Chapter 1: Quite a Switch.
Hedon was an asshole. No really, or at least he was according to the girl who just turned him down. He didn't care though, he tried to be nice to others, and you can't please everyone, especially those you ask out.
'All well, I might as well head for class,' he thought. He started heading for the right room in the campus business building. He looked up at the higher stories from the atrium. The upper floors were boarded up with plywood after a tragic incident which happened last semester. An overstressed accounting student had jumped to her death from the highest floor. Remembering this made Hedon shudder.
He tried to put those thoughts out of his mind. This particular class he was heading to was one he enjoyed. Logistics might sound boring to some, but it was right up Hedon's alley. Hedon started going up the stairs as he checked his watch. '12:47, but class begins at 1:15, what will I do with all that time? I already did the reading for class.'
That's when Hedon remembered the Nintendo Switch he had placed in his backpack for just such an occasion, and it had his favorite game inside: Nier Automata. Hedon promised himself that he'd review his flashcards of financial ratios before playing. When he was outside his classroom, he found a bench in the hall where he plopped down his backpack and started reviewing for his finance test. This predictably lasted a mere three minutes before he pulled out his Switch and started playing. He was making the worst mistake of his life.
Several pleasurable minutes passed with 2B and 9S when a gregarious seven foot tall classmate came up to him.
"What are you playing?"
"Nier Automata."
"Never heard of it."
"That's because you play too many sports games on your Xbox," Hedon chuckled.
His classmate laughed, "what's wrong with football?
"Nothing if you like to play it."
"I do like to play it."
"No way, are you on our college's team?"
"I sure am, I'm a linebacker."
"I bet I could take you," Hedon joked.
"You wanna go? I'm good at tackling."
"James, you couldn't tackle a fish."
Just then, James picked Hedon up off the bench playfully.
"Hey, let me down," said Hedon, laughingly. "What if I-"
Just then people were exiting a classroom. James must have bumped into someone, either that or tripped because he fell forward hard into one of the plywood boards preventing another suicide attempt in the building. Hedon's back smashed into the board causing it to fall to the ground and his legs caught onto the railing, causing him to fall over backwards towards the atrium below. He panicked and screamed. He hated the sensation of falling. He hoped his death would be quick. That's the last thing he remembered as he blacked out.
"Hey, wake up!"
Hedon's back ached.
"Just who the fuck are you?"
Groaning, Hedon started opening his eyes. All the sudden, he felt a sharp pain in his side and yelped. He'd been kicked! Looking up, he discovered that his irate kicker was a girl with incredibly cute features. She was dirty, and, what the Hell? She was half naked! He stood up quickly, and there in front of him was the spitting image of A2 from Nier Automata.
"Are you Resistance?" she asked savagely. "Don't you know it's dangerous to nap here? There are machines around, moron."
"A2?"
The girl assumed a battle stance. "How the bitch tits do you know my name, asshole?"
Being called an asshole felt familiar somehow. He looked around, confused and blurry headed. Everything around him looked rocky. He felt something pointy against his chest and backed up a bit.
A2 was pointing a straight and jagged sword at his heart. "Answer me, dumbass! It wouldn't be the first time I've killed an android. Are you Resistance or not?"
"I'm not Resistance. I'm not an android either. Is this some stupid prank?"
"What do you mean you're not an android? Did you hit your head or something?"
"No, or maybe I did hit my head, I don't know. Anyway, I'm human."
A2 laughed hysterically, "okay, now that's the funniest shit I've heard in a long time. You, human? Do you have any proof?"
"Yes, I know all about you."
"Oh, then you must be from YoRHa."
"No, I'm not from YoRHa, listen to me. I know about how YoRHa betrayed you. There was that… what was it called? The Pearl Harbor descent, and they abandoned you to die, they wanted you to die, and they've been hunting you ever since, right?"
"Why are you pretending to be my guardian fucking angel? Only a few people know those things. You're just convincing me even more that you're from YoRHa."
Hedon was panicking, she could kill him in a split second. "Fuck YoRHa, they lied about humans being on the Moon."
"What?"
"There are no humans on the Moon, like you, I also know that YoRHa is founded on a lie, so I don't like them either."
"What… the… fuck? You admit it? And I thought that fuckwad Commander was the only one in YoRHa who knew."
"Yeah the Commander's a bitch. I'm not your enemy, if anything, I'm on your side. Would you please point me to the nearest Resistance camp?"
"You say you're human? What if I check right now, and when I find out you're lying, I'll pluck out your eyeballs and shove them down your neck?"
"How will you tell I'm human?"
"I'll dissect you," A2 joked. "Lie flat on your stomach."
Hedon complied immediately, and A2 sat on his back. She felt around his neck and head.
"You're a weird little fellow, aren't you?"
"What do you mean?"
A2 flipped Hedon around on his back and examined his eyes closely.
