"So Matt, what do you do?" Sydney asked as she hobbled with him to his car.
"I'm a counselor," Matt said, somewhat sheepishly.
Sydney had to smile. She would have guessed it even if she weren't a highly trained spy. Matt just screamed 'empathy'. Not in an overbearing patronizing way, but he still did. She had been harsh with him, probably overly so but after failing to forewarn her friend about Charlie, Sydney didn't want to make any mistakes.
Matt had met her high standards with apparent ease. He had been honest about his feelings and adamant about his belief any decision making should be left up to Francie. On a lighter note Matt appeared to have a fun loving personality that Sydney had warmed to uncharacteristically quickly.
"Okay, Matt the counselor, you have officially passed my interrogation," she said with a soft smile of appreciation.
Matt chuckled softy. "I'm so relieved, all Francie's warnings had filled my mind with all sorts of torturous devices."
Sydney smiled half seriously as they continued the short walk down the block to where the car was parked.
Matt sobered quickly. "You'll keep me updated on how Francie is?" he asked anxiously.
Sydney nodded her affirmation. "I think she will be fine after a junk food hit and some serious Charlie bashing." She said the last part with particular vehemence.
Matt smiled but his tone was serious "Just make sure she doesn't focus entirely on anger."
Sydney was quick to her assurances. She was acutely aware that the clock was ticking. She needed to get to the warehouse soon. Vaughn had used the urgent code, which couldn't mean any good. As she said goodbye to Matt she was suddenly struck by an idea.
"I'm going to be in and out of the country a lot this month." She was already struggling to explain that fact to her increasingly intolerant friends. Will's jokingly flippant claim that he would quit for her was becoming more forceful. Suppressing a sigh she attempted to phrase her question.
"You want me to keep an eye on her?" Matt suggested tactfully. Her semi hopeless expression reminded him of Michael's when his mother had chewed him out for not making it the annual family pilgrimage to William Vaughn's grave.
Unwillingly Matt's mind flashed back to that painful confrontation.
**
"Mom, I'm really sorry"
Every aspect of Michel Vaughn body language spoke of sincerity, it was almost painfully obvious to his cousin as he glanced between his two strong willed relatives.
"Michael you haven't missed a singled gathering, what's changed?" Margaret Vaughn's voice was soft but both young men were acutely aware of the pain belied beneath.
Michael hesitated, his reluctance hang heavy in the air. Matt watched professionally fascinated by the play of emotions chasing themselves across his old friend's face. His green eyes were charged with regret, Matt wasn't sure what scared him more the haunting despair in Michael's posture or his aunt's scathing indifference to it.
"Something came up at work." Michael said softly, undoubtedly cursing his inability to lie to his mother.
Margaret Vaughn let out a harsh bitter laugh that was so uncharacteristic that her son and nephew jump startled.
"Do you have any idea how much you sounded like your father just then?" The words were soft and calm but this time she made no attempt to disguise the pain.
Michael stumbled back as if struck. Matt almost reached a hand to physically prevent him from falling; he looked that pale.
**
Matt forced himself back to the present.
"Could you? I'm going to be yo-yoing back and forth between Tokyo and Europe." Sydney hated herself automatically filling out her lies. It was one of the most poignant things that scared her. In the beginning her two worlds had been so clear.
What were they now?
"I would be happy to," Matt said, still caught up in the unexpected flashback.
With a grateful smile Sydney said goodnight. Feeling a curious mixture of relief and remorse the double agent hobbled back to the house. At least if she couldn't be a good friend, Francie would still have them. Fighting back the increasingly familiar sting of salty tears she let herself in.
"Francie?' she called hesitantly.
Moving through to Francie bedroom Sydney paused in the doorway. Her friend was curled up on the bed, sound asleep, which was probably the best idea given the nights events. Sydney crept as softly as she was able into the room, she realized, with painful clarity she hardly knew. A shiny trophy on the bedside table caught her attention.
Francine Calfo
For excellence in Future Management 2002
The date on the trophy suggested that it was recent, Francie had probably tried to tell her about it, when the double agent was caught up in the fall out of her mother's history being revealed. Blinking away threatening tears, Sydney replaced the trophy on table and turned to go.
"Did you like him?" Francie voice was sleepy and slightly muffled.
"Yeah, I really did sweetie, go to sleep." Sydney whispered, grinning through her tears.
***
Sitting on the boxes, Vaughn was torn between eagerness and dread, just because he had resolved to breach the rift between that didn't mean Sydney would want to, or even be receptive to it. With a self-deprecating sigh the CIA agent stood and began to pace nervously.
"Vaughn" the strained whisper startled him badly and he whipped around reflectively.
In his head he had been through a carefully prepared, characteristically articulate speech. As he always seemed to do when she was around, he forgot it all, memorized by her beauty. It took a moment for his brain to register that she was wincing in pain and her features were gaunt and pale.
"Are you ok?' he asked instantly concerned, he reached out and guided Sydney, who was hobbling stiffly towards to crate opposite him.
Sydney offered him a tight smile "Stupid accident. It's funny we're trained in drug resistance and yet I still can't deal with basic painkillers." She settled down, trying to figure out how best to approach the situation when all she wanted to do was curl up and pretend none of it had ever happen.
"I'm sorry" Vaughn said.
Plausible tension hung it the air as both of them contemplated the full implications of his words.
"Is there any part of this that isn't going to suck?" Sydney asked, her voice trembling with emotion.
"No," Vaughn said honestly, wishing that he could take the pain away but knowing in a twist horrendous way he was the course of it.
"Will we be ok?" Sydney continued, finally giving voice to the question that haunted her for so long.
"Yes." Vaughn's voice creaked and he forced back tears "We will."
In the silence that followed they both prayed to whatever was left to believe in that his words would be truth.
Both feared they were not.
