He stirred in his sleep, eyebrows furrowed and lips twisted upside down. His hands grasped the covers searching for security, but they lacked the strength to do so in that state. Asleep, restless. Restrained.
A little more turning slowly woke the person lying on the bed next to him. Both were heavy sleepers, but the weak nudges brought her back from dreamland. Groaning softly, she turned around, gently rubbing the shoulder of her partner while he complained in his sleep.
"Hey… hey, sweetie… wake up, honey…" She shook him as softly as possible. Waking him up out of a sudden wasn't good, but he had to wake up still.
With one sharp inhale, his eyes opened. Releasing a long sigh, the young man rubbed his eyes, removing the sand while he felt an arm sneak around his body. He had grown used to the source of warmth making contact with his back, but it didn't take away from its soothing effect.
"Another bad dream?" Her voice, although a little rough from awakening just now, had an even greater calming effect. She was here.
"Yes… I'm sorry."
"Shhh, it's okay," She hugged him tighter, planting a soft peck on his cheek and nesting her chin at the crane of his neck. "It's out of your control, honey, you don't have to feel bad. And you don't have to apologize to me."
He did not answer. The images were almost gone from his memory, as most dreams, good or bad, go when you get up in the morning. What didn't leave was the feeling behind it. The world around him looked still, colorless, and cold, except for the embrace of his dearest wife. If it wasn't for her, who knows what would be of him?
"We can stay on the bed today if you want." She suggested, brushing his hair with her fingers.
He slowly got up, the blankets falling back as he sat on the bed.
"Are you going already? It's pretty early," She said, looking at the clock.
05:32 am
He walked to the wardrobe to change into his work clothes, but before he stood for a moment in front of the window. Outside, the city was still lit up and moving, but at a slower pace. People from the night shifts were finally getting home, while the early risers were getting ready to start their days. The night veil wasn't yet pulled, but the sun didn't come out yet. For a moment, he felt stuck between twilight and daybreak, in a weird middle ground that felt odd to even think about. His gaze moved to the stars dotting the sky, still shining but a little duller compared to a few hours before. The brighter ones were still pretty visible, but any unfortunate celestial body too far away or without the luminosity to compensate had been rendered indiscernible in his eyes.
"How about coffee and toast with eggs for breakfast? Sounds good to you?" She suggested, stretching her arms as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"No, thanks. I'll take something on the way."
He grabbed his coat and walked past the bed.
"We have time. You could relax a bit for once, you know?" She didn't protest further, despite having her offer turned down.
"See you later, love you." He told her, giving a quick kiss on her lips before going out in a bit of a hurry and leaving the beautiful redhead alone in their bed, still in her nightgown and shaking her head sideways. A soft sigh escaped her lips, but he wasn't there to hear.
Captain stood still in front of the gate separating the patch of grass from the street for a moment. Calling it a garden would be a major stretch, yet it somehow increased the property's value. It wasn't what he intended when he proposed to Himeko, and to say it fell short of the plans they have dreamed together was an understatement, but it was still something. For all its confined nature, this patch of grass was well-kept, trimmed, and cleaned out of weeds. And they even managed to grow a modest rose bush.
Looking up again, he felt that strange feeling of emptiness, being stuck in a void between spaces. Why did he do that? He loved his wife more than anything, but he turned her generous and heartfelt offer, in favor of… walking at the same pace to his workplace, under this weird prelude to dawn. Why?
Well, it would be weird if he went back inside now. Off he went, at the same pace of every day, not hurried but also not like a crawl. It would be another day like the others, the type that blurs into the memory if nothing eventful happens. Granted, his line of work could hardly be described as uneventful, but after a while, the shocking news loses its effect. Actually, his therapist advised him on that matter, to try not to think this is normal.
If you feel like you're getting used to it, make something different to break the routine. Go hiking, watch a silly movie with your wife, take her out on a fancy dinner date, or find a new hobby. Just don't let the routine get to you. These were her words, generally speaking.
"Dr. Aponia does have a point. I should take Himeko on a date…" He said to himself, mindlessly walking down the same streets, taking the same turns and waiting on the same signs. He wondered when was the last time they went out.
"... When was it, huh?"
BEEP!
The sound of the car horn made him jump back. His heart went from resting to an accelerated pace in an instant as the young man looked surprised at the vehicle speeding by where he was a second ago. With wide, surprised eyes, he looked up at the red light, signaling pedestrians to stop. His heart was beating so fast, the beats sounded like drums in his ears. Across the road, the red light seemed to glare at him, telling him to stop, to refrain from overstepping his boundaries, for his own safety. The buzzing of the neon light droned out everything else, taking out his breath.
Until the green light turned on, signaling pedestrians could safely cross.
The city never sleeps, it has moments of greater and lesser movement. Maybe he was the same.
. . .
The office was quiet. This early in the morning, he was the only person in here, probably the only time when the place wasn't filled with noise. Or so he thought. Passing by the desks, one of them was occupied by a pink-haired head, resting on top of the keyboard. The young man shook his head and let out a sigh. This was nothing new to him.
As usual, he bought an extra coffee on his way to the police department, half expecting his colleague to be there from yet another unnecessary overnight. He gently tapped her shoulder, waking up the poor soul.
"Rise and shine, Sakura. Your shift starts in… thirty minutes."
Sakura groaned and stirred, slowly rising from her hunched position. The first thing her eyes met was the man's visage, holding a coffee cup in front of her face.
"I stayed overnight again, so why do you look more tired than me?" She said, stretching her arms above her head and accepting the warm drink.
"The normal way of greeting is 'good morning', you know"
"And when do we have a "normal" day, Captain?" Sakura said, taking a sip. "Black coffee… You always pick the same."
"And you always take whatever I bring you."
"Beggars can't be choosers, and I appreciate the thought more than this bitterness. Plus, it keeps me awake."
"You should take better care of yourself, Sakura."
"And you should listen more to your own advises."
The room went silent for a moment before they broke into short laughter. every day started with a little bit of banter. Some level of humor was required for them, considering their line of work. Far and few were the moments they had the opportunity to indulge in such things. The homicide division could be a cruel place sometimes.
07:45 am
He parked the car across the road. With Sakura following closely, they headed to the location. The yellow line was already placed, keeping a few curious eyes away from the crime scene. Inside the building, the police were already cataloging everything.
