Chapter 1: …We Came In

Shinji woke up on a day seemingly like any other. Yet the aura in the air wasn't a pleasant one. It was a feeling that was all too familiar to him. Though when it was felt by others in his life, resulting in their own pain and isolation. It turned into a melting pot of hatred and sadness that bleed into his own life. And what's worse, he somewhat blamed himself for it all.

As Shinji got out of bed, got dressed and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, he took notice of how Misato was still locked up in her room. This time he got close to the door and eves dropped on what was happening inside. He couldn't hear everything, but it sounded like Misato was listening to a voice message. One that sounded like it was from Kaji. Who hadn't been at work or visiting the apartment in a while.

Soon, dark thoughts were appearing in the back of Shinji's mind. Thoughts that were confirmed when he heard Kaji say:

"Can you take care of my flowers for me? Shinji knows where they are."

Soon after that, Shinji could hear the sound of his caretaker crying. Tears for the man who she could never fully love again. The boy became frozen, not knowing exactly how to react. He didn't know Kaji all that well, but he knew how much he meant to Misato and Asuka. Something he thought that he might be able to become for them as well. Yet, with his death, something felt lost that could never be replaced.

Shinji didn't know what to do. He felt like things were never going to get any better. Asuka had become more distant after the battle with the last angel. Rei was her normal self, but never one he could really talk to. Misato had just lost someone she loved so dearly, she'd probably never look at Shinji the same way again. His father wasn't giving him any attention or respect. And the Angel war kept ragging, meaning he'd still have to pilot Unit-01.

These thoughts overwhelmed him, but he was used to it by now. Meaning it was quicker for him to come to conclusions. Though it didn't really matter, they were never good. This time, Shinji wanted to try and run away again. Ride the transit system until it stops and wander the outskirts of Tokyo-3. Just like last time.

Though maybe it would be different. Maybe he could finally escape his father's long gaze and disappear into the wilderness. Becoming a hermit and staying away from any form of human life. So that way, he could never bring indirect pain on himself or anyone else ever again. It was an awful idea that would probably end up with him dead in a couple of days. But it was the only one he had right now and he didn't want to listen to Misato crying anymore.

Quietly, he left the apartment. Yet, him opening and closing the door still caught Misato's attention. She came out of her room to look down the hall. She was going to cry out for Shinji to come back, but she knew better at this point. He'd come back, if not by choice then by force. So what was the point in chasing after him?

'Let him wonder.' she thought.


Shinji came to the same cliff side he had been to when he first ran away. The view was nice, but it didn't matter. It was a city that felt more like a prison than a home. Nothing really mattered there except survival. It was then that he was met with another awful idea that seemed tempting right about now. Why not jump?

End his pitiful existence right then and there. No one would really miss him. And they'd find another pilot for the EVA. Again, nothing really mattered. And without the need to survive, why bother going on? Shinji pondered this idea for a minute or two. Only to pop on his earbuds for his tape player that he brought along. Along with an album he bought at the music store recently. One from a famous band back in the 70s that even Misato really loved.

He tried to listen to the music, but it all kind of blended together for him. Just one giant wannabe rock opera that didn't even do a good job of distracting him from the cruel world. It felt like background music to the end of his life. Stuff that people would listen to without a passing thought, much like himself. Shinji breathed in and out, then began to take a few steps forward. He might as well get it over with.

Only he noticed something out of place. The day had gotten brighter. And a loud droning noise could be heard overhead. Shinji took out his earplugs to look up. To which he was met with the full awe inspiring size of the next angel. Hovering above him like a biblical angel's halo. It was at that moment, that Shinji knew that whatever he did now didn't matter. He wasn't going to leave here alive.


At NERV HQ, battlestations were being manned and orders were being given out left and right. Rei and Asuka were in their EVAs ready to take to the battlefield. Yet only one pilot looked like she wanted to be there. Asuka seemed like she was lost in a trance. Staring blankly at her screen and nodding vaguely to Misato's orders.

Rei on the other hand was nervous, but ready. They couldn't find where Shinji was, so it was up to her and her alone to defeat the Angel. As she knew that the second child didn't seem like she could fight anymore. Especially with how low her sync ratings were on her EVA. But then, right as she was about to be launched. Operator Ibuki alerted the entire command about a reading she picked up near the Angel.

"Hold on! It seems that there is one human still left in the general range of the angel."

The heads of command were only a bit annoyed at this revelation. They all knew full well that civilians were going to die in these types of battles. So one civilian out in the open was none of their concern. Especially since they just lost their best pilot.

"It doesn't matter, continue with the launch of-" Gendo said, only to be cut off by a bug eyed Maya.

"OH MY GOD!"

