A/N: A Halloween one-shot story during a unspecified time in Tokyo Ghoul! There might be some inconsistencies with canon timelines, but it doesn't really go along with the plot, its just a short story only involving two canon characters. This is a darker story with canon typical violence and violence against children.
Sorry for not updating Divinity last week, I'm having a hard time with motivation, and my writing spark was gone for a while when my anxiety meds ran out. I'll try and have that up soon, it is already mostly done anyway. Updates for that will likely be slower as I have to plan more and rethink some things. I don't want to get burnt out on Divinity so I might need a break from it.
Kiyoko had never been a good liar, but she had slowly been improving as she accepted the paper from her teacher. "Fuse-chan, please be sure your mother gets this alright? Parent conferences are quite important. Is she still sick?" Her teacher asked in concern. Despite her teacher's world weary appearance she was one of the nicest adults Kiyoko knew.
"Yes Sensei, I'm not sure if she'll be able to make it." She said and looked down to avoid looking into her teacher's eyes. Thankfully her teacher took that as a sign she was sad instead of lying.
"If she can't make it tell her to call me, my phone number is on there. You're dismissed, walk home safe alright?" She told Kiyoko before she returned to the papers on her desk. Kiyoko couldn't get out of there fast enough, her mind reeling in an attempt to come up with some sort of idea.
"Kiyoko-chan~ What did Sensei want?" Another equally short girl asked as she emerged from the classroom. Kiyoko jumped before she saw who it was that stood next to the door. She felt that she should have guessed out of anyone the girl would be the one to stay behind for her.
"You scared me Hitomi-chan… Oh just something for my mom, parent teacher meeting. I have no idea what for though…" Kiyoko complained to her best friend as they began their walk through the school towards home.
"Maybe it is because your grades are slipping? I keep telling you that I'd help you study. Want to come over to my house for that?" She asked with concern underlying her question. Kiyoko knew that she looked a bit unhealthy, and kept getting questions about it, and she knew she lost some weight. "As long as Sensei doesn't do a home visit or send the police to check on me…" She had lost several noticeable pounds that she attributed to stress from her not so unique situation.
"I'm sorry Hitomi-chan… I need to help my mom, she still isn't feeling good. Maybe some other time?" Kiyoko said as they soon were outside of the school and walking down the side of the road. She could tell her friend was a bit upset by her constant refusals, but it wasn't like she could tell her anything. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Kiyoko said with a tired smile.
"Yeah, be careful on the way home. Don't forget to make dinner while taking care of your mom okay? You're worrying me… Y-you know if you need food I could try and sneak some out to you right?" Hitomi looked so sincere it hurt Kiyoko's heart to shake her head.
"Oh it is fine, I think I might just be coming down with what ever mom has, I haven't been too hungry. Talk to you later, you get home safe also." Kiyoko said as she walked down towards her home after their routes split.
It was soon quiet except for the occasional car, and it left her with her racing thoughts. With a dull hope in her heart she climbed the stairs to her mother's and her's apartment on the third floor. Unlocking the door she kept her ears open for any sounds within as she took her shoes off. "I'm home." She quietly announced and pleaded in her heart for a response back.
"Of course she isn't here… Where are you mom?" She mumbled as she stumbled inside and slumped on the couch after tossing her backpack aside. It had been nearly a month without her mom so much as leaving a message. She knew her mom had been gone for longer periods of time before, but never this long. In her heart she knew something must have happened during ever she did when she went 'shopping'.
"It is getting harder harder to tell lies about her… I can't even ask the police about her." Her stomach clenched painfully as if to remind her that she had biological needs that were not being met, sadly those hunger pangs had become more and more common as she had to ration out what food she had. Sure she got lunch from Hitomi, but that wasn't anything she actually needed, and just made her feel worse. Eating things like rice and sandwiches had to be one of the hardest things she had to learn how to do without puking. The new hardest thing was not eating at all.
Looking in the freezer she pushed aside the packs of frozen vegetables that had been there for who knows how many years, it was all to lay on top of their food on the chance anyone visited. Her stomach gave another jolt of pain as she saw just one small onigiri sized wrapped piece of food. "I… That is all we have left? What do I do?" She thought in a panic, tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she took that pitifully small meal. After putting it on a plate and microwaving it till at least it was warm she could barely use a knife and fork her hands shook so bad. She had waited for two days to conserve the last few bits, just to find she had less than she thought.
She felt her eyes get warmer with more than just tears as she took the first meaty bite and tried to at least savor the flavor of food that didn't taste slimy and rotten. It was gone all too soon after just a few bites, but the ravenous hunger was momentarily satiated. She knew it was not near enough, and she would be hungry later, it was far too little.
