Thanks to my reviewers (more detailed thanks down the bottom!). This is quite a bit of a intermediary chapter. Already I've written more than I expected to write, and this chapter, which I thought would probably be the end chapter, is more like halfway through.
Also thanks to J.K. Rowling, who owns the setting and most of the characters, to Douglas Adams (there's a very slight Hitchhiker's guide reference), to J.R.R. Tolkien for the magnificent Lord of the Rings, and to my Mum for not killing me when she walked in to find me writing this at 9:30 this morning, before I'd even got dressed, had breakfast, or even said good morning to anyone. I think I'm compulsive :-)
Hogwarts Friends, Hogwarts Enemies
Chapter 6 – Late night revelations
In Ravenclaw, still delirious from their Quidditch victory, Severus was admired. Ravens he hardly knew kept coming up to him and congratulating him on the victory, Geoff Cooper kept making comments like "Severus Snape, Quidditch champion, told me…" and Olivia Kimmel had developed a habit of, during lessons, glancing over at her housemate in a distracting manner that made him feel shivery inside. It felt impossible to concentrate with her maddening, mercury eyes watching him.
Yet whilst he'd never felt more at home in Ravenclaw in his life, his other friends were being unusually cold. With Sirius, it was obvious that he was under suspicion. Severus felt bitterly angry at him. He'd been so jealous of the Quidditch win that he was bringing back ancient news. Malfoy had left, and the Slytherin accomplices with him. Wasn't it a bit late to be wondering who did it? But James, Remus, Peter… being Sirius's best friends and his housemates, they felt obliged to stick up for the delusional twit, didn't they? Severus bitterly suspected that they'd soon convince themselves that Sirius was right, because Sirius was a Gryffindor and he was a Ravenclaw, because Severus had helped beat their unbeatable team, and because Sirius was louder, more persuasive, and more daring than he knew how to be.
Even Mandy, loyal Hufflepuff who'd promised to cheer for him, even loud, soft-hearted, light-headed Mandy was being rather withdrawn from him. Of course, he'd heard rumours about Mandy and Remus, and it wouldn't surprise him if Mandy had decided that Remus was a much better recipient for the alleged crush she had allegedly had on him. But he would have thought that Remus wouldn't be so vindictive as to spread the stupid things Sirius was saying about him to make Mandy believe them.
Frustrated, he went into History of Magic, which they shared with Hufflepuff. Professor Binns had died several months before, yet with daunting persistence, he'd carried on teaching. As a ghost. When Peter… (that was painful remembering…) When Peter had said, "He doesn't know he's died", James had said, "I don't think he ever knew he was alive" and that just about summed up History lessons. What was worse, was that exam season had started.
Severus sat down dejectedly, as Mandy handed out sheets of parchment. They glanced at each other as she placed two sheets down onto the desk in front of him, laying them askew of each other. Her look didn't say anything, when usually she looked like she was bursting to say a thousand things.
"Thank you, Miss Fahrenheit," Binns said distractedly.
"Farrell," Mandy corrected, making several of the others look up in surprise. She hadn't sounded impudent, just plain fed up of hearing the incorrect name. But Professor Binns, especially as a ghost, wasn't the sort of person you talked back to, and Mandy looked at though she hadn't even noticed.
Severus's mind refused to concentrate on the exam questions. Whilst Binns was adept making at even the most exciting history boring (he made Dumbledore's defeat of Grindelwald look like a Muggle chess game – or maybe Snakes and Ladders), Severus usually excelled. However he had been occupied by the nasty situation of the past few days, and today he could barely remember who Merlin was, let alone anyone else. He felt so tired, so bored, and so weighed down by – things. He felt he didn't have the energy to care about the test today.
His ennui was interrupted by a sound – a light swish that seemed to come from the misaligned piece of parchment he had not yet written on.
You don't look like you've had much sleep lately.
He looked up, glanced around. His first thought was Olivia – he looked at her hopefully. She was writing a top speed, her curly writing covering two and a half sheets of parchment. He looked further – Mandy looked up, and glanced back at him, her quill having written a sentence on an otherwise clean sheet of parchment. Her.
He tried writing on the sheet of parchment.
You don't look like you've had much either.
I haven't.
How are you doing this?
