Grissom looked at me as I sadly looked at him then walked away. My heart was breaking after he said he didn't know what to do about this. I felt tears fall down my cheeks. All I wanted was to disappear forever. I didn't notice that Grissom was following me out of the building. He watched me shuffle out slowly with my head down. I went to my car getting in then I held my head sniffing.
A knock on my window made me jump seeing Grissom. He motioned me to lower my window, but I shook my head. He tried my door then he motioned me again. I sighed unlocking the door allowing him to open it. He stood there in silence as I sat ashamed of my behavior. His hand covered mine on my leg. I sniffed looking down.
"Don't." I said
"Sara, I want to help you." He said "You're going through something."
I lifted my head looking at him as he searched my eyes.
"You don't know what to do about me! I know what to do about me!" I shouted, then crying more.
"Sara." He said, quietly.
"Leave me alone!" I shouted, closing my door as he moved back at the last minute.
I tore out of the parking lot speeding on the street wiping my eyes. I parked outside my apartment building looking at it. I put my head on the steering wheel sobbing. The door opened and I was pulled out. I was carried into my apartment and laid on the couch. I rolled over facing the couch crying as someone rubbed my back.
Later, I moved feeling comfortable and warm. A hand moved on my arm back and forth. My sleepy mind didn't think anything about it as I snuggled against a warm body. Grissom held me on my couch looking at the ceiling feeling me move again.
He looked at me as I rested my head against his chest. His phone rang and he quickly got it off the coffee table. He sat up putting the phone to his ear.
"Grissom." He said, getting up.
I woke as he answered shocked to see him in my place. He turned looking at me as he listened to the person talk. I sat up looking around.
"Ok Jim, I'll be there in an hour." He said, before hanging up. "Hey."
"What are you doing here?" I asked
"I stayed with you. I was worried." He said "How do you feel?"
I moved my hand to my messed hair. I stood looking down then at him.
"You should go, and I need to get ready for work."
"I think you need to stay home." He said
"I'm fine!" I snapped
Grissom just silently looked at me.
"Let me do my job!" I said
He watched me walk past him to my bedroom door.
"Sara?" He said
"What?" I asked, not facing him.
He came closer sighing.
"You're on leave until I say. Use it to rest and travel."
I looked down shaking.
"Did you hear me?" He asked
I closed my eyes shaking more. Grissom reached over touching my arm. I moved my arm away opening the door going in shutting it quickly. I laid on the bed crying not caring if he heard me or not.
I went to sleep not hearing the front door opening and shutting hours later. Grissom walked into the kitchen putting down the Chinese takeout bags.
"Sara?" He called
He went to the bedroom door knocking then he opened it seeing me in the dim light on the bed. He turned on the lamp on the bedside table before sitting down on the bed looking at me.
I felt a hand shaking my arm then a voice.
"Sara?" Grissom called "Sara, wake up!"
I wanted to sink into black hole and stay there. Grissom shook me harder, and I moved opening my eyes seeing the light on then I looked at Grissom.
"I brought you some food." He said
I moved not facing him.
"Sara, you need to eat something." He said
"Go away!" I said, moving farther away from him.
He looked at my back then down at his hands in his lap.
"Sara, can I tell you something?" He asked
I never answered causing him to look over at me.
"When I said I didn't know what to do about this I was telling you the truth." He said "I don't know what to do. I care about you, but I have a job to do."
I swallowed looking at the wall infront of me.
"You have a job. If we even had a relationship our jobs would be in jeopardy."
He was quiet for a few minutes looking at my back waiting for some kind of response. When none came, he stood up.
"I brought take out. When you're ready come out and have some." He said
I closed my eyes as he left the room. The TV came on in the next room. I sat up slowly then I stood going to the bathroom shutting the door.
"Sara?" Grissom called, knocked five minutes later. He opened the door not seeing me then he looked at the bathroom door. "Sara?"
I jumped as he opened the door seeing me holding a cup with water and some pills in my left hand.
"Sara, what are you doing?"
I looked down at the pills in my hand then at him.