For the moment all she had to occupy her mind was what homework she had, for how ever much long she could still go to school.
"Hitomi-chan, you said you would get me some food right? I'm so hungry…" Kiyoko complained as she advanced step by step towards her best friend, who backed up into the corner of her bedroom with fear and confusion in her eyes. "J-just a bite… Its fine, you're my best friend right?" Kiyoko asked in a shaky voice as she gripped her friend's forearms that Hitomi had used to hold back Kiyoko's advance.
"H-hey Kiyoko-chan what are you doing? Hey! O-ow! Stop that hurts that hurts!" A shrill scream rang out into Kiyoko's ears as she buried her teeth into the tender forearm in her hands. Her tongue was in rapture at the taste of hot blood seeping over her tongue and each bite that soothed the fire inside of her. She pulled Hitomi from the corner and tossed her with surprising strength to the floor and pinned her down.
Hitomi got a first hand look at Kiyoko's eyes, with the whites of her eyes dyed a soulless black, the same black as the web of veins that extended outwards from her eyes. Her iris's red hue was as the blood that soaked the carpet under them as more poured from the tear in the girl's forearm. "Y-you're a ghoul? What was I to you?! I trusted you!" Hitomi shouted with pained tears in her eyes.
The smile she got from Kiyoko was as disturbing as it was loving, so coated in blood as her mouth was. "I trusted you also… You're my best friend… who best to help me? I'm so starving… You kept inviting me over and I tried to stop this, this is your fault." Kiyoko whined as she finally bit down on the soft neck. She felt that pounding heart pumping blood right beneath the surface of the skin that she soon ruptured, spilling that crimson essence everywhere and painting them both a deep red in the spray.
With her stomach painfully clenching Kiyoko shot awake, her heart pounding and she could nearly taste the blood from her nightmare on her tongue. "No! She is my friend! Why would I dream about that?! What is wrong with me?…" She thought with a whimper. With how frequently those hunger pangs were coming she could tell she had lost control of her Kakugan as she felt her eyes heat up from hunger. If she went to school she would be noticed instantly, or worse she might accidentally attack someone. She had never felt that hungry before and she worried about what she might do around so many possible victims. As much as she hated the idea and knew eating people was bad, the back of her mind only had been getting louder, telling her to attack and fill her stomach until she was sated, how she would feel afterward be damned.
There would be no more sleep that night so she threw herself back into her homework, the TV turned on to give her some background noise. It had gotten depressing how much she wished she could taste all that food that got shown on the TV, all the commercials advertising the latest burger. Her mind just couldn't get off food, it was maddening! It was like that small amount of meat she had just made her hungrier knowing it was the last she had. "What am I going to do? Mom… Where are you?" She mumbled to herself as her homework was showered in tears that couldn't be held back any longer.
A part of her already knew that her mom was likely dead, there were so many ways that it could happen that it terrified her. After a month it was a possibility she had to recognize, yet her heart ached as she missed her enough that it hurt. She had already spent most of the morning crying on the couch from absolutely everything that was happening to her. The hunger was just the cherry on top of her worries.
She looked up at the clock and noticed that class would have started already. She figured she would never be able to go back at the rate she was going. She felt trapped, stuck between the choice to hurt others or further starve and probably hurt people anyway if she lost control. She could still feel her Kakugan completely flared as her body demanded food, she couldn't turn it off anymore. As she zoned out between hunger pangs her mind drifted to another option. It was the scariest option, but she wouldn't hurt anyone, she wouldn't be hungry, and she might even be able to be with her mother again, something that made her throat choke up.
The passing of time was barely noted except by the shifting light from closed blinds. She was startled by a knock on the door that sent her rolling off the couch in a panic. Her mind whirled through the possibilities of who might be behind that barrier to the outside world that ranged from a friend, to a Dove sent to kill her after they killed her mother.
"Kiyoko-chan! Are you in there?" She heard the voice of Hitomi shout through the door. As she approached the door she was at a loss of what to do, her friend deserved better than her surely… As she reached for the doorknob she made sure to keep her eyes hidden behind her bangs. She stopped as her nightmare shot back into her head, the imagined taste of her friend intruding into her thoughts, infecting her desires.
She kept the door closed and took a deep breath. "H-hitomi? Sorry I wasn't at school… I think I picked up what my mom has." She said and faked a cough as best she could, though it sounded fake.
