A grimace pulled at Jaskier's lips as he read the note from Essi over once more. Besides his plans officially put in place and the discovery of his broken lute that she and Pris had repaired, Jaskier the Bard was dead. Though he can't really complain considering that was what his instructions were for her to do, he knows he can never return to that life, not now and not ever.

Between the curse and war, Jaskier isn't sure if he would truly survive in the end and if he somehow does… well, he loved being a Witcher despite the violence and the people.

"What news did Essi deliver?" Levana asked from the doorway of her small hut.

"Jaskier is dead." He rumbled turning as the scent of grief filled the air. "Levana, there is no way I can go back, not now with the war. Nilfgaard will try to find any who are loyal to Geralt."

"I know Julek, I know but it still pains me." She whispered walking forward, her hand brushing back a strand of hair from his face. "Let me worry for you brother, it's the least I can do, and someone has to."

Closing his eyes, he laid his own hand over hers and sighed. "I need a portal."

"Where?" Levana asked with a worried from. "Why?"

"To Haern Caduch," He started, ignoring the way her breath hitched. "There's news that the White Flame himself is making his way to Cintra, it's my only chance to stop this."

Levana let her hand drop and stepped back, heart hammering in her chest and grief swirling around in a way that hadn't since the death of her love. She knew her curse was strong, knew that she had broken something within him that day, but she didn't know how much till now. Witchers don't usually get involved with human affairs, not Bears at least, she knew Violet took assassination contracts now and then, but Julek never did. Yet here he is now.

"I won't be able to portal you right to the keep, I have never been and if the rumours are true and I was able, you'd never be able to dig yourself out of the snow." She replied around the lump in her throat.

"Then close enough, I was made in that keep Lev, I know my way in and out even in decades of snowfall." Jaskier chuckled. "I did spend a good chunk of my childhood digging the snow free from the courtyards."

Another sigh escaped Levana's lips and she handed him the satchel of her spell potions to him. "Very well, but why do you need to return there?"

"There is a lichen I need that only grows near Haern Caduch, Snow Caloplaca," Jaskier replied calmly, his eyes glinting and face blank. "There is a potion I need to make that needs it."

Realisation dawned on Levana's face. "You need to make Rage, Julien that…"

"I know Lev that Rage is highly Toxic and extremely dangerous, but I am a Bear." He replied with a slight chuckle. Rage was a potion only his school made and took, the mutations that his school made were not like the others and this specific potion was discovered by accident long ago. For a brief time once consumed would alter the mutations more, kind of a mix between Swallow, Black blood and Blizzard.

Except it also makes the anger within them into a blood thirst, it's a potion consumed only in a last-ditch effort when overrun, when you saw no other option than to take it. Julek had consumed Rage twice since his change, one during the tournament when he fought human and Witcher alike, he barely felt the wounds given to him and the other was just after the trials when they had to see if they could endure it.

He had seen what the potion had done to a Viper when they took it out of curiosity, the results were… horrific.

Now, here he was willingly ready to take it again.

"Very well," Lev replied resigned. "I made myself a pendant Julien, call for me if you need me."

Laughter, a small huff really, escaped his lips as he felt her glance through his memories of the keep and opened the portal behind him. With a nod of his head as she stared at him in disapproval, the lark pendant hidden on a small earring by wild curls the last is the last thing he sees as he steps back and lets it close.

The bitter wind hit him with vigour, he had forgotten how fast the cold here could sink into your bones, even with Witcher mutations. His eyes glance up and squint through the flurries to where the Keep should be, surprise flashing through him as he saw the walls visible and a door to enter even if half of the keep was buried.

Trudging through the knee-height snow was a pain but he made it to the door quickly and pushed through. That, shouldn't be possible. His eyes scanned the hallway that he had not seen in an age, breathing in deeply to scent the air and finding several scents he had never expected to smell again.

"Julien?" A voice called as he slowly made his way through the passage towards the dining hall. "You're alive?"

The Witcher before him had aged, his face a visage much like Vesemir that it takes Jaskier off guard, though that may also be because he didn't expect to see another Bear again. Honestly, he had thought to be the last of his school. He took his time to take in the silver-streaked black hair, the new scars and surprisingly the most was the emotion hidden by the dark eyes. "Hello, Gron."