"What is it?" Ritsuko asked, running over to her computer.

"It's the civilian, he's standing right next to Angel. And not only that ... .it's Shinji!"

Everyone simultaneously shouted:

"WHAT!?"

Even the stone-faced Gendo Ikari stood up from his seat.

"Put it on the main screen!" he ordered.

Maya did so, and to his surprise she was right. Shinji was standing on the edge of the cliffside. Looking up at the Angel.

"Commander Katsuragi! It was your duty to keep an eye on our pilots!" Gendo said.

"I'm sorry sir, you know how Shinji can be sometimes." Misato responded, nervous for the boy's life.

"SEND ME OUT THERE!" they heard Asuka shout over the coms.

All of a sudden, her sync ratting had sky-rocketed. And she had the look of panic across her face. Same with Rei, who backed her up.

"Yes, quickly deploy us!" Rei said.

Yet, as they demanded to be deployed. The sounds of static and interference started to fill the coms. Shigeru and Makoto scrambled to fix it, but it seemed that the source was coming from an unknown source. The video feed remained on, however, and while the sounds of the NERV staff and EVA pilots were drowned out. The sound of a conversation was being had between two people.

Both were all too familiar to everyone.


"Why are you not running away?" An ethereal child-like voice asked. It almost sounded like Shinji himself.

Shinji didn't know what to say. To his knowledge, this was the first time anyone had been able to communicate with an angel.

"I…because either way. I'll die." Shinji eventually said.

"That is true, but at least you could prolong the inevitable. Hold on to the last few moments you have in this life."

"This life? What's so great about life?" Shinji asked.

"What do you mean?"

"This life is full of pain and suffering that never seems to end. It was as if I was born into a prison."

"A prison, you mean a place of captivity?" The angel asked.

"Yes."

"I see. Is that why you came to this place? If you were to fall from this great height off that cliff. You would most likely die."

"I guess."

There was a brief moment of silence. Shinji felt like walking backwards. At least with the cliff, he at least went out on his own terms.

"Do you feel like the only one of your kind?" the angel asked.

Shinji didn't know how to respond to the angel's question. There seemed to be many ways to answer it.

"I….don't know exactly. I know that others around me are suffering as well, but they are different in their own ways."

"Differences are like the colors in a certain pattern. They might appear different, but they all come from the same place. A white light or in this case, an origin that gets shaped into something different to suit the environment."

Shinji sort of understood what the angel meant. Though the idea wasn't entirely true.

"So that means if we're all from the same origin of life. Then why can't we all get along? Why do you try to kill us?"

"My intention is not to kill you. I wish to become one with my creator."

"You're…creator?"

"Yes, he came here alongside your creator. Together they laid dormant for many years. Until your kind disturbed my father. He let out a cry for help. One that I came to answer."

Shinji started to put the dots together.

"Wait….where did we disturb him? It didn't happen to be at the South Pole did it?"

"If you are referring to the polar ends of your Earth. Then yes, that is where he was discovered. As well as attacked. His presence resulted in your world changing. As well as the fifteen year process of my arrival."

Shinji's head started to hurt. He didn't know how to respond. Everything he learned about the second impact was a lie. As well as the possible morality of the angels. Along with where the creator of the angels might be, if they were constantly attacking Tokyo-3. Yet, another question came to mind. One that Shinji knew that he wouldn't like the answer too.

"What…happens if you become one with your creator?"

The angel was silent for a moment.

"I think you know just as well as I do. This world will change and the human race that once inhabited this planet. Will become one with us."

"How did you know that I already had the answer?" Shinji asked

"I can tell by the features on your body. You show a sense of defensiveness and experience. One that has been brought upon by constant fighting."

Shinji closed his eyes and looked down.

"I see. Then I guess you can tell what I am."

"Yes, you are my enemy. One who fights with the copies of your creator."

Shinji slightly laughed at that.

"Of course that's what they really are," he said.

The boy then breathed in and out. Then he turned around.

"Don't worry about killing me. I'll be out of your way in a few seconds."

"Wait a moment." the angel said. "What is your name?"

"It doesn't matter. I'll be dead soon." Shinji responded.

"Join me. Become one with me. I too feel like I am stuck in a place of captivity. Despite my kind coming to this planet. I am the only one who looks like this. Let us both become one and cease our eternal isolation."

Shinji didn't care. The thought was nice, but didn't wish to give up his human form. Though he didn't really have a say in the matter. So he put his earplugs back in.

"Do whatever you want," he said, facing the horizon.

Away from the angel that was not untangling itself and forming into a straight line. It flipped backwards and then towards the ground. Where it quickly made its way towards Shinji. Eviscerating the trees and ground around it out of existence.