"Yeah I noticed you weren't there, it was lonely without you… Hey if you're sick, who is taking care of both of you? You better be getting rest! Can you open the door?" Hitomi asked and checked the door knob. "I have the homework for today for you, I told Sensei I'd bring it over."
Kiyoko rested her forehead against the door and felt so conflicted. She might be able to resist a small look at her friend, but she knew she had to make it her last. She knew what had to be done, she was out of options, and she hurt so much… With shaking hands she cracked the door open, keeping her eyes closed as she barely looked at her friend through her bangs. "H-hitomi… You're my best friend, I'm sorry that… I've… I've lied to you so much." She admitted as tears fell from her eyes.
"Where is this coming from? Of course I'm your best friend, I'll always be there for you, we promised that. What do you mean? Are you not actually sick? Were you ditching?" Hitomi asked, though there was an undercurrent of nervousness in her voice as she looked as her friend who had a tight grip on the edge of the door.
"Y-yes… I'm not sick… Mom isn't sick, shes been gone…" Kiyoko admitted with a shaky sigh. "You can't come here anymore, you can't be near me, it is dangerous." It physically hurt her to say that, nearly as much as her stomach physically hurt as she hunched over from another round of her stomach complaining loudly at her.
"Kiyoko! You still haven't eaten? I-I can bring back some food! Don't be silly though, why would it be dangerous? Is your mom on a trip or something?" Hitomi innocently asked, though she thought she saw something under her friend's black bangs, a flash of red.
"Hitomi… I need you to listen to me until the end. My mom hasn't been home for a month… S-she is probably…" Kiyoko shook her head as she couldn't seem to force herself to say it. "This will be the last time we see each other. I don't want to hurt you! P-please just go…" Kiyoko looked up and met Hitomi's eyes, and saw her friend get a look of confusion on her face, whether at the black and red Kakugan eyes, or the tears on Kiyoko's face she didn't know. "I-I'm a Ghoul… I'm sorry I lied… I'm going to leave tonight, it is best for everyone." The look of confusion on her friend's face seemed to morph into horror as those words sunk in.
"Ki-Kiyoko, how did I not see that? We're… you just waiting to eat me? M-Mom says that Ghouls will try and trick you but… We've been friends for years…" Hitomi had taken a step backwards in fear that looked ready to overcome the girl and send her running away and out of Kiyoko's life.
"No! I don't want to hurt anyone! Its why… I'm going to t-turn myself in… I'm losing control and I can't p-promise I wouldn't hurt you… You b-being here in front of me is just torture." Kiyoko whimpered out as she closed her eyes again and went to close the door. She was surprised as she felt it get held open, Hitomi not yet having run off.
"Wait! I… trust you! You're still Kiyoko! I don't… I don't want you to go away!" Hitomi choked out as she also began to cry. "I know you wouldn't hurt me, not if you can help it… D-do I smell good or something?" Hitomi asked with a nervous and sad smile, her attempt to break the mood only succeeding in making them both feel worse as Kiyoko nodded.
"Y-yeah… you do, so you need to go! I hate that part of me that keeps telling me to… eat you, I'm so hungry it is driving me crazy… P-please just try and forget about me! You didn't know me, I was never here!" Kiyoko whimpered out as she shoved Hitomi fully out of the door and shut it, locking it before the girl could try and open it back up. She covered her mouth as she couldn't help the drool that spilled out between her fingers at her friend's lingering scent. "Hitomi-chan… Please just go… Before I really do eat you…" she said through the door and waited. The kick to the door surprised her.
"Idiot! I can't forget you! Y-you better come back to class or… I won't forgive you! I'm not giving up Kiyoko-chan!" Once Kiyoko heard Hitomi run away she finally let her sobs overcome her. Letting go of a friend was hard, but it was either that or she let her go after she did something unforgivable to her, either way they couldn't safely be friends anymore. She wondered if Hitomi would tell her parents, and if they would call the CCG instead… that would save her some trouble. She could only wait for time to pass at that point as she fought off her fantasies.
The sun had finally set and most of the area had become quiet, sleeping as monsters roamed around. Kiyoko could only feel like a monster as she stumbled along down the street towards her destination, her hood on to cover her glowing red eyes as she stared at the ground. "Mama… why couldn't you have taken me with you? Did Doves get you? Or did another ghoul? This is so messed up…" She thought as she finally came across the small grassy area and it's few picnic tables and benches. She had gone to this spot at night several times as the moon shined over the small pond there, as still as she knew she would likely be soon.
