A/N: Read this note, would you kindly? Got some important updates to go through.

First, this isn't a part of the "A Most Unlikely" collection. Its a bit more...intense.

Also may very well be bumped up to M depending on fan feedback.

...another update on my health.

My back/leg pain is trying to kill me, I swear. Therapy barely scratches it. Went to a different doctor. Said I might need surgery. X-ray ain't showing a damn thing. Told him my insurance won't pay for major surgery. On and on our argument went, so here I am trying alternative means of therapy.

At this point I'm about to go out and buy a damn cane; but if things are getting worse, then I want to cut loose for once.

Someone shoved the Heaven's Feel movie at me. Felt bad, wrote this, felt better again. That's the long and short of it. Oddly enough, the pain fades when I write; maybe its because my mind goes somewhere else; because I hyper-focus when I'm writing a story.

Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this story...and others.

If folks don't like this, it won't be continued. Meaning that if the story itself ain't popular? Well...I won't be able to continue it.

I'm working two jobs with ever-increasing hours and the holidays are right around the corner; I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy. So by all means, speak up! Your voice matter! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustains me. Without them, I cannot write a single word. Simple as that. So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do!

Alright, I've kept you long enough.

As ever, I own no quotes, references, themes, or memes. Not a wit or a one! They're tributes to legends far greater than I. Now, then...

Pretty sure this particular story is going to be rated hard M later on. Mature themes, lemons and the like.

Last but not least, I'm not screwing over Sakura, of course. Consider this a Servant Swap, of sorts.

This world really isn't ready for Naruto...

...and he isn't ready for this War.

"Take that ridiculous thing off."

"...?"

"That's much better. If we're going to work together, we should see eye to eye."

...that is a horrible pun."

Then why are you smiling, hmm~?"

~?

A Smiling Monster

I've always been a bit of a glutton.

Aren't we all, though? We all want to have a good life. We all want…well… We want. We crave. We need. It's human nature. The threshold of desire to crave that which we don't have and more of what we do.

You see, I wanted to have it all. A perfect ending. A world where everyone lives. Where all my comrades survived.

Is that selfish of me, I wonder? Or hopeful to the point of lunacy?

At the end of the day, I wanted. I sought. I craved.

Is that wrong? I hardly got an answer in my first life. I screwed up, landed in this world, tried to find my way back...and then I died. I died and I died and I died over and over again. But death didn't stick. I survived through the ages. Almost like that blasted snake of Akasha, though for me always my body was the same. Looking for the culmination of my wants.

One perfect wish.

A chance to undo everything that went wrong.

I'll kill to have it, drown the planet in an ocean of blood.

Does that sound cruel of me? Maybe it is. After all...I already came this far. What's a few more bodies on the pile? I'm not a bad guy. Really, I'm not. I don't take any pleasure in mowing my enemies down. But I will win. I have to win.

To undo my mistake.

To fix my world.

To win.


(.0.0.0.)


Rider opened her eyes.

Existence asserted itself with a sudden awareness that seemed oddly banal for the fallen goddess, even as the great cloud of smoke that heralded her summoning began to break apart into its constituent mana. She could 'see' it all, though her eyes remained obscured. Just as any proper Servant could see in their Spiritual Forms even without eyes to see, so too was she keenly aware of the light breeze fluttering the violet curtain of her hair at the heels of her boots.

Light faded. The last dregs of mana in the magic circle lost their power, their job done…and yet something wasn't right.

She found herself in a forest, motes of moonlight blue light floating around her like dying fireflies before they guttered and died, illuminating her to little more to her own state standing alone.

Her brow furrowed beneath her blindfold. Yes, something was certainly amiss. Though it did not show on her stunning visage, Rider took a moment to take stock of her situation. She intrinsically knew her class from the moment of her summoning, of her skills and state from her long toned legs and athletically buxom body to the texture of the leather dress clinging to her. The clink of a chain and stake in her right hand tinkled in her ear, mentally affirming her state as a Rider.

Good.

She had no desire to wield the scythe that killed her as a Lancer, nor the wings of her monstrous Avenger form

However there was something still missing, some key information lacking in her summoning.

"Oh?" a man's voice pierced the gloom. "Looks like it worked. Guess that mage wasn't lying after all."