"So, what do we have this time?" The young man asked as soon as they entered the building.
"Well, if it isn't Captain. It's awful that we seem to only meet when that happens."
"If that's the case, I wish I didn't have to see you again." The cop to the side of the first one snickered.
"~sigh~ Me too… I guess it's the usual, home invasion for theft, the resident reacted and a tragedy followed. I'll let you do your job so we can get the bastard in cuffs." Said the first cop, leaving the two investigators alone.
Walking around, Captain looked for any signs of what exactly happened in there. A broken vase, an upturned table, a broken window; A messy carpet, now caked in blood, the blue reclining hair was pushed aside. Two bullet casings on the floor, two gun wounds on the victim… One hole in the wooden floor?
"Found something, Captain?" Sakura asked, seeing him crouch down, inspecting something.
"This hole here…" He said, looking back and over his shoulder, tracing the possible path of the bullet. "Sakura, check this floor, I'll see if there's something upstairs."
While the pinkette scanned the other rooms, the young detective walked up the stairs to the second floor, looking back to the hole in the floor. That's when he spotted the missing casing on one of the steps, and another hole in the wall. A wall that had many nails on it. He would expect these to hold frames of family photos or something like that. The stairs led to a small hallway and the upper rooms. The first door to the left was half-opened.
This was the victim's bedroom, he concluded. The insides were pretty messy, with bedsheets scattered on the floor, clothes tossed around, and a lot of personal belongings everywhere. Maybe the culprit entered the house and turned the place upside down, then the victim arrived, got up, and met them. She tried to run, avoiding a few shots, but got hit two times and fell into the living room. Tragic, but not an uncommon case. Also unfortunate that this would happen enough times for him to see the pattern reveal in front of him with a simple glance. It was never easy to deal with investigations day after day, but he tried not to think too much about it. She was already dead, there was nothing he could do. As much as he wanted to, Captain didn't have the power to alter what happened to this poor soul.
His next actions were also pretty clear. Gather the evidence, sequence to analysis, wait for the results and see if anything matches. Then, go after the criminal and arrest them, case solved, justice delivered. When he joined the department, he liked to think he was doing a great service for society, almost as if they were avengers for the dead. But as the days passed and he investigated more cases, this fantasy shattered in face of what reality is: one sad event after the other. Even if you're leading a perfect life, someone is having the worst day of their life elsewhere. We just don't realize that until it happens to us, or someone close to us.
It isn't like people do that on purpose, it's a defense mechanism, he came to conclude. If someone decided to partake in every single tragedy that happened in the world, they would lead the most miserable life ever, with no good moments. So life keeps on giving everyone good and bad days, sometimes more of one or another to someone in specific, at some specific time. That's a great equalizer, when you think about it, something terrible that can end your life can happen to anyone.
"~sigh~ Here I go again on that line of thought… Doc Aponia is right, I have to stop living the same day every day- huh"
Something caught the young man's eye for a second. Something under the desk, shrouded by its shadow. He would probably have never noticed this, if it wasn't for this random glimmer in his eyes, coming from the outside. Captain picked it up, inspecting the cover. Nothing too special, just a bright pink standard notebook. He casually flipped through the pages, skimming over the text. It was a simple diary so he didn't feel like perusing any further on the victim's personal thoughts, but something caught his attention for a second.
I'm free
These words were written in bold letters at the end of the page. Not something you usually see in a diary, but-
"Captain," Sakura called from the door, breaking him from his thoughts. "found something?"
He remained silent for a moment, staring at the pink book with a blank face.
"Yeah, look." He then crouched, pointing at two more casings on the floor. "I guess the culprit was in this room first. The victim ran down the stairs and got hit on the first floor."
"Do you think he entered through the window?"
"Possibly. The front window is broken, so they might have escaped that way."
"I'll check with Alvitr if there are any images from the area."
"Good. Let's go back, then." He said, walking down the stairs and out of the house with Sakura behind him.
3:30 pm
He entered the bar, making his way to the counter. On the other side, a figure of gray hair cleaned the glasses. She had her back towards him, but she already knew who it was.
"Pontual as usual, huh? Something tells me you don't come here for the drinks or the atmosphere. So, what will it be… Captain?" Raven turned around, leaning on the counter and meeting his gaze with a sly smirk.
"The usual, a lemon water and any hints you might have."
"Ugh, business as always. At least you're a reliable customer… Coming right up." She served him the simple drink in a tall glass, then returned to cleaning the glasses. "So, what do you want to know?"
"A shooting at a residence downtown, apparently robbery. One victim."
"Hmm… doesn't ring any bells, anything else?"
"The girl worked at a science lab."
"... Yeah, didn't hear anything about it, but I'll place a pin on that, in any case."
He nodded, then downed the drink before placing a bill on the counter and getting up to leave.
"Going so soon? Why don't you spend some more time? You know the Raven's will always be open to you."
"You know me, I'm not the type to drink at bars… Maybe I'll bring Himeko."
"Can't wait, later~"
Captain left the bar, looking up at the neon lights giving the name of the place. Raven's, a place where he could ask for extra info that didn't circulate in the legal venues, as they say. Cioara, the owner and bartender, wasn't involved in anything troublesome or illegal, but she knew people and knew how to take care of herself, so she was a reliable source. The point being, he came here at least once a week, almost at the same time. Many times her hints helped a lot in solving the cases, so this was one of the "tricks" on his sleeve. But generally speaking, he always had success in solving them.
Captain had a solid score. Sometimes the answers simply popped in front of him, but he didn't brag about that. He was just doing his job.
7:12 pm
"I'm home," He announced, closing the door behind him.
"Welcome home, honey. How was your day?" Asked the red-haired beauty, coming to greet him with a soft kiss.
"It was okay, same as usual."
"I saw in the news about a shooting downtown, did you pick that one?"
"Yeah. A young lady, pretty sad to see."
"~sigh~ I appreciate what you do but I couldn't handle this every day."
"It's part of the job description… So, what are we having for dinner?"
"I hope you don't mind steak and fries again."
"Not at all."
