BPOV
The last week had been really hectic. I had started working on the new project at Cullen Inc. and I had been really busy with that. I was so glad Esme and Big Pa trusted me to lead this one. I was trying my best to meet their expectations!
"Can't sleep?" Edward whispered in my ear in a husky voice as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
It seemed like he was in a mood! It's been what... I guess more than three weeks since we last had sex?
But a lot of things had changed since then.
But I mean, we had to do this, right? We were a married couple after all! He must have his needs!
And it'd be better if we continued everything like what we had before!
"No," I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Me neither," he said as he pulled me closer and put his lips on mine.
This felt so... good after so many days!
His kisses were hungry, and his hand roamed everywhere on my body. He moaned against my lips. He seemed to be enjoying this as much as I was.
I wanted him, but I wasn't sure if he wanted me like I wanted him. Did he really want me or did he want just my body?
Did he imagine someone else when he was making love to me?
Wait, was he even making love to me?
This was just a stupid sex!
Yeah, I didn't think this would mean anything more than a casual sex for him.
"What happened? Are you not in the mood?" He whispered and kissed my forehead.
I didn't realize I was so distracted with my thoughts that I had stopped responding to his touches!
"No... Sorry... I was just... distracted," I said as I pulled him closer.
"Oh, we don't have to," he said as he tried to roll over, but I pulled him back.
Wait, was he mad at me?
No, he wouldn't be, right?
I was actually distracted. I felt bad!
"Edward, I'm so sorry! Please don't be mad! I know this is a need... I promise, I'll be focused now, okay?" I said and kissed him.
"Excuse me?" He said as he pulled back and I noticed the change in his voice.
No, I didn't think I said that in a right manner!
Did he find that offensive?
"Are you trying to imply that we should do this only because it's my need?" He asked.
"No... I mean, I'm your wife... So I know I should try to fulfill your sexual desires... No, I mean... You can find anybody else to do that... But I mean... I promise, I'll try... I was just distracted a bit..." I blabbered.
"Wow! Just wow!" He said as he rolled over and got up from the bed.
No, I guess I still didn't explain it correctly!
"Edward, I..."
"Nobody, I mean, nobody has made me feel so disgusted like you just did," he said, "Can you tell me something? When have I ever tried to force myself upon you? I can't believe you just implied that I'd do something like that even if you didn't want the same. Yes, I wanted you tonight, but not like this!"
He seemed really mad at me now! Maybe I had an incorrect judgement earlier.
"And just because I wanted you, that doesn't mean I was going to force myself upon you if you weren't in the mood! Hasn't it always been the mutual choice? Have I ever made you feel otherwise?"
He seemed really, really angry and... hurt?
"I don't understand..." he said, "What did I ever do to give you an idea that I'd want something like that?"
I had really hurt him.
I was glad the lights were off because he'd have noticed the tears in my eyes otherwise. I didn't want him to see how pathetic I was looking.
"I'm sor..."
"Don't you dare say the fucking sorry," he said.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," I managed to say.
"No, you haven't hurt me. You're nobody to hurt me," he said, "If I wanted to get hurt by my partner, I wouldn't have married you! You've just made me feel disgusted about myself, that's it!"
For the first time, I decided not to believe his words. He was clearly hurt!
"I'm sor..."
"I said I don't want to hear the sorry!" He shouted and stormed off to the bathroom.
And me?
I could finally let my tears run freely.
I didn't know why I said those things!
I didn't mean to say that he was trying to force himself upon me. That was not my intention!
Why was I so distracted? If I had stayed focused, this might not have happened!
Why was everything so fucked up?
Things were so, so good just a few days back!
I didn't understand why I had started developing feelings for him!
It spoiled everything!
I heard the shower running after some time. He was really angry! How could I make this right?
I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I couldn't go on like this!
But what could I even do?
"Edward, I'm so sorry..." I said when he was finally out after some time.
"I don't want to hear a word." He said, "And let me make something very clear to you. I'm never going to touch you again, whether it's your need or mine."
He said as he left the room and slammed the door behind him.