Her ears perked up as turned towards he who had spoken. Then it clicked. Her Master. When a summoning was performed, a servant would come into the world with some meager measure of her summoner. Yet while a wellspring of potent mana flowed into her along a perfectly constructed magical path, Rider found could not begin to fathom who it was coming from.

Sharpening her perception, she rose on bent knee and confirmed her suspicions.

She glimpsed a bloody corpse sprawled not a yard away from her summoning circle. A man in his late twenties by the look of him, his skin a caramel brown and hair sandy blonde, once pristine shirt and waistcoat stained with the blood of an opened throat. Clutched in his hand lay a sanguine red stone, like petrified blood glinting in the light of the gibbous moon high above.

"I'm so glad you answered my call." Someone stepped into the dim light. "Really, it would've been such a drag if I had to do this again...

Rider took him in at a glance; he looked normal enough.

Face normal, if one ignored the whiskered cheeks. Eyes normal, too. His clothes were simple; simple black boots with matching khakis, a dark navy shirt over which he'd thrown a loose grey overcoat. Spiky blond hair. Blue eyes. Whiskered cheeks, a birthmark of some sort? Anyone else would have passed him by on the street and thought nothing of him.

Her "eyes" saw deeper.

There was power in him. Strength that went beyond mere mana. Something deep. Dark. It was both from him and that "thing" that she received her power. And what a power it was! She felt full, satiated in way she hadn't been for ages. What was he...?

No, that didn't matter.

She steeled herself, pushing her musings to the side and addressed him in a stoic-yet-lilting voice.

"Are you my Master?"

She'd suspected the answer already, but if she was to exist for any more than a day, she would have to seal the contract and gain an anchor to the World. Though her master was handsome, there was something wrong within him. His smile was just a bit too sharp, his smile bright, almost eerily so, lending his grin a manic quality.

"That I am! I'm so glad this worked~!" he clapped his hands, whiskered cheeks dimpling in mirth. "Killing that mage was worth it after all."

Her gaze drifted to his right hand. Commands spells lay etched over the back of it, forming a tight spiral.

Seeing them, she felt her existence anchored to the here and now.

Rider exhaled a barely audible snort at such a bare-faced admittance of murder. What a troublesome Master she had. He might not even be sane. The lunatics were always the most annoying to deal with; so confident, so self-assured, so invincible in their arrogance. Hopefully this one at least had his wits about him.

"Would you mind telling me your class?"

"Servant, Rider." she responded laconically. "I have answered your Summons."

"Rider, huh?" he thumbed his chin. "There's some irony in that. Alright." his head bobbed in a slow nod. ""Guess that works. I was hoping for someone like you. You seem strong."

Here at last, Rider allowed herself a smirk. He didn't know the half of it. She felt strong. The indulgence was more for her than her Master but she couldn't help herself; it felt like she was filled by a raging torrent of power, a roaring white river compared to the slow moving brooks that she half remembered from the Throne.

So much mana. Oh gods. She could get drunk on this.

"That said…" He frowned at her, distracting her once more. "Take that ridiculous blindfold off."

Realization dawned, shattering her reverie. He meant her Breaker Gorgon. Foolish indeed. "I would not recommend it..."

"Please don't make me use a Command Spell." his voice was soft, but it carried weight all the same. This was not a request she could refuse.

Rider held his gaze with her unseen eyes for a second, trying to comprehend such foolishness. Had she overestimated his understanding of her ability? Or was he truly that foolish? She considered warning him again, then thought better of it. If he wished to perish, so be it. Slowly reaching a hand up behind her head, she traced her nail across the hidden latches at the back of the blindfold. She heard a pair of sharp clicks before its pressure around her head fell slack.

Her blindfold hit the floor.

Medusa opened her eyes, jeweled cybele-bearing square pupils fluttering open beneath long lashes. They always itched a little when she first opened them. Reluctantly she raised her head. Her gazed drilling apologetically into her master's baffled blue. He seemed surprised somehow. hoping his whiskered face would not morph into horror as it transmuted unto stone.

...beautiful."

Rider's heart kicked against her chest.

Beautiful? How could he say such a thing? She was far too tall. Unsightly, even.

Not at all like her sisters, was she. How could anything about her be remotely construed as beautiful?