It's a complicated spell Remus taught me. He's really good at parchment charms, you'd be amazed. Remember when Binns separated Julie, Maria and me because we talked too much? We couldn't take the most boring lessons without conversation.
It must be useful during tests.
Unfortunately, anti-cheating charms mean we can't talk about work, which is annoying because I'm flunking this essay. How are you doing?
I can't concentrate.
I've never seen someone so fascinated by the dirt in their nails. For a moment, Severus wondered if Mandy had been picking up on his own occasional sarcasm.
I'm not very happy.
Why did he have to write that? The trouble was, plain, unemotive words on a page were so innocent. They'd tricked him into confessing his feelings, to Mandy, who'd probably react by running around the Great Hall yelling, "Let's all cheer Sevvie up!"
Sirius is being a total prat.
He breathed out. You think so?
I don't think so, he is. When you've taken about a hundred injuries for Quidditch, and he gets a few bruises and then starts spouting things that aren't true, he's just being so childish.
James wants to believe him.
They're best friends. James doesn't want to think that his best friend's a total psycho. It's a pity that he is a total psycho.
A ghost of a smile made its way onto Severus's lips. Mandy wasn't completely airheaded after all. Maybe when she wasn't talking, her brain started working.
He wrote, But you've never said anything.
I'm not very happy either. Sirius is depressing me even more.
What are you unhappy about?
For a moment, she didn't write anything. Severus glanced over, and her head was turned away, but her hand held her quill in midair. He wrote down some generalistic answers on the effects of the ban on dragon breeding.
I can't talk about it – not here.
There's never any time to talk.
No, there isn't. Stupid houses. I can't say I'm talking to you about homework or something, people'll ask me why I'm not asking a Hufflepuff.
Do you want to talk? Was he allowing her to confide, or desperately asking her to be his confidante?
I need to tell someone. No one listens. Then a line scratched through that sentence. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to whine. I know you've got problems of your own.
It's all right. I don't mind listening.
I'll listen to your problems too. The writing came fast, urgently trying to make some amends for any perceived offence. But there's never any time…
If you can't sleep – He stopped. He couldn't ask her to break a rule.
What? Sneak out after curfew?
I can meet you. In Hufflepuff tower. He dreaded to think, she might get herself caught. He was adept at slinking through the corridors in Hogwarts, he found, even Peeves often couldn't find him. Doing it by night would be harder and easier. Harder to do it in silence, easier to do it in the dark.
In the Hufflepuff common room. It's not safe outside, but I'll be the only one up inside. The password's Kiwi Fruit.
A few seconds later, the password vanished.
Did you get that? I didn't want to leave it there too long.
Yes, I'll remember. Being told the password seemed – symbolic. She trusted him.
What time?
Is 1 o'clock too late?
It's just right.
*
The promise of being able to fight through this terrible loneliness, to stop hiding behind the Quidditch champion's mask, was fortifying. Severus managed to work up sufficient energy to finish the exam in front of him, even if it was a little substandard. He sighed as he saw Olivia ask for more paper. At the rate he was going, she wouldn't look twice at him.
After dinner, he went back to the Ravenclaw tower, and spent his time until half past midnight in the common room, pretending to revise for potions.
"Come on, Sev," Geoff Cooper had said. "You know you're going to pass that exam. Don't you want to play a game of something?"
"Exploding Snap never gets old," Richard McNally added, getting his card set out.
"Sorry," Severus said. "I'm not really in the mood."
"I'm sure Olivia won't mind if you don't score higher than her," Richard teased, and at that moment, awfully timed, Olivia herself walked in. Richard and Geoff unhelpfully cracked up.
She looked at the two boys with a bewilderment, and gave a sympathetic smile to Severus, and then carried on walking silently, majestically. He smiled back, shyly.
Eventually, Geoff and Richard got bored, and sloped away somewhere. As planned, Severus was alone in the common room. He could no longer concentrate on his potions book, and so decided to get something more interesting to read. Selina had bought him a copy of Lord of the Rings, a Muggle book, but an excellent read, he was finding. Wizard fiction was sparse, and much of it, he found, left a little to be desired. Some of his housemates couldn't imagine what he saw in Muggle fiction. They would have been fascinated by Lord of the Rings. He was intrigued by the whole creation, it seemed too sharp for the average Muggle (That was scarcely fair, seeing as he was half-blood himself, but perhaps remembering primary school coloured his perceptions).
