We had lunch at a restaurant that was probably the most expensive place many of them had been to that year. Luckily I didn't have to foot the bill and everyone paid of their own accord, even though some of them had probably saved up for this or felt guilty about it afterwards. If there was one thing I hated it was defaulting to picking up the bill for everyone simply because I could. I hated free loaders and moochers. No one wealthy did. It wasn't the money but the principal.
It was expected to tell some tales and play some part, so I did my part and selected a range of business tales to tell them. Indeed most of the people were interested in them, and that was how I passed the time as well as listening (or pretending to listen) to everyone else's tales. They were all in training for their careers or entry-level at best so nothing was interesting. But I had to at least look interested so that I didn't upset the natural order of things. Everyone thought their tales interested Daphne, Millicent and I even though they didn't.
I found myself thinking a little of each of the people who had turned up to this brunch as we talked. They were all people who had bothered to suck up to the Slytherin purebloods or be friends with people that did, so not everyone from Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw were there. As it was this year there were no non-sufferable Gryffindors and so none were present at this.
Ernie Macmillan was a Hufflepuff boy that I hated with a bit of a passion. First and second year he'd made no impression me beyond my hearing from friends of friends he was a bit of a pompous ass. Puffing himself up to look better, stretching stories, blowing things out of proportion, playing the role of the leader, the knowledgeable one, among our grade but his simple stupidity was clear to most and he annoyed some of the other girls (and a few guys) but no one dared say it to his face. However, there were a few students who swore he was a good person and that anyone who said anything negative about him were lying through their teeth out of extreme jealousy, that stuck for him like they were his personal bodyguards or shields.
It was because of them that when I struggled with work during third year and tried to get a tutor at Hogwarts, the only time I asked anyone at Hogwarts for help, he'd attempted to offer me help and tutored me for a subject I was struggling in. Except he was a poor teacher, never actually answering my questions, explaining around it, and not seeming to understand it well enough to teach anyone anything else. In the end I failed and got detention and a retest, where I studied for it on my own and at least passed this time around.
After that I hated Ernie and tried to avoid him, though I don't think he knew. I hated him and could expose him had I wanted to, but so far he had not pissed me enough to make me do so.
The only reason I didn't was because I didn't care about grades back then, and largely still didn't. It's not like I needed an education with my position in life. Otherwise I would've been more angry. I was merely angry at him because he said he would deliver but he didn't, but I didn't care what it was over.
Zacharias Smith was someone I hated. Arrogant, nasty, he liked pointing out the flaws and negatives in other people to exaggerate things and stir shit around. It gave him pleasure or something. Mean, malicious, spiteful, he was a nasty little spitfire creating havoc and chaos everywhere he went, I'd heard even worse complaints about him than Ernie from friends of friends, but he had also ran away during the Battle of Hogwarts, and so did I which didn't make me look as bad.
I don't think anyone understood but I had more to lose from the Battle of Hogwarts than many of the non-Slytherins. I was a pureblood, my family were wealthy. If He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named won my family were probably one of the ones he wanted to get on his side and use our money and resources, or subjugate to make sure we couldn't use our wealth or influence to overthrow him. This was probably going to be through illegal and nasty means. I didn't want to do anything to make thing worse or myself if he did won. I didn't want to fight against him. Not when it could put my family at risk - we were one of the wealthiest and most politically powerful families in the wizarding world. I hated how no one at Hogwarts understood what fighting in that battle would be getting us into. I hated how everyone just had sympathy and pity for Harry Potter and his friends, they all wanted to be on his side and defeat Voldemort and everyone that stood for him.
I never stood for Voldemort, nor did any of my family. But we would be specifically targetted if he rose to power, and even if he didn't, so we had to play our cards carefully, and no one saw it or stood out for us.
I still felt like there were some losers at Hogwarts who hated me and would call me a coward, a prat, for running away, many things, and Zacharias Smith was a person who I felt saw the same sense as I did, to not want to get involved in such a battle, and whom I felt a brief bit of warmness towards after that. For not making me the only person to have ran away from it.