"I had a headache." I said
"Give them to me." He said
I slowly handed them to him, and he looked at the pills. He handed them back to me leaving. When I came out dressed in pajamas, he was sitting on the couch with the takeout on the coffee table holding his head. I walked over sitting down next to him gently touching his knee. He moved looking at me. Without a word he pulled me against him kissing me. I was in shock as he cradled me like a child against his chest kissing me with passion.
He finally moved back looking at me. I moved sitting up kissing him. He pushed me back against the couch. I kept my eyes closed as his lips pressed against my neck. He stopped and I opened my eyes watching him get up breathing hard.
"No, I can't do this!" He said
"Grissom!" I said, as he ran out slamming the door.
I stood by the couch looking in shock at the door.
He never called or visited after that. The following week we were very busy. Grissom and I hardly spoke.
Nick and I went on a scene at a house. A few hours later Grissom was walking down the hallway after a meeting when his cell phone rang.
"Grissom." He answered
"Gil, I am at Nick and Sara's scene! There was an accident!" Brass said
Grissom froze in the hallway.
"What accident?" He asked
"Nick was attacked, and we can't find Sara!"
Grissom held his breath feeling his heart thumping fast.
"I'll be right there!"
He hung up walking fast to his office.
I woke in the back of a car. The car was in motion as a loud radio was playing country music in the front. I blinked raising my head seeing a man sitting in the front driving. My head was hurting from being hit by something. I laid back down wondering where the man was taking me. He hadn't taken my cell phone, which was in my pocket of my jeans, but my gun was gone. I took my phone putting it on mute hiding it when it lit up. I texted Grissom.
GRISSOM, ARE YOU THERE? SARA
I listened as the man sang to the song glancing back at me. I closed my eyes hiding my phone. He seemed satisfied turning back to the road. I pulled out my cell phone looking at it.
YOU OKAY?
I THINK SO. I AM IN THE BACK OF THIS MANS CAR.
WE ARE GOING TO TRACK YOUR PHONE SO KEEP IT ON.
OK. GRIS, KEEP TALKING TO ME.
He didn't answer back so I put my phone back into my bra. I prayed he would find me. I dozed off dreaming of Grissom when I was grabbed and thrown onto dry hot sand. I turned winching seeing the man standing over me. I lifted my hand to block the sun.
"What are you going to do?" I asked
"Well, I am going to kill you and bury you out here." He said
I trembled as I heard a gun being cocked. He pointed it at me, and I tried to think of a way out of this. The shot came without warning. I felt pain in my shoulder before passing out. I woke moving my head realizing I am in a box. The man was standing above the hole. He started to shovel something and throw it at me. I screamed in pain realizing it was salt hitting my wound. He put some more salt inside, and I screamed again passing out. He put the lid on the box covering it with sand.
My phone was vibrating in my bra making me wake feeling sick. The box was so small that my claustrophobia was in overdrive. I could not get my phone.
Grissom looked at his watch as he drove behind Brass down the road the next night. Brass turned to the right stopping getting out running. Grissom parked beside his car getting a shovel making his way to were Brass was.
"This is it!" Brass yelled
The team went to work using shovel to dig.
"Sara!" Grissom called
They hit something hard and continued to dig. Grissom got a crowbar and climbed down trying to loosen the lid. Warrick helped at the other end. A loud creak and a pop made them jump.
"Sara!" Grissom yelled, as he opened the lid seeing me lying still with blood on my clothing. He knelt down touching my neck. "She's alive!"
He and Warrick lifted me out of the box. The paramedics took over placing me into the ambulance. Grissom gave his keys to Nick as he climbed into the ambulance.
"How is she?" He asked
"Not good." The man said, sitting beside him working.
Grissom touched my blanket covered leg. Once at the hospital I was taken into surgery. Grissom waited nervously. The doctor led him into the room I was in leaving us alone. I opened my eyes seeing him.
"Hey." He said "The doctor said you are going to be fine."
I felt myself break down as I hid my face with my hand. Grissom touched my hair moving his hand through it.
"It's okay." He said
I felt safe with Grissom and loved as he comforted me. He climbed onto the bed settling down next to me. He turned the light off.
