The skies of Lothal shone with the red and orange glow of pre-dawn light, and through the heavy layers of polluted black clouds, the cone-shaped mountains surrounding the rebel camp looked brooding and ominous. Alone out on the stone steps leading to the endless grassy plains, Kanan Jarrus sat facing out, deep in meditation.
Soft winds brushed past him gently, and sounds of wildlife became more and more active with the arrival of dawn. Kanan breathed in the warm, clear air. Since they've taken over the crawler and stopped the strip-mining of the surrounding area a few days ago, the recovery of the surrounding nature had been surprisingly quick, allowing Kanan to let in the calming presence of Lothal's wilderness, leaving him with a clear and focused mind.
For weeks, Kanan had been meditating on and off, more so than ever in his life. Since their arrival on Lothal, he'd been confronted by a sense of uncertainty and dread. What the Empire did to taint the planet had left Ezra shaken to his core, yet Kanan sensed they've only scratched the surface of the Empire's intentions. In his gut, he felt a definite finality in this mission: a culmination of all their work and commitment. Fail or succeed, this mission will change everything.
He reached deeper into the Force, searching for answers. Suddenly, he became aware of a familiar presence directly in front of him, lurking in the tall yellow grass: a creature he had twice encountered upon returning to Lothal. He could feel its intelligent eyes staring at him, quietly assessing his thoughts.
Kanan remembered the two times the white Loth-wolf had appeared to him. The first time had been when they were escaping the clutches of Governor Pryce, and the wolves had led them to their new hideout in the southern parts of Lothal. It was then he discovered the wolves' deep connection to the Force, and their focused will to serve the planet. The second time was shortly after the devastating failure of the rebel assault on Thrawn's TIE factories, when Kanan had recklessly took off alone to find Hera. The wolf had intercepted him at the runway to Capital City, and with one word, reminded him of his duty.
Now again in the company of the wolf, Kanan sank deeper into his meditation. The wolves had taken a special interest in him, so Kanan figured he must be instrumental in the fate of Lothal. He focused on this: Lothal changing for the better, and his role in making it happen. He allowed the Force to flow through him, and the Force responded, enveloping Kanan in a cacophony of voices.
The voice swirled around him like the currents of a river. Some of them he recognized: they were things he had said in the past. He heard himself calling to Ezra at the landing ramp of the Ghost on the day they met, and his words persuading him to learn about the Force. 'You can learn what it truly means to be a Jedi,' he had said. Some of them, however, seemed to happen in a possible future. He heard Hera saying something about a present, her voice teasing and unguarded. He heard Ezra saying something about the Jedi temple being in danger, and not being prepared, as well as counting on someone. Kanan concentrated on these voices, tracing them back to the present. He looked for events leading up to what he heard and tried to find his role in all of this. A fiery image appeared in his mind, and Kanan finally realized.
'All the paths are coming together, right?' Ezra had asked. And Kanan had replied, 'Yeah. I'm just not sure if we're going to like where they lead.'
He could feel the wolf observing him, noting how he will react to this revelation. Years of Jedi training and handling Force visions allowed him to remain calm. He found himself reviewing his entire life, how each decision had led to where he is now. He remembered his master Depa Billaba's sacrifice, years of hiding and losing his way, his long path realigning himself to his Jedi roots through training Ezra, his injury by Maul and making peace with his new disability. It had all been preparing him to step up for what's to come. The path to victory for the rebels, and for Lothal, all depended on Kanan taking this step.
He felt Ezra approaching from behind, his presence in the Force a dark cloud of unrest and anxiety. Kanan felt Ezra would also play a significant role in the future, especially concerning the Jedi temple, a place he suspects contain answers for what the Empire is truly up to. He thought about what he heard earlier. 'You didn't prepare me for this, Kanan,' Ezra said. His voice was full of doubt and self-pity. Kanan considered how he can help with that, but then realized he doesn't need to. He was no longer the street rat who was lost and confused, nor the moody teenager struggling with his inner darkness. The person he became already had everything he needed to carry the torch forward, and the only thing required for Kanan is to pass it to him.
