I do not own anything. S.D. Smith owns the characters and the concept and format are from opera13's fan fictions from 2010. If anyone has a problem with me using opera13's ideas and format, please tell me and I will delete this. Otherwise, enjoy!
Gort
Owner's Guide and User Manual
Congratulations!
You are now the proud owner of a life-size GORT! In order to obtain top performance from your Rabbit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your Master Chef to his full potential.
Your GORT should arrive fully assembled. Please check that you have all his accessories (see specially chosen list below) and that you have been issued with the edition of GORT that you ordered (which I'm sure you did) as there is one:
Edition I GORT (copyright Smith, 2014)
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: Gort
Type: Rabbit
Manufacturers: Flint and Fay, Inc.
Description:
Edition I GORT – Short, as "wide as he is tall", his ears lay flat against his head.
ACCESSORIES
Your GORT unit, regardless of the edition, will be shipped to you in a protective crate. He will be wearing a simple tunic and apron. He will also be shipped with a large box full of his favorite spoons, measuring cups, and bowls. There will also be high-quality spices, including salt. (Note: It is highly recommended that you don't mess with Gort's kitchen supplies. He is very strict about that.)
OPERATING PROCEDURE
Your GORT has been designed to be user-friendly and efficient. His controls are voice-activated. Please state your instructions clearly in English or Natalian.
USES
Your GORT is a rabbit of many talents and abilities and can be utilized in one capacity about the house:
Chef:
GORT is an incredible chef and will happily take charge of cooking all your meals, that is, if you applaud his cooking each time.
COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS
You will find that you GORT is compatible with pretty much every model. It is not known whether he is averse to Birds of Prey and Wolves, as we are still undergoing testing in that area, but we would advise you to be cautious, because even if GORT is not averse to them, they might try to eat GORT. Also, he doesn't like anyone who messes with his cooking.
PRECAUTIONS
Do not expose your GORT to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, excessive humidity, too much salt, or crazy apprentices.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q. Why does GORT spend so much time in the kitchen?
A. If you are asking that, you have no business owning a GORT. Just saying.
Q. Why is he so...um…large?
A. We haven't quite gotten to the bottom of that yet. However, we assume it's because GORT can't resist his own culinary creations and loves to enjoy them as well as make them!
TROUBLESHOOTING
Problem: GORT won't let me in the kitchen. All I want is a glass of water!
Solution: He must be preparing one of his special dishes for you and doesn't want any interferance. There's really nothing you can do until he's done. Get a drink from the bathroom.
Problem: I tried to help GORT in the kitchen, but he kicked me out. Literally.
Solution: Yes, GORT can be quite a force sometimes. Don't worry about it though, he still likes you, he is just easily irritated.
Problem: GORT just finished my meal and set it on the table. He said he's already eaten but is standing next to the table. Why?
Solution: GORT doesn't like to leave the eating area until someone compliments his food. Tell him how good it is (if it is good, which I'm sure it is because GORT's food is always delicious) and he'll smile, look down, and then leave.
AMUSING SITUATIONS
(1) If you buy our GORT'S APPRENTICES BOXED SET or our BRESHWACK model, you can watch them add too many spices in the soup and GORT will chase them out of the kitchen.
FINAL NOTE
Due to the mortal nature of GORT, you will find that you have not been issued with a guarantee. However, if he is taken very well care of, and has had no contact with things that might kill him (such as Wolves), GORT should live for some fifty plus years. Those owners who are already used to the 6,342,000 month extended warranties issued with previous units may find this rather disappointing; console yourself with the knowledge that GORT units are much less expensive to maintain as they do not require personal stylists and top-of-the-line care products, or really any care at all.