She hugged her knees as she sat on one bench watching over the lake, her hand gripped around the pre-paid phone that was for emergencies. "Why couldn't you have taught me how to use my Kagune already? Or how to find food? I don't want to hurt anyone!" She thought frantically as she pressed the call button on her phone. All phones in Japan had the CCG tip line already pre-saved before being put out for sale, and her's was no exception.
It was hard for her to hold it steady to her ear as her hands shook violently, enough that she barely heard the call connect through the blood pumping in her ears.
"Welcome to the CCG Hotline, all calls are monitored for quality assurance purposes. If you are calling to report an active Ghoul attack, please press 1. If you are reporting a Ghoul sighting, please press 2. If you are reporting suspicious behavior please press 3." The automated voice said on the other end.
Nearly missing a few times she pressed 2, her fight or flight instincts already telling her to flee with her life while she could. "CCG Hotline, this is Investigator Kototsu, what is the nature of your sighting?" She heard a male voice on the other end ask.
Her teeth began to chatter as she tried to get the words out. "T-there is a Ghoul at Chiba park in the 19th ward on 48th street. Please come quickly…" She barely was able to say as she knew she had to do the responsible thing, for Hitomi's sake.
"Alright Ma'am, do you have any descriptions for it? Please stay on the line." He said as she heard typing on the other end.
"They are a girl, short with black hair… In a blue hoodie." She gave them her description as a few tears couldn't help but leak from her eyes.
"Alright Ma'am, we'll send someone if we can. If you are unsafe please leave that area, do not let it see you or you may be in further danger. Please call back if there is further information." He said as he hung up.
Kiyoko set the phone down with a heavy sigh and sat there. "They call us It… they really do just see us as monsters…" She thought as sadness pooled in her gut like venom, not unlike the hunger that ate away it's way inside of her that very minute. She felt like crying again, but at the same time the tears wouldn't come. She found herself staring at the pond and the moon's reflection. "I guess that is just like a Ghoul's life… I could only be a reflection of humans, but I guess a normal life was as far away as the real moon." Kiyoko thought as she forced herself to wait there for who knows how long.
There was enough time spent on that bench that her body felt stiff and painful. She jumped slightly as she heard footsteps approaching, and she smelled two humans getting closer to her from behind. Only one of them seemed to circle around to the front at a wide angle. She heard a female inhale sharply as she must have seen that she was a child.
"Are you alright? We received a report of a Ghoul in the area." The woman asked as she knelt down a few feet in front of her to get a better look at her. "It is okay to be scared, were you the one that called us? What is your name? You can call me Inspector Mado." Mado offered. She must have noticed Kiyoko shaking in fear with her eyes closed.
"Y-yes… I called. I'm Fuse Kiyoko." Kiyoko quietly got out, her fear making her voice waver, like she was barely there. Her breathing came in faster as she recognized that situation she was in fully, one of her own making. "There is no backing out now… Bye Hitomi…"
"Fuse-chan, could you tell us where the Ghoul is? We're investigators, and we'll get rid of that scary Ghoul for you." Mado must have thought she was comforting, but her words just made Kiyoko tremble further, and a hiccuping sob come from her.
Slowly Kiyoko raised her hand with her eyes still closed, and pointed at herself, at which point she tensed up and waited for what ever might happen. "M-me… I'm a Ghoul…" She finally admitted out loud with another fearful sob.
"It isn't good to tell lies Fuse-chan, making false reports can get you and your family into trouble. If this is some prank you need to come clean." Mado told Kiyoko, but she could tell by the sound of her shifting feet that the woman was now on guard, and from behind her she heard the snapping of one of the briefcases that Doves carried around opening.
"I'm not lying…" She mumbled and cracked open her eyes to finally look at Mado, giving the woman a clear glimpse at her active Kakugan that she still couldn't turn off. Mado's demeanor changed in an instant as she had jumped back and opened up her own case, revealing a whip-like Quinque. Kiyoko wanted to shut her eyes again and just wait, but her fear paralyzed her. The silent Investigator behind her had circled around also with his long bladed Quinque bared against her, not letting her see his back for a moment as he looked around the area.
"I suppose this is a good time for you to learn that anyone could be a Ghoul Investigator Mado. I've run into a few child Ghouls before, you can't let your guard down around it, even if it looks like a child." The man said as he glared into her sad red eyes. "Keep your senses open, this feels like an ambush. What is your game Ghoul? How many are nearby." He asked in an icy tone.