The wolf, satisfied with Kanan's reaction, turned and retreated into the grass, giving space for the two.
'I need you to do something for me,' Kanan called as soon as Ezra came up behind him.
'Anything,' Ezra replied. His tone was sincere and serious, a reflection of his awareness of the stakes at hand, removing any doubts Kanan had.
'Take the lead on getting Hera back,' he said.
'Shouldn't…you be the one to do that?' Ezra sounded a bit confused.
'I would,' Kanan explained. 'But I can't think clearly because of the way I feel about her.' It was true, not a second went by without him thinking about her, and although Kanan no longer had the reckless urge to go after her, he still felt better knowing a clear, focused mind would be planning the mission, especially given what he just saw in the Force. He understood how important it would be to allow his student to take charge.
'I might make a mistake,' he continued. 'One that could cost us.'
'We can do this together,' Ezra offered.
'No,' Kanan cut him off, standing up and turning to speak directly to Ezra. 'I'll be with you, but this has to be your plan. You lead.'
Ezra paused for a while. 'If that's what you want,' he said finally.
'It's what we need if we're going to save Hera,' Kanan said simply. Turning away from Ezra, he faced the spot where the wolf sat a moment ago.
'And everyone else,' he added quietly.
...
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...
Kanan sat down in front of a stone table in the wolves' cave. On it was a small metal knife. He removed his lightsaber, took off his mask and put it on the table.
The others had just finished scouting out the best way to get into the Imperial complex, and are now busy preparing the gliders that will bring them in. Ezra and Sabine were running around giving instructions, supervising the process. Mart Mattin, whom Kanan picked up on the outskirts of Capital City after the failed attack, was now helping eagerly, hammering pieces together alongside Jai Kell. Even Chopper helped when he could, using his gadgets to weld together the materials, making sure the gliders are held firmly in place. As for Kanan, all he needed to do was to take the final step.
He held his ponytail with one hand and brought the knife up with the other. Emotions swirled inside him. As Kanan Jarrus, he'd hidden who he truly was, treating his connection to the Force like a disease. He'd drifted aimlessly across the galaxy, worked jobs for cantinas and mining companies without any sense of purpose, then got his life turned around on Gorse where he'd met Hera Syndulla, the young talented pilot and deeply devoted rebel, joining her crew and rediscovering himself in the process. He remembered training Ezra, a lost soul much like his past self. He remembered training Sabine, helping her remove the obstacles and heal her past wounds to become the person she needed to be. Now, he would be doing it for himself.
Kanan's hand paused above his neck for a moment. Then with a swift motion, he cut off his ponytail. Feeling for his face next, he angled the knife over his cheek, and starting shaving off his beard. Once he felt satisfied, he returned the knife to the table, and leaving behind his mask, went to join the others.
Outside, the rebels were finishing their work on the gliders. He heard Ezra telling the others, 'I'll let Kanan know we're ready.'
'I know,' Kanan called out.
He could feel the others' astonishment as they took in his new look. The wind felt different against his face. Indeed, he felt like a different person: more focused, more at ease with himself. He felt Ezra's shocked expression turn into a gentle smile, and he returned it with his own.
'Let's go get Hera,' Kanan announced.
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...
'It's probably good you can't see this flying contraption,' Zeb was saying.
As sunset approached, Kanan stood facing the plains, steeling himself for the mission they are about to take. This would be his first mission without wearing his usual mask, yet Kanan felt that he won't be needing it. The ritual this afternoon was a step signifying an embrace of his past, and the mask itself was meant to hide not just his wounds, but his full identity. Now that he has given himself to the path chosen for him, the mask became only a relic of Kanan Jarrus's broken past.
Him and Zeb were at the edge of camp, where the gliders would be launched into the air soon, taking them along the wind all the way to the Imperial complex, slipping past surveillance meant for sophisticated technology, which would hopefully allow them to slip by unnoticed. Under the guise of loth-bats active during nighttime, Kanan, Sabine and Ezra would fly right under Governor Pryce's nose and rescue Hera.