Before he knew it, it was past 11 pm already, time to go to bed. Himeko had fallen asleep on his shoulder while watching the movies, as usual. The bowl of popcorn was empty and she snored lightly, snuggling up on him under the blankets. It wasn't a lavish lifestyle, but he couldn't complain about it. He had a promising career, his job paid well, and he had a gorgeous wife by his side, in a comfy house they could call home.
So why exactly did it feel odd to him? Not like he actively searched for things that could be wrong in his life, on the opposite, everything seemed to work just fine. He didn't have negative surprises or massive problems he couldn't solve. Everything was fine, in a monotonous way. It didn't mean he was free of making any efforts, but it was almost sure that if he focused on something, that thing would happen in due time. That's the problem, it was too precise.
He wasn't ungrateful either, as he counted each and every blessing that came around his life. But looking to the side, he couldn't help but compare. Not many people were as fortunate as he was, which compelled the young man to never express a complaint about anything. It could be worse, he had seen worse. Still, sometimes that itch came around that sensation of something not being right or being too right as if he was incapable of failing. He wasn't arrogant to think of himself as such, but his streak of solved cases spoke for itself. Never has someone so young climbed the ladder so fast. His former trainer would be proud of him.
The light of the TV seemed to blur, illuminating the living room less and less. The walls stretched, the ceiling went higher, and everything looked distant from him. Once again he felt suffocated by this massive void, stuck in a place of partial light and darkness. It felt cold and lifeless, and it was both inside and around him. His limbs lost strength, but they moved the same. It wasn't himself moving but something else, pulling at strings and controlling him like a puppet. Slowly but surely, a string thin string wrapped around his neck. He didn't know how but he understood it was meant to take over him completely, suffocating his voice so he couldn't speak, turning his head to the direction he was supposed to look at, whispering into his ears what thoughts he should have…
He jerked up, still sitting with Himeko by his side, cuddling under the blanket. The movie was over, and so was his dream. At least for tonight, he hoped.
5:32 am
"Hey… hey, sweetie… wake up, honey…" She shook him as softly as possible. Waking him up out of a sudden wasn't good, but he had to wake up still.
With one sharp inhale, his eyes opened. Releasing a long sigh, the young man rubbed his eyes, removing the sand while he felt an arm sneak around his body. He had grown used to the source of warmth making contact with his back, but it didn't take away from its soothing effect.
"Another bad dream?" Her voice, although a little rough from awakening just now, had an even greater calming effect. She was here.
"No, I… I slept pretty well tonight"
"Oh, that's good, Honey," She hugged him tighter, planting a soft peck on his cheek and nesting her chin at the crane of his neck. "See? Things get better if you wait for a while."
"I think they get better because I have you."
"Aww, don't get all mushy on me so early!"
"But it's the truth." He said back, returning the kiss.
"So, how about that coffee and toast with eggs for breakfast? Are you feeling like it?" She suggested, stretching her arms as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Hmm, sounds good alright."
He sat next to her on the bed.
"We have time. You can relax a bit today, can't you?" She said, getting on her feet and leading him by the hand to the kitchen.
"Yeah, I've got time."
He looked out the window. Outside, the city seemed a little more lively, and the sky was a little brighter today.
Sitting with his wife at the table, drinking coffee with toast, felt much better than whatever he had on the way every day, even though it was the same thing.
After that, he was off to work. The city looked more colorful than usual, maybe because he was less impaired by his sleep state, or maybe it was the extra light making everything brighter. Or maybe he was just seeing things.
Like that person wearing a dark cloak, standing in an alley. He wouldn't have noticed that if he went on his way as always. Just yesterday he missed a red light, but the young man caught the shady figure standing by the corner of his eye. It was for a brief moment, and as soon as he looked again, nothing.
. . .
The office was already running when he arrived. Sakura was at her desk, but awake and not looking as tired. He walked by her desk, tapping on it and handing her a cup of coffee from the same place he always bought.
"Good morning, Captain. I was wondering where were you just now." She said, accepting the paper cup.
"Good morning to you too. You didn't stay overnight again, did you?"
"No, I just arrived like you. What a coincidence."
"Yeah, I thought of shaking things up a bit today, haha."
They chatted for a bit while preparing to start their workday, when another person busted into the room, a young lady with short, gray hair tied into a ponytail and ruby-red eyes, with a few dark marks under them.
"I found it! Ah, Captain!" She rushed to his side with a handful of papers. "The results from the ballistic are done, we found a match!"
The sudden news and the enthusiastic girl took him a little by surprise, but that was a good one.
"So soon? Usually, it takes a while…"
"I managed to cross a few data points here and there. I also analyzed the images Sakura sent and got a suspect. He has been locked up already." She showed them a picture of the possible criminal, pointing at the other image of the gun.
"So if we find this dude and find the gun…"
"Then it's case closed."
"I see, but how does he relate to the victim?" Asked the young man.
"Eh? Isn't that just a robbery gone wrong?"
"Probably, but he hasn't shown that level of aggression before, even when arrested in possession of a firearm… so why shoot the victim this time?"
"Are you suggesting this might have other motivations?" Asked the pink-haired lady next to him.
"It's just a possibility. After checking the house, no items of value were found missing. So he came to steal something, met the girl, shot her, and left without anything?"
"Erm, maybe he panicked?" Suggested Alvitr.
"Whatever the case may be, we can confirm that after we catch him and make some questions."
"Yeah, don't stress too much over that, Captain. It's already great that you found the bullets and got the video recordings of the area." Alvitr took Sakura's side.
"But… ~sigh~ Alright, Sakura, start by where he was last seen. Alvitr, I want to know where that gun came from and where did it go." He said, going outside.
"And where are you going?"
"Asking around." He said, closing the door behind him and leaving the two girls in silence for a moment.
"... Isn't it cool when he does that?"
"Not now, Alvitr…"
. . .
07:45 am
Captain sat patiently on the waiting cough at the university's entrance hall. A quick check of the victim's background yielded the place she worked at, an advanced research lab on the campus. Soon enough a figure in a lab coat came out to greet him. She had light blue messy hair and a rather apathetic face, although it could very well be the face of someone running on caffeine and ramen noodles. He was pretty familiar with that.
"What can I help you with, detective?" She said, approaching him.
"You're Dr. Lieserl Einstein, head of the R&D division of this lab, correct?"
"No need for formalities, but yes."
