Always And Forever

Story 8: Expectations Vs. Reality


Castle Daventry didn't have a healer currently, so the royal couple were forced to awkwardly walk into the unofficially retired previous healer's backyard caught in an even less graceful state in front of a table placing the final stick on a pyramid of them. The man was there when King Edward passed, so he was able to successfully greet them formally even if caught by surprise.

No one wanted to be here on this fine day, but they faked it especially when benches were set up right there complete with the man taking over his healer role like he never left with a thick journal in front of an equally serious Vee subconsciously holding her stomach with one hand while Graham clutched the other.

Graham was in too deep to watch Vee die. It was bad enough that he had been mostly useless the whole time they had been trying to ignore or downplay the symptoms... He couldn't even blink because he feared tears finally escaping. He wore a blank mask best he could but doubted its effectiveness immediately. He hated the idea the healer was getting the full extent of his emotions, but he couldn't leave her side.

Because his heated, wet hand was pretty much stuck to hers now.

"I'll examine you as soon as we can pry the king's hand off, Queen Valanice." The healer explained. "In the meantime, please tell me your symptoms. If King Graham would like to assist, that's fine. If not, we'll survive somehow."

"Well, if my tracking was accurate then I should have bled. But I haven't seen anything..." Vee begun effortlessly despite the topic.

The healer made a sound of acknowledgment as he began writing.

"I've never missed one." Vee assured him, brows low and knitting to form a stern look. "Never. I pay as much attention to my body's signals as I can, don't put it through any more stress than it can take."

The healer looked like he wanted to challenge her but contained himself impressively. Graham made a mental note to ask how he did it because he must have run into quirky people in his line of work.

Vee ultimately returned to perfectly calm, even with a slight wince from presumably more stomach pain. Graham felt her, instinctively wrapped his arm around and pulled her even closer. Their cheeks touched and bodies smushed while Vee was turning a soft pink but not complaining. Graham was sure he looked infinitely more self-conscious but there was no going back now.

The healer was professional, not smirking as he gestured for Vee to continue except when he did.

Proximity was honestly more of a coping mechanism for Graham. Vee allowed them to stay like that, even stroking his knuckles as she continued.

"But I have some of the symptoms I've always endured: the stomach pain, nausea and fatigue. I hate spending days in bed, but I've had no choice this week. At least it's a little better now; the symptoms switch randomly."


Vee would never admit to sulking, but there was no better description for pulling her knees close as she attempted to shrink, wrapping her arms around them. Her appearance allowed her not to speak the word she thought he, as a man, would be uncomfortable hearing.

So, Graham creakily sat by her on the edge of the bed, smiling even with his own face scorching. He realized he might come off contradicting but took the risk to cheer her up. "I'm not disgusted; it's something I've had to learn the basics about growing up in a mostly female home. And I'm not nearly close enough to women in town, but I can sense when they're unusually tired. I might not understand how it actually feels, but I know it's overwhelming."

Vee slowly turned to look, then just stared at him making the heat crawl past his cheeks with his growing nervous smile. She couldn't have been contemplating what to say, not with her eyebrows dipping and the slight chewing on her bottom lip.

"So just let me know what you need." Graham finished as pathetic as he started with a satisfying enough clap.

Finally, Vee sighed, picking at the blanket and shuffling her feet. Her murmuring was barely loud enough even when Graham closed the gap with his head leaning in. But when she said it again, accepting the hand he offered, it came out clearly with effort.

Sometimes it was easy to forget their relationship advanced enough this wasn't weird unless purposefully. Graham was normally the one asking if this or that was okay. Still, he was motivated by encouraging eyes.

It wasn't often they lingered in bed until close to afternoon, but Graham massaging Vee's stomach and pelvis was definitely a first. He started hesitant, but when Vee's features relaxed and she snuggled closer there was no doubt he succeeded somehow.

God of choice be praised – he believed he was doing something right for at least two minutes.


As Vee's nausea struck harder than stomach pain, she wasn't able to work or have fun. She didn't want to look immature complaining; a feeling Graham knew all too well. So, he didn't call her out; he just rushed to give a container to catch her last meal.

Vee cringed under his gaze in the moments she lost control, although Graham never complained. Then her tired and embarrassed state turned to blank disbelief as she asked how he was real. Graham clammed up at the idea of one more existential crisis.

Now Vee finally felt okay enough to step outside under a tree to read. Graham was trying not to disturb her when he approached ungracefully. She didn't close the book but pecked his lips suggesting his presence wasn't horrible.

"You can join me, Graham." She had to say outright since he'd still find a 'reason' to flee.

The spot next to her was tempting, but Graham shook his head. He 'bothered' her for a real reason he decided to speak. "I just wanted to know if you burn or boil tea leaves."

The question had them both searching each other's eyes in awkward silence.

"I don't know anything about tea; my mother used to drink it, but I never cared to learn about it..." Graham trailed off, failing to not show desperation.

"Boil the leaves." Vee told him. "Then-"

He was already gone.

Until he made contact with the door, then had to go all the way back.

