J: How's America for you, Niko?
N: Hm? What brought this on?
J: Never had much of a chance to talk to an immigrant. I'm a patriot, man, but I could do with some perspective.
N: It's…weird. And stupid. And downright backwards in a lot of ways.
J: Oh yeah? Where's your glorious Europe fare better than good old US of fucking A, then?
N: Well, for one, Healthcare that doesn't leave you wishing you'd died instead because you're so in debt now your grandchildren will be paying it off, for example. Not to mention, it is not quite profitable for when our…occupations leave us very prone to needing their services.
J: Ha-ha. Fair point, maybe, but that just motivates you to be better at the job. What about you, Luis?
L: Hey, man, don't look at me. I'm a local. Got no problems with way things is run here.
N: Not even leaving ninety percent of your legitimate monthly income in the hospital whenever you get roughed up?
L: Hey, I don't manage the best nightclubs in Liberty City for nothin', man. I don't get roughed up.
J: There's always a bigger fish, buddy. You'd do well to remember that.
L: Yeah, and I usually bring a bigger gun if I gotta scrap with some bigger fish. That shit don't phase me.
L: So any one of you chumps wanna tell me how a homeless guy got them diamonds?
N: Excuse me?
L: We handed you the diamonds for Gracie Ancelotti's safe return, right? I sure as shit didn't throw 'em in the trash.
N: You did not do it, yes. One of the Russians did it instead when I cornered him. Dropped the ice ontop of a passing dump truck.
J: And then a fucking bum just so happens to find them. Man, that's fuckin' funny and sad at the same time.
N:I do not care much for it anyway. If he really is homeless, hopefully he'll put them to much better use than any one of us.
L: You're a picture of conscience, hah.
J: Niko's right, though. Man's painted a huge target on his back by holding onto'em. Maybe having that shit gone's really for the best.
L: I did whack the guy who was their supposed original owner, so…
J: So what, buddy? Greed knows no fuckin' bounds. Another asshole's gonna show up and try and take a piece o' that pie.
N: If the man who found the rocks is smart, he will go into hiding and spend his good fortune that way.
L: Judging by the way he been braggin' about them diamonds on the news, then, guy's dumb as a brick.
N: Indeed. Good thing none of it is our problem anymore.
L: Oye.
J: Yeah.
J: Niko, my good man, I got a real important question for you.
N: Ask.
J: Why did you think it was a good idea to kill my great friend and fellow, Jim Fitzgerald?
N: That depends. Why did you think it was a good idea to kidnap my late cousin Roman?
J: Late? Wait, the chubby's no longer around?
N: You will not dare speak ill of Roman, understood?
L: Oye, if you fools are about to start shooting eachother, gimme a heads up so I can atleast take some fucking cover, ok?
N: I do not wish to shoot anyone. Not yet, at the very least.
J: Oh, that's reeeeeal threatening. If only you'd have had that self-restraint when you were gunning for my brother Jim. Speaking of…Jason was killed by some Slavic guy. Fuck. You popped him too, didn't you?
N: Unfortunately, yes. I was new to the country and didn't know any better. Then again, neither did your brother for messing around with the daughter of a very unstable crime boss.
J: And Jim? Was it Boccino?
N: It was. Something about those two million dollars that never found their way back to them.
J: Son of a bitch.
N: Boccino's dead. What about you and Roman?
J: …couple of Russian fucks came to collect on my ex-girlfriend's debt. Your cousin was what it took to pay it off.
L: Cherchez la femme. Nice.
N: I don't know how to feel about this.
J: Neither do fuckin' I.
L: Look, both of you were fuckin' misinformed, or pressured, or whatever. [in Spanish] Calm down, shit.
J: You expect me to forgive him?
L: Not forgive. Understand, and learn to tolerate. Maybe forgiveness will come after.
J: Shit, alright, wise man.
N: A wise thing to say, indeed. Revenge would not bring Roman, or your biker friends back anyway. It is best to avoid any more senseless bloodshed.
L: Dios Mio, some mature fucking company, finally – and it's a pair of psycho killers, no less. I should hang with you two more.
L: Any reason you two haven't gone legit yet?
J: Pfff, why would I?
L: Well, for one, you don't gotta dodge bullets and angry gangsters to get your payday; and two, when you get your payday, you don't gotta launder it.