"Well, we're currently investigating the murder of one of your junior researchers-"
"Ah, that. I've seen the news. It's a great loss, Sussanah was a bit clumsy but brilliant nonetheless…" She said, looking down at the floor for a moment, but she quickly looked back at him again. "I suppose you're here to ask about her?"
"Yeah, the search at her house didn't make it clear, so can you tell me who she used to walk with and if she had any sort of enemies or some kind of rivalry?"
"Who, Sussanah? Not a chance, she was way too cautious and scared to get herself into trouble. Plus, everyone loved her in the lab."
"I see. Still, not a single chance she might have been caught up in something, perhaps against her will?"
Dr. Einstein stared at him for a moment before speaking again.
"Pardon my rudeness, detective, but your wording makes it sound like you're putting my team under suspect."
"I won't do that if there are no reasons to. I'm merely asking because of this," He then brought up a pink notebook, opening on a marked page. Captain let the doctor read the few weird lines at the bottom before continuing. "For someone like her, writing this kind of thing is quite unusual, don't you think?"
The bluenette remained in silence for a while longer, staring at the pages. Then, she raised her eyes again, motioning for him to follow her.
"Say, detective, have you ever heard of superdeterminism?"
The random question caught him by surprise, but he followed her inside the lab anyway.
"I'm not really familiar with the term, I'm afraid."
"It's a theory in physics, or rather a hypothesis. Look at these bubbles going up that tube for example," She pointed to a glass cylinder full of clear green fluid. "could you tell if there's a pattern for their motion?"
"Uh, not really."
"And how about this pendulum here?" She then pointed to a set of metallic spheres, swinging back and forth.
"Hmm, this seems more controlled."
"Exactly. The first is what we would call a chaotic system. The amount of variables involved in their motion is so vast the change of a single one will create vastly different results, which we can't possibly hope to calculate. However, what if there was a way?"
She then moved to a blackboard, where a lot of equations were written. This was definitely beyond his level of comprehension.
"In physics, we use formulas to determine how bodies will move and interact. Given some factors like mass and velocity and you can predict what will happen with great precision."
"... I'm not following."
"This preamble is necessary, trust me. Now, on a philosophical level, do you think the universe is chaotic?"
Captain had to stop and ponder a little over the question.
"I guess so. There are things we simply can't control, right? And some of our actions might have repercussions we can't even imagine."
"I see you're familiar with the concept of the butterfly flapping its wings, good. But what if I told you this could be a misunderstanding?"
"How come?"
Dr. Einstein crossed her arms, and her eyes looked a little distant as she spoke.
"A super deterministic universe is one where each and every action is caused by an action previous to it. The reason for what we understand as "chaos" is merely an illusion caused by the number of variables involved. In that sense, everything that happened, is happening, and will happen, has already been determined from the very start… Do you believe in free will, Captain?"
The question paralyzed him. Not only because this was a very complex concept once you started to think about him, but for some other reason, this question brought back that sensation of being stuck between two spaces. His chest tightened just from thinking about it, so much so that he lost track of time for a moment. That was enough to elicit another word from the doctor.
"It's a personal question, detective, there's no wrong answer."
"I, uh… I suppose I do. Our lives are determined by the decisions we make. Some things are out of our control, and others are influenced by the world we live in, but ultimately it is up to ourselves to decide."
She nodded silently, with a faint smile.
"Good answer. Sussanah believed in that too. That's why she was so eager in disproving the super deterministic theory." She said, pointing to the huge blackboard full of equations behind her.
"And how do you disprove that?" He asked, quite dumbfounded that a young girl like her could make such a work, even if he didn't understand it.
"How else? Run a predictable test and see if it fails. Physics is about accurate predictions and models. If something unexpected happens, the model is not precise enough."
"That sounds like a lot of work."
"And it is. This was her personal project, and in my lab, I incentivize everyone to develop some line of research by themselves. Once I presented the concept of super determinism to her, Sussanah picked it as her own. In her own words, we're more than a bundle of variables and functions put together, we have the power to define ourselves. Not too far from your answer. I guess this is a trait of more optimistic people…"
"Do you consider yourself a pessimist then, Doctor?"
"I'm a realist, detective. If I can measure it, it is real to me, and that's it. There are hidden variables all around us and we don't see them because we're focused on something else. But trying to see the whole will inevitably stop you from noticing the details."
"That's a… pretty enlightened way of seeing life."
"It's not, my view is just as valid as yours. Anyway, I'm sorry I can't help you with anything else. It's hard for me to think Sussanah would mingle with dangerous types."
"It's fine, we do have a few leads. I just wanted to make sure. Well, thank you for your time, Dr. Einstein." He said, taking his leave.
"No problem, and detective," He stopped to look back at her. "Make sure to find the culprit, okay…?"
He nodded in silence before walking out of the lab. On his way out, he received a few messages. One from Sakura talked with the suspect's close family, but nothing came out of it. Apparently, he has been missing for a few weeks now. Nothing from Alvitr yet, she was still tracking the gun to the last registry. And one from his wife, asking what would he like for dinner.
Captain paused to think about it, they had been eating the same thing on a roll for a couple of days now. He wanted to have something special with her tonight, so he sent a text back suggesting they go out on a dinner date tonight. The answer came back right away, positive and with lots of hearts.
. . .
7:12 pm
He had a smile on his face as he walked back to his home. he couldn't wait to see his beautiful wife all produced for him. Yes, he took great pride in having such a stunning woman by his side, so much so that sometimes he wondered how he even managed that. She always told him it was about his rather oblivious nature and pure heart. Perhaps it was her way of saying he was naive, but he wasn't about to ruin that image. As he turned around the corner, Captain spotted their home, and not too far from it, a shady figure standing in an alley. It was partially concealed in the shadows and it had a cloak to help too. Weird, where has he seen this person before…?
Well, he knew of a few cosplayers who liked to use the area for their photo shoots, and the person walked away in the end. Normally this would concern him, but tonight wasn't a night for stress. On the opposite, it was time for him and his lovely wife to enjoy some good food and the company of each other.
"Honey, I'm home," He announced, closing the door behind him.
He said, but no answer came. The house was silent, so he assumed she was getting ready to go out. Leaving his shoes at the door, Captain made his way to the bedroom to get ready himself. The sound of running water came from the bathroom, so she must be taking a shower. Hopefully, she won't take long.
