Standing at Freddy's grave with Cook right beside her, Effy took a deep breath and squeezed his hand as she began to picture her lost lover in her mind. Every detail came rushing back into her mind despite all the effort she'd made to keep them at bay during the time she'd been spending with Cook... And it drowned her. She wanted to scream. To cry. To run away and never look back. Except she couldn't run away from what was in her own heart. She didn't think that there would ever be a day when Freddie would fade from her memory, and she knew for certain that she could never love anyone else the way that she had loved him.

But she would try. For the sake of her sanity, and to stop Cook from suffering the same fate as Freddy, she was going to try.

It should have been simple. Keep Freddie in her heart, but continue moving forward. But it wasn't that simple for her. Nothing had ever been easy, and losing the only person she'd ever truly loved, was just the straw that had broken the camel's back. The camel, of course, being herself.

"Are you ready to do this, Ef?" Cook asked, turning his head to look at her.

Effy opened her eyes and looked back at him, feeling as though he was staring right into her soul. "No." She answered.

Cook tilted his head, clearly confused. She wasn't surprised. There weren't many people who truly understood the way she spoke or the inner workings of her mind, the only exceptions being Freddy and her brother, Tony.

"No, Cookie. I'm not ready... But that's the thing... I will never be ready." She explained, speaking more clearly this time.

"I- I don't understand." He stammered.

"Of course you don't. No one ever does." She commented, her voice hazy as though her mind wasn't present.

"What?" Cook questioned, his brow furrowing.

"I'm not going to ever be ready to let go of what I had with Freddy, and I will never be able to forget about the way he was murdered; and because of my stupidity too." She explained. "But for your sake, Cookie, I'm going to try." She added.

"Well, if that's the case then what the fuck are we doing here, Ef?" He asked.

"Letting go... Or at least, trying to." She told him, and as if on que, Freddy appeared in front of her.

"Oi, Ef! Look at me!" Cook demanded, watching as her focus shifted to the grave in front of them.

"Effy... He's right. Look at him." Freddy spoke.

"Don't want to." She responded to them both.

"What do you mean you don't want to? Make yourself bloody clear." Cook pleaded desperately.

"I know you don't want to. But you need to." Freddy told her gently.

"Effy Stonem doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to." She answered, speaking of herself as though she were just a character in a book.

Cook sighed in frustration and ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair. He'd always struggled to understand Effy. Even before her suicide attempt and Freddy's murder, she'd never spoken in a way that had made any sense. And from what her brother, Tony, had said, she didn't really speak at all. It frustrated him so much because he wanted to understand her. Especially now. He couldn't have cared less a few months ago about how she spoke, it was her choice after all, but at this time; a time when he'd really been trying to understand her and to help her, it made him mad. There was no way he'd be able to help her one bit if he couldn't learn to understand her.

"Listen to him, Effy." Freddy told her.

"I don't want to." She whispered.

"Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. For your sake, please... Listen to him." Freddy pleaded.

"He's here... Isn't he?" Cook questioned, knowing the answer already although he didn't get a word out of her. "Alright, Ef... If you're not going to listen to me, then please listen to him." He pleaded, feeling like a crack had just formed down the middle of his heart.

"Freddy, I can't... I can't move on." She stammered.

"You have to. I... I'm gone, Effy. I was murdered, and as much as it pains me to leave you, there's no way back. But if you don't move on, then I'll be stuck here forever." Freddy spoke softly.

Effy drew in a breath and then let it go. She didn't want to be at the grave, having to say goodbye to Freddy. But these were the consequences of her actions. If she hadn't done what she did, then he would still be here with her and she wouldn't be having to say goodbye. She glanced down at her feet, biting her lip as she tried to put off saying what needed to be said, and then she raised her head to look at Freddie again. This time she didn't just look; she took in every little detail of him. His mocha coloured skin, his chocolate brown eyes and the black hair that fell into them. She locked her eyes on him, knowing that this would be the last time he would ever stand before her. Once she said goodbye, there would be no next time.