I didn't want to fight against Voldemort, nor did I want to fight for him. There was no way for me to fight and win so I never blamed myself for running away. Only bitterly hated anyone else who dared be nasty towards me over it.
Zacharias Smith was someone I used to dislike, but couldn't help but feel a faint sense of warmness towards.
The last Hufflepuff that came was Megan Jones, who had a twin sister in Gryffindor. She was blonde, pretty, though not as much as Daphne, and wasn't someone that I heard much about, but she liked much of the same things most girls did - makeup, jewellery, hair, expensive items, so she was no doubt probably at least a bit attracted to being friends with someone like me for that reason. I didn't know her well. The Hufflepuffs never really had anything interesting to say in my opinion so the Ravenclaws were more entertaining to listen to outside of Slytherin. I didn't blame myself for not knowing her well, it wasn't like she was particularly interesting on the surface.
Ernie Macmillan was a member of a Sacred 28 family but I think I would throw a fit and scream if I had to be married to him, he made my skin crawl after that incident. None of the other Hufflepuffs came from a pureblood or Sacred 28 family.
Anthony Goldstein from Ravenclaw came. He was a blonde boy who was of great intelligence and wit, he was actually somewhat pleasant to be around and was one of the most popular and well-liked boys in Ravenclaw house. Thank god he was there otherwise I would've hated meeting up with these 'friends' even more than I did.
Michael Corner from Ravenclaw came, he was a brunette halfblood who had an average reputation from what I heard. He kept boasting about his role in the battle of Hogwarts however and bringing it up. I shut up and let some other people carry the conversation a little as he did. I didn't want anybody to bring that up and yet he didn't seem to get it, arrogantly talking about how he stayed behind to fight and a bunch of details without realising that some people literally couldn't because their family's were big enough to be targetted by Voldemort if he were to win and they didn't want to add another target on their back, and that they obviously didn't want to fight against the rest of the students on Voldemort's side during the battle. That would be a deathwish considering the hatred the entire school had on Voldemort and anyone associated with him.
It's not fair. How everyone else hates on Slytherins or people who aren't directly against Voldemort. But they can't see our reasons why.
How come they're always going on about justice or fairness, but not when it comes to us?
Forever misunderstood.
Those last two words were something I'd pondered for months and months after the war. I didn't want to go through those moods again. I didn't like Michael Corner very much.
Mandy Brocklehurst was a stuck up Ravenclaw who was equally as swotty as Hermione Granger, the only difference being her hair wasn't as bushy and she was a tad less than Hermione. But really, was it fair that Hermione got teased for being herself and Mandy Brocklehurst somehow seemed to avoid it? Despite both of those girls annoying me to no end?
Mandy liked to pretend she was above making connections, liked to preach against it or look down on people who did, but she was always trying to suck up to the Slytherins from the prominent families. I hated her, but yet she was also probably the most intelligent and useful girl of the bunch. She was perhaps the non-Slytherin that was most useful in some way, so I held my tongue around her.
Hermione however...was just so arrogant, so know-it-all, so knowledgeable, that I absolutely couldn't stand that girl and couldn't help taking her down a peg or two. It might've also been because she was part of the golden trio, who Draco Malfoy bitterly hated during his years at Hogwarts and I thought that if I could do my job in taking them down, making her miserable, that perhaps Draco Malfoy would respect or like me more, come to see that a portion of his problems were solved by me and my ability to give Hermione Granger some trouble.
If Draco noticed he never did gave me any indication of it. He didn't tell me to stop or act horrified however. He let me do it when I did it in front of him. Perhaps that was all I needed. Perhaps I liked that he never told me of even though a part of me knew that it was bad to bully others for no reason, for Hermione and I didn't have anything really personal with each other. Not like some other girls. Perhaps the fact that Draco didn't tell me to stop was a sign he was enjoying it.
