferretti

had walked in on us? Or even worse one of Makepeace's Marines from SG-3? It'd have been all

over the base grapevine by morning. You know what the bloody place is like…."

Sam grimaced. Boy, did she ever. The amount of stick she'd got over the past few months

because of it was unreal. Even Janet had got in on the act, asking her if there was a problem.

Honestly! Just because she wouldn't leave him behind. The way people talked, you'd think it was

a declaration of undying love or something….

The waiter brought their coffees.

"So Major," Jack said, stirring his coffee. "I believe you owe me some money."

Sam frowned. Huh? Since when?

"I'm sorry?"

He studied her carefully. "Little bet we made this afternoon? Ten bucks to the person who

finished their paperwork first? Ringing any bells?"

Oh that. She cleared her throat. "Yes sir. But I think you'll find *you* owe *me* the money."

There was no *way* he could have finished that lot before leaving to pick her up tonight. He'd be

lucky if he'd finished it by the end of the *week*. Maybe if he'd worked through the night instead

of taking her out to dinner…but there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that she was gonna

believe he'd done it already.

He smirked at her. "No…I don't think so Major."

She looked back at him. No way. No way in *hell* had he finished already.

"Oh come on! There is no *way* you're gonna make me believe you've cleared your desk

already. I saw the amount of paper on it, remember?"

"Major I swear, if we took a detour via the base on the way back, you'd see that my desk is

*completely* clear."

He looked at her innocently. You'd think a man of his age and life experience wouldn't be able to

pull off the 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' expression. But he could. Unfortunately for him,

Carter knew him better than that. She looked back at him suspiciously.

"What did you *do*, sir?"

His tongue flicked out over his bottom lip. Sam suppressed a grin. She really must remember to

thank the General for mentioning that 'tell' of his to her, the next time she saw him. He probably

wasn't even aware he did it, but every time he wasn't being entirely truthful – it happened.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Carter."

"Oh yes you do, sir. What did you do with your paperwork?"

He looked startled. How the hell did she know? He couldn't work it out, but somehow she

*always* knew.

"*Sir*" She repeated. It wasn't a threat, but it was close.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, reminding her of schoolkid who'd not bothered to do his

homework, coming face to face with his teacher. For a moment she didn't think he was going to

answer. Then he put down his coffee cup and held out his hand. Thumb pointing upwards, first

and index finger held straight out, with the others curled under in the well known symbol for a

gun.

"Zat, zat, zat." He said, his hand giving a little flick to imitate firing with each word.

Her jaw dropped open. "You *didn't*."

He grinned and picked up his coffee cup. "Yup." He said.

"But…" She spluttered. "That's…that's…*cheating*."

*Damn*. Why didn't *she* think of that? Because you wouldn't have dared, her little voice told her.

"Hey," He said. "We never specified *how* we did the paperwork. Just so long as it got done."

"But you *didn't* do it!" She said exasperated. "You just…" She waved her hand in the air for

emphasis. "…made it disappear."

"We didn't say what was defined as 'doing' paperwork either." He countered.

"That's not fair." She protested. "I spent all afternoon on mine…" Her voice trailed off as she

suddenly realised something. A huge grin appeared on her face.

"Carter?" Jack asked with frown. He had a horrible feeling he was about to lose his ten dollars

after all…

"You still owe me the money, sir."

"Why?" He wasn't giving up without a fight.



The grin grew wider if that was at all possible.

"Because you couldn't finish your paperwork until I passed you my reports, sir. And I made sure I

did them last…."

Jack looked at her, feeling an absurd sense of pride in her actions. *Damn* she was good.

"Sneaky Carter, real sneaky."

She had a smug look on her face. "Thank you sir, I try. Now cough up."

Sighing heavily he pulled his wallet out of his back jeans pocket and handed over a ten dollar bill.

"Don't spend it all at once, Major."

She plucked the bill out of his fingers. "I'll try not to, sir."

Jack absently ran his gaze round the restaurant. The man at the next table along was staring at

them openly. Jack stared back and the man hurriedly looked away without making eye contact.