Orion rubbed around his legs, and he bent down to stroke the tom cat. He sighed. He had attempted to raise the sleek black feline into a vicious, spitting monster, loyal to only his master, but he realised that either Orion was too soft, or he was too soft. The cat was the most placid and carefree of its kind that Severus knew. If Malfoy had cast a fungal hex on Orion, he probably would have scratched his ears and stared up at Malfoy with big amber eyes that said, "So what?"
Soon he realised it was time to go, and slipped on a black cloak, which was almost as good in the shadows, he decided, as the Invisibility Cloak he was sure James owned. He stroked his cat, affectionately, one more time. They shared an empathy with each other – he noticed that Lily and her snowy owl, Demeter, seemed to react to each other the same way, as if they always knew what the other was thinking. Peter's cat had always seemed to detest him, and after the fungal incident, it had barely emerged from under Peter's bed. Mandy's toad Gregory might have been fond of her, but it was impossible to tell with toads.
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter might have been the experts at sneaking around Hogwarts, but Severus had long ago discovered he had an instinct for navigating the many staircases. Orion followed him, and as he walked across a long corridor, the cat had padded away from him, and caught Filch's cat wandering nearby. The cat was only a kitten, but she was already full of spite, hissing at Orion, who gave the impression that he couldn't care less. Whilst the kitten squared up to the tom cat, Severus slunk past, unnoticed.
He thought as he walked, in these dark corridors, of Malfoy. He didn't know why Malfoy was such a bully, and he wondered whether he had spied all the time, waiting for a chance to cause trouble. Severus grimly thought that maybe Malfoy had threatened someone in exchange for the password – it could have even been a Gryffindor. He could imagine it, the tall, white blond boy with wand to someone's throat, saying, "Tell me the password, or…"
With the realisation that Malfoy probably worked for Voldemort, Severus knew that he might have even threatened the Cruciatus curse.
Even if someone had told Malfoy under those circumstances, it was forgiveable, he felt. Would Sirius think that, if it had been him? If Malfoy had said Crucio until he'd confessed it? Would that have been such an awful crime that Sirius would see fit to alienate him?
Would Malfoy really do that? Woud he do it to a girl? But probably not – the girls he knew, especially Lily and Mandy, would lie about the password, and then tell a teacher. James would probably bravely suffer the Cruciatus curse, until – he shuddered. The imagining felt so real in the dim light of the corridors, even though this was just speculation. The Gryffindors were all of that sort, foolishly brave. Maybe Geoff would have told.
He felt uneasy. What if he had? What if they had been friends all these years and Geoff had never told him about it?
Up several staircases, he was in Hufflepuff tower. The portrait was a young girl holding flowers, and she was still awake, tossing individual blooms in the air and looking bored.
"Kiwi Fruit," he said.
She didn't look around. "All right," she said, and the portrait hole swung open.
Mandy was sitting alone, as she had said, wrapped in a black shawl. She looked up.
"You made it," she said with relief. "Did you get over here all right?"
"Yes, although Orion had to distract Filch's cat."
Mandy beamed. "He's such a lovely cat."
They paused, both slightly embarrassed. They both knew why they were there, and yet starting the conversation seemed difficult.
Severus looked around the room. Hufflepuff's common room was brightly decorated with colourful draperies, and a large portrait of Helga Hufflepuff smiled down at them from the wall above. She winked at him, and he looked away, disturbed.
He had now seen three of the four common rooms at Hogwarts – It's not exactly likely that I'll ever see Slytherin's, he thought to himself.
"Do you want to sit down?" Mandy asked softly.
They sat by the fire, Mandy rubbing her hands, Severus hunching forward to receive the warmth he had rather longed for in the draughty corridors.
"Anyway," Mandy said. "Sirius is being a prat."
Severus laughed a little at this abrupt conversation starter. "Yes," he said. "I think James…" This was difficult as James obviously didn't feel the same way. "I think James is the best friend I've ever had. Remus and I get on really well too – but Sirius… he ruins everything."
"What about your friends in Ravenclaw?"