'This is one of those times I'm glad the Force is with you,' Zeb said, laughing lightly.
Kanan smiled, putting a hand on Zeb's shoulder. The big guy always made a point of teasing the more strange parts of their plans, and his humor has only gotten better over time, refined by countless narrow escapes and experiences with the Force that doesn't come natural to him. While once Zeb had chalked these encounters up with luck, he now had accepted them as a normal part of their lives. Kanan couldn't help thinking what a privilege it had been to have a crewmate like him who respected these more bizarre aspects and learned to trust his instincts.
Meanwhile, Ezra and Sabine had hooked the gliders together to a speeder and started getting into position. Kanan joined them, setting himself on the middle one while Ezra took the front and Sabine at the back.
'Ready? Go!' Ezra said.
Zeb opened up the throttle on the speeder, and with Chopper at the back controlling the cable, the three rose into the air and caught the wind. Ezra unhooked the line, and they sailed north, rising higher and higher.
'Go get her!' Kanan heard Zeb shout from below. 'Bring her back!'
The gliders caught the full force of the winds, taking them straight to Capital City.
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...
It was fully dark when Kanan, Sabine and Ezra arrived at the Imperial complex. The gliders sailed past the city without alerting anyone, and they landed on an empty platform high up.
'No alarms,' Ezra noted, removing his helmet. 'So far so good.'
'People never pay enough attention to the world around them,' Kanan mused.
'Good thing you taught me otherwise,' Ezra replied, smiling.
Smiling in return, Kanan put his hand on Ezra's shoulder. 'You're a good listener, Ezra. It served you here, and it will serve you again, in the future.' Even though he didn't know everything about Ezra's part to play, he knew that his perceptiveness will come in handy for what comes next.
'What do you mean?' Ezra asked, interested.
'I hate to break up the moment,' Sabine intervened gently. 'But we got to keep moving.' She handed Kanan two devices with handholds.
'Magnetic climbers,' Sabine explained. 'They'll stick to the dome surface.'
'Perfect,' Kanan said, nodding. 'Thank you.'
'Ok,' Ezra started. 'Pryce's office is about six levels down. Hera should be…'
'I know where she is,' Kanan replied gently.
Ezra gave him a long look. 'Alright. We'll get the ship. Signal us when you're ready.' Then, Ezra and Sabine headed for the entrance, ready to execute the next part of their plan.
Kanan went off to the other direction. Just before he jumped, he looked back at them one last time. These were two kids he had cared for, worried after, given his best efforts into, and seen them become mature and capable leaders in their own right. His heart swelled with immense pride. Kanan had not wanted to be too sentimental or too telling of his motives, but he couldn't stop himself.
'Ezra, Sabine…,' he called.
He felt them turn around, looking back at him.
Kanan paused for a moment, composing himself. 'May the Force be with you,' he said warmly.
Then, he stepped back from the platform, trusting the Force to direct him where he needed to go.
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...
Things happened quickly since then, as if in a blur. He'd retrieved Hera's kalikori from Thrawn's office, sensing echoes of the Syndulla family within it; he'd rescued Hera by slicing open a part of the floor at Pryce's office, to the surprise of two guarding stormtroopers; he'd lost his lightsaber during a fight with the Noghri assassin Rukh, which had been embarrassing, yet he had a feeling he might not need it again; then Hera and Kanan had taken one of the gliders, and under Kanan's instruction, they had crashed, no, excitingly landed, as Hera had corrected, at the Imperial fuel depot and made their way to the central fuel pod. Sabine and Ezra, in the meantime, had followed Imperial reinforcements en route, and secured a gunship to pick them up.
Now standing at the top of the fuel pod, Kanan's body hummed with anticipation. He felt it: this is the spot. What the Force had shown him during his meditation would happen here, a few moments from now. He had a sinking feeling that all of him: his successes and failures, his struggles and accomplishments, the relationships he'd built, had been a preparation for this, so he could be here in this moment to fulfill his destiny.
