(A/N: This idea hit me out of nowhere during that last round of "Super Mario Odyssey". I'm not really planning on adding any more to "Bowser's Been Had!", so what you will be reading is a collection of deleted scenes from that story, all of which take place after Daisy is left with Bowser. Here's one...)
(This scene takes place when Bowser sees 'Peach' wearing the Lochlady Dress, but not Tiara. Bowser is about to find out why 'Peach' won't wear Tiara.)
"This is my lucky crown. It always brings me good luck whenever I need it. I want my wedding day to be lucky. Don't you want me to be happy and feel lucky on this special day?" 'Peach' asked, giving Bowser puppy-dog eyes.
Bowser usually wouldn't fall for that, but he was glad that Peach seemed to be more up to marrying him this time around, so he said, "Okay, if you want to wear your lucky crown for the wedding, you can. I can't get married with my bride feeling unlucky. Besides, I shouldn't complain. I myself am wearing my lucky hat." Bowser said.
Daisy looked at the hat on Bowser's head, and she had to cover up a look of disgust. The hat, which was a nice, sparkling shade of white, had spikes all around the bottom, and a small, gold Bowser symbol. It looked rather ugly to Daisy, and despite her attempt to hide her disgust, Bowser caught it.
"What's the matter, Peach?" Bowser asked.
Daisy gasped silently. He'd caught the way she looked at his wedding hat. She'd have to think of a lie, and like the Grinch, she thought it up quick.
Tiara, realizing that Bowser had noticed Daisy's look of disgust, quickly turned into her tiara form and landed softly on the vanity table, nervous about what would happen next.
"I... I thought I saw something on your hat. Like a spot or something." 'Peach' replied.
"A spot? On my hat? Where is it?" Bowser asked.
"There! On the right side of the hat." 'Peach' said, pointing at the 'spot'.
Bowser took off the hat and looked at the area Peach was referring to. He didn't see anything unusual.
"Huh. I don't see a spot." Bowser mumbled, about to put the hat back on.
"Oops. My mistake. I get left and right mixed up sometimes. It was on the left side of your hat." 'Peach' said, looking a little sheepish.
"Okay..." said Bowser, and he checked out the left side of his hat. He saw nothing, and he said, "This is odd. I'm not seeing anything on my hat, Peach, yet you are."
"I know I was seeing something. Maybe I need to get a closer look." 'Peach' replied.
"Okay, tell you what, Peach: I'll give you the hat, and you can show me the spots you're seeing." Bowser said, handing the hat to Peach. Little did he know, he'd played right into her hands. Handing over his wedding hat was exactly what she wanted him to do!
"All right." said 'Peach'. She looked at the hat very carefully, and while looking at the front of the hat, she said, "Oh, look! There's a fly on it! Well, I can take care of him!"
There really wasn't a fly there. She only made that up so what she was about to do would seem like an accident.
Tiara allowed her eyes to appear in tiara form so she could see what Daisy was about to do.
Bowser was expecting Peach to simply swat the fly away, but what she did instead came as a big shock to him. He saw Peach punch the hat, hard! Now Bowser's wedding hat had a big, gaping hole in the front of it!
"Wha-?!" Bowser gasped as he realized what 'Peach' had just done to the hat.
Tiara watched from her place on the vanity table, and her first instinct was to burst out laughing because Bowser's jaw had dropped to the floor when he saw what happened. But the Bonneter held back her laughter. She never thought she'd see what looked like Peach making a big hole in Bowser's stupid wedding hat!
"Aw, dang it! I missed him! Oh, wait! There he is! Die, fly!" 'Peach' yelled as she looked at the right side of the hat. She punched the hat again, but she felt her fist hit something hard, and she found that this part of the hat had a little door that concealed something.
"What in the world...?" 'Peach' muttered as she found that this area of the hat concealed...
"Holy...! A boxing glove... attached to a metal arm?! Ugh! What kind of moron puts something like this in something they're going to wear on their head?!" 'Peach' exclaimed, ripping the object out of the hat without a thought!
"What are you doing?!" Bowser screamed, but he really sounded more like someone who was trying to talk after being punched in the stomach and having trouble getting their breath back.
"Not now, Bowser. I'm busy." 'Peach' replied, before checking the left side and finding... the exact same thing she found on the right side!
"Oh, come on, Bowser! Seriously?! What in the world were you thinking, wearing a hat with boxing gloves in it?! Do you have any idea how fruity that would make you look?!" 'Peach' asked, ripping the other metal arm out of the hat.
"For the sake of the Star Spirits, Peach, would you please stop doing that?!" Bowser yelled, clearly upset.
"Hey, I'm not marrying a guy who wears a hat with weapons inside of it! That's just stupid!" 'Peach' told him as she continued to look for and kill the 'fly', constantly punching one hole after another in the hat.
