Sasori the artist. A mixture of classic, yet unique in every way. Not only that, a complainer about everything. In other words, he was irritating.
"I'm sick and tired of pumpkin spice this and that." He sneered, looking at Deidara, "How can you drink that knowing it makes you... you..."
Deidara narrowed his eyes at the incel, pulling away from his iced pumpkin spice latte, "A what?" he asked.
"A basic bitch."
Deidara was sick of this. Anything that girls liked, Sasori liked to make fun of. One would say it was internalized misogyny, but in Sasori's case, it was straight-up misogyny. He would mock the feminine clothes he wore, the feminine entertainment he watched, and now the feminine beverages he would intake.
Yet Sasori would take a picture of his fine meals before he ate them. Not to mention how he'd eye-up his feminine clothes too much. Or when he'd ask to tag along with Deidara to his feminine entertainment; only to sit quietly next to him the whole time and then complain at the end. Guy has some internalized issues or something.
"Have you ever tried it, hmm?"
"Ew no. Too sweet. Besides, only those basic bitch type of girls like them." Sasori said before looking Deidara up and down.
Deidara would remember this. Straightening out his clothes, he glanced over his shoulder as he caught Saosri staring at him again. All year he would remember this injustice.
So a year later and it wasn't his day to bring drinks to work, but Kisame wasn't about to tell him no. Hey, if Deidara wanted to pay, let the kid pay!
After handing out the drinks, he smiled and slid the hot beverage to his co-worker and special friend, Sasori. "Here you go, my man."
"Thanks," Sasori mumbled as he worked away at his desk. Taking a sip of it, he crinkled his nose, not expecting anything other than a coffee with one creamer and a shot of vanilla. Ok so what. He was allowed to indulge in a fancy coffee once in a while. But this? Sasori took another sip. This was-
"Mm." he hummed in amusement. "Mm, so.." he looked around a bit and took one more sip, "Mm, I think I got someone else's drink."
Konan who hadn't taken a drink of her beverage yet looked up at Sasori, "Aw man, you did? What is it?"
Sasori took another sip, "Mm, I don't know, but it's really good."
Huffing, Konan opened her lid, expecting Sasori's crappy drink. One look and one whiff and she was pleased, "Well it's not mine, I've got my pumpkin spice latte." she said, taking another long whiff of the spiced scent.
Sasori froze, gagging down another hot sip, "wait... it's pumpkin spice season?"
Konan snorted, "uh, ya? It's autumn. This is kinda a big deal. You should be used to this by now."
"Uh, no. I actually shouldn't. I'm not some sort of basic bitch like you." He sneered, subconsciously taking another sip. Sasori then looked up at Deidara who stood above him, smugly drinking his iced pumpkin spice latte, the sound from the ice clicking hauntingly and his eyes sparkling. "You..." He accused quietly, pulling his lips away from the delicious drink.
Deidara flicked a wrist in Sasori's direction, "Welcome to being a basic bitch, my man."
Trauma. A year after the incident he was left with trauma.
Sasori pulled up to the drive-thru window, clad in his granny's babushka and sunglasses. Money in hand so as not to leave a trail he paid for and received his pumpkin spice latte, but didn't dare drink it yet. No. He wasn't safe here. Not yet. Driving up the street and down the road, he pulled into a fairly small and deserted dog park. A good choice to be as it was known for his genuine dislike of dogs. One of the stupid reasons he never stayed at Deidara's place, was as he lived with his two stupid and elderly golden retrievers. So there was established dislike there. No one would suspect he was here. Besides, Deidara and his coworker Hidan, who also owned a dog, lived on the other side of town. They would never come to this rinky-dinky and rather unkept park.
Holding the warm drink in between his hands, Sasori swooned as this year's first pumpkin latte spiced his throat and heated his stomach. It was heaven. It was bliss. He shook his head. No! This was just the aftermath of the trauma. Sweet and delicious trauma.
Finishing his drink while listening to some smooth music, he took a deep breath and went to the next step. No trails. He tightened his babushka and got out of his car to toss the garbage out at the park. Back in the car, he got out his travel-sized cologne from his dash and applied some to his wrists to cover the smell. He grabbed a new tree-shaped, lemon-scented air freshener and waved it around before hanging it from his mirror. Was he being over the top? To normal people, yes. To keep this secret from Deidara, no.
He had to keep face. He had a reputation to uphold! But he felt weak and They were just so good! He could never know.
Sasori flinched as his phone buzzed. It was him. Sasori glanced around paranoid until he opened it, just to see that Deidara had gotten in early and was looking for him. Missing him. He rolled his eyes. Couldn't Deidara survive a day without him? He wasn't even late! He scowled as he heard a dog bark from the park. Didn't Deidara have those stupid dogs to take care of? Nevermind that. They were in agreement that when they both passed, Deidara wouldn't get another because... Sasori huffed and turned pink as he wiggled his fingers, the sounds of the dog barking irking him more and more. He hated waiting.
Sitting at work he sighed as he felt a lingering presence behind him, "What do you want, Deidara?"
Deidara got into Sasori's personal space and rested his chin on his shoulder, "Nothing." he sighed, looking at Sasori's wall of computer text.
Used to it, Sasori didn't shrug him off, "Then why are you here."
Pressing his face closer to Sasori's, Deidara pecked a kiss on his cheek. Sasori in turn, after glancing around, pecked him back, however, he did so on the lips. How romantic.
"Hmmm...?" Deidara hummed, lips going crooked, "Well, I was going to ask if you wanted something from the coffee run, but it seems you already had something."
Sasori froze, "Whatever do you mean? I'd love a coffee. You know, the usual."
Still close to Sasori's shoulder, Deidara took a deep breath from his nose and moved even closer to Sasori again, lips barely touching his ear. "I don't know Sasori. Are you sure you wouldn't like a little more pumpkin spice?"
Mortified, Sasori worked harder. How could this brat have found out? He took all the precautions. The only thing he could have done more is maybe taking a complete shower if the spice scent stuck to his hair. Or maybe a breath mint to cover his-
Sasori stopped typing. Deidara was very close to him. He kissed Deidara. It was within reason that Deidara could smell it on his breath like a cop with a drunk and their booze.
"My breath," Sasori said, carefully typing away again.
"Yup."
"I see." The typing halted.
"Want another?"
"...Yes."
Deidara grabbed the side of Sasori's head and kissed him again, "Sure thing, bitch."