Kanan breathed deeply, letting in the Force and allowing it to flow through him, leaving him alert and focused.
'Kanan…' he heard Hera calling.
He turned to face her as she came up behind him. Her voice was soft, fragile even, yet contained a certainty and purpose that made Kanan know what she said next would be very important.
'I know what to say now,' she said quietly, pausing for a moment. Then softly, she pronounced, 'I love you.'
Kanan shuddered, body racked with goosebumps. Laughing lightly, he said wistfully, 'Must be the truth serum talking.'
He'd known Hera for a long time, and while they'd acted like a married couple, gave each other pet names, called Ezra and Sabine their 'kids', and stolen time to be together over the years, he knew declaring love was not Hera's style. They'd always skirted around the issue, and through years of subtle hinting, Kanan knew Hera would never jump at a chance to admit it. Even right up to the mission to get the TIE Defender plans out of Lothal, Kanan had not succeeded in getting Hera to harbor thoughts of a life outside the Rebellion. He'd respected her decision, her devotion to the cause, and lived by knowing that being Hera's partner and crewmate would have to be enough.
'No,' he heard Hera say.
He felt her approaching purposefully, until she was close enough to cup his face with her left hand. Through it all, Kanan remained motionless, stunned by her admission.
'It's me,' she said softly. 'All me.'
With that, her hand on his cheek lovingly pulled his face to align with her own, drawing him in for a deep kiss.
Of all the times they had shared an intimate moment, nothing came close to this one. Their first few kisses were fresh and driven by excitement, sometimes experimental and awkward, unsure if they wanted to continue trying this out. Kisses from stolen moments, usually after a long day of mind-numbing work or another close call with the Empire, were emotionally driven and wild, where they just wanted to blow off some steam and let out their frustrations. Even their last kiss right before Hera left Lothal was one of reassurance and comfort, meant to put down Kanan's worries that he'd mess up their relationship by his ongoing conversations with her about the future. But this one, was a kiss without any lingering trace of doubt or even passion. It was slow, deliberate, and it told Kanan everything he needed to know about what Hera felt. Their intention clear, their feelings clear, Kanan gave himself over to the moment, and for a short while, nothing else mattered.
Far too soon, a wave of heat passed over him, and he heard a gunship's engine rumbling as it made its landing next to them. The two separated and faced their new arrivals. Sabine was in the pilot's seat, her relief apparent seeing the two of them safe. Kanan could feel her joy at seeing their show of affection emanating from the pilot's chair. Ezra, he could sense as well, was barely able to control his smile.
'Hey, enough of that,' he teased. 'Time to go!'
With a smile, Kanan and Hera made for the gunship.
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...
A few steps to the ship, Kanan's muscles tensed, and the Force screamed in warning.
Then he heard it: a shot fired from heavy artillery right behind them. Kanan and the others turned to register a loose formation of AT-AT walkers heading their direction. The lead walker had just fired its main turrets, but its aim was not directed at them or the gunship. It was fired at the fuel pod. A gush of flames erupted from the blast as it hit the middle of the pod.
Choking fumes filled the air, and the sound of leaking fuel grew deafening as millions of tons of fuel started to combust. The gunship shook violently. Sabine, who was usually calm under pressure, seemed to be in shock, not knowing what to do. There would be no time for everyone to board safely and take off. Hera and Ezra covered their faces and turned away, preparing for death.
Without thinking, Kanan rushed towards the explosion.
The floor was already falling apart, fires emerging from the enlarging cracks spreading all over the pod, yet Kanan placed himself firmly before the edge of the explosion, and as the reaction turned critical and the fuel exploded in one huge blast, Kanan thrust out his arms.
Hera and Ezra braced themselves to be blasted into oblivion, but the explosion never hit them. The air was immensely hot, and filled with the pungent smell of burning fuel, yet there was another layer in the air: a bubble of protection shielding them from the worst of it, directing the flames away from the gunship. Astonished, the two looked up, and were completely amazed at the scene before them.