Bowser, meanwhile, looked like he was about to blow his stack. He never felt more upset in his life. This was supposed to be a happy day for him, but it was going downhill because Peach wasn't listening to him, and she was wrecking his precious wedding hat.
Finally, after punching a big hole in the top of the hat, 'Peach' said, "Okay! I finally got him! No more fly! Here's your hat back, Bowser."
'Peach' handed Bowser his now-ruined wedding hat... like it was no big deal!
Tiara got one look at the hat, as well as Bowser's shocked face, and she knew she couldn't do it anymore. It was just too much for her to handle now. She quickly turned back into a Bonneter and flew to the bathroom, where she allowed herself to laugh out loud after closing the door!
Bowser was shocked and angry with Peach as he looked at the damage done to his wedding hat. He never, in a million years, thought she would go as far as she just did. He found himself glaring at the princess for what she had done.
When 'Peach' saw Bowser glaring daggers at her, she said, "Oh, what's your problem, Bowser? You should be thanking me! If we have to go through security somewhere and the detector beeped when you went through, you wouldn't be allowed to wear that hat. I fixed it for you!"
"Fixed it? FIXED IT?! DOES THIS HAT LOOK FIXED TO YOU?!" Bowser screamed, about to breathe fire at Peach.
"Bowser, I'd watch what I'm doing if I were you! If you burn me and the wedding guests see the burns on my body, guess what they'll be doing?! They'll be telling on you, and we will not be getting married! I'll be going back home to the Mushroom Kingdom, and do you know where you'll be, because I can tell you the answer to that! You'll be on Death Row!" 'Peach' said.
Bowser didn't appreciate hearing that. He never heard anything like that from Mario before, but to hear it from Peach was just a bit much.
He looked at the crown Peach was wearing, and a malicious grin spread across his face. If Peach had the gall to ruin his wedding hat to make it so that he couldn't wear it for the wedding, then why should she get to wear her lucky crown for the wedding?
"You know, Peach, if I can't wear my hat, then you shouldn't be allowed to wear your lucky crown!" Bowser said, reaching out to remove the crown from Peach's head.
"Hey! You can't touch this!" 'Peach' yelled, her hands flying up to cover her head.
Then the song "U Can't Touch This" started to play as 'Peach' ran away from Bowser, hands over the crown on her head to protect it from Bowser (she was also trying to prevent it from falling off). Bowser chased after the princess, but whenever he got close to where she was standing, 'Peach' immediately ran to another corner of the room, narrowly escaping Bowser each time.
This went on for a while until Bowser ran out of breath, but 'Peach' was not getting tired at all. At that moment, the song had ended.
"How... can you... keep... going...?" Bowser asked the Princess as he leaned against the chair before the vanity table, gasping for air.
"Simple! I have wedding day jitters! That's why! Now why don't you do me a favor and stop acting like a baby?! Do you want my people to view their king as someone who acts no better than a one-year-old with a severe case of diaper rash?!" 'Peach' asked as she approached Bowser.
"No, ma'am!" Bowser said. That was a rather embarrassing thought.
"Well, if you want to be treated with respect like a real king, then grow up and get out of here!" 'Peach' said, booting Bowser out of the bride's chamber.
Bowser, seeing that arguing with Peach wasn't going to get him anywhere before the wedding, walked off. He also realized that he was going to have to try and fix his wedding hat himself, because there was no way he could replace it. That hat was one-of-a-kind! He went to his own chamber to fix his hat with white-out, scraps of cardboard, white Gorilla Glue, and clear tape.
After several hours of hard work, Bowser's hat looked a little better, but it didn't look the way it did before Peach went and wrecked it.
"This will have to do." Bowser sighed as he carefully placed the hat back on his head. Then the worst thing in the world happened: the hat fell apart, much to his complete disappointment.
Unbeknownst to the Koopa King, Daisy and Tiara (who had rejoined Daisy after recovering from her laughing fit) had been peeking in the room. When they saw what happened to Bowser's hat, they immediately hurried back to the bride's chamber, where they laughed themselves silly.
Bowser groaned and decided that he would have to make himself a new wedding hat. It was all he could do, now that his wedding hat was wrecked, courtesy of 'Peach' and a stupid fly (that never existed).
When the Broodals showed up to find out what the next item was on Bowser's list of wedding supplies, they stopped work long enough to help him make a new wedding hat out of papier-mâché. It looked a lot like the old hat, only it didn't have the mechanical arms with boxing gloves attached like that one, and it wasn't nearly as fancy, either. But it would work.
"Nice hat, Bowser." 'Peach' commented later on as she walked by and saw the Koopa King wearing his new wedding hat.
"You'd better not wreck this one, Peach." Bowser warned the princess.
"I won't. I promise." 'Peach' promised. And she didn't even try to touch it.
(End of scene)
So yeah, Bowser wasn't expecting Daisy to wreck his wedding hat like she did. If you liked this scene, then stay tuned, because there are more deleted scenes on the way!