"No…. Noo!" I screamed, struggling.
He turned the light back on holding me as I shook.
"I'm sorry." He said
I breathed in and out fast. He sighed looking at the heart monitor beside the bed beeping fast. I calmed down falling asleep. He stayed awake thinking.
He closed his eyes laying his head on mine drifting after an hour. I moved later having a nightmare about being in the box. Grissom jumped awake as I screamed. The nurse ran in running to the side of the bed trying to sooth me
Grissom got off the bed watching me struggle.
"Sara, calm down!" Grissom said
My arm was aching as I moved it.
"You're going to have to calm down, or I will have to give you a sedative!" The nurse shouted
"I am her emergency contact. I think a sedative is a good idea." Grissom said
The nurse nodded running out. Grissom tried to stop me from moving, but I got more upset. The on-call doctor came in with the nurse. Grissom moved away so they could work. I cried when the doctor put the needle into my arm. The nurse held my uninjured arm.
"She should sleep for a while. Why don't you go home?" The doctor said, looking over at Grissom.
Grissom nodded watching me calm down. I moved my head as the doctor and nurse walked out. I sniffed feeling numb.
"Honey, I have to leave." He said, before leaning down kissing my head.
He watched me go to sleep. Then he left.
Grissom came to work early the next shift to catch up on paperwork. He sat back in his chair thinking as Catherine came in with a file placing it on his desk.
"You okay?" She asked
"Yes."
She walked around his desk leaning on it looking at him.
"Gil, I can tell something is wrong?"
He sighed looking at his paperwork.
"The problem is…. I love Sara." He said "Part of me is confused and uncomfortable. The other part is feels nothing but love for her."
"Gil, you need to let yourself go." Catherine said "You deserve to be happy."
He sighed playing with a pen that was lying on the desk.
"What is wrong with showing that you care?" Catherine asked
"I have to think about my career."
Catherine shook her head looking down.
"Then you will never be happy."
Grissom watched her walk to the door looking at him then leaving. He looked at the pen he was holding. He opened the door to my room after work seeing I was still sleeping. Quietly, he walked over looking at me. The door opened as a nurse came in seeing Grissom.
"How is she doing?" Grissom asked
"Great, she's been sleeping since you left." She said, checking the IV. "Her stitches look good."
Grissom nodded watching the woman.
"The doctor said she is recovering at a fast rate." She said
"She usually does." Grissom said
"I'll be back later."
"Ok."
The nurse ran out as Grissom sat in the chair next to the bed.
"Sara, I don't know if you can hear me, but I need to talk to you. I have thought about this along time and…. the truth is I do love you. I selfishly thought about my career and how this would affect my life. I realize that I need to just let things happen and not worry about the future. You are my future." He said
I breathed slowly as he sighed watching me.
The next day I slowly woke feeling dazed. People were talking to me, but I couldn't understand them.
The doctor told Grissom that I could be out of the hospital sooner than he thought. I went home the following Monday. Grissom put down my bag at the door closing it watching me walk around the apartment.
"You okay?" He asked, walking over to me.
"I was just…. looking around thinking." I said, facing him.
He nodded searching my eyes.
"Do you want something to eat?" He asked
I took a chance taking a step forwards kissing him. Letting my good arm go to his neck. He kissed me back putting his arms on my waist. He was careful not to touch my wounded arm. I moved away only to have him move catching my lips.
He moved away slowly taking a breath opening his eyes looking at me. I put my arm down at my side as he moved his hands to my cheeks.
"Sara, will you allow me to start over and date you?"
I swallowed feeling my heart beat faster.
"Yes." I said
He smoothed his thumbs over my cheeks.
Grissom made me eat then he stayed over lying beside me in bed. I felt his arm come around my waist to my stomach as he moved closer. I moved drifting then the nightmare started, and I was back in that box. Grissom jumped awake as I screamed sitting up winching at the pain in my arm. He held me as I cried.
"Turn on the light!" I screamed
He turned on the lamp on his side then he held me again. I breathed in and out fast sweating. He brought some water and I drank it giving him the empty glass. After that I didn't sleep. Grissom went to his home and then went to work.
