One

The balcony of the apartment that Kathy shared with Elliot and Eli was her favorite part of their home. Despite the noise of the crazy Roman traffic, the air here was exhilarating, and the view was unbeatable. Kathy sat in one the two deck chairs, leisurely sipping the excellent coffee that she'd grown accustomed to but tried not to take for granted. Though it was a mid-February afternoon, the temperature was close to sixty degrees Fahrenheit.

Kathy would never get over how much she loved this city. Rome was a place she had heard about all her Catholic life. Truth be told, other cities had held more fascination for Kathy when she thought of the places she wanted to visit, like Paris and London. Now, she'd been fortunate enough to see all three cities in the last ten years more than once, but Rome had become dearer to her than any other place this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Much of that was due to how much Eli loved it and thrived here. He was a smart student, especially in English, and loved playing soccer – no, football – every chance he got. He was more introverted than her other children, except for Lizzie, but he had a good group of friends and teammates who brought him out of his shell. Kathy had never liked the term 'soccer mom' in America, but here she took it as a badge of honor.

It was amazing to think that her youngest had lived much more of his life in Europe than in America. Eli went to an international school with many students from America and England, but he spoke Italian much more fluently than her or Elliot. The times that they'd gone back to the New York, Eli would look around the city like a tourist, his siblings feeling more like distant relatives, especially because of the age difference.

Kathy sighed, finishing her coffee and setting aside the mug. Of course that was the biggest drawback to their European life – the rest of their family was over 3,000 miles away. Not a day went by that she didn't wish her other four children were living in the same city, especially in the last year with the global pandemic hitting everyone. Her family had been lucky so far on both sides of the pond.

Even before COVID, though, Kathy couldn't say that she'd seen the rest of her children nearly enough. The three of them had only come back to New York four times since they'd officially moved overseas. Her four older children visited them more than they had come to New York, and those four times they'd visited had been the only four times that the whole family of seven had been together in the last ten years.

As her thoughts went down this melancholy path, Kathy heard the front door of their apartment open through the open balcony door, and two sets of footsteps she knew very well came closer. She turned her head as Eli came out and said, "Hey, Mom."

"Hi, honey," said Kathy, raising her hand to squeeze his upper arm, one of the few forms of physical contact that her thirteen-year-old son would tolerate from her. "How was school?"

Eli let out a sound that was a cross between 'meh' and 'ugh' in a tone that clearly stated it was boring.

"Come on," said Elliot, stepping out onto the balcony and ruffling Eli's long hair, knowing it would bug him. "For a bilingual kid, that's just pathetic."

"It was fine, just a normal day, ok?" Eli almost whined.

Elliot lifted his hand in surrender as he sat in the other deck chair.

"How was your English test?" asked Kathy.

"Good," said Eli, looking her straight in the eyes with a careless shrug, and Kathy knew that he probably aced it. "Can I sleep over at Michael's house tonight, Mom? We can go to the game from his house tomorrow."

Since it was a Friday and they were friendly with Michael's family, Kathy replied, "As long as it's alright with his parents, it's alright with me."

Eli grinned and turned towards the balcony door. But Kathy stopped him before he left.

"And let me know when you're leaving. There's a book I borrowed from Michael's mother that you can return for me."

Eli huffed a teenage sigh but nodded before walking back inside towards his bedroom to pack.

Elliot and Kathy shared a laugh before both turned their heads towards the spectacular view from their balcony. After a moment, Kathy looked at her husband out of the corner of her eye. He was relaxed, which means he had the same kind of day as Eli. This relieved her, because she knew the current case he was working on was tough. During dinner, she would broach the topic of making a visit to New York, possibly during Eli's spring break. Elliot had mentioned he may need to make a trip back to the city because of this case soon…

The peaceful silence was broken by Elliot's phone ringing. Sighing, he pulled it out and looked at the number on the screen. "Unknown number, but looks like it's from New York," he said. Standing up, he said, "Sorry, Kath, I gotta take this, it's probably about the case."

Kathy nodded, leaning her head back on the seat and shutting her eyes, her mind beginning to think of what to make for dinner since it would be just the two of them. She heard Elliot say, "Stabler," his standard greeting when answering the phone for anyone other than family, as he walked towards the balcony door.

But then his footsteps abruptly stopped. Kathy opened her eyes and turned her head. Elliot was standing in the doorway, his back ramrod-straight and his phone pressed to his ear.


The last voice he expected to hear spoke in Elliot's ear through his phone.

"Elliot Stabler. It's been a long time, man."

Those words from that voice stopped him cold in the doorway. He stood frozen for what could only have been a few seconds but felt like hours before Elliot spoke in a choked voice.

"Fin? Is that really you?"

"The one and only."

Ice cold fear pierced Elliot's heart as it sank in that Fin was really calling him. And there could only be one reason for Fin to call him.

