Disclaimer: It's all CLAMP's. All of it.
Warnings: Romance, the awareness of impending death not spoken about but looming overhead.
Pairing: Sai/Kaede
Continuity: Manga canon only. Spoilers for some stuff that was revealed in Chobits.
Sai used to spend all her free time playing on the Layer. Now, as much as she could, she was at the hospital, sitting with Kaede. Sometimes their friends from the Layer were there, sometimes Kaede's mother. More rarely, Kaede's father and younger brother came, but since her parents were divorced and those two lived in another part of Tokyo now, they couldn't make it out to visit her often.
Sai just didn't want Kaede to be alone. No, it was more than that – she wanted to spend as much time as she could with her girlfriend, to fit what should have been a lifetime together into a few days or weeks or months.
They just didn't know.
Sai didn't even know how to articulate what she was feeling. She wanted all the future she hadn't even thought about until it was taken away from her. She missed Kaede desperately, and Kaede was right here beside her. She wanted to do something, but there was nothing she could do.
And so, no matter how restless it made her feel, Sai took the bus to the hospital as often as she could to sit with Kaede, hold her hand, and talk about anything other than the inevitable.
She still played Angelic Layer. Partly because Kaede wanted her to, partly to be able to talk about it with her, and partly because it let her channel her energies into something other than waiting.
It was on a day like that, hanging out with Kaede at the hospital, talking about everything and nothing to avoid talking about the big thing, that Kaede said it. Dropped her words like a bomb on Sai's heart.
"I wish we could have gotten married," Kaede murmured.
Sai squeezed her hand. She didn't know what to say. The Japanese government didn't recognize marriage between two girls. And even if they did, their parents probably wouldn't. Sai knew her own parents wouldn't approve.
Their friends were cool with their relationship, but Sai suspected the only member of either of their families who'd be happy for them was Kaede's little brother.
It was enough to make her furious. What business was it of theirs whether Sai and Kaede got married? Or anyone's? Certainly not the government's – it should be just between the two of them.
"Let's do it," Sai said suddenly. Kaede turned to her with eyes made larger by the shadows under them. "Let's get married," Sai continued. She had no idea what she was going to say until it came out of her mouth, but she kept rolling. "We don't need a fancy ceremony. All that matters is how we feel, right? So let's do it. We can exchange rings here, make our vows to each other."
Kaede smiled. It lit up Sai's world like the Moon coming out from behind clouds. "Yes. Let's do it."
Sai grinned back at her. She felt giddy, like something inside her was lifting her body, cell by cell, up of the chair. Maybe it was Kaede. "We can figure something out just for us."
"We can have flowers," Kaede added. Sai almost laughed. There were always flowers in the room. "We can get rings," she said, and hesitated. "Should i get two?"
Kaede shook her head. "I have a ring in mind at home. In my room. I'll ask my mother to bring it for me."
"Okay," said Sai. "Cool."
Kaede laid her hand on Sai's. Her skin was cold, and felt so much more fragile than it used to. "I'm very happy," she said. "This is wonderful."
Sai leaned in to press her forehead to Kaede's. "I'm happy too. You don't have to worry about me."
Sai didn't have any handy rings lying on her dresser top at home. She wasn't much of a girl for jewelry.
She wasn't proud of it. She went to Piffle Princess.
The points earned playing Angelic Layer could be spent like money, but only at Piffle Princess stores and facilities. Sai couldn't afford to go to a fancy jewelry store.
And Piffle Princess did carry pretty good-quality things. It didn't matter what those things were. Piffle meant quality. They didn't sell necklaces whose chains made your neck itch or rings that left a green stripe on your finger. It seemed like a logical choice, even if it also seemed like a kid's choice rather than someone genuinely planning to get married.
Well, she was a teenager. So was Kaede. It was what it was.
It was only after Sai started to peruse the jewelry section of her favorite Piffle Princess store that Sai realized she didn't know Kaede's ring size.
But it would be okay, right? She wouldn't . . . she wouldn't need it for long . . .
Sai put those thoughts firmly out of her mind. All she had to do right now was to pick out a ring for the girl she loved.
And she did, she did find one. There was one ring design that spoke to her, a cute design of a heart, wearing a crown, clasped in two hands. Her ring couldn't be gold, not at this price, but it looked like it, and it made Sai smile to think of Kaede wearing it.
Yes, this was the one.
She did have to check with Kaede before she could actually buy the thing, but it worked out. She was feeling good about it.