In a blink Jaskier found himself in a Bear Hug, his body stiffening on impulse hands spasming at his side to not strike out. Gron sensing his unease let go and stepped back out of striking range, his eyes wary in a way that Jaskier had never seen before.

"Apologies Gron, I did not expect that not ever from a brother and especially not ever from you," Jaskier replied in a tone that reminded him of the way he used to speak when he was younger.

"I apologise, Julien, it's been many years and not many of us are left. I've spent many years haunting this decrepit keep and, in that time, as well as contact with other schools… I have come to realise that perhaps our ways of teaching were…" Gron trailed off unable to say the words, but Jaskier knew what he meant. "What brought you home Julien after all this time?"

Humming in a way that was very much Geralt he began to make his way further into the dining hall, pausing as he saw three other Bear Witcher's huddled by the massive hearth, the smell of venison stew rich and thick in the air. Their entire attention was on him, it was unsettling to say the least.

"I am only here because I need to harvest Snow." He explained watching the minute facial expressions. "I did not expect to see anyone here."

"You are making Rage?" The youngest Witcher of the three asked, Zadin his mind supplied, very surprised.

Nodding Jaskier made his way through the keep down into the depths of it, his face set into a neutral mask as he glanced past the room where his entire class beyond himself died. The main stillroom and harvesting area was beyond it, half in disarray but it seemed to be still in use.

Gron followed his student with weariness, taking note of all the changes. The Path it seemed hadn't been nice for Julien, scars pulling at his cheek and eye, gaunt in a way only a hard few years on the Path was able to make. Though he was surprised to see snow white hair instead of chestnut brown, broken eyes in one who was always so full of life, and it pulled at him in a way that was unexpected.

He like all the other masters who trained the boys did all they could to break him, yet Julien seemed to thrive, his emotions pushing him, and his spirit never broken.

"There are vials of Rage along the far wall, I make them every season just in case." He supplied, watching the aborted movement with concern. Julien's hands shook, the bells he had enjoyed on the odd choice of weapons clinking. "There are only two."

"I only need one." It was said as a matter of fact.

"May I ask why? You never desired Rage, rejected it thoroughly if I recall." Gron asked keeping his tone neutral.

Julien grabbed the vial and tucked it away in the potion belt at his hip, turning slightly to look at the man who brought him here so long ago. "Surely you've heard what they call me Gron, why else would I need the potion in these times."

Kinslayer. Gron didn't believe it, not one word of it. "I heard but that has no relevance here unless you have become like the Vipers, a Kingslayer, Julien."

Golden blue eyes peered back at him with something, but Gron let the Cub think, he was patient, he could wait for Julien to tell him.

"Jaskier. I go by Jaskier now."

Surprise shot through Gron, eyes widening as the meaning of that name hit him. The White Wolf's Bard, the one who had written Toss a Coin and made the Path for all Witchers slightly more bearable. Julien-Jaskier. Realisation followed the surprise, the rumours his Cubs brought back about the Wolf and his child, how he was in two places at once, leading Nilfgaard on a merry chase in the wilds.

"You're facing Nilfgaard."

"Yes."

"Why?" he asked desperately as they made their way back up to the dining hall, it also didn't slip Gron's notice that the only potion Julien took was Rage. "It is a death sentence Jul-Jaskier even for a Bear Witcher on Rage."

Jaskier paused at the door, staring at his mentor with determination and fire. "Because of love. Because they're after the child I adore and the man I love. Goodbye Gron, may the Path be easy for you and the others this will be the last I return."

The Elder Witcher watched as Julien vanished into the snow before he could reply. Plans began to form in his mind as he turned back, the door closing softly behind him. He failed the kid more times than he could care to remember, it's time to start fixing that.

X

Jaskier cast a look up into the sky, his breath coming out in puffs in the cold night air. The stars above him glittered beautifully, almost merrily. It had been a long time since he was able to see this sky this high up, he hadn't since the fall of Haern Caduch. He always tried to avoid the peaks of the Amell Mountains with all he could but sometimes he just couldn't.

Like now, it took him days to reach a point the air didn't burn his lungs and the frost didn't seep into his bones after leaving the keep. Goddess, his old mentor still lived as did Zadin, Eben and Immek. Seeing their faces again, seeing the halls of his home and the memories it brought forth was agonizing.

Goddess, he was in so much pain.