He came back after the shift was over carrying a bag of things from his place. I was sitting on my couch watching the news pale and exhausted. He sat down beside me turning off the TV.
"Did you sleep yet?"
"I can't." I said
"Hungry?"
"Yes."
He nodded standing going to the kitchen. I laid my head back closing my eyes. I started to dream. I was in the trunk of a car. Jumping awake I heard Grissom humming in the kitchen. I stood throwing up beside the couch. I was gagging when Grissom came out seeing me. I wiped my mouth with my hand shaking getting down on the floor as I crawled to the corner of the room crying. Grissom quickly knelt down to me touching my shaking knee.
"Sara." He said
"No…. please…. don't touch me!" I cried
"Your safe here." He said, moving his hand back.
I rocked back and forth as he stood worried about me. He cleaned up the spot I threw up on. I held my head with my hand as my head pounded.
He knelt down again patiently waiting.
"What can I do?" He asked
"My head…is pounding!" I cried
He came closer putting his arm around me as I passed out going limp. I started to come around feeling a cold cloth on my head. Grissom moved the cloth around my face as I moved. I opened my eyes seeing I was not in my apartment. He took the cloth away watching me get my bearings.
"Where…are we?" I asked
"My house." He said
I swallowed closing my eyes then opening them looking at him.
"Grissom, I am sorry about this."
"What?"
"You are taking care of me and being a burden."
"Sara, I am taking care of you because I want to." He said "I love you."
I touched his hand.
Grissom held me in his bed later. I had calmed down and eaten something. He closed his eyes as he continued to play with my soft hair. I moved against his chest stilling.
He sighed opening his eyes again looking up at the ceiling. I moved raising my head blinking looking around.
"Am I still here?" I asked
"Yes." He said
I laid my head back down.
"Are you going to sleep?" I asked
"I might." He said
He listened to my slow breathing.
The next shift he met Catherine before a meeting.
"So, did you talk to Sara?" She asked, as they walked down the hallway.
"I did."
"What happened?"
Grissom sighed looking ahead.
"It went well."
"How is she doing mentally?" Catherine asked
"Not good."
"Give her time."
I waited for Grissom to come to my place later. I was nervous being there alone. I knew I was safe, but my mind kept telling me I was not.
The doorbell went off and I jumped walking over to the door looking through the peephole. I opened the door throwing my arm around him. He pushed me inside closing the door behind him. He kissed my head feeling me relax.
"How's your arm?" He asked
"Fine." I said
"Are you hungry?"
"Yes."
"I can get us take out." He said, searching my face.
"Ok." I said
He got his phone out and called for takeout. I pulled him to the couch after putting my head against his chest. He looked down at me rubbing my back.
"Your shaking." He said
"I am scared."
"Nothing is going to happen." He said
"I know, but I am still scared."
He kissed my head. I closed my eyes ignoring the pain that I felt in my arm. Grissom woke on the couch later seeing that I was walking around nervously. He watched in silence as I went past him to the back windows then I walked past to the kitchen. He got up entering the kitchen seeing that I was sitting on the floor drinking a from a bottle. I swallowed some winching as I looked over seeing him.
He sighed sliding down beside me taking the bottle from my hands looking at the label. I looked at him a moment then I looked down.
He looked at my profile.
"What am I going to do?" He asked
"I…I don't know." I said
"You hardly eat, you live in fear. You don't sleep, and now you are drinking." He said, setting the bottle on his left side on the floor.
"If you want to end this I understand." I said
He knelt down touching my tear stained cheek.
"Honey, I am not leaving you. I think talking to a counselor is a good idea."
I looked at him searching his eyes. He watched me nod then I looked down. The next day Grissom found a counselor and I was taken there. I came into the lab later looking around for Grissom. He came around the corner seeing me walking over.
"Hey, how did it go?" he asked
"Fine." I said, looking unhappy.
He touched my arm motioning me to his office. We went in and I hugged him. He hugged me back closing his eyes.
"You okay?" He asked
"I am now." I said
He moved back touching my cheek with his hand.
"You will be."
I nodded giving him a small smile.