"Hey, dear, I'm home."
No answer. He knocked on the door.
"Will you take long, dear?"
Again, no answer. Just the sound of water running.
"Himeko, honey, it's me. I just want to ask if…"
He slowly came inside the bathroom, and the happiness immediately drained from his face, giving place to shock and panic.
"Himeko!"
She laid on the floor face first, with a towel wrapped around her. He rushed to her side, turning her around to check her vitals. She was breathing and her pulse was normal, but she was knocked out cold. No bruises or signs of contusions and everything in the bathroom seemed in order. After shaking her a few times, attempting to wake her up, he collected his thoughts, grabbed his phone, and dialed emergency.
. . .
5:32 am
He paced back and forth in the waiting area of the hospital. The doctors had run all the initial exams and everything was fine, which made him relieved and worried at the same time. Why now? Why with her…?
Every time someone came through the door he would turn around, hoping to see the answer to his afflictions, or better yet, his wife well and awaken. The poor young lady at the counter did her best to calm him down, but there was no way he could rest, not under these circumstances. He didn't feel sleepy or hungry, only anxious, in ways that he never felt before. Sometimes, when it got too silent, his mind would conjure the worst scenario, but he would banish these thoughts. He had to be in his right mind about whatever possible decisions he had to make.
The door opened one more time, and this time it was the doctor taking care of her. Captain immediately rushed to him, trying to keep himself together. Despite his serene expression, the man didn't seem to be the bearer of good news.
"Is she awake?" Captain asked hastily.
"~sigh~ Not yet. Her condition is… stable. All vitals are normal and she's as healthy as one can be, yet, she's in a deep coma state." Explained the main with long gray hair.
"And you don't have any idea of what might have caused that, Dr. Su?"
"Unfortunately, no. We'll be running more tests later on, but apparently, there's nothing wrong with your wife, physically speaking. Does her family has any history of something similar?"
"Umm, her mother suffered from a rare illness when she was very young and passed away, but she has always been careful with that. Periodic exams, exercises, a good diet, everything… Why… Why did this have to happen…?"
Being a medical professional, Su wasn't new to this kind of reaction. He believed that a doctor had to take care of the ill and the healthy around them. However, it was not an easy task in cases like this.
"Some things happen despite our best efforts to avoid them, and some questions are left without and ans-"
SLAM!
It was by pure reflex, so much so that even Captain surprised himself. He slammed a fist on the white wall, out of frustration. Honestly, he was so lost in all this that he didn't even register the pain. Regardless, Dr. Su tried to offer some comfort.
"I understand this is very taxing to you, but you haven't slept or eaten anything. You'll just end up sick by doing this, and while I have no problem in treating you too, I'd rather not, if that can be avoided."
The young man took in a deep breath and slowly released.
"You're right… My apologies…"
"It's fine, really. I've seen worse outbursts. Try to take some rest, I can assure you we'll keep your wife healthy and do everything in our reach to find the problem, and find a cure."
He wanted to say thank you, but all Captain could do was nod. Suddenly all the tiredness caught up and hit him at once, draining his energy. Still, today was a work day.
. . .
How many days have passed already? They all looked the same. He would wake up early, as usual, go to the hospital and ask for an update on Himeko's condition. Then he would march to the office, mechanically. He would do his job, running on autopilot most of the time, which in turn made his partner and colleagues worry about him. Then he would go back to the hospital, spend the remaining visit time by her side, and go back to his home. Their home. He would fall on the bed and sleep, or at least try to. It felt too cold, too empty, and he would need to wait until exhaustion took over.
Rinse and repeat.
After a few days, his boss would send him home on temporary leave. Not that his performance has dropped or anything. In fact, he was just as functional, but that was the point. Knowing what he was going through, Siegfried couldn't allow him to keep on the grind. So with all that extra free time, Captain did the only thing he could think of.
Stay by her side.
Every day felt the same. He couldn't tell when one ended and another began. It felt like he was just existing in a vacuum, cold and colorless. What was the point in all this? Why, all of a sudden, this would happen? And to her, of all people? He would take her place any time, after all, his life was a straight line. No big surprises, no big tragedies, just normal life. Why?
That cold sensation came again, creeping from below the door, like a mist. It slowly circled him, crawling above his leg, wrapping around his chest, tightening his neck, and cutting his breath short. He felt suffocated, alone, lost in a void. The dimly lit room felt darker, as the neon light went further up. As he looked forward, the bed looked distant, and the bed of the heart monitor got louder and louder, each time getting slower and slower.
He wanted to reach her, he wanted to hold her hand, feel her warmth, but he was stuck to the chair, chained by invisible binds. He wanted to call her name, shout for help, or simply scream in frustration and anger, but his voice failed him. Rather, there was no air coming out of his lungs. It was like drowning on land, an incomprehensive force keeping him away from her. The more he struggled, the farther he got, and the more desperate he felt. The heart monitor began to sound like a bell, its ominous echoing a dreadful omen. He would give anything to trade places right now, but he remained impotent, stuck right on the edge, so close yet so far.
He jolted in his seat, sweating bullets from his forehead. The room was back to normal, and there she was, resting peacefully as in the last who knows how many days. And then he noticed.
Looming at the door, looking through the glass. A shadowy figure, its features obscured by the cloak, too obscured for the type of lighting of the hospital. He looked into the dark blur where its face should be, and it seemed to stare back at the young man, and then it left.
Captain got up in a rush, bolting out of the room just in time to see the mysterious cloaked person turn around the corner of the hallway. He gave chase, for a reason he didn't fully understand. Something within him screamed to give chase to this unknown person, be it because he was staring at his wife, or because he was something similar before.
Coming to think about it, he has definitely seen this before. It was always there, always hanging at the edge of his field of vision, lurking in a dark corner. He could feel its presence whenever he went on autopilot, or when he got distracted during work, in his dreams… this… thing has been haunting him all his life and now it was after Himeko. He had the answers, despite not knowing where they came from, he just knew. It was all in front of him, but he couldn't comprehend it, just feel it. And what he felt now was anger.
