SI fic where they thought they landed in canon but certain events and characters appeared. turns out they landed in a fanfiction fic they wrote/read?
John stumbled when his feet caught something. There was a moment of disorientation, but when he looked up, he saw it. It had to be the Hogwarts Express, there was no doubt in his mind.
"Is this really happening?" he said to himself, excitement filling him up. "Get out of the way, Ronniekins," a voice behind him said.
It was the Weasley twins and they were looking at him.
"What?" John said.
"We said."
"Get."
"Out."
"Of."
"The."
"Way."
John quickly looked at his patchy, hand-me-down robes and pulled at his hair until he could see the mess of orange on his head.
He was Ron.
"Fuck."
Being Ron wasn't so bad, he thought to himself. He still ends up marrying Emma Watson, I mean Hermione Granger. He thought he could see her at the other end of the platform. But wasn't she meant to be cute? Her buck teeth were visible from here and had no one ever introduced the eleven-year-old to a hairbrush? Nevermind that now, better get on the train and make friends with Potter.
"Do you mind if I join you? Everywhere else is... What are you wearing?"
Harry Potter, and it could only have been him, looked at John with an expression of utmost loathing. His hair was perfectly styled and cared for and his glasses flashed a dozen different colours which John assumed was something magical. His robes were finely cut and the deepest black, even from the door, John could sense the heavy magical presence in them.
"Firstly," Harry replied in a rich, aristocratic tone. "These are imported French Acromantula silk robes and secondly, you should address me as 'Heir Potter', Ron of the clan Weasley."
Oh fuck... OH FUCK! This isn't just some fanfiction, this is MY fanfiction.
"I've got to go!"
John slammed and locked the door to the toilet behind him, wrenched open his trunk and began dumping the dozens of potions inside down the toilet.
O God, watch over your servant John, save him from the terrible decisions he made in his youth. I don't deserve the fate that awaits the Ron Weasley of the world I made. Nobody deserves that fate!
The potions dealt with, he started throwing textbooks out of the window.
How to charm your friends.
Beguiling witches in three easy steps (with potion recipes included).
A beginners guide to assuming control of an ancient and noble house.
There wasn't much left in his trunk after he had disposed of all the illegal and incriminating things, but it should keep him safe for a little while longer.
Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw! Just keep me away from Harry Potter!
"Hmmm, better be... HUFFLEPUFF!
John looked up and down the Hufflepuff table. His first few days had been... okay. He kept almost running into Harry at various moments and twice he had stumbled into Hermione and accidentally touched her in embarrassing places, but he had apologised profusely each time and run in the other direction. If he kept his head down, he should be able to finish the first five years at Hogwarts then leave the school with some OWLs.
Speaking of, an owl landed in front of him and deposited a smoking red envelope.
Uh oh.
"RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU BE SORTED INTO HUFFLEPUFF?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS I HAVE PLOTTED TO GET YOU TO BE FRIENDS WITH HARRY POTTER (heir apparent of the most noble and ancient house of Potter)!? YOU BETTER HAVE SLIPPED HIM ALL THE POTIONS I GAVE YOU AND PRACTISED YOUR MIND MAGIC CHARMS! DON'T FORGET THE SECRET COMPARTMENT AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR TRUNK!
Oh, I actually did forget about that.
"Why did I write her to be so stupid?" John said to no one in particular. He could see Harry glaring at him furiously and a pair of Aurors rushing forward to arrest him.
"Curse the man who made this stupid world!" John cried to the heavens, as he was led away in magic-absorbing manacles