"Liv…Fin, is she…please don't tell me th–"

"No, Elliot. Liv is just fine. But she is the reason why I'm calling."

Elliot reached out his free hand to rest against the door frame as he felt himself breathe again. "What is it, then? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. The Captain is being awarded next month, the top honor for Women in Law Enforcement."

Elliot let out another shaky breath to fight against the emotion clogging his throat. "Captain? She made Captain?"

"Last year. Been in charge of the unit for a while now, ever since Cragen retired and she took her sergeant's exam. Made me take mine not too long ago."

"Oh," said Elliot dumbly. Of course Liv was still at SVU. This was her vocation, and she'd risen as far as she could go. But Fin, that surprised him a little bit. "You're still at SVU?"

And he immediately regretted asking that question when he heard Fin's answer.

"I'll go when she goes."

If Elliot weren't already holding onto the doorway, he was sure that would have brought him to his knees. Regret that he carried with him every day threatened to crush him now hearing that. Hearing Fin affirm that he was doing what Elliot was supposed to be doing. His mind went back ten years to a video call he'd had with Liv at the precinct during the case that would take Sonya Paxton from them. What he'd said and what an eavesdropping Fin had said in reply.

"Well, Fin may have your six, but he's definitely not me."

"No, I'm better. I actually watch her back and not her backside."

Elliot was brought back to the present by Fin speaking again.

"Anyway, I'm sending you an e-mail right now with all the details. You should be there, Elliot. Say a few words."

"I-I…" Elliot struggled to speak, overwhelmed by the events of the last minute and a half. His mind scrambled for a response. "Fin, I don't –"

"Stop, Stabler. You have no excuses. The worst of the pandemic is over, and I hear you need to come back to New York for a case, anyway. Even without that, you shouldn't need those reasons. Liv deserves this recognition and honor, and she deserves to hear it from everybody she cares about. Especially you. It's been too long, and you know it. Don't prove to us that you're still the same rat bastard you were when you walked out."

Fin spoke in a tone that Elliot had once been all too familiar with. It was the same tone of voice Fin used on suspects that were trying his patience. It was the same tone he used the first time he had called out Elliot for being a rat bastard – a good cop but a lousy human being.

And hadn't he spent the last ten years proving that point?

Gulping, Elliot grounded himself with a deep breath before saying hoarsely. "Send me the details and I'll get back to you."

"You'd better. I'm not above flying over there to kick your ass and bring back up with me if you let her down again."

The line went dead and Elliot lowered the phone slowly from his ear. And until she said his name, he'd completely forgotten that Kathy had overheard his side of the phone call.

"Elliot?"

Turning, Elliot faced Kathy, who was now standing between the deck chairs with a curious yet concerned look on her face. His mind took a cowardly turn, trying to think of an excuse or lie to tell her, but Fin's words were still ringing in his ear.


"You remember Fin Tutuola? That was him just now."

Kathy nodded. "Yeah, he was on SVU, too." She had only met the man a few times, but he was easy to recall in her memory. And his name wasn't the only name she'd heard Elliot say on that phone call. "He called about Olivia?"

Mentally, she patted herself on the back for saying that name for the first time in years seamlessly through the lump that formed in her throat.

Elliot nodded slowly, opening his phone again and pulling up his emails. "Yeah…she's Captain of the squad now, and she's getting honored by the brass next month. Women in law enforcement."

He turned his phone around to show her the official virtual invitation that Fin had just sent him. It was simple, without any pictures or graphics, but had all of the event information clearly printed. Did Elliot feel the need to show this to her now to show he wasn't lying? The thought made Kathy quite sad, and fueled her firm answer.

"Well, of course we're going."

Elliot's shocked expression would have made her laugh if Kathy wasn't desperately trying to remain calm, as if they hadn't spent the last decade pretending that her husband's old partner didn't exist.

Kathy plowed forward. "You need to go back for a case anyway, and we haven't seen the other kids since the pandemic hit. We can work our trip around that and Olivia's ceremony. We'll have to leave Eli behind, though, since he'll have school and soccer, but he had easily stay with Michael or another friend while we're gone."

Elliot listened to all of this with that shocked look on his face. "Are you sure, Kath?"

Those words were like an iceberg, with so much underneath four little words. But Kathy ignored it, keeping the calm and casual look on her face and in her voice.

"Of course. This is a big deal for Olivia, and you had a big hand in helping her get there. You said she's a Captain now? That's amazing. Of course we should be there. We'll start making the arrangements tomorrow. Now, I'm going to get dinner started."

With that, Kathy walked past him back into the apartment. Only when she knew Elliot couldn't see her face did her face reflect the turmoil brought to light by that phone call.

Her only comfort was knowing that Elliot had to be feeling the same way, probably worse. And Kathy would take any comfort she could.