Anger at this thing for hurting Himeko to get to him. Guilt for ever allowing that to happen. Regret for not realizing sooner. Frustration for being unable to change the situation, no matter how many times he tried. Confusion for… for all the other reasons. Where were these feelings coming from? It was the first time he had met this thing so closely. Speaking of which, it was just a little ahead of him.
No matter how long the corridors were and how much he ran, every time he turned a corner, the cloaked figure was just turning the next. It was mocking him, taunting him to keep following, leading him to a foreign path, leading him astray… away from her.
That's when he stopped running, feeling his lungs ache. Was that hospital that large? Where was he? What was this hallway? Why was it so long and…
"Himeko…?"
She was still there, laying on the bed, so peaceful that you might say she was just sleeping, having a pleasant dream. He tried to enter, but the door was locked. He shook the knob frantically, but it wouldn't budge. He looked around for help, but something else caught his attention. The room on the other side was identical. It had the same number, the same equipment, and the same person lying on the bed. His eyes widened in shock and his knees felt weak.
The young man looked at the next room, and at the next, and at the next, and at the next. All of them, exactly the same. All of them, a visage of his wife, stuck in dreamland, so close to him but also unreachable. In a bout of desperation, he slammed his shoulder at the door, trying to break it from the hinges. But the more he tried, the harder it felt. He tried breaking the glass, but it only cracked, and soon the cracks reverted, rewinding in time to the original state.
He kept punching the glass, hoping to damage it more than it could heal, but to no avail. What was worse, it still hurt his hands, but he couldn't care less. He had to be in there, he had to be with her.
He shouted, but his voice didn't reach for her. He slammed the door with all his strength, but the noise was drowned by the oppressing silence. He cried, but she wasn't awake to see his tears. And then it appeared, the cloaked figure. It revealed itself, sliding from behind a shadow as if it was a solid curtain. It motioned him to not make a sound, it's hand covered in black and with clawed tips. It approached the bed and with each step it got closer to his wife, the young man felt his heart beat faster. It reached for her, its clawed hand hanging above her peaceful face.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
He was stuck there, on the edge of being able to save her.
He was stuck there.
He was… stuck.
And awake.
"Can you hear me?"
He stiffened, suddenly absorbing every bit of information from his surroundings. The noises, the lights, the smells, and the visage of the person right in front of him. This face he knew, he was the doctor taking care of his wife.
"Doctor… Su…?"
The gray-haired man let out a relieved sigh.
"Thank God. Mister, I know this will be hard to do, considering your situation, but you must listen to me."
Whatever he was saying, Captain didn't pay attention. He was looking around, trying to get the thing haunting the edges of his vision.
… What was it again?
"Sir, you must go home and have a proper rest. As a doctor, I can't allow yourself in harm's way and-"
"Where is it…?"
"Excuse me?"
Captain grabbed him by the shoulders, staring right into his eyes.
"Where is it?" He repeated, glancing sideways frantically.
"~sigh~ Sir, please focus on answering my next question… Do you know how you ended up here?"
Captain was still paranoid, but the question got through all that and forced him to calm down and think this through. Where was he?
He looked around, trying to make sense of his surroundings. There was a number on the wall.
"E… Seven…?"
"Exactly. Your wife is on the first floor, so can you explain to me why you were running around here on the eighth floor?" Dr. Su asked him calmly. Judging by the young man's confused expression, the answer was a no.
Dr. Su tranquilized him further and escorted Captain to the hospital's entrance, all the while reassuring him they were doing their best to find a cure to whatever Himeko was going through. He also mentioned that stress, coupled with malnourishment and lack of sleep, could induce strong hallucinations, and advised him to stay at home for a few days. He wouldn't block him from seeing his wife, but it was his medical recommendation.
Captain simply nodded and was left by the doctor. Turning around, he mindlessly made his way… somewhere. Glancing at a street clock, his eyes focused on the time.
5:32 am
. . .
He knocked at the door, waiting for permission to come in. A soft voice called him inside, so he slowly opened the door, entering with his head low, almost in reverence. His eyes met with hers for a second and just by that, she knew this was a serious matter. To be honest, it wasn't a complicated conclusion. The only reason why he began to see her was that his girlfriend at the time nagged him to seek some form of professional help with his mental state. Given his line of work, it was much needed, plus she couldn't leave a friend in need. For those reasons, Aponia knew the young man shyly entering her office was in dire need of help, and it wasn't just the bags under his eyes and the disheveled hair.
"Please, sit down." She told him, her voice always soft and gentle.
Captain sat in front of her, avoiding direct contact at first, but he had to get this going one time.
"Hi, Dr. Aponia, how are things going?" He forced a smile, but he knew that would never fool her.
"Better than you, I'm sure. I… learned about Himeko, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, she… She'll be okay. You know her, she's stronger than she looks."
"Yes, that she is. But you're not here to talk just about her, are you?"
"~sigh~ No. I…" There was no use in delaying it, so he might as well be upfront. "I haven't been well ever since she… you know. I can't sleep or eat properly, and I'm… seeing things, I think."
She wasn't really surprised by this. Aponia knew just how attached these two were. Had the opposite happened, she didn't doubt Himeko would be just as bad. Regardless, exhaustion was the word to describe his appearance right now.
"That's to be expected, considering what you're going through. I think you don't want me to say the obvious but, even during a time like this, you have to take better care of yourself. If not for your own health, then for her sake."
Even though it was a small lecture, her candid and quite melancholic tone didn't hold any malice.
"But you said you are seeing things. What things, exactly?"
He hesitated a bit, opening and closing his hands, but before she had to ask again, the young man began to speak.
"My dreams… it's something like that, but more… vivid, and intense. I feel constricted, suffocating, and cold. As if something was holding me in place, tugging me away from where I want to be, away from her…"
It was sad to see such a bright person like him so down. This man wasn't the life of the party or known for his charisma, but he was a good person that got along with everyone, given some time. To see him in such a fragile state was heartbreaking, and Aponia couldn't help but feel a little glad her friend wasn't here to see him like that.
"These… visions. Did they start right after Himeko got ill?"
"Yes! … No. I mean… I'm not sure, I think… I saw that before, but now it is… was there…"
He looked very confused and mumbled the words, but she noticed him saying something different.
"What is 'it'?"
"Huh?"
"You said 'it' was there now. What is 'it'?"