As the days went by, I spent my time at Grissom's house sleeping and eating and one day he asked me to move into his house. I couldn't say no.
I started to pack my things and moving them over to his house. He cleared space for my belongings.
I yawned after a hard shift in the lab. Grissom was walking out talking on his phone. He turned seeing me coming and he walked outside holding the door for me. As we went out an explosion hit us knocking us back. A huge fireball erupted from a large truck parked outside close to the building.
I slowly opened my eyes seeing a white ceiling.
"Sara?" A voice called
I blinked moved my head seeing Catherine looking down at me.
"Thank goodness. We thought you would never wake up."
I licked my lips opening my mouth to speak.
"What…happened?" I asked
She got a cup of water from somewhere lifting my head to drink. I closed my eyes feeling the cold liquid go down my throat. I choked a little and she lowered my head.
"A bomb outside of the building went off." She said "You were thrown back inside."
"Bomb?" I asked
"Yes, it was really bad. The building had a large hole in the front, but they are fixing it."
"Where….is Grissom?"
She sighed sadly. I swallowed looking at her.
"Sara, when the blast…..he died."
I made a noise looking around then at her.
"No." I said
"I am sorry." She said
I started to breathe fast as she tried to hold me.
"I am so sorry."
Tears formed as I reached for her crying.
I suddenly woke up covered in sweat breathing fast as I sat up. Someone sat on the bed touching my cheek.
"It was a nightmare."
"Grissom?" I said, in a shaky voice.
"It's okay." He said
I leaned forwards hugging him against me. His arms went around me. I closed my eyes feeling his warm breath hit my neck.
"You had a high fever, and we were worried." He said, pulling me away.
I moved closer kissing him. He kissed me back with his right hand on my neck. I moved back looking at him. He was gone. I looked around realizing that I was imagining him there.
I learned that I had been in a coma for a few months and Grissom had been buried long before I woke up. I was allowed out after a week since waking. Catherine drove me to Grissom's house. We walked inside seeing that his things were still there.
"Grissom's mother died last year, and he didn't have any other relatives. He named you to have everything." Catherine said
I looked around walking to the living room.
"What will you do?" She asked
"I don't know." I said, sitting on the large brown couch on the right of the room.
"I can help you box things up." Catherine said
"It feels like he's in the room." I said, looking around.
She nodded.
"Well come back when you can. We miss you." Catherine said, standing.
"I will." I said
She left and I just stood by the door sad. That night I laid in our bed looking at his side of the bed running my hand over the space.
The front door closed, and I sat up.
"Sara?"
I got out of bed walking slowly to the door.
"Sara?"
"Grissom?" I called, running out seeing Brass in work clothes.
"Hey, I came to check on you." He said
"I'm fine." I said
He stood silently a moment watching me shiver as I held myself. He came closer putting his arms around me. I tensely leaned against him.
"Gil made me promise to look after you." He said "He was a good man."
I nodded gently laying my head against his shoulder. He moved back rubbing my cold arms.
"I want you to call me if you need anything."
I nodded looking down. He nodded sighing letting me go to leave. I wanted him to stay, but I let him go.
I came back to work a week later seeing all the sad faces of my coworkers. The work on the building continued and I was lost. A new man took over Grissom's position and everyone just accepted it.
D.B. Russell walked down the hallway with Catherine talking. I came out of trace seeing them and I walked over handing him the results. He looked them over handing it back to me smiling nodding.
"Good job." He said
I nodded walking past. He turned watching me go.
"She's not getting any better." Catherine said
"Grissom was the love of her life. You never get over it." Russell said
"I am worried about her."
"You're not alone." He said
I walked out of the locker room alone making sure I had everything. Brass walked over whistling.
"Hey!" He said, stopping me.
"Hey."
"Come have dinner with me."
I thought about nodding. He smiled taking my arm leading me to the front door of the lab. We went to the diner up the street sitting in a booth. Brass pulled me against him as his arm went around my shoulders.
"How are things going?" He asked
"Okay." I said, looking out the window to the right of him.
"Just okay?"
I nodded sighing.
"You look really tired." He said, watching the waitress set down two cups of coffee on the table.