I spent months ruminating about that in fourth year when Draco broke up with me. Wondering what the pros and cons of dating me were, wondering how they weighed up and why it tipped Draco in the direction against me. I had thought of that as a pro, it had been one of the only pros I clung onto. It was bullying and against the school rules and he'd let me get away with it. Surely that meant something to him? Surely he thought I was on his side, I saw the world like he did, surely he liked me a little more for bullying one of his enemies for him, and the fact that he let me get away with it meant he appreciated it? Surely...?
It was dark thoughts, those months. I didn't like a lot of them and I hadn't wanted to be reminded of all of that right here right now, I couldn't help being reminded of it. Seeing all these people, out here talking...
Marietta Edgecombe was a huge suck-up, but unintelligent unlike Mandy. So was Lisa Turpin, Sue Li.
It was typical, typical typical.
Celestia Juneberry was also there, the fifth Slytherin girl whom I absolutely hated and that wrapped up the crow for today. Celestia was a budding journalist wannabe, who loved the fact that she was sorted with the darling daughters of the wizarding world's most precious family's and bragged to no end about it, her mouth ran at a thousand miles per minute, she was always talking us up, talking up her connections to us. She was always snooping around trying to find information to use. She was always lording herself over the other girls in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw because of her proximity to us. Half the reason why there was such a large crowd of people gathered here today was probably because of Celestia hyping us up and talking about how 'important it was to build connections', hence dragging all these people over under the guise of building connections with Daphne, Millicent and I.
I had to pretend I liked her though. Everyone had to pretend we all liked each other. It was like pureblood politics, but without the glitz and the glamour.
Daphne and I universally took a dislike to Celestia, so we managed to kick her out without having her notice, and so she wasn't in the same boat as Tracey, Millicent, Daphne and I. She didn't notice, though she tried to get in our group from time to time, and we kept some distance from her. I still hated her til this day. At least Tracey had no interest in writing for a newspaper as a living or anything.
At the end of the day Celestia said she was going to write a newspaper article about us. Marietta Edgecombe wanted me to have a talk with her supervisor at an office job to tell her what a good friend she had been to me all throughout the Hogwarts' years. Sue and Lisa wanted me to do the same thing, and the three of them asked for the favour around the same time, like they had preplanned this. Mandy then gave one of her stupid lectures about not relying on connections and that knowledge and one's own wit were more important. But she just annoyed me because of the fact that she was here, making connections with us.
"Do you want to?" Marietta bugged me near the end of the lunch.
"No," I said simply.
"Aw," the three girls coo'd.
"Why not?" asked Lisa Turpin, a look of betrayal on her face.
"Because," I said sourly.
"Because?" Sue Li echoed innocently, a confused look on her face as if she expected a paragraph long explanation from me.
Because I don't want to. I thought simply. Can't any of these morons see that? I wish I could be free. I wish I could be free from all of this. I wish I could be free from the consequences of saying all of my thoughts. I wish I could cuss all of them and hex them to hell and back. I hate having to be nice to everyone all the time. I hate having to turn them down politely.
"Hey, can you do us too?" asked Michael, and now the boys were chiming in.
"Yeah, it'll help us a tonne," said Ernie.
"I wouldn't mind it either truthfully to be honest," said Anthony.
Some of them were looking at Daphne as well. Who's also prime person to ask except me.
I've no idea why no one bothers with Millicent. She's equally as pureblooded and Sacred 28 as us. She isn't as wealthy as me, but that's the only real mark where she's fallen. A Bulstrode's word could carry quite a lot, but no one bothered with her. Was it because Daphne and I fit some sort of mold better that people targetted us more? We looked like how you'd expect Sacred 28, pureblooded, wealthy, socialites to look?
It wasn't a conscious choice on your behalf. We dressed, talked, acted, the way we normally would and some people couldn't help but get themselves all over us even though there wasn't a good reason for it.
