"So are you planning on going out anytime soon?"
Stephen twisted his brow up in concerned interest.
"Well now that you mention it I rather thought I'd go this weekend unless my chaperone has other plans".
Noel gently cleared her throat and peered over in Algernon's direction.
"Now as a matter of fact now that you mention it, no I don't have any plans.
Of course I never do these days since I'm usually so terribly overworked".
Algernon absent mindedly put one too many kippers on his plate which he suddenly remember was one he wasn't serving but was the plate he was to bring to the table for himself.
"I say usually because as of late I finally have the extra help I deserve.
I wonder why no one ever had thought of that before.
Oh yes that's right someone did.
First it was me and then it was you Noel.
Pity nobody else thought of me"
"That's enough Algee.
Of course somebody bloody well thought of you.
I did when I decided to have my niece take on the role as your assistant.
So do try to show a little gratitude."
Stephen chastised Algernon.
"Oh I shall...very very soon".
Algee's eyes comically widened in his smug amusement
Algernon took a seat at the dining table so he could have his breakfast with the rest of the family.
"Sooo...where are you two going this time?
Any place special?"
Feliciana beamed her voice slightly crackling as she spoke.
Noel inhaled nearly silently, her mouth opened, just about to explain there had been no plans on the exact location of their next outing.
"Olmsted... we're going to Olmsted".
Algernon blurted out.
"Olmsted...as in the Olmsted the American Architect?"
Stefan didn't want to sound dense even though he had no idea that it was a restaurant.
"No honey Olmsted is the name of a fancy restaurant in Brooklyn.
Well it's not that fancy but let's just say its somewhere between affordable and hold the goose liver pate. They have food that's absolutely delish, believe me.
They have food to die for I'm telling you.
I kid you not"
"Oh I'll have to lay off the goose liver.
Doctor's orders you know".
"Oh yeah sure says the man that piles 4 helpings of fish on his plate".
"That was an accident.
I was distracted."
"Like whenever you open you open your mouth?"
Noel cruelly snarked back.
"Back on your feet again I see and livelier than ever.
Is this the new you or is this the old you just making a comeback?
Old is the new beautiful these days.
Besides vintage suits you."
"Awfully funny coming from someone who's almost on SSI."
"Almost I'm practically on their list.
I'm still waiting for their letter of approval in the mail.
Speaking of age you're getting awfully witty in your old age."
"Oh Algee what are you talking about? She's only 21".
Feliciana hollered at Algernon but not at all unkindly.
"Oh yes her age is 21 but that wit of hers is at least over 41."
"I know, I know, You should guess her mental age.
I think it's anywhere between 50 and 75 but that's all I'm going to say about it.
A woman's age should always be kept a secret.
I know I have for most my life.
I still tell everyone I'm no more than 35."
"Then why do we keep celebrating your 30th birthday every year?"
Sebastian asked with a naive look on his face.
"A woman never tells but I will say one thing that it does add a little mystery to your love life.
I mean what will your husband have to do on your honeymoon?
He needs something to challenge his mind while he's untying his robe and changing from his nighty whities to his plaid pajamas".
"I'll have you know I do not wear nighty whities.
If there was anything mentally challenging about our honeymoon Fell it was me trying to figure out how to get your bright orange lipstick out of my silk pajamas".
Stefan tried to gather his dignity during the conversation.
"Oh no, wasn't that the same orange stain that was on your silk kimono?
Maybe my memory is failing me but I do recall you coming home with Fell in one arm and your silk kimono in the other but if it's any consolation you didn't bring any nighty whities home with you for me to wash.
Yet yes it was very mentally challenging not to mention physically."
Algernon's smooth operator voice responded to Stefan's weak attempt on a witty story.
"As tantalizing as this conversation maybe perhaps we better change the subject.
Noel, do you plan to go anywhere after dinner at Olmsted's?"
"I'm not sure.
I think it's best that I should return home afterwards that way i can get to bed at a decent hour".
Noel quietly said as she shortly held a glass of orange juice to her lips.
"Still as sensible as ever as I see.
I know I gave you brief lecture on you getting the proper sleep but I don't want that to prevent you from having a good time.
I know you just think I'm awfully old fashioned but I'm not that strict as to keep you from enjoying yourself.
You are an adult and it is entirely up to you when it comes to your sleep regiment.
So by all means you, stay out late, enjoy yourself, come home when you want to.
I trust you'll be just as sensible out there in the real world just like you are here at home.
Plus you'll be in very good hands.
Algernon is a excellent protector.
He practically has a black belt when it comes to fighting.
He ended many a dispute with those fists haven't you old man?"
Stefan crinkled his face in fond remembrance.
"Oh I'm not all that.
I just took, Judo, taekwondo, Jujitsu, Kido and kickboxing lessons.
I was never a black belt but let's just say I know my way around martial arts territory.
I have what New Yorkers like to call street skills.
You know I really should have been a body guard instead of a Butler."
"Maybe one day you will be.
If ever I need a body guard I'll look you up".
Noel smiled that secret Mona Lisa smile.
"If you move to Brooklyn you very well might have to".
Fell laughed obnoxiously at her joke.
"Oh nonsense, no niece of mine is moving to Brooklyn.
I rather like having you live here with us.
I don't mind you exploring Brooklyn but I will not allow you to live there without a full time chaperone."
Stefan smacked his clothe napkin on the table.
"Oh don't worry I have no intention of moving to Brooklyn Uncle.
Even if I did move there I'd be sure to take Algernon with me.
We could share an apartment together.
I mean his retirement alone would pay for half the rent".
"You're so funny, No.
I mean seriously i almost had to change into new underwear".
Fell took her clothe napkin and smeared some of her lipstick while wiping off her mouth at the dining table.
"Yes his retirement should pay for half the rent but what about the other half?
Are you planning getting a stuffy office job?"
Stefan nearly sounded angry but it was only his way of joining the witty wars within his household.
"I'll put an ad in the paper that says "One Butler's Assistant. Not to be Mistaken for Maid.
Will not work for less than $20 an hour."
"Oh mine should go "One Bodyguard Available.
Willing to do light cleaning.
I don't do windows, will prepare meals occasionally.
Laundry work not included.
Small fees apply for sewing skills.
Will not accept any salary less than $30 an hour."
Algee's eyes gleamed with his present cleverness.
"That sounds surprisingly close to what a butler does, Algee.
So you might have to do better than that".
Stefan snapped back at this.
"Oh I plan to sir.
If ever I leave this place I'll have a even better job where I won't be required to scrub out 10 year old ketchup stains and remove old chimichanga grease from someone's pushup bra.
I'm still working out the kinks but I'm sure if I keep at it I'll get it just right.
I do like Noel's advertisement better.
It's quick, concise, direct and straight to the point".
"Yes it also doesn't make one sound like your a old overworked housekeeper who's name is Olga".
Stefan retorted back.
"Then they should be surprised when they see a man walk through the door.
Perhaps I could dress the part.
I mean it is Brooklyn, I'm sure people have seen worse".
"With the right lipstick you could probably pull it off".
Stefan brought the room into hysterics.
Even Algernon had to laugh.
"So Olmsted's.
How does 7 sound?"
"7 sounds great".
Stefan chortled though a mouthful of coffee.
"I hope you two have a wonderful time".