It was a start.
Sai wasn't sure what she was doing. She'd never been the kind of girl with an interest in weddings. Maybe because she'd always known deep down that they weren't an option for her.
But she wanted to do this right, for Kaede's sake. Kaede deserved it. And Sai was the one able to get out and about, so she should take care of as much as she could. Over the following days, she wracked her brains for all the tidbits of wedding lore she'd heard but never paid attention to. There was a rhyme, wasn't there?
How did that old rhyme go? Sai knew she'd heard it before. Something old, something new, something gold, and something blue? Something like that.
Well, this ring was goldish, and Kaede's hospital clothes were light blue. They were halfway there.
Not to mention that the ring Sai bought was new, and Kaede's was theoretically old. They might just have this in the bag.
Flowers. Kaede wanted flowers, and so they needed flowers.
Lilies were nice.
Or was that too morbid? Sai was pretty sure that in some countries lilies were used as funerary offerings.
What else? Carnations, maybe? Chrysanthemums? No, that was no good.
Roses. You were supposed to have roses, right? That sounded safe, and reasonably romantic. Sai couldn't get those from Piffle Princess (yet, they were branching out all the time), so she'd have to look into the prices for flowers.
So, rings, flowers, and a promise. That was probably all they needed, though Sai really should dress up. She normally followed the grand tradition of Japanese students wearing their school uniform in formal situations, but she didn't want to get married in her uniform.
The next best thing was a furisode, a gift from her grandmother, blue with swirls of dark smoke. Sai almost never wore it. She didn't even know how to put it on by herself. She would have to get her mother to help, and come up with an excuse why she wanted to wear it.
But she could see herself getting married in a kimono.
They had to set a date, even though it was about as informal as a wedding could be, just so that Sai could get her end of the preparations ready. Her kimono, fresh flowers, and one more idea she'd had – she needed to know when to have it all ready.
So they did. It was only about a week in advance, since they didn't have that much to prepare. They didn't invite any of their friends from Angelic Layer, or either of their families. This was just for them.
Sai told her mother she wanted to wear the kimono, just for a change. She couldn't believe she got away with it, but what mattered was that it worked. She went out into town and learned exactly how much harder it was to maneuver in a kimono than her ordinary clothes.
That didn't matter. She was so happy, and so nervous, she thought her heart might burst. It would explode, and she'd end up in the next bed over to Kaede.
Alright, so that was something to look forward to, right? Even if this turned into a disaster, at least the two of them would still be together. It wasn't like when they'd first started dating, when Sai was afraid the littlest thing could make Kaede realize she really didn't like this blunt, blank-faced girl who she only had Angelic Layer in common with. Sai knew she could trust Kaede with her heart.
She kept that in mind as she traversed the city. If all else failed, they could rely on each other. She made her first stop, and then on to the flower shop. She still couldn't believe the price roses commanded, but she could afford a few.
With her hands completely full, and the restrictive kimono, it was a miracle Sai made it to the hospital without mishap. The front doors were automatic, and she could lean on the button for the elevator, but opening the door to Kaede's private room required some tricky maneuvering. Sai almost wished a nurse would come through at just the right moment and open it for her, but no. The nurses were busy, and she could manage on her own.
She twisted the handle at last, roses clutched in one hand, bag hanging from her other wrist, box balanced in the crook of her elbow.
"Do you need help?" Kaede asked from her hospital bed.
"No, it's fine, i've got it," Sai assured her, as she continued to negotiate the doorway.
"Are you sure? I can call a nurse–"
"Too late!" Sai reshuffled everything she was holding in success. Kaede laughed. Sai grinned as she carried everything in and tried to set it as gracefully as she could on the bedside dresser without knocking over the vase already there.
"You look beautiful," Kaede said, and Sai could hear the giggle still in her voice. "Thanks," she replied, ignoring the funny little squiggle that always came when words like beautiful were applied to her of all people.
No, the dresser wasn't happening. Sai dropped to her knees and piled everything on the floor where there was more space. She'd sort it out properly in a minute, but first things first. Sai got up and kissed Kaede. "You look great too."
"Oh, stop it," Kaede chided.
"I mean it. You'll always be beautiful to me." Sai glanced around. There appeared to be a camera set up in the windowsill. She went over to tap on the device. "What's this?"
"It's a camera," Kaede explained. "Minoru said we should record it. Many people do film their weddings."