Wave after wave of fire emerged and billowed before them, washing the sky in blinding colors of white, pink, yellow and orange. It was almost beautiful to look at: a wall of pure destruction, ready to consume them all. Flames licked the air, hungrily raging in all directions in furious speed. A silhouette of a man stood at the edge of the blast, arms raised. A layer of faint blue energy shimmered around him.
Kanan was holding back the explosion with force of will.
Hera and Ezra's eyes widened with heartbreaking understanding as they realized what is about to happen.
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...
Up at the front, Kanan Jarrus gave himself completely over to the Force.
Flames struggled to get past, curling into currents of raging inferno, bombarding against his effort to contain it. A feat like this should be impossible: no Force user could ever contain an explosion such as this for long, yet Kanan held it in place, drawing strength from his faith and commitment in the Force, and his love for the people behind him. The explosion will not touch his friends. The bubble around him strengthened.
'Kanan!'
A blood-chilling scream pierced the air, and desperate footsteps rushed towards him. Calmly, Kanan turned slightly and thrust one of his arms in the opposite direction. Hera, held in place by the Force, was lifted slightly into the air, unable to advance any further.
Holding the explosion and preventing Hera from approaching demanded every ounce of Kanan's strength. He could feel his arms threatening to give up, the explosion straining to breach his protective bubble. He could feel his body failing, muscles collapsing with exhaustion.
Kanan raised his head, facing Hera. He loved her, and they just confessed their feelings. Her scream just then tore at his heart, yet he cannot stop what he's doing. This is what he's meant to do. The loth-wolves had warned him; the Force had given him hints of his destiny. All of Kanan's life has led to this: to be in this moment when he's needed most.
He could feel Hera's shock from afar, her arm stretching out trying to reach him. He felt the tiny little life inside her, growing slowly and steadily. He had to give to both a chance to live. They deserved a future of hope and freedom. The others - Ezra, Sabine and Zeb – they all have a role to play in that future as well. He had seen it in the Force.
With another burst of strength, Kanan pushed Hera back towards the gunship, right into Ezra's arms.
Right now, as energy surrounded him and flowed through him, his entire life flashed in his mind. He saw himself among the younglings in the Jedi temple practicing lightsaber forms; he saw himself with Master Billaba fighting alongside the clones; he saw himself working odd jobs in mining companies and drinking himself to oblivion; he saw himself fighting beside the crew of the Ghost...
The faces of people he met surfaced before him: Hera, Ezra, Sabine, Zeb, Chopper, Rex, Kallus, Ahsoka, Fenn Rau, Bendu and more. He remembered telling Ezra about sacrifice, right before they left to seize an Imperial communications tower on Lothal.
'When the time comes, you have to be ready to sacrifice yourself for something bigger.' Kanan had said.
'It sounds good, but it's not so easy,' Ezra complained.
'It's not easy for me either,' he had replied. 'My master tried to show me, but I don't think I ever understood it until now, trying to teach it to you.'
This, Kanan now understood, is the ultimate expression of what it means to be a Jedi. To do things for others even at the expense of yourself, to give hope when there's none, to be an example of selflessness when no one else can. Like his master before him, Kanan gave himself over to this selfless service. And because of that, as he started to become one with the Force, the physical limitations of his body didn't matter anymore. Color returned to his eyes, and his sight cleared.
'You must be empty,' Bendu had told him, when Kanan asked how he could restore his vision. 'There is only the Force.'
He saw Hera and Ezra's pained expressions from the ship. He saw the buildings of Capital City and the polluted skyline in the distance. He saw the future of this place: clean and pure, devoid of Imperial presence. It had been so long since he'd been able to use his eyes again; he'd almost forgotten what it feels like.
Kanan cast them one last meaningful look. Then, Caleb Dume let go of the explosion, and with both arms, pushed the gunship as far away as he could. Flames ripped through his body. The explosion, now free of restraint, rampaged hungrily through the air, causing the other pods to combust as well.
This night, in memory of the Jedi who gave his life to protect his family, would later be known on Lothal as Jedi Night.
The explosion turned the sky blinding white, and ashes fell from the air the entire night.