Jack continued to look around and caught a few people just as they quickly looked away. He

shifted uneasily in his seat and picked up the dessert menu.

"Is it me," He murmured quietly, making Carter lean forward slightly in order to hear him. "Or are

you starting to feel like you're in a goldfish bowl as well?"

Sam looked up from putting her purse with her newly acquired ten dollars back in her inner jacket

pocket, where it hung on the chair. She scanned the restaurant. He was right. Pretty much

everyone was watching them out the corner of their eyes, but trying to pretend they weren't. She

felt a sudden itching between the shoulder blades. She never had liked being the centre of

attention.

She met Jack's eyes. She could tell he wasn't comfortable with it either. He raised an eyebrow,

asking for her answer.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, sir," She said.

He slung the dessert menu back on the table and looked at her coffee cup. It was empty.

"Well I don't know about you, but the sweet stuff on there – " He gestured at the offending item " -

doesn't impress. Wadda ya say we blow this joint and go somewhere else for dessert?"

Sam's heart gave a sudden lurch. For god's sake! That's *not* what he meant! However nice a

thought it may be….

"Sounds good to me. Sir."

"That's sorted then." Jack raised his hand and asked for the bill.

They paid and headed out. Jack's hand once more settled on her lower back to guide her out the

door. Sam shivered at the gentle pressure. What she wouldn't give to feel that *without* her

jacket – or anything else - in the way.

"So Carter – " The voice of the hand's owner pulled her out of her musings. "Any thoughts on the

best place for dessert?"

Plenty of them, sir. Just none that wouldn't involve the breaking the of certain regulations….

Forcibly dragging her mind out of the gutter for the umpteenth time that evening, she wracked her

brains. Hmm…he'd been away for three months, so what would he really appreciate? Well, apart

from *that* obviously. Oy, one momentary lapse of concentration and her mind jumped straight

back in the gutter. Maybe she should give up and leave it there. An idea hit her and she smiled

slowly. She knew *just* the place.

"Actually sir, I think I have."

"Yeah? You sure the shower's the right place for dessert, Carter?"

She stumbled slightly at his words and whipped round to face him. He was grinning cheekily at

her.

She raised an eyebrow of her own. "Depends on the dessert, sir." She said. Without bothering to

see his reaction she turned round and started walking towards his truck. The part of her mind that

had been thinking about nothing else than jumping her CO all evening, noted that she was now

walking in front of him and put a little extra sway in her walk.

"Sweet." She heard him murmur and she just knew he was watching her. There came the sound

of quick footsteps as he hurried to catch up to her.

"What kinda dessert, Carter? Chocolate cake?"

"No sir,"

"Ice-cream?"

"No sir?"

"Apple pie?"

A small smile twitched at her lips.

"You'll just have to wait and see, sir."

He sighed heavily.

"Spoilsport."

"Yes sir."

He was silent for a minute as they approached his truck. He held up the key fob and pressed the

remote central locking button. The truck's lights flashed as the locks disengaged. The silence

didn't last though.

"So…" He started. "Where we goin'?"

She should've known he wouldn't let it drop.

"It's a *surprise*, sir." She said through gritted teeth. Was he gonna be like this all the way there?

"But Carter, how are we supposed to get – wherever – if I don't know where we're goin'?"

"Just drive, sir. I'll navigate."

"Oh okay." He paused. "Hey, let's try not to get asked to leave this place as well huh?"

She grinned. ""Well I don't see Colonel Maybourne hanging around anywhere sir, so we should

be okay."

He pulled a face. "Oh good." He said with feeling.

A wicked thought occurred to her. She cast him a sidelong glance.

"Yeah," She began. "If I'm gonna do something that results in me being asked to leave a place - I

*much* preferred the wild monkey sex idea…."

With that parting shot she walked up to the truck and climbed in, leaving her stunned CO to pick

himself up off the floor where he'd landed, after tripping over his own feet.

~~~End of Part 3~~~

Concluded in Part 4: "After Dinner Activities" - once I've written it!