"No more than usual." I said, looking at the cup of coffee infront of me.
I yawned making him smile.
"I am really happy that you are here." He said "I would have to eat alone."
I smiled a little leaning back against him. He sipped his coffee looking outside. My head slumped down onto his chest. He set his cup down leaning his head forward to look at me then he sat back looking outside.
Russell walked inside five minutes later walking down the aisle till he spotted Brass and I.
"You made it!" Brass said
"Sorry I am late." Russell said, sliding in across from Brass.
"We didn't order yet." Brass said, glancing at me then at Russell.
Russell nodded looking at me then at the menu. They ordered then sat back quietly.
"You were Gil's best friend?" Russell asked
"Yes, we were close."
"I met him once at the convention. He was so knowledgeable about forensics and insects."
"He was a good man." Brass said
"I was looking through old cases." Russell said "He was very meticulous."
"I think he was born to be what he was."
Russell nodded taking the cup of coffee given to him.
I moved my head up opening my eyes seeing Russell drinking coffee looking at me.
"Hi Sara."
I blinked looking around then I moved away from Brass.
"How long was I out?"
"Not long." Brass said
I cleared my throat seeing a grilled cheese with a salad appear infront of me.
"I didn't order this." I said
"I did, Sara." Brass said "I always made my daughter a grilled cheese when she was sad. It always cheered her up."
I looked back at the sandwich then at Russell. They began to eat their food. I slowly lifted half it and took a bite. The cheese was melted perfectly, and I did feel better.
After getting home I laid in bed looking at a picture of Grissom and I in Costa Rica smiling at the camera. I moved my thumb over his face sighing. I set the picture down looking around the bedroom. I got out going to his closet opening the door seeing his clothes still neatly hung on hangers. I sat on the floor reaching in getting some show boxes on the far corner opening them seeing black dress shoes. The next one I opened had letters inside. I looked at them seeing some old love letters to some girl he knew in high school to letters from his dad.
The next day Brass and Catherine walked up to the front door knocking. When I didn't answer they got the spare key unlocking the door.
"Sara, it's Catherine." Catherine said "You didn't answer and we were worried."
"Sara?" Brass called
They walked around not seeing me. Catherine walked to the bedroom door looking over at Brass before slowly opening it.
"Sara?" She called
They came in seeing the picture on the bed with myside messed up.
"Where is she?" Catherine asked
They walked over seeing me lying on the floor with letters all around me.
"Sara!" Brass said, walking over kneeling down touching my wrist.
I jumped sitting up breathing in and out fast.
"Easy. It's just us." Brass said
I looked at them both then at the papers around me.
"Sara, are you all right?" Catherine asked, kneeling down beside Brass.
"I think so." I said, touching my head.
"What are these?" Catherine asked, taking a paper looking at it.
"Letters. I found them….in the closet." I said
"Let me make you something to eat." Brass said
"You can cook?" Catherine asked
"Why does that shock people?" Brass said, standing.
Catherine chuckled helping me to stand. She went with him so I could bathe and dress. When I came out the smell made my mouth water. Brass set out a plate of eggs and toast with a cup of coffee on the dining room table off the kitchen. I sat down as they sat with cups of coffee. I ate slowly.
"This is good."
"I only know how to scramble eggs." He said
"You did a good job." I said
He smiled then looked over at Catherine winking.
"I can take you to the lab." He said
I put down my fork looking at them.
"Can you stop being so nice?" I asked
They both looked at each other than at me.
"Sara, we just care about you." Catherine said
"I hate it! Stop being weird!" I said "Grissom is dead and I can't stand being pitied and treated like I made of China!"
"Sara, we don't mean to treat you like that. Please accept our apologies." Brass said
I looked at them a moment feeling myself break down inside. They both sat stunned as I grabbed my head with both hands screaming before sobbing loudly. Brass stood coming over to me sitting in a chair next to me pulling me against him rocking me back and forth. Catherine stood walking over petting my hair.
"Ssh." Brass said
"Sara, we are here to help you." Catherine said
Brass kissed my head.
It was decided that I take some days off to mourn. Brass took me to his home to stay. He came home late after work smelling food.