Levana was able to help some of course but had begged for him to remove the Medallion, even for a moment to ease it more. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he physically couldn't, that he had worn it for too long and the curse did its job. He couldn't break her heart any more than he has already.

"Are you out of your ever-lovin' fuckin' mind Bear?" A voice snarled from the right, yet Jaskier did not move beyond leaning back on the log further to get a better view of the sky.

A sigh escaped his lips as he gestured, his claws glinting in the firelight. "You'll have to be more specific, Viper."

"Facing down Nilfgaard alone, at all." Letho snarled as he stepped close to Julien and leant over blocking the idiot's view. "When Serrit told me that you had begun taking on small bands of Nilfgaards soldiers and that he and Auckes were sent to find you, I thought I was dreamin'."

Letho was furious, his face twisting in a scowl that Julien was familiar with. "So, the supposed White Flame sent you when I sent them back?"

"Yes," the reply came out in a hiss. "But fuck Nilfgaards king. Why are you doing this Julien?"

Another sigh escaped Jaskier's lips as he sat up, running his fingers through his glamoured hair everyone kept asking him and it only added to the bitter taste of pain. "Because… because they hunt a child I love very much and the man who claimed her."

"Fuck Julien, why didn't you contact me sooner, I would have helped you. You know I have no qualms about killing humans, especially fucking asshole ones who hunt children." Letho hissed out again in frustration, taking a heavy seat across from him.

"Because," Jaskier replied unable to meet Letho's eyes, his hand rubbing idly at his chest.

Letho narrowed his eyes as he took note of all that was wrong with his friend, comparing him to the man he knew, the human that found him in Skellige and the current man before him. It was alarming to say the least at all the things wrong that could be seen. Yet, there was something in Julien's eyes that caused Letho to swear violently, he knew the look well.

"You didn't plan to make it out of this, did you?" He asked leaning back, the silence his answer. "What would your Wolf think I wonder?"

"Absolutely fucking nothing Letho." Jaskier snapped back with a barely contained growl. "The last I saw of him was a year ago when he left me on a fucking mountain broken-hearted, shovelling shit is what I am good for, and I refuse to bring that on another I care about now of all times."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Julien met Letho's eyes across the fire, hollow and yet burning with a rage so deep. "My fate is sealed; my curse can no longer be delayed. With what little time I have left, I am going to do all I can to make sure that the Child is safe. That Geralt will not be put in a place where it is his life or hers because I could not… I cannot allow that if the choice is that or me. I choose me."

"You're an idiot," Letho replied after a lengthy silence, his mind a whirl of plans and half-thoughts. "Truly, I thought you were a Bear, not a Wolf. The self-sacrificing bullshit is their schtick and you should leave that to them. Your curse may not be able to be delayed but why hurtle your fate along faster? So don't be fucking stupid and let us help."

A rumbling snarl twisted at Jaskier's face, his teeth jagged and sharp as he bared his teeth in warning at the Viper.

"Easy Julien," Letho rumbled with raised hands.

"Sorry, my nerves are shot. It's been… a long few days." Jaskier replied once he swallowed down his rage. "Fine, what do you have in mind?"

The Viper leant forward with a feral grin, his hand going to his pouches and pulled out all the bombs that Auckes had given him. "The White Flame is making his way through the pass to Cintra the day after next, perhaps a slight avalanche to delay them is what you need.

Jaskier leant forward, his grin matching Letho's in equal measure.

X

The Keep was attacked… Jaskier jolted from his meditation, hand flying to the Lark Pendant as Aiden's voice cracked like a whip in his mind. A Mage attacked Vesemir… Burned his hands.

A scream of rage lodged in his throat as he keeled forward, hands digging into the rocky ground hard enough to bring forth blood. Bile churned in his stomach, the acid taste lingering on his tongue. He could feel hands on his person, holding him up, words buzzing in his ringing ears.

Eskel 'as left to find Geralt an' Ciri, to warn Nenneke… Lambert informed immediately after.

The news lessened the rage but did not quench it fully, that fucking fire fuck. He should have killed him when he had the chance, should have thrown a dagger instead of Igni. Of course, he wouldn't have stopped looking for Geralt and Ciri, was even dedicated enough to portal into Kaer Morhen which was warded against such things?

"Julien!" It was Serrit's voice that pulled him from the brink of rage, his accented lit soothing to his ears.

"Sorry… sorry." He rasped out, throat cracking from the constant stream of snarls.