"Geoff and Richard are good friends. Great friends, really. But in Ravenclaw – all of them see me as a person with no problems at all, if I seem unhappy, they take it as an insult. What have you got to worry about? You're the perfect Severus Snape!"
Mandy half-smiled.
"I can be myself with James – and Remus, and Peter, and Lily, as well. And you too." He shifted uncomfortably. "I haven't been sleeping…" He remembered their 'conversation'. Mandy really did look tired. "But neither have you? Would you like to tell me your problems now?"
She scratched her head, and looked away for the moment. "I'm glad you can be yourself with me."
There was a brief silence.
"I – Greentrees was my primary school, Severus." As soon as she had said it, the tears came. Severus felt horrified, that she'd let him talk about petty conflicts between him and Sirius, when she was sleepless over this.
"I'm sorry…"
"I didn't know any of the children killed – but the teachers. Dumbledore's niece taught me the alphabet, and Voldemort murdered her, as if she'd taught me how to torture people…" Mandy was crying properly now, clinging to Severus in spite of herself, like when the lights had gone out during Remus's party. "I couldn't tell anyone at the time, it was just too surreal. In the end, I told Professor Sprout, and she listened to me, but she was so busy and went so quickly, and I felt so alone amongst my friends."
Severus held her more gently than he had those years ago. He felt like a heart was breaking in his hands whilst he could do nothing to fix it. She pulled back out of his grip.
"I shouldn't be doing this – I shouldn't be trying to get your sympathy like this."
He stared at her in confusion. "It's all right Mandy – I owe you this much…"
"You don't owe me anything, Severus."
Her tone was strange, hostile, final. Her face, if it was possible, became even more pained.
"What I really wanted to tell you was – not this. I deserve to suffer alone. I've made you suffer alone."
"What do you mean?"
"I knew they were hurting your feelings, and yet I just stood by… No, that's not just it."
She wasn't making sense. Severus was quiet, allowing her time.
"Severus – I told Malfoy the password."
Was the world as he knew it turning upside down? Talkative, cheerful, friendly, forgiving Mandy was miserable, and guilty. Maybe Malfoy really had threatened her with the Cruciatus curse. As the expression of horror rose on his face, she actually looked frightened. "I didn't want to," she whimpered. "But I had to…"
"What did he do?" Severus breathed. "Did he try to hurt you?"
"He blackmailed me." That was a surprise. As if Mandy could have secrets, could have anything you could blackmail her for. He frowned, confused.
"What's the worst that could have happened? I thought… Hufflepuff loyalty…"
Mandy winced at that, and he wondered if he was being cruel. Although a small, evil voice inside him said, Let her suffer.
"It was Hufflepuff loyalty, in a way," she said. "The Sorting Hat told me I had some Slytherin in me – I don't think anyone would guess that – and after my little brother Barry was Sorted, into Hufflepuff, he told me that the Sorting Hat had been switching between Slytherin and Hufflepuff – it couldn't decide which one to put him in, until he'd said that he wanted to be in Hufflepuff." She laughed, nervously. "Imagine being put in Slytherin, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you? One summer holiday I got home and there was a man in the living room, talking to my mother. He looked – like a vampire maybe. His name was Maximilien Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy's father."
Severus shivered. He had seen Malfoy's father, at King's Cross Station. A man dressed stylishly, but with inhuman, icy eyes, and an aloof manner.
Mandy had stopped talking. She fiddled with the tassles of her shawl.
"What happened?"
"Mum sent me out. Barry and our cousins were out playing Quidditch somewhere, she suggested I join them. But I listened to the conversation, instead. They'd put a block on eavesdropping charms, but Julie taught me a Muggle trick – you use a glass, and hold it to the wall. It worked pretty well." She paused, and absentmindedly chewed her lip. "Maximilien Malfoy… He… My mother had been very beautiful when she was younger. There are some photos of when I was a baby, where she looks so elegant. She and Malfoy's father were in school together. He met her again – after I was born." Mandy's eyes had tears in them, again. She was now talking haltingly. "He used a spell on her – I mean, it's a bit like the Imperious curse, but it worked on her mind, not her body. She would do anything for him – and… I mean…"
Severus touched her shaking hands, gradually understanding what horrific thing had happened. She gripped his, gratefully, and, not being able to say what he had done outright, she said, "Barry's Malfoy's brother."
