Potter's First Adventure

Chapter 1

It was a cold grey morning when Harry Potter suddenly awoke after a long night fuelled with drink and drugs. He smiled sleepily as his companion slid their arm around his waist. Spot check! COMPANION??!!! Harry looked down onto the white blonde head of. Draco Malfoy!!!
He screamed, causing Malfoy to wake up. "alrigh' darlin'?" The Slytherin yawned, blinking as Harry mumbled incoherently at the newly acquired Scottish accent. "What?" "Why. w-why are you in my bed?" He demanded. Draco laughed. "You really where wasted last night eh?" "But you. We CAN'T have done anything!! You don't go that way!" "Eh?" "You only last week boasted about sleeping with every girl in the school!" "Huh? Oh no, you must have misheard me. I said I slept with every ONE in the school! Look around" Harry did so, taking in the sight of at least half the school tangled up in his dormitory. He froze as something moved at the foot of his bed. He screamed again. There were two bodies - One with wild tangled hair and a beard, and one with sallow skin and a hooked nose. "Potter." Snape hissed "I am going to make an exception with the 'No Giving Points' rule" Here he attempted to smile sexily. "After watching you and mister Malfoy, I award you twenty points, and" here he blushed slightly and began to rush his words, "When are you next free?" Harry gulped and turned around as a pouting Malfoy poked him in the back and whispered "Tell him never" Harry's eyes fell from one to the other as he stuttered over his difficult choice: Malfoy or Snape?!