The three Vipers exchanged glances over the head of the Bear, confusion and worry in all their gazes. Letho and Auckes were brewing more poisons while Serrit sharpened all the blades he had as Julien took his time to Meditate just several hours before sunrise. Everything was fine till fear spiked fast as Julien tipped forward snarling, the scent of a Bears Rage wafting off him in waves enough to steam.

Ciri is gone. The fucking sorceress took her… Eskel's voice was like a thunderstorm.

Geralt? Lambert asked with a hint of rage in his own voice, Coën's voice just as dark in anger.

Jaskier's eyes snapped open wide as the sting of betrayal that whipped at him like a bladed nine tails was washed over with confusion as he realised that the Witchers who carried his pendant were talking to each other and not him exactly but… they were still including him? How was this possible?

When I find you, Witch… he snarled down the pendant with only Yennefer's name on his mind.

"What is it?" Letho asked as he saw the rage twist on Julien's face, his hand dropping from his Medallion. "The curse?"

At the mention of the curse Auckes crouched before Julien, holding out the pain tonic he had brewed in the night. It was one used by their school, not unlike Swallow but it didn't interact with other potions and add to the toxicity. When they finally joined Letho and Julien the day before the Bear Witcher had explained his curse to them after nearly collapsing in ragged breaths after a lone Griffin nearly tore the Medallion from him.

Since then, Auckes has been passing him the tonics to him, a kindness earned long ago when Julien had saved him from the inhuman circus in the far south with Letho.

"No, the Wolf School was attacked," Jaskier explained, pushing the potion back towards Auckes gently but with a thankful twitch of the lips. "The Child was taken from Nenneke's temple by the mage who tortured me in Oxenfurt."

Hisses escaped the Vipers, but Jaskier ignored it and stood, stretching out his spasming muscles. He began to don his armour once more, pulling on the Claws easily enough though his fingers trembled and ached. "We don't have long then; this must be done now before she is taken to the White Flame."

"The bombss are already placed and ready to be detonated the moment Nilfgaard reachess the bend here," Serrit replied with a slight hiss.

Nodding Jaskier packed up what little gear he has, arranging the spell potions that Levana had given him and taking out the glowing red vial of Rage. Letho inhaled sharply as he saw it, hand snapping to the Bear's wrist with a warning.

"I've seen what that Potion does to a Witcher, Julien. It burned the man from the inside out, the death was not quick for Tytus." Letho explained, blinking when Julien grinned at him. It was a twisted smile that set him on edge, the very smile he gave many seasons back in Skellige.

"Because only Bear's can consume it, our mutations are…" Jaskier trailed off with a wave of his hand in explanation. Since being in the cold his body changed to reflect it, larger, bulkier with thicker hair. He matched Letho in height and thickness now. "Let's go."

The three Vipers shared another glance but shrugged, they knew all too well how each school's mutations varied. Vipers were more tolerable to poisons, their vision not as keen as their brethren but their taste and smell surpassed the others, their skin able to feel the smallest amount of vibrations.

The Wolves were stamina based.

The Cat's fucking agile as their namesake.

Cranes are made to survive the deepest of waters.

Griffin signs were some of the most powerful, their knowledge vast.

Manticores could survive the deserts of Zerrikania, the heat, and the lack of water.

And Bear's, bears were an unstoppable force that were made to Endure.

Jaskier paused briefly as Auckes and Serrit moved on, his hand shooting out to stop Letho. The large Viper paused and cast a glance at Julien with a raised brow, only to inhale sharply as Julien pulled out the Snake Dagger that was the token of the Life Debt and handed it to him.

"There is something I'll need you to do," Julien started, watching as Letho ignored the blade completely and pulled the Lark Pendant way from the twisted hilt with confusion. "Letho, if I fall… if I cannot endure what is about to happen then you need to hold that and call for Levana. She will come for me. Do you understand?"

Letho squinted at his friend who was staring at him with a desperate plea, slowly and hesitantly he wrapped his fingers around the hilt of his dagger and nodded, clipping it back on his thigh where it had been before… The relief on Julien's face at finally clearing the debt had a stone settling in Letho's stomach uncomfortably.

"It will be done, brother."

Closing his eyes Jaskier nodded, stepping back. "Thank you, brother."

Author Note: This chapter has been re-written so many times and I am still not happy with it.