Chapter 7
El
It was morning, sunlight streamed through the window as El opened two weary eyes. With an effort she sat up in bed aching all over. It was after surveying her room that she remembered, though of course she had not really forgotten. Her cloths lay cast aside on the floor, the posters, her Tennis posters had been vandalised, many of them containing huge rips. She looked up and with shock saw her Martina Navratilova poster had been torn to shreds. "No," she said getting onto her knees, nursing it as if it were alive, "no, no, no."
Then with a wild movement El sprang off the bed and leafed through her closet tossing everything onto the floor frantically. Eventually she found her Tennis racket, miraculously unharmed. El took it tenderly in her arms and sank onto the bed, rocking silently. She stroked the black leather, "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm so sorry."
But even this fell to the floor with a bang as she realised the greatest sorrow. Mike. "MIKE!" El yelled a fresh load of tears beginning to stream. "Where was he?" El thought with desperation. She looked around the room as if he would materialise from thin air. "He could be hurt he could be in danger he." And it was all her fault.
El's chest tightened as she imagined all the things that could have happened to him and of course the things she had said to him. "He was only being Mike," she thought. "Kind, caring loving." And she had attacked him like a wild animal laid it all bare in raw nakedness. He must have thought she was crazy. El brought her knees up to her chest continuing to rock. "Maybe I am crazy," she said silently to herself.
It took some time but El eventually moved, sliding her legs to the