Captain struggled to find the words, more so because every time he tried to describe this thing, the meaning of the words simply slipped through his mind. So he used the next best thing.
"It was… dark and cold. It felt like a living void, something siphoning the joy right out of the air… and it was so close to her and… I couldn't do anything to stop… I couldn't protect her… ~sob~"
He didn't want to tear up, not in front of Aponia. Not in front of anyone. He felt something inside of him saying he couldn't, that he wasn't meant to cry. After all, someone like him did not have the right to cry over anything. He didn't have any big losses yet, so why was he complaining? Just go ahead, suck it up, and keep working. Keep living. Keep moving on the path you're meant to…
"Aponia… do you believe in destiny?" He asked her in a low voice.
"I, uh…"
"You can answer as a friend."
"... In that case, you can say yes. Some people are blessed with good things since their birth. Some have wealth, others have talent. And other people are born with a lot of misfortune. They don't have loving parents or are in a harsh environment. Many people that come here blame their birth conditions for all sorts of problems in their lives."
"So, do you think these people were destined to end where they are?"
"No, not necessarily. Personally, I think people tend to follow the path that is laid before them. It's easier that way, and if something goes wrong, it's easy to shift the blame. Those who defy their fate tend to feel much more frustrated with life, but they also tend to achieve more."
"And how do I defy my destiny?"
"That's not up to me to say. In my view, there are two types of people, those who follow their destiny, and those who defy it. I'm here merely to help the former reconcile with their path, and to help the latter heal their wounds from going against the grain. How they do that, is up to each one of them."
"And… which one do you think I am?" He asked her, looking right into her eyes.
"In my professional experience, you're the type to go with the flow. But honestly… all I can see is someone who would fight destiny itself for someone you care about." She said, offering a sympathetic smile.
"Thank you, Aponia. I know I don't come very often, but thank you anyway."
"It is my pleasure. Please take care you yourself, okay?" He nodded, with a weak but sincere smile of his own.
"Oh, and one more thing. Do not stick too much with the definitions, you're free to decide for yourself."
Captain nodded again, but then something clicked in his mind.
"I am… free."
. . .
He waited until no one was in the office. No one but Alvitr, since she always stood a while longer after the shift ended. It would be easier that way to get in and out. The young man opened the door and crossed the office straight to the proof archive. It should still be there. Rummaging through the box, there it was, the pink notebook. For some reason, he felt like the answers were contained in this. Unfortunately for him, he met the gray-haired girl on his way out.
"C-Captain? What are you doing in here, aren't you on a license? And what are you doing on the archive-"
He placed a finger over her lips, silencing the girl immediately.
"Shhh, listen. I just need to look at this and check something. It'll be right where it was later, okay?"
"But-"
"~sigh~ I know, I know, the protocol. Just this time, okay?"
She slowly but surely agreed with his terms, giving him space to go, but before he went out she called for him.
"Captain… whatever you're doing, well… good luck."
Alvitr knew he was a good person, and he probably had a reason to act like that. On top of that, his wife was ill and it had affected him, even if he didn't let it show much. Sometimes she wished she had someone like him for herself…
Captain rushed to his house, closing the door behind him and going straight to the bedroom. There, he quickly began to read the diary Sussanah left behind. Something wasn't right, even after they found the suspect. Yes, he confessed, and yes, the initial theory of robbery gone wrong was correct, but he still felt it was wrong, against his best judgment. That dude didn't have a history of violent crime, and this time he committed such a brutal act? He had never fired a gun before, and somehow he got two fatal hits on her? Plus, why didn't anyone listen during the night? Why break through the window to escape? Where did he get the gun?
Why Sussanah, and not someone else?
The first half of the pages was a simple diary, the kind you would expect from a teenage girl, although filled with technical and scientific jargon. And then, somewhere eight months ago, she began to write about the personal project Dr. Einstein talked about. She seemed very enthusiastic about it for the next few weeks. Then a few days of complaining as she hit a progress wall, and then… a shift in the writing.
Sussanah must have had some sort of epiphany, for such a drastic change of writing. It was no longer the cheerful notes and comments, but a much more sober, dry, and, dare he say, dark content from now on. From two months ago to the last entries, she started to speak about the universe in a more philosophical way. Questions about existence, and what makes reality "real". And more of those weird scribbles dotting the pages, on the corners, sprinkled through the text in spaces where a drawing or a sticker would be previously.
The philosophical arguments turned into long ramblings about illusions, smokescreens, and shadowy organizations controlling the world. Finally, in the last few pages, poor Sussanah was simply repeating the same phrases again and again. Phrases about an image lurking in the shadows. Phrases about these shadows watching her all the time, where she can barely see them. Phrases about feeling isolated from everyone and everything.
Phrases about being free from determinism.
She was herself, there was no way she was being controlled by anything.
Her decisions were made by her.
She decided who she was.
She was free.
And on the next page, a drawing.
It made his blood chill as he stared at the figure. Up to now, it was but a blurry memory, but seeing this drawing made it all very clear in his mind. The figure he saw in his dreams. The shadow haunting his peripheral vision. The thing hurting Himeko.
His hands shook with fear and realization. Would it be best if this was all inside his head, or if it was real? Because if it was real, then… what should he do?
The room felt enormous again, cold and dark. The window, so distant, beckoned to him. He took a few steps towards it and all of a sudden, there he was. Unlike when he tried to enter the room where his wife was, this was all too easy. Looking outside, the city looked gloomy and lifeless, covered in mist from the rain that just stopped. When did it start to rain?
He looked at the clock by his bed.
00:00 am
He stared at the clock for more than a minute, he was sure of that. In fact, he might as well have stared for a whole hour, but the numbers refused to change. Looking back outside, there it was. Standing in the dark street, looking back at him, mocking him, taunting him. It was a challenge. Now, should he dare go up against this thing, this entity that tried to chain him down? It hurt Himeko, and it was trying to separate them.
Of course, he would.
Captain rushed outside, not bothering to pick anything to use as a weapon. He had a hunch it wouldn't be effective on this thing. The moment he stepped out, the thing was gone, but not completely. It just turned around a corner. He gave chase, running as fast as he could through the dark streets, pursuing the shadow, corner after corner, street after street, not caring for the world expanding around him, the encroaching darkness, or the dropping temperature. None of that mattered if he could catch this thing and make sure it wouldn't hurt Himeko evermore.