"He says that, but really he just wants to see it himself, right?" Sai kept her answer light. What was Kaede's little brother thinking? Had they even told him the diagnosis?
"I want you to have it," Kaede said. "What have you brought?"
"Oh, that?" Sai had almost forgotten. "I'll show you later. It's a surprise." She came back around the bed to take care of it. She swapped out the old flowers for her handful of fresh roses, nudged the cardboard box back into the corner, and set the bag on the dresser behind the vase. Shirahime came out of the bag to sit next to Blanche at the front, and she was ready. All that was left was to go start the camera for Kaede, so she did.
Sai took a deep breath, then went back around to perch on the side of Kaede's bed and take her hands. "Let's get married."
"Let's." The corners of Kaede's eyes crinkled. "Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today . . ."
Sai laughed in spite of herself. "Are we going to go through all that?"
"No." There was mischief in Kaede's smile. "I just wanted to see you laugh. For real this time." She drew herself up. "Sai Jounouchi." Kaede's voice was soft, but it didn't waver. "Do you promise to take me as your wedded wife, to love and honor me, through joys and sorrows, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live?"
There was a lot there that was hard for Sai to think about. But there was a lot to be happy of, as well. "I do," she said, and she never meant anything more.
Now it was her turn. "Do you, Kaede Saitou, take me to be your wedded wife, to honor and cherish me, through joys and sorrows, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live?" She only faltered a little, on certain key words.
"I do." Kaede's eyes shone brightly.
Sai lost track of her words for a moment. "Then – the rings." She fumbled for the ring she had bought and slipped it onto the third finger of Kaede's left hand, the point of the heart pointing up at Kaede's heart.
Kaede mirrored the gesture, slipping her plain silver band onto Sai's finger, then looked up at her. "You may kiss your bride."
Sai's heart stopped, then kicked into overdrive. She leaned down and pressed her lips to Kaede's. Kaede clutched her shoulder and returned the kiss.
They broke apart for a breath, but Sai couldn't resist pursuing a second kiss, right on the heels of the first.
Finally, mindful of the camera on its stand, Sai pulled back. "I now pronounce us married." She was grinning so hard her cheeks hurt.
"My wife," said Kaede fondly.
"Forever," Sai told her, getting up to stop the camera. "We don't need this anymore, right?"
"No, that's fine," Kaede replied.
"Okay, cool. Now it's time for–" Sai went back around to fetch the bag from behind the vase. "This."
Kaede looked on curiously as Sai pulled the adjustable table over her legs. "I know you can't have soda, and i can't get anything alcoholic," she said, unloading a silver thermos from the bag, "but i brought some tea, and then–" She fetched the cardboard box from its corner on the floor and raised the lid.
Kaede clapped. "You brought a cake!"
"Angel food." Sai winked. "I couldn't get fancy cake toppers of us, but the store was able to put Blanche and Shirahime's faces on it."
"It's perfect." Kaede beamed.
Sai had also brought a knife, two forks, and two plates from home. She'd been a bit worried, but the plates had survived the trip. "Do you want to cut it, or should i?" she asked.
"We're supposed to do it together," Kaede told her. "Both our hands on the knife."
"Well, if that's the way we're supposed to do it . . ." Sai stood beside her and held out the knife, uncertain of how they should both hold it at once. Kaede curled Sai's fingers around the grip and laid her hand on top of Sai's. Together, they sliced into the cake and cut it into sections.
"What piece do you want?" Sai asked. She'd do the serving herself.
"Hmmm." Kaede tapped her chin, a playful note in her voice. "Give me Shirahime's forehead."
"As you wish." Sai levered that piece out, and chose Blanche's mouth for herself. Because she always loved Kaede's smile.
And then they sat there, in Kaede's hospital bed, eating wedding cake disguised as Angelic Layer cake. Sai's heart was full to bursting, and she couldn't look at Kaede without grinning so hard her face hurt. It was all perfect. She had everything she needed, right here.
Sai had forgotten. Why had she done this in the first place? To make Kaede happy, yes, but also because none of it mattered. Right now, this moment, was a happy one. She didn't need to live her future heartbreak over and over again. She could face that when it came. And until then, she was going to live how she liked.
She owed that to Kaede, and she owed it to herself, too.
A/N: Very skeptical of the concept of government-subsidized romance, but here am i writing a wedding story anyway. Marriage as it should be, i guess, just a promise between the people involved, without the government getting involved.