"Hello?" He called
I came out of his kitchen on the left sweating with my hair a mess in a black tee shirt and blue pajama bottoms.
"Hey." I said "I cooked spaghetti."
He watched me go back in.
"I hope your hungry." I said, bringing out a plate of hot spaghetti. I put the plate on the small circular table off the kitchen smiling.
He looked at it surprise.
"Uh…..I was not expecting this." He said
"It took me hours to make it just right." I said, moving a chair back from the table for him to sit down.
He slowly walked over sitting down pulling the chair up looking at the plate.
"Go ahead!" I said
"Okay."
He got the fork getting some noodles and sauce then ate it chewing. He looked at me while chewing.
"It's really good." He said
"Great!" I said
"Um Sara, I ate before I came home." He said
I looked at the plate then at him.
"I will eat it tomorrow." He said, standing.
"Okay." I said
"Okay." He said, getting the plate taking it in the kitchen. I sat down in the chair he vacated hearing him move around in the kitchen. He came out seeing me.
"I am beat. You should sleep to." He said
I nodded looking at the table.
His hand went to my shoulder squeezing it.
"I will." I said
"When?"
When I didn't answer he came around kneeling down looking at me.
"Sara?"
I looked at him.
"I will go to bed."
He reached up moving my hair back. He stood looking at me then he left. I sat there for a long time thinking. I stood going to the spare room. Brass dressed for work hours later coming out getting some coffee. He walked over to my room opening the door slowly looking in. He walked in seeing the bed had not been slept in.
"Sara?" He called
He grabbed his phone dialing my number waiting as it rang. My phone went off in the room. He looked around seeing it on the floor next to the bed. He sighed running out getting dressed then went to the front door opening it seeing me standing infront of it.
"Sara?" He said
I looked at him with empty eyes.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, coming outside.
I slid down to the ground holding my head crying. Brass knelt down helping to stand holding me against him. I shook clutching his coat. He kissed my head leading me inside. I was led into the bedroom, and he laid me down sitting smoothing my hair. He left as I slept.
Catherine knocked on his door later at the station. He was sitting at his desk just getting off the phone when she entered.
"Hey, how is Sara?"
He sat back in his chair sighing.
"I don't know what to do for her. She is getting worse." He said
"What if she left to go back home." Catherine said
"To San Francisco?" Brass asked
"Yes, for a few weeks." She said "Nick, Greg, and I could clean out the house and put everything in storage."
"Okay, that sounds like a good idea." He said
He got home walking into the spare bedroom. I laid curled into a ball sleeping. He sat down on the bed touching my back. I moved seeing him then I laid back down stretching.
"How are you feeling?" He asked
"Tired." I said, sitting up slowly showing him my swollen eyes from crying.
"Sara, Catherine and I talked, and we think you need to go to San Francisco for a while."
"No."
"This is not up for debate. You will go and come back a better person. Grissom would want you to."
I sighed looking down. He touched my hand.
"We will take care of things here." He said
"What do I do there?" I asked
"Visit family. Enjoy the city."
I nodded as he did.
A few days later I got on a bus to San Francisco. Brass and Catherine went to clean out the house.
Weeks later, I came back feeling better. When I went into the house, I saw everything that Grissom owned was gone. I ran into the bedroom noticing his clothes were go as well. Brass was getting off work walking to his car when I drove in parking behind his car getting out running over.
"Sara! When did you get back?" He asked, smiling.
"What did you do?!" I yelled
His smiled faded as he looked at me.
"What do you mean?"
"Grissom's things?"
"Catherine and I moved them to a storage facility down the street."
"How could you do that?!" I shouted
"Sara, you….."
I collapsed on the curb shaking. Brass picked me up taking me inside the building. Russell was walking to the front desk when he saw us.
"What happened?" He asked
"I need to lie her down." Brass said
"My office." Russell said, walking back to his closed office door. He unlocked it letting us in. Brass put me down on the corner couch by the door as Russell stood to the side. "Sara?"
"She just got back." Brass said, kneeling down as I held myself crying.
"I can get some water."