He ran, and ran, and ran, and for the first time in uncountable days, he never felt so alive. It was like the warmth he felt from Himeko was flowing through him, pushing him forward, and now he could see the thing in front of him. Captain pressed forward, running as much as he could, and then more. The distance decreased with every step, every breath made him focus on it until it was at arm's length.
It was within his reach.
It was in his arms.
And it was down.
The young man forced it to the floor, falling with a loud thud, and as soon as he got an opportunity, he began to bunch the thing in the face. Or at least where it was supposed to have a face. He punched the shadow under the cloak again and again, not caring for the pain in his fists. He punched until all the anger was gone. Then he punched until all the frustration was vented. Then, he punched for every second his wife has spent in that dormant state. Then… he couldn't punch anymore. Exhaustion from this long, long run and from the relentless attacks finally caught up to him. He did not know he was capable of so much, but he would go far and beyond for his loved one. He would do anything to have her by her side.
"Hahahaha… are you sure about that, Captain…?"
The voice, distorted and deep, came from underneath, from inside the shadow contained by the cloak. He was done with this secrecy, so Captain pulled out the hood, exposing the creature's face. It was… a person. A young man, much like him.
He had dark-green hair, orange eyes, pale skin, and two pairs of twisted horns on his head. His voice, no longer distorted, seemed to echo in the empty space as he laughed more.
"You seem confused, Captain. Surprised to see I'm not some eldritch abomination?"
"Who are you?! What did you do to her?!"
"Me? Tsk, tsk, I did nothing wrong Captain. It was you who broke the rules."
"Rules? What rules? What's going on? Who are you?!"
"Oh, please, Captain. You already know the answers. And you know you broke the rules again, don't you? Every time you feel like crying, every time you think differently, every time you try to do more than you can… you feel it, don't you? You feel your soul being twisted into a thousand knots, don't you?! Hahahahaha!"
"You… you did this… you hurt Himeko! You were there when she fell ill… You were always there…"
"Yes, I was. I'm always near you, Captain. I must make sure you stick to your end of the bargain."
"What… bargain?"
"Hahahaha… you know what I'm talking about. You know the price of our agreement. Look, we're here already." Said the pale man, pointing to his right, and there it was.
Captain's home, the only source of light and warmth in this cold and dark expansion.
"In the end, you always come back here. No matter how many different things you try, no matter how many times I try to make your life just a little more miserable, you always come back. To be completely sincere, I despise that about you. Not that you'll remember anyway, but I deeply despise this about you, Captain."
Captain got up, and so did the mysterious figure. It was all becoming clear now. What he did, what he always did. What he had to do.
"I'm made plenty of deals before, and I managed to crush every single one of them in due time. The last time, this boy put up more of a fight than I expected, and I ended up paying the price of being stuck like this," said the creature as he walked to the gate of the house. "but you… you're something else, and I detest you to the depths of the abyss. I hate your existence to the heights of the stars. I loathe the very concept of you with the intensity of a supernova. Just the mere fact I have to attain myself to these physical constructs makes my blood boil, ahhhhh…"
Captain stood by the gate too, looking inside the door, which slowly opened, letting him see a little of what was inside. A warm, cozy light invited him.
"Captain… You have done something unforgivable, and now you will pay the price. You will pay a thousand times more, and hundreds of thousands, and thousands of millions… until I obliterate you completely, and there is no trace of your cursed, bright soul. Only then, I shall free myself from this hideous existence. And until then, I'll be here to keep you away from what you desire the most. After all… isn't that what you wanted?"
He gestured for Captain to walk inside.
"Didn't you say you would give away anything for her?"
Captain walked inside, ignoring the laughter echoing, and the darkness surrounding his body and the corners of his vision. All that mattered was ahead of him. His house, his home, the reason for him to live. His love.
"You're not a hero, Captain. You can't save her. You can't save yourself. You can't stop me. You can't escape your fate."
. . .
All you can do is try. Run and never reach the final line. Fight and drop at the last round.
Did you really think you were in control? Did you really think your decisions were made by you?
Reach your hand all you want, you'll always be just a little too far.
You'll always be there, almost seeing the light…
Stuck on the verge of dawn.
. .
He stirred in his sleep, eyebrows furrowed and lips twisted upside down. His hands grasped the covers searching for security, but they lacked the strength to do so in that state. Asleep, restless. Restrained.
A little more turning slowly woke the person lying on the bed next to him. Both were heavy sleepers, but the weak nudges brought her back from dreamland. Groaning softly, she turned around, gently rubbing the shoulder of her partner while he complained in his sleep.
"Hey… hey, sweetie… wake up, honey…" She shook him as softly as possible. Waking him up out of a sudden wasn't good, but he had to wake up still.
With one sharp inhale, his eyes opened. Releasing a long sigh, the young man rubbed his eyes, removing the sand while he felt an arm sneak around his body. He had grown used to the source of warmth making contact with his back, but it didn't take away from its soothing effect.
"Another bad dream?" Her voice, although a little rough from awakening just now, had an even greater calming effect. She was here.
"Yes… I'm sorry."
"Shhh, it's okay," She hugged him tighter, planting a soft peck on his cheek and nesting her chin at the crane of his neck. "It's out of your control, honey, you don't have to feel bad. And you don't have to apologize to me."
He did not answer. The images were almost gone from his memory, as most dreams, good or bad, go when you get up in the morning. What didn't leave was the feeling behind it. The world around him looked still, colorless, and cold, except for the embrace of his dearest wife. If it wasn't for her, who knows what would be of him?
"We can stay on the bed today if you want." She suggested, brushing his hair with her fingers.
He slowly got up, the blankets falling back as he sat on the bed.
"Are you going already? It's pretty early," She said, looking at the clock.
05:32 am
Hey, hello guys. It's ya boy, with a (late) Halloween prompt. I couldn't let the spooky season go by without at least one short work, and I've never tried to write horror before, so there you go. It's for a little contest at the discord server I hang around (I think the link is in my bio, for anyone interested). Now, I have no idea how to actually make you get the spooks via text, as you may have noticed, so tell me what you think. Is it really scary? Bone-chilling? At least intriguing?
Welp, that's about it. As always, thank you for reading, and until next time~
