The indicator ticks out a countdown as Becky sits idling at the turnoff to Gungellan. Breathtaking, gently sloping pastures stretch out in every direction, and the midday sun warms her steering wheel like an old friend. Her eyes drift closed, and she pictures the road ahead. Even after all these years, she can trace every turn and straight that leads to Drover's, can list off each shop and house along the way. They all hold fond memories, even now. This place planted roots in her heart that no amount of time will ever unearth.
What has she missed in her time at the ag college? Has anyone new come to town? Have Tess and Nick finally got their act together, or are they still dancing around their feelings for one another? And what about Jodi? They kept in contact for the first few months before slowly drifting apart as their lives became busier. Does Jodi still live with Meg, or has she left the farm to chase her dreams elsewhere?
Of course, Jodi told her about Claire's death. Becky cried on and off for a week, and she considered coming back to help with the farm – but she knew if she did, she would never return to her studies and work out if she had what it took to graduate. She owed it to herself to try. And to Seanie. As the first Howard to ever go to tertiary education, what message would she send to him if she dropped out?
Shaking her head, she lets her gaze settle on the distant hills. Once, tired and drained after a long day of mending fences, Jodi coaxed her into rolling down them together, giggling like schoolgirls. Meg wasn't happy when she saw the state of Jodi's clothes, although Becky quickly lied and pretended they'd slipped while setting a post.
Her foot hovers over the accelerator, but she can't bring herself to make that turn. Gungellan holds the best memories of her life – finding a home and family, loving Brick, riding across the most beautiful land in the world – but it also holds the worst. Being raped. Hearing all the rumours and judgements and snide remarks. Finding Brick's body.
Becky has changed so much over the past three years. She has always known she's capable, but now she feels it in a different way. As tempting as it is to revisit all the good memories, does she really want to face the bad ones again too? Will they just pull her back to the girl she was before she even gets the chance to see who she could become?
Gungellan was her past, and her lifeblood will always sing its name. No matter where she goes, she knows she'll always has a home here, a soft place to catch her if she starts to crash.
But for now, perhaps it's time to leave that in the past, jump headfirst into the country outside its boundaries, and see where she winds up. If it's right back here where she started, at least she'll know it's by choice, not fear of the unknown.
'Sorry, Jodes,' she mutters as she indicates right and pulls back onto the road. 'It looks like all that talk about travelling finally got to me.'