N: Are you implying you do not get shot at in your line of work, Luis?
L: You got me there. But that's just part of being a part-time club owner too – dealing with all the impotent angry chumps who ain't got their slice of the money.
N: Believe me when I say, that, if I could find a legitimate job, I would. As a matter of fact, I could be a measly helicopter qualification course away from landing a decently paying pilot vacancy. Unfortunately, I am still an illegal immigrant in your country, so those doors are locked for me.
L: I might be able to speak to Tony about that. Could always use more bouncers around the clubs. Dumb muscle shit, I know, but it's legit pay for just standing around and looking like a short-fuse bloodthirsty motherfucker.
N: Thank you, Luis. My cousin's widow should be set for the time being with the money I'd acquired, but sooner or later I will need to start bringing in more to support her.
L: How about you, biker boy?
J: Back when The Lost were in power, shit was fun. Wouldn't change it for the world.
N: But your motorcycle club is no more now, correct?
J: Damn fuckin' right. Ain't got nothin' but a few brothers behind me. Can't risk their lives on this bullshit anymore – we were careless enough as it is.
N: But you're content with risking your own life.
J: I still owe it to send money to Jim's family; those two million I stole will run out eventually, and I never knew any other life other than bein' an outlaw biker. That's all there is for me You're at fault for this too, Niko, but I'm gonna bother you, seeing how similar our circumstances are.
L: Man, you're a biker for how many years now? You gotta know your shit well. Why not be a bike mechanic?
J: Open my own business? I thought about it. Too bad it won't work out, 'cause the A.O.D shitbirds, or the Mafia will put the pressure on it soon as we open up. I cannot afford to lose money. Not now. I owe it to Jim.
N: That is very unfortunate to hear.
L: Johnny, bro, when's the last time you fucking bathed? Dios Mio.
J: My friend, hygiene is conformity. I do not believe in conformity.
L: So you believe in smelling like a corpse instead. Tha's good to know.
N: The smell is not so bad.
J: [short laugh]
L: The fuck is wrong with you, bro?
N: Many, many things. Same as with you two.
L: Hey man, at least you and I know about basic human decency of cleaning ourselves up so we don't disgust others.
N: Yes, up until the moment the basic human need of water is cut off from your village by a stray artillery shell hitting the pipeline, and you have to save every drop because the nearest source of water if half a dozen kilometers away across a war-torn land. Hygiene is the last thing on your mind then, believe me.
J: Shit, that's kinda heavy.
L: A'ight man, point taken.
L: Oye, Niko, I just fuckin' realized something.
N: And what would that be?
L: You were one of those chumps who robbed the downtown Bank of Liberty when I was there!
N: I don't know what you are talking about.
L: I fucking knew I recognized your voice [in Spanish] you son of a bitch!
J: Oh yeah, I heard someone's hit the place. What the fuck happened?
L: These fucking clowns come in, can barely hold the crowd down, then the two of them who are brothers start arguing, then a guy by my side gets up and shoots the fourth one dead. Dios mio, these amateurs!
N: In my defense, I was the only sober one in the group.
L: Oye, nothing like doing lines of chop before hitting a bank to let the world know you a Liberty City gangster.
N: That is precisely what happened, yes.
L: Unbelievable. No, wait, actually, completely believable.
N: It is…good to be hanging out with you two.
L: Maybe, bro, but it's weird as shit, yo. [In Spanish] At least you're smarter than the other two I usually hang with.
J: What?
N: Hm, you are right. [In Serbian] But not as weird as it would be to hang with Florian and Darko after I'd spared them.
J: What the fuck are you two saying?
N: Oh, forgive our friend here, Luis. He seems to be a bit…linguistically challenged. [In Serbian] Perils of being an American.
L: [In Spanish] Yeah, real tragic.
J: Oh, that how you wanna play this, assholes? Fine. [In Hebrew] How do you like this?
L: Oye, biker man's got some bi-lingual fire in him.
J: [In Hebrew] That's fucking right, bitches. I know my fuckin' heritage, and I know it well.
N: The only thing I understood was "bitches", and I only know it because an acquaintance of mine is very fond of using the word.
L: Can't disagree with that one. We kinda deserved it.