"I don't want to," sighed Daphne, putting on a faint sugary sweet voice of regret.
Now the boys sighed, how pathetic.
"But it would help us in our careers," whined Ernie.
Just because it could, doesn't mean we want to.
"Meanie," said Michael, a pout appearing on his face.
"Why haven't the Slytherin boys been invited? Wouldn't their word count for more than ours since people would believe they knew you better?" I tried.
Silence fell. I felt like I walked into some kind of trap.
Celestia's smile widened, "do you like them? Who do you love? Is it Draco Malfoy together? I thought the two of you were done and over after fourth year! Don't tell me you're getting back together! That's so juicy! Do you actually love each other this time around? Or is it just a rebound of some sort?"
Just a rebound. Ouch.
Celestia didn't know anything about why I wanted to date Draco or anyone's business, but yet her crude words still pained me somehow.
"Wouldn't be too hard for you to ask them to come next time?" Michael looked hopeful.
"Here here!" said Ernie with a chuckle.
"That'll be great. You can bring the Slytherin boys here. Then it'll really be a reunion of sorts," said Sue Li.
"Yeah," sighed Lisa.
"Sorry. I have a spa and nails appointment to go to next. Daphne, Millicent, come with me-" I said, getting up even though I had nowhere to go.
"Yeah, out of my way," said Daphne.
Somehow, we were thought of as so bitchy it was actually believable and we managed to get out of everyone's ways, as the rest of them acted surprised, shocked, and then gossiped about us and our luxuries probably, and also talked more about themselves but without our presence there. Celestia was probably having a field day getting more interesting gossip out of everyone. Tracey looked like she wanted to follow us but also like she wanted to stay behind and listen. Well she didn't have a choice in the end, I didn't call her. I was closer to Daphne and Millicent if I had to pick, though Tracey entertained us sometimes.
We found the empty street outside of the restaurant. There were a handful of people walking up and down the street. Slow meandering traffic went by. This wasn't the sort of restaurant nor street you could stand outside of and not feel ridiculous if you were walking anywhere so I turned and began walking down the street and towards the way I would be going if I were to go home.
Daphne and Millicent came after me.
"There's no nails and spa, though we can if you want. I just...wanted to get out of there," I said.
"Same, thank god you had the brainwave to make up that excuse. I thought I was gonna die in there," said Daphne.
"Why?" asked Millicent.
"Would you want to use your family name to help them with their career or anything if they asked?" Daphne asked Millicent.
Daphne and I use to dislike her both when we were younger. She annoyed us both. But in recent years we had both changed our minds and were a little kinder to her. Mostly because she's not malicious, just a bit blunt and slow. Well, she was physically a bit violent and liked pushing and shoving others to get to the front of her line and using her size to her advantage, she was tall and sturdy, but she never laid a finger of us, and shoved other people out of the way for us because we were all Slytherins, so we couldn't hate her for it. If she tried being bullying in a verbal way like we did, we would probably dislike her more because she's too slow for us. But she didn't so we tolerated her better in a way.
"Would it benefit me?" asked Millicent.
"Would you believe them if they told you it would benefit you? Would you fully trust anything they say?" I asked her.
"Leave it. They're probably finishing up and coming out soon. We were nearing the end anyway. Let's just appariate home and pretend we're really at a nails place," said Daphne.
"If they asked me if I went I'd say I didn't go," said Millicent, "because I've never been to a nail or spa place. And I don't think I can pretend I know that it looks like or anything if they asked."
Times like this I wanted to scream all over again on account of how annoying Millicent was. Even though she was still 'on our side' today so to speak.
"Yeah whatever, bye," said Daphne.
"Bye," I echoed, before the two of us appariated to our homes.
If Millicent said goodbye none of us stayed long enough to hear it.
Once I got home I went to my room and screamed into a pillow and kicked around. I hated keeping appearances, keeping connections, catching up with the others. It was just...eurgh...