"Ahem!" Her master coughed into a fist quickly pretending he hadn't said anything. "Hmm, Mystic Eyes eh?" he said with interest, "That's certainly something."

For the shadow of a moment Rider saw the beginnings of her purple mana begin to envelop his silhouette, ready to reduce him to a statue. No warning would save him now. Such would be his fate; the fate of all who she looked upon with her unsealed eyes. None could resist it.

"...?"

Imagine her surprise then, when a corona of white light exploded around her Master, rebuffing the curse like shattering glass. All the while he held her gaze, taking the measure of her now-shocked eyes. His head tilted a little, considering her curiously. No doubt he'd felt something just now, but if he had, he didn't remark upon it.

Medusa recoiled.

That… shouldn't be possible. Even high level Magic Resistance would fail to completely shut out her Mystic Eyes of Petrification! Yet some power, something infernally divine -a fell presence that even now retreated into the blond's body- had rejected her curse so completely that now all she could do was look at him as his simile began to warm.

"That's much better." this grin seemed more genuine somehow. "If we're going to work together, we should see eye to eye."

Was...was he making a joke? Her lips twitched. "That is a horrible pun."

He only laughed. "Then why are you smiling, hmm~?"

Maybe her master was mad after all.

And madness was contagious.

"In any case, I'm Naruto." the bemused blond offered her his hand. "Nice to meet you. Any chance you'd be willing to tell me your real name? Might make things easier going forward."

"..."

His palm hung there. Medusa didn't take it. She absolutely did not dare. She'd trusted before...back when she was among the living. It was better this way. Better for him to use her and her to use him. Simple. Clean. No attachments. She mustn't get attached. She refused to get attached.

"That's fair." Though his hand eventually fell, his smile didn't waver. "We've just met an' all. Maybe I pushed a little too hard. Sorry."

He certainly had. Yet he'd seen that, recognized it, and made amends

...you certainly are a bold one."

"Rider, you don't know the half of it." he smiled, acting as he hadn't just done the impossible. So? Who should we fight first?"

The quiet chirping of crickets filled the night once more.

Even then it took Medusa a few seconds to recompose herself enough and realize she'd been asked another odd question.

"You seek my advice?" she frowned at him. "I thought you were meant to be the Master of this relationship. My feelings do not matter."

"I am, and they do." Naruto nodded, twiddling his thumbs idly. "I'm also a rookie when it comes to this magic business. You know this whole Servant thing better than I do."

Fair. Her mind wracked to and fro, considering their options. It had been some time since she'd last been summoned. Even then she knew the classes. Saber. Archer. Lancer. Caster. Assassin. And Rider, of course, given she belonged to said class in this incarnation. In theory it should be possible to summon other classes to replace the Six, though that would require some meddling on a Master's part.

"Rider?"

She blinked slowly, drawn from her thoughts.

"...I would suggest seeking out the Saber class, then."

As she was now, she felt she could put up a decent fight against such a superior class.

Her master blinked. "Is that one the strongest?

"Traditionally."

"Good. It's been awhile since I had a real fight." his rueful chuckle echoed hollowly in the clearing, the still cooling corpse by his side evidence that violence did not phase him. "I'll do my best to assist ya."

His words rattled Rider. "You...intend to fight With me?"

"Yup." he smacked his lips, producing an audible pop. "I may not look it, but I can throw down with the best of 'em. 'Sides, what kind of a Master would I be if I made you do everything?"

Here at last, her temper slipped its leash. "A normal one!"

"I haven't been normal for awhile, now."

Rider saw through his brevity, glimpsed the truth in his word. There was a sadness in this one, a sadness that bordered on madness. Here was a soul who had dyed their hand Against her better judgement, she began to feel an old and foreign feeling well up in her chest when she thought about this strange creature standing before her.

Pity.

"...you're a little broken, aren't you?"

"Ha!" She wasn't prepared for Naruto's smile; it was a pure, sad thing, so miserably mirthful that it almost made her weep. "I've always been this way. I'm just not hiding it anymore."

"As you say."

"I do say." he laughed and walked past her. "C'mon. Lets get you something to eat."

Food? Rider's brow furrowed, pale eyes flashing in confusion with the absence of her blindfold. "I do not require sustenance."

Yet. She let the word go unspoken. She could feed on the blood of the unsuspecting if need be...though she'd rather it not come to that.