Vee returned to her book, barely peeking at him. Graham flashed her a smile like there wasn't smoke in the kitchen contrary to the frantic splashing inside.

"Let's say I wanted to make a soothing tea-" Graham was ready to ramble until his words died, realizing Vee was looking around him. He stepped to the side, following her gaze.

Small grey clouds flew out of the kitchen window, the aforementioned noise quieted as a guard heroically tossed a charred and dripping bundle into the yard. Problem, where?


Every time Graham wanted to believe he was helpful, one success was destroyed by failure. Even if the vows he stated were nothing out of the ordinary, said time and time again because his own variation would have made no sense even to Vee... He believed in them. Don't think he forgot the part about sickness and health, although his mind interpreted specifically an ill Vee as something he needed to solve as her husband. Meanwhile, he was still human with the limitations of it.

Those limitations were acceptable until he couldn't help Vee.

He especially hated silence the healer went into as he reviewed all the notes and his expression made deliberate alternations to cycle to throw them off. Graham didn't feel alone noticing when Vee flashed a perplexed expression his way.

The notebook shutting signaled the end of a short consultation. "I suggest more visits in the next few months to make certain, but I believe Queen Valanice will see the physical changes soon."

Graham's steel grip on Vee's hand was necessary as he prepared for every nightmare scenario ever.

The healer approached the queen of Daventry with an outstretched hand as his gentle smile stretched on wrinkled spots. "I could be wrong, but I'm confident saying: congratulations."


It felt like time slowed to a crawl but given how the moon was finally showing from the clouds and streaming into the castle yard it had been hours. Unknown hours, who was counting, yet the topic hadn't been mentioned since. It was one they would have attempted to joke about before, saying a child of theirs could either be the wisest and most rational in the world or be the equivalent of reasoning with a wall while taking the world's problems on their back.

"The tea came out great this time." Vee casually told him, returning to his side with two steaming cups. "I think the visit was successful after all: the healer was able to provide the known effects of certain teas on pregnancy symptoms."

She was too casual. Graham whipped his head to her, reaching out for his own cup like his puppet master lost the strings. He imagined his face was the same blank, slow processing. He should have used remaining daylight for outdoor distractions but was near catatonic.

Not even Vee mostly leaning against his shoulder and chest helped, so how could tea do anything? That didn't stop them both from just drinking in 'peace' for a moment.

"I always told myself that if I fell in love, my life would end." Vee said, stealing glances with a straight face. "What else could I expect? A wedding, children and the storybook closes? Not that I had a high chance of wasting emotions on the one or two suitors who couldn't reach the exit door fast enough."

Graham had no choice but to leave his own head long enough to hear this; he was kind of stuck in the middle of the tree trunk and Vee. But with honey lemon quickly warming his chest and Vee making his heart leap, he didn't mind. It was just her sounding like she was opening up that caught him off guard, especially when she had a simple confession.

"I don't want children..." Pause for drama. "With anyone else."

Graham's eyes instantly gained enough pressure to burst into tears. He knew he was going to when attempts to reply made his throat tighten to hold back what he wanted to say. What he wanted to say versus the negative thoughts swirling in his head, waiting to be blurted.

I will be the worst father anyone could be stuck with-

I can barely take care of myself some days-

I'm going to fail this baby somehow-

Vee's warm hand caressed his cheek as the first drops leaked. She helped wipe them away now facing him, taking his tea and placing it aside with her own though her gaze never left his while he took a moment to relearn breathing and give a proper reply.

"Thank you for staying." Graham managed to say calmly.

All Vee could do was blink, rightfully perplexed.

"I could have done something to prevent pregnancy so soon, right? But I don't want to think about anything or anyone else when we're alone together. And when those symptoms started, I really wanted to be useful – I need to be useful." Graham rambled, falling apart already. "What I'm trying to say is: how could I not want to be as useful as possible to you, Vee?" He would have gone on if his eyes weren't burning with fresh tears, and Vee didn't peck his lips.

When it was over, Graham slumped in her hold as the dizzying effect remained. Vee stroked his hair, then his shoulder with a warm smile that no one else was allowed to see. She made that very clear when, if walked in on, could flip an internal switch and remove that expression.

"Prove your 'usefulness' by eventually showing our baby, who is just starting out in the world with no reason to care about these two strangers, how much you care." She spoke softly but had a confident gleam in her eye.

Graham wasn't fully convinced, nervously looking between her still flat stomach and the ground. Knowing where his eyes landed, Vee took his hand and let it touch that same spot. Her other fit almost perfectly over his and rubbed it soothingly. Under that highly specific tree, she let him make a promise these nine months would be full of studying parenting and helping her if the symptoms were too much to endure.

"But who's going to help when you're overwhelmed?" Vee asked bluntly, raising an eyebrow.

Answer 1: "I won't be overwhelmed."

Answer 2: "You."

Graham knew he had the right answer when he actually felt lighter, Vee snuggled up to him again and they were able to return to their drinks without threat of a horrible future ahead.

Just yet.