Shinji closed his eyes again. And listened to the music playing. Where the last words he heard were.

"Isn't this where…"


Everyone watched in horror as Shinji was absorbed by the angel. Soon after that, the angel went back to its original form. Leaving a scar on the landscape in its wake. While everyone at the Central Dogma remained silent. They could hear heavy breathing over the coms again. Along with crying and growling.

Misato checked the coms and saw Asuka in an agitated state. Then the sync ratings started setting off alarms. Asuka was getting close to hitting a hundred percent.

"Asuka! Calm down! You're pushing the limits of your EVA!" Misato warned.

Though Asuka couldn't hear her. For all she saw was red.

"Launch me." she demanded.

"Asuka, if you don't lower your sync ratting. We can't in good faith-" Ritsuko said, only to interrupted.

"LAUNCH ME YOU BITCHES!"

Misato and Ritsuko were about to hit the emergency override button. Only for them to notice something on the feed of the angel.


Lightning began to shoot out of the angel's body. It started to twist around in the air. Eventually coming apart like before and even making low drone noises. That soon turned into ungodly screams. The angel's body whipped around and reshaped the landscape. Though when it tried to hit the city, it was always redirected or stopped. Then the angel started to glow. And an AT field started to form around it.

"Stop!" the ethereal Shinji-like voice screamed.

"No! Let me go! Or I'll kill us both!"

Both voices sounded the same. And were accompanied by a face growing out of one of the ends of the angel. Soon followed by the upper torso. It resembled Shinji and even expressed the feelings of pain. He clawed at his skin and glowed even brighter. After a few more lightning strikes and body distortion.

The angel disappeared out of existence after a massive flash of light.


This again left the entire NERV HQ in silence. Only for it to be broken by the EVA pilots.

"No." they both said weakly.

After that, it was the same old clean up procedure. Thankfully, the angel didn't hit any major landmarks. Though, the feeling in the air was just as grim. And all it took was the loss of one single boy. A boy who sacrificed himself so that everyone could be safe.

This hit everyone pretty hard. Gendo was even more non-commutative than ever. Only giving direct orders to his lackeys over the phone and remaining inside his office. Not even allowing Kozo or Ritsuko inside. Who both knew just how devastating this was and how the scenario they had planned for years. Was seemingly thrown out the window.

At least they had Makoto, Shigeru and Maya to talk with. As for the Pilots and Misato, they didn't even say a word to anyone. Rei and Asuka both had a look of horror and sadness on their faces from what they had witnessed. And despite being given permission to leave, Asuka followed Misato as she coordinated the clean up effort in the hills. Rei simply went back to her home in the slums. Trying to process the feelings that she was having right now.

Misato was in a similar state to Gendo. Giving orders and simply remaining silent. Though she felt even worse with Asuka by her side. Together the two had many moments of silence that they tried to break. Though it only ended in them just giving each other sympathetic looks.

But eventually, Asuka spoke up.

"In a single week. We both let two men in our lives die."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Asuka. If anything, I'm the one who should be blamed. I let both of them wander. Allowed them to be alone when they needed companionship the most." Misato said, on the verge of crying.

Asuka started laughing, catching Misato off guard.

"Look at you. You're just as pathetic as everyone else here. Lonely and full of self pity. Can anyone properly run this damn organization!?" Asuka said.

Misato remained silent. This only drove Asuka insane. She grabbed a nearby stick and threw it at Misato.

"Stop it, Asuka!"

"Why!? You're not my mother! And the fact that I even considered you my caretaker was a mistake! Why didn't I just live on my own!? Then I could've had a chance with…."

Asuka broke down crying. Realizing that she had every chance to be truthful with Shinji. Yet she never properly took it.

"I'm sorry you felt that way about him, Asuka. I really am. I wish I had the answers for how to move forward. Though it seems like nothing is properly answered here in this world. Not even what's going to happen to me later. I let Shinji die, why hasn't his father at the very least demoted me? At least it would be less humiliating."

"You deserve it you bitch." Asuka growled. "You all deserve to be humiliated! Strung out for the crows, just like me and Shinji."

Asuka got up and slapped Misato. Her caretaker simply took it. Not even knowing how to talk to her anymore.

"We're all going to die! There is one angel left! But he might as well have already declared victory! Because we're so god damn USELESS!"

Her scream could be heard for kilometers. It seemed to stop all the NERV employees in their tracks. With everyone looking at Asuka. She took the moment to look at all of them with the same eyes she would always give Shinji. Though it didn't work on any of them. Because they already understood her pain on the surface level. Asuka's will broke and simply looked down at the ground.

"And I'm the most useless one of all." Asuka said, crying. "If only…..if….."