"I've never seen an android built like you. Your eyes are so…"
She opened his mouth, looked up his nose, and then lifted up his t-shirt and felt over his stomach and chest roughly. Her touch hurt, couldn't she be more gentle?
"Hmmm… you sure look human, and there are no access points. Hang on, let me try hacking into you."
She closed her eyes for a few seconds, then opened them in wonder. "You'd better not be fucking with me."
"That's what I was thinking. This seems like a prank to me. You're not from my college?"
"College? What's that bullshit?"
Hedon laughed in spite of himself. "Sometimes, I ask myself the same question."
"Alright, you've got my interest. Prove you're human."
"How?"
"Good point. I'll just hack into you a different way."
A2 lifted her sword to strike him. Hedon flinched as the sword came down, grazing his ear. A2 leaned down sensually, looked at the blood closely, then started sucking on his bleeding ear to get a sense of what the liquid was made of. She jumped up.
"HOLY BASTARD'S BEARD!" she screamed, "THAT'S REAL BLOOD!" A2 looked horrified and stepped back, "I am so sorry for hurting you!"
Hedon's chest was beating a mile a minute from fear. 'Who is this crazy bitch?' he thought to himself. But he regained his composure a little.
She asked, "what can I do to make it better? I don't have a clean cloth."
Hedon smiled a little at the crude joke he knew he shouldn't make. "You could keep sucking it," he said suggestively. To his astonishment, A2 got right down on her hands and knees and started sucking on his ear, moaning a little.
"Woah, um… that's enough."
A2 got up and helped Hedon to his feet. "We have to get you somewhere safe, you're in danger here."
"Alright, let's go."
A2 led him into a desert area. Several thin and very tall machines watched them, and a few approached.
"Get away from him, shiny pieces of shit!" A2 demolished every machine in sight in a few seconds.
'Woah, this is exactly like Nier Automata, and it's not like a real girl could pull off those moves. This can't be a prank. What's going on?'
"Hey A2."
"Yes?"
"Do you think YoRHa would listen to me because I'm human?"
"What do you mean, listen?"
"I mean if I told YoRHa to leave you alone, would they?"
A2 looked at him like a deer in headlights. "I don't know, they'd probably consider me a danger to you and kill me anyway. Why?"
"I'd like you to be my bodyguard."
"That's what I'm doing right now, isn't it? Follow me."
They ran, with A2 constantly looking behind her at the human, and scanning for threats. All of a sudden, she stopped dead in her tracks.
"Wait a minute, when you say bodyguard, you mean permanently, not just until you're somewhere safe?"
"Yes, permanently."
They began running again.
"You shouldn't want anything to do with me once you're safe. My body's degrading every day, and I'm no good at conversation." A2 said that, but Hedon noticed a huge goofy smile on her face.
Several minutes later, they were passing under a bridge, with many machines hobbling around in docile attitude. A2 smashed through them explosively. She turned around as the human panted, and caught up to her.
"Where did you come from?"
"I don't know, I think I was falling to my death, and then I woke up where you found me."
"Did you hit your head?"
"I don't think so."
"You must have, or else you'd remember more. I get it, you fell from the rocks where I found you, thought you were going to die, became unconscious, then I woke you. Are you sure you don't remember where you came from?"
Hedon was confused for a moment, then realized what she meant. "I was in a building surrounded by people, and I fell. That's all I remember."
"What? That doesn't make any sense. There are more people, where?"
"Never mind that right now, I'll explain later."
"Right."
They continued the brief remainder of their journey until they reached a familiar sight: the Resistance camp from Nier Automata.
"What was in my Switch?"
"What was that?" A2 looked confused, and a little concerned.
"Oh, nothing."
A2's concern only grew. They approached Anemone.
"Number 2, you're alive!"
"Hey, Anemone. Sorry I haven't been in touch."
"You're alive, that's all that matters. Who's this with you?"
"That, I believe, is a human being. He's not built like any android I know of, and he bleeds real blood. His name is Hedon."
"Are you serious?"
"Sure am, check him yourself."
"Wait, there are two red-headed girls here who know a thing or two about humans. They can verify whether he really is one."
"You mean Devola and Popola?" Hedon asked.
"Do you know them?"
"No, but I know of them."
"Oh," Anemone said, guiltily. "Their kind are partly responsible for the failure of Project Gestalt, so I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to talk to them."
"I actually do want to talk to them, and I don't blame them at all."
"In that case, let me call them. Hey, Devola! Bring your sister and come over here!"
Devola groaned visibly from about thirty feet away, called to her sister, and approached them.
"What is it now, Anemone, we're busy."
"Would you mind examining him and telling me what kind of android he is?"
"Why do you need us to do that for you?"
"Just do it for me."
"Alright, alright," she said, sighing.
Popola joined her as Devola began looking at Hedon's neck and head.
"What the Hell? He looks human. Is he a new model, where did he come from?"
"We think he might be human. Can you find out for me?"
"Sure, but it'll cost you."