"Malfoy blackmailed you with this?" Severus asked softly. Mandy nodded through her silent tears.
"Barry – doesn't know… I'm sorry, I should have told you before… I thought Malfoy had unleashed some hideous creature into the common room, I was so afraid. I thought he'd kill us all. Somehow, I'd managed to forget about him, I'd been enjoying myself. I wish I could have got Remus something better than acid pops, to make it up to him. I should have told you – I should have told Sirius…"
"It's all right," he said desperately. "I don't think I could have told anyone if…" Merely imagining Selina as a Malfoy was horrible. "Thank you for telling me – it means a lot, it really does."
She looked at him with melancholy eyes, and then suddenly realised she was still gripping his hands. She let them go, with a slight blush.
"Ravenclaw's password is Hummingbird," he blurted out. "I'm usually the last one studying late – if you want to come talk about it, or Greentrees, or anything. Don't take any risks though…"
"Thank you," she said, quietly.
Severus got up – and then remembered something. "The Sorting Hat mentioned Slytherin to me, as well. What would Sirius say to that?"
"You don't act anything like one," Mandy said.
"I should go now – our Potions exam is tomorrow."
"If you stay up much later, you'll be too tired to come top."
He smiled – she walked with him to the portrait hole.
"Still here, are you?" the girl with the flowers said, sounding bored.
Orion was outside – in the dark, Severus could still see the expression of delight on Mandy's face. He lifted the cat into her arms, and she petted him.
"You can keep him for tonight, if you want," he offered. "He's like a hot-water bottle. It's impossible to have insomnia with him around."
"Will you be all right without him?"
"I should think so – and it won't be so awful if I get caught, you know, Professor Flitwick can't bear to take points from me."
"Thanks, Severus."
"It's all right – I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yes – herbology."
Through the dark corridors, Severus crept. He felt too tired to think about what had happened, to analyse that terrible revelation. He felt a little lonely, not being able to go to sleep with Orion purring next to him, but he was grateful he was in good hands. He resigned himself to another long night - but something inside him was to rest knowing at least Mandy cared about how he felt, and wouldn't ignore it with "Come on Sev, he's just not worth worrying about…" In the dark, hazy night, Severus slept.
***
A/N – to my wonderful reviewers…
Ghost Dancer – Thank you!!!!
Sara – I do intend to finish it! Although as I said, I thought it would be finished by now… which just goes to show what happens when you get carried away with a story. Thanks for your review!
isa – thank you! And you're welcome for the review (especially as I didn't write very much!), I really liked your story, it was awesome. (storyid 703036)
Lataradk – I'm writing much more on the sixth year than I thought I would! I'm really glad you like the Quidditch match, one reason it took a while was that I wasn't sure if I could pull it off all right. Also glad you didn't find it predictable :-) I know the ending was indeed quite sad… this story's getting rather dark… but I can't write an entirely depressing story without getting depressed myself, so I can promise that there will be more cheerful stuff (see this chapter).
A/N 2 – Wow, a chapter with a reasonably happy ending. It sudddenly occurred to me that the past three chapters have all ended quite nastily… anyway, for you peeps who like happy endings, here's one.
A/N 3 – This was a sort of risky chapter to write, as it contained rather a lot of Mandy, and I've been soul-searching as to whether she counts as a Mary-Sue or not… Personally, I don't think she is, but still, original characters are difficult to add in, especially when they're not as adorable as Amaryllis, created by NytBloomer (storyid 572331 – this is an NC-17) or as just plain irresistibly Slytherin as Cerise Corvus created by Slytherin's Silver Snake (storyid 462519). Anyway, I hope you like her. I didn't intend to write this much on her, but I like her too damn much. On the other hand, if you thought the entire chapter was a misplaced disaster (review if you did) that messed with the whole mood of the story, worry not – there's going to be action in the next chapter!
A/N 4 – Severus is this story is definitely 'nice Snape'. He's a little like the Snape in Serpentina's 'A little of your time' (storyid 524807)… for the record, in my desperately requiring an update story 'Snape's Redemption', he's nasty, has no excuses Snape.
A/N 5 – I really should write shorter author's notes.