A spark then shot off in the air. Catching everyone's attention. Misato then stood in front of Asuka. Which the girl did not take kindly to. Pushing her caretaker out of the way so she could see what was going on. Though it seemed like just a freak occurrence.

Then, over every com and speaker across the city. A song began to play. It started with a simple soft acoustic guitar. Only to be followed with lyrics that sounded like they were being sung by Shinji.

"If I were a swan, Id be gone.

If I were a train, I'd be late.

And if I were a good man.

I'd talk with you more often then I do."

A brief instrumental gave Ritsuko and Maya the chance to check their monitors. Only for them to be distracted by the lyrics again. Before they could tell everyone what they saw.

"If I were asleep, I could dream.

If I were afraid, I could hide.

If I go insane.

Please don't put your wires in my brains."

The sound of a drill could be heard. And in the air surrounding Tokyo-3. Colors started to charge and spark. But that wasn't the end of it. Soon a guitar solo started playing and the colors converged to resemble not only said guitar. But also a pair of hands playing them. Which connected to something bigger. That slowly began to form and appeared to be sitting on one of the buildings.

"If I were the moon, I'd be cool.

If I were a rule, I would bend.

If I were a good man.

I'd understand the spaces between friends."

As the being playing the guitar made of colorful light took form. It became clear who it was, and his voice could be heard from Rei's apartment to Gendo's office. Shinji had a somber look on his face, like he always did. He didn't even look up to view the people surrounding him. He only focused on the instrument in his see through hands.

"If I were alone, I would cry.

And if I were with you, I'd be home and dry.

And if I go insane.

Will you still let me join in with the game?"

The other instruments were represented by colorful shapes in the sky. Floating and accompanying his sad guitar.

"If I were a swan, I'd be gone.

If I were a train, I'd be late again.

If I were a good man.

I'd talk with you more often than I do."

Then, as abruptly as it started. The song ended and Shinji faded away. Leaving everyone speechless and looking at the sky.

Asuka fell to her knees. And then slightly smiled. Perhaps there is a little bit of hope after all.


Floating in a void outside the spaces of time. Were two companions now stuck with each other. The angel Armisael, hovering and lighting up the darkness around him. And Shinji Ikari, who was now just figuring out how lawless this land was. And how it gave him the abilities he never knew.

"Have you finally come to your senses? Or are you going to sit there and play your guitar all day?" the angel asked him.

Shinji didn't bother responding at first. He simply stood up and started walking. Dragging his guitar on the infinite black ground the void.

"If we got out, I'd be stronger thanks to this place. And I'll make sure you suffer when I break free." the angel said, following him.

Shinji kept walking, looking around and listening to a band he now loved more than anything. Of course, it didn't play in the open for Armisael to hear. It played inside his head.

"I was a fool to think that becoming one with you was a smart decision. You care too much for the people that don't care for you."

Shinji smirked and looked up at Armisael.

"What happened to the lonely angel from before? Or were you always like this?" he asked.

"I was willing to live with you, Shinji. And instead, you make me feel pain I never thought possible. Surely you felt it too when we blinked out of existence. I'll make sure I give other humans a chance, but not you. You are going to suffer here with me."

Shinji simply looked away and started walking again. Then in front of him stood Asuka. This caught him off guard. If only for a minute, before he knew what was up. As she reached out to touch him. He knocked her away with his mind.

"Don't think that you're the only one who is listening to Pink Floyd. I said I was going to make you suffer." Armisael said.

In the distance, Shinji could see Asuka start to contort and mutate into something horrifying. Though Shinji wasn't phased by it. He knew better and could beat this thing. All he needed was to get a hold of his new powers.

Armisael then impaled Shinji to the ground. Keeping him alive by regrowing his insides, but keeping him barely alive in the process. As the boy tried to break free, the mutated version of Asuka came over and licked him with a snake's tongue.

"I love you, Shinji. Let's have some fun." she said in a distorted voice.

Shinji simply spit blood in her face.

"Is that the best you can do? I've already had nightmares about this." he said.

Armisael then started laughing.

"Then I'll think of something more gruesome."

Shinji was then ripped in half and put back together. He tried to run, but was swallowed by mutant Asuka. Only to be spit out in a bloody mess. Then, when she went to do it again. Shinji reformed himself and chopped her in half with his mind. He then looked up to Armisael and laughed.

"You know," Shinji then held up the album he had on him. "This album just gave me a great idea, but first. Let's see just how badly we can torture each other. If anything, it'll give me some new ideas."

Shinji's laughter could be heard for kilometers, but no one was there to hear it, except for him and Armisael.


Author's Note: Okay, one down. I don't even know how many to go. Though I did enjoy writing that one. I hope you all liked it too.