"But you can eat a meal, can't you?" Naruto craned his neck back to look at her, eyes half-lidded in mirth. "I'll take you back to my place. Been awhile since I had guests an' all, but I'm one helluva cook."

What a madman of a master she had. For lack of any other option, Rider followed him.

The gods had undoubtedly cursed her. There was no denying that.

But here, now, Medusa could see it. He'd been cursed, too.

By what, she knew not, only that he had. This was...

A Smiling Monster.

Just like her.

A/N: Read this note, would you kindly?

Got some important info to go over, seeing as this is the Heaven's Feel route.

First! Should this little ficlet be a story? Yay or nay! If this story is voted into the "yay" category, I can promise a Holy Grail War unlike any other I've ever written.

So, here we are at long last, the story that was promised. Best girl's been summon and brought to the fore at full power.

I'll say this now, this War will be different. Some servants shall remain, others stay the same.

Sage Mode aside, I'll let you guess which iteration of Naruto this is. Is he on good terms with Kurama? Is he good? Evil? Something in between? The sad thing is, he doesn't know about Fuyuki's corrupted Grail. If he did, he wouldn't be going anywhere near it. And if he can't purify that thing...well. I'm sure you all know what happens if Angra Mainyu gets loose.

Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this story...and others. If folks don't like this, it won't be continued. Meaning that if the story itself ain't popular? POOF! Gone. Completely. I'm working two jobs with ever-increasing hours so I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy. So by all means, speak up! Your voice matter! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustains me. Without them, I cannot write a single word. Simple as that.

So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter!

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review Would You Kindly?

And enjoy some previews!

Potential ones at that.

As ever:

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

SPOILERS AWAIT THEE!

BEWARE~!

(Previews)

"You call it a warning? This is a war."


Medusa understood now. Her master was broken. Then again, so was she.


"You've already killed one, haven't you? Zouken tittered hoarsely, an awful ugly sound that grated on his nerves. "Well, well. Aren't you a heartless one?"

"Maybe I am. If that's what it takes to win this war. I won't hesitate.

"Ha! Kiritsugu could've learned a thing or two from you...


"...enough. I can't stand people like you. Here. Have a Rasenshuriken."

Long after the screaming stopped, they would be pulling chunks of the victim from the walls for weeks.


"What kind of trap is this?" his fist swung out, obliterating the black bindings grabbing at his wrist. "You call yourself an Assassin?" he caught a flying dirk and crushed it in his fist. "No, no, no." his head swayed sighed to side, blond bangs fluttering in the rising wind. "You're doing it all wrong. Let me show you how a real Assassin fights. LESSON ONE BEGINS NOW!"

They actually tried to block, the fool. His heel swung out, catching them in their ebon ribs, hurtling them into a tree.

"...you weren't ready."

An annoyed gurgle greeted him. "What...are you...?"


Caster clicked her tongue.

This was hardly an ideal situation.

Still, she done more with less before. She could make this work.

"Caster?"

Medea plastered smile to her face. "No, its nothing. Don't worry, Sakura. I'll grant you victory in this war."

...well, victory for herself. Were they not one and the same?


"Aw, do you need more mana? That's alright, Rider."

He tore his shirt off. Opened his arms.

"Take as much as you want."


"I'd prefer to kill the Servants, not the Masters."

"My, I didn't expect you to have a proper set of morals."


"You dare disrespect a king, Mongrel...?

"Such an arrogant bastard." much to his amusement, said mongrel didn't die. He palmed his bloody face and stood. "That really stung, ya know! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to regrow a lung?" Sinister scarlet slits peaked though clawed fingers, the baleful slits of an angry beast. "Keep pushing me, your majesty. See what happens…"

"Oh?" his grin gained an edge. "You have a trump card, do you? Let me see it."

A spark of light was his one and only warning.

Two blonds roared their laughter.

EDIT: Hey, you made it!

Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this story...and others.

If folks don't like this, it won't be continued. Meaning that if the story itself ain't popular? Well...I won't be able to continue it.

I'm working two jobs with ever-increasing hours and the holidays are right around the corner; I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy. So by all means, speak up! Your voice matter! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustains me. Without them, I cannot write a single word. Simple as that.

So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do!

Looking forward to chatting with you all when I get back from work!

R&R~!