"That would be a good idea."
He pulled me against him. My body sagged against him.
"Let me take you home." Brass said
Russell and he stood me up walking carefully outside to his car. I got in shaking as he talked to Russell. I felt foolish making them worry. Brass got in turning on the heat looking at me. I held my head in my hands as he drove back to my house. He brought me inside to the bedroom. I laid down holding onto his arm. He sat down taking out his phone.
"This is Brass. I need to work on something important elsewhere. Have Perkins take over for me. Call me if something happens."
He looked at me hanging up. He stood and I let my hand fall watching him take his tie and coat off. He slid his shoes off as he got onto the bed lying down over the covers. I got under the covers holding onto him closing my eyes. He looked at the ceiling.
When I woke, he was gone. I got up walking around looking for him. I went to the kitchen looking around the clean kitchen.
"Hey."
I turned seeing Grissom dressed in a gray t-shirt and blue pajama bottoms. He looked at me curiously getting some coffee from the coffee pot beside the sink.
"Something wrong?" He asked
"Grissom?"
"You look like your seeing a ghost." He said, giving me smile before drinking from his blue cup.
Catherine came in shutting the door behind her.
"Sara, It's Catherine." She called "I just wanted to check on you."
She walked around coming into the kitchen seeing that I was sitting on the floor staring at nothing.
"Sara?" She said, kneeling down.
I stayed still looking ahead. Catherine touched my arm looking at concerned.
"Hey, you okay?"
I turned looking at her with large eyes.
"Catherine?" I said, weakly.
"Yes, it's me." She said "What are you doing down here?"
"Grissom came by."
"What?"
"Grissom came. He was drinking coffee." I said, turning to look ahead.
Catherine looked up at the coffee maker.
"Sara, he was not here."
She moved my hair back.
"Do you understand me?"
Catherine looked down seeing a large knife in my right hand. She reached over taking it from my hand. I didn't struggle. She put it on the counter then looked at me.
She got her phone out and dialed Brass.
"Jim, it's Catherine. You need to come over to Sara's. I think we lost her." Catherine said, before hanging up.
Brass came over running up the steps to the front door opening it seeing Catherine come out of the kitchen.
"Good, I don't know what to do." She said
Brass walked in kneeling down infront of me. He touched my knee.
"She'll come stay with me for the time being." He said "Can you pack a bag?"
"Yeah." Catherine said, before leaving.
Brass touched my cold cheek, and I blinked seeing him. I jumped at him putting my arms around his neck with my face in his chest. He fell back sitting up holding me. Catherine came back with two packed bags seeing us.
"Ready?" She asked
"Yeah." He said, getting up with me.
He drove to his place putting me in his spare room. I slept as he went to work. He came back with take out exhausted from a night of crime scenes.
He put the bag in the kitchen then walked over to the spare room knocking before opening the door.
"Sara?" He said, quietly.
I laid in a ball sleeping in the middle of the bed. He turned on the light making me winch and hide my eyes with my arm.
"It's time to eat." He said, pulling the blankets off me.
I moved trying grab the blankets. He smiled a little as I gave up moving my arm seeing him.
"Come on." He said, holding out his hand.
I sighed moving to get up taking his hand. He led me to the kitchen. A large salad was put infront of me at the little round table by the wall. Jim sat down near me opening his meal looking at me.
I ate some satisfying him. He ate looking at me then he cleared his throat.
"Sara, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."
I looked at him chewing.
"Perhaps you could sell your house and come live here." He said "I would like the company."
I stopped chewing looking at him.
"I don't mean that you have to, but it might be a good idea." He said "That house has to many memories for you."
I looked down as he reached over touching my hand.
"Sara, I am sorry."
"You…. really want me to move here?" I asked
He swallowed watching me raise my head with tears on my cheeks.
"Yes, if you want. You can redecorate if you want."
I looked around then I moved hugging him. He hugged me relieved. I moved back wiping tears from my eyes.
"I am so touched, but I can't."
"Why not?"
"The memories…. help get me through the days."
"Sara, all this is making you worse."
I looked at him. His hand squeezed mine.
"No, it's making me stronger."