"You wanted that truck for your errands? If you can figure out whether he's human or not, consider it yours."
Devola and Popola perked up at that. They didn't think he was really human, but they wanted the truck.
"Alright, um… open your mouth for me."
The twins gave him a quick impromptu medical exam.
"What's that cut on your ear?"
A2 admitted guiltily, "I cut him to see and taste his blood. It's not like our synthetic oil/coolant mixture, his is real blood like an animal's."
"That could be a trick, filling him with some animal's blood to throw us off," Devola speculated.
Hedon was losing patience, "oh come on, there must be some way to establish that I'm human."
"There is," said Popola, "we need a sample of your urine to analyze."
"Oh all right."
Twenty minutes later, the twins came back after testing the sample. They walked slowly as if dreading something.
"Um, Anemone…"
"Yeah, Popola?"
"He's… really human."
"But, but how? Where did you come from?"
Hedon explained his story, minus the part about the Nier Automata video game, which he thought would seem too strange for them, like he was making it up.
"Wow, that's weird," said Anemone. "Pardon me, sir, my name is Anemone, and I am at your service." She bowed.
"We are too," said the twins bowing.
"I'm glad you're safe. I'll be going now."
"Wait, A2!"
"What is it?"
"Please stay with me."
"I can't say no to you, but you should reconsider. I'm not fit to keep you safe."
"I think you are, and besides that, I think you're cool. I want you around."
"In that case, it'll be my honor to serve you." She knelt down.
"Oh, you don't need to do that."
She stood up, a new sense of purpose in her eyes. "Oh, I should do something about my appearance. My clothes wore out a long time ago, and it's a little embarrassing standing around you like this."
Hedon looked at her and blushed, "new clothes wouldn't be bad, but I don't mind how you look now."
Popola cut in, "regardless, we need to take care of your needs. Are you hungry or thirsty?"
"Well, I could use some water."
"We'll work on a way to filter it."
Anemone spoke next, "I have a room available. It's not much, but it's the best we can do for now. It's occupied at the moment, but you can stay there. The androids using it will understand completely. Just give me a moment to talk to them." Anemone started walking to the other end of the camp.
Hedon looked at his companion, and saw her staring at him, a bright smile plastered on her face.
'Damn, her eyes are pretty when she's happy,' he thought.
"What is it?"
"It's just… no, never mind."
A2 giggled a bit, "what is it?"
"Well, your eyes are so pretty."
"Haha, I bet you say that to every girl."
"No, I don't."
"You really mean it, you think my eyes are pretty?"
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
A2 looked flustered, she took a step back, and…
"Get the Hell away from him!"
A2 jumped in front of Hedon, her sword swinging ferociously, parrying a blow from a charging 2B. The two started fighting ferociously in the middle of camp.
"No, stop 2B, don't hurt her!" the human yelled. Anemone was yelling as well for them to stop.
9S grabbed the human from behind and started dragging him into the fenced off part of the camp. "Let go of me, 9S! You don't know what you're doing!"
"I'm sorry, sir, but this is for your own safety."
"A2, subdue her, but don't kill her!" he yelled.
"Got it," he heard her yell in the distance.
"9S, if A2 gets hurt, I'm holding you and 2B responsible."
"How do you know our names, did A2 tell you about us?"
"No she didn't, but I know all about you 9S. You're extremely curious, your nickname is Nines, and you're in love with 2B."
9S released him and muttered, "how do you know all that?"
"No time to explain. Listen, there are no humans on the Moon. YoRHa is lying. Help me save A2, please!"
9S started running towards the fray, "I hope you're right." He hacked into 2B, and a moment later, she fell, immobile on her face. "I'm sorry 2B."
A2, her sword raised, looked for Hedon.
He ran to her. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, are you?"
"I'm pissed off you were attacked."
Anemone's commanding voice rang out, "2B and 9S, you started a fight in the middle of camp and put a human being in danger in the process. You are hereby banned from setting foot here again."
"Anemone?"
"Yes, Hedon, what is it?"
"I need them, please let them stay."
"What do you need them for?"
"I need to get in touch with YoRHa before they cause any more problems. They can put me in contact with them."
"Oh, very well."
"A2, were you hurt even a little?"
"No."
The human knelt down next to 2B, who was now laying on her back thanks to 9S. He whispered in her ear, "if you ever hurt A2, or try to again, you'll regret it." He stood up, "the four of us need to go somewhere private, I need to explain some things, and I have a few favors to ask of YoRHa."
"Just go to my room," suggested Anemone. "But no fighting, I'm serious!"
9S helped 2B to her feet. She was just starting to regain her motor functions.
They went to Anemone's room and closed the door. This is when Hedon realized that although the world was the same, this wasn't like playing Nier Automata at all. He had gone from playing The End of YoRHa on Switch during study breaks to living in this dangerous world. He hoped the ending of his own story would be much happier than the one in the game.