"N-no! I just… I just didn't know… what else to do… I'm alone now." She admitted and stayed seated their and wondered to herself if dying would hurt. "I'm just so hungry and… I c-can't stop looking at my best friend… Please don't let me become a k-killer! I don't want to hurt anyone! It hurts so much… I-if I didn't call I think I might have… attacked someone… I don't want to…" She closed her eyes again with another sob, her stomach reminding her of it's empty state with more painful clenches.
"What is it that you think Investigators do? Do you think we adopt Ghouls? Or are some sort of Ghoul food program?" The man said in an annoyed tone, no less on guard than before.
Mado even had shifted gears from the kind face at the start to a cold killing machine like her partner. "First time seeing a Ghoul child… It is disturbing, that trash can try and act human. You can stop the fake tears, you aren't fooling anyone." Mado hissed at her.
"Even I already know… Doves kill Ghouls, no matter who they are or how old they are. I was told to get away as fast as possible from you all if I ever saw you, but… Please s-stop me! I've never hurt anyone before, mom didn't either before she disappeared… We just lived in peace." She looked up from her legs and met Amon's eyes, and saw him soften just a bit. At the very least she wasn't much of a threat herself, to them at least. With a couple more deep breathes she forced herself off the bench and watched them tense up like she would lunge at them. "Just a bit more… Mom, I'll see you soon…" She thought as more tears welled up before she sunk to her knees in front of them. "Please just… don't let me become a killer. W-when you kill me…" She visibly had to force herself to talk through her fear as she looked at the ground, her head bowed just a bit. "Please do it in… one go." She nearly whispered out.
She stiffened up as she heard the tall man move closer to her. She didn't want to see it coming, and just tried to distract her mind from the fact she would die with memories. Her mother sewing on the couch as she did her homework, or her helping her with it. Remembering the first time she met Hitomi brought a fresh wave of emotion to her as she hoped her friend would be fine. "S-sorry… Hitomi."
Investigator Amon had killed many Ghouls, and seen even more killed, especially when he worked with his current partner's father, a veritable genius with a Quinque and a model investigator. In his years with the CCG he had never had a situation like what he was encountering though. He initially suspected a trap, yet there were no signs of any other Ghouls around lying in wait for an ambush.
Even if she hadn't directly asked him, he knew that she was asking him to kill her, there wasn't much else he could do for her. In a way he felt Ghouls were pitiful. He had long figured out that Ghouls do have their own emotions, and surprisingly it hurt his heart to listen to this small girl who was maybe 10. It was her eyes that struck him though, the sadness and resignation in them. It didn't change what he had to do, but he believed her when she said she had never killed anyone. "Just like that other time…" One other Ghoul had asked him the same thing, to not let him become a killer. This was a new context for that statement to him though, a Ghoul actively trying to commit suicide by Investigator. He wished it wasn't a child at the very least.
With her head bowed like that he moved to her side. Gripping his Quinque with both hands he raised it above the girl, and aimed. At the very least he would make it a clean death, in the hopes she wouldn't feel it. His mentor might have taught him that Ghouls deserved no mercy, and he would have likely made her suffer for a while before ending her, but he felt that that would be too much here.
As his blade fell he could have sworn he heard her mutter something right before his Quinque sunk into her neck, slicing through that RC cell toughened skin all the way through. With a wet plop that head landed on the ground and rolled for a moment, till it stopped and faced him. Despite killing so many Ghouls he felt he would remember seeing the light leave those eyes as her detached body collapsed twitching and released her blood onto the grass.
She tried to fight against the panic for as long as she could, especially as she heard the man stand by her side, she knew then that her head would end up on the ground soon enough. "If… there is a second life, please just let me be born as a human that could be friends with Hitomi again." She thought as she took a big exhale and tried to relax just a bit. "…Thank you." She muttered out right before she felt strange sense of detachment and an impact on her head that didn't quite hurt as her senses seemed to not process the pain of a fall.
Kiyoko felt herself roll for a moment, and couldn't get her thoughts to connect to each other. Things became blurry as she looked up at that man and the pity on his face. Soon enough though her vision cut out and she could feel nothing else, all half made thoughts leaving her just like the carmine liquid that continued to leave her, releasing her spirit along with it.
No words were said between the partners as they watched the girl till she was entirely still, neither feeling good about the situation, yet it was done. They both shared the wish that she would find peace in whatever afterlife Ghouls might get.
A/N: I meant for this to be a scary story for Halloween, yet I think I turned it into a feels trip instead since it is making me sad. writing it! ;-;
These types of stories tend to burrow in my brain until I write them. I can't help but write tragedies… I have another longer Tokyo Ghoul story in the planning phase, but no guarantees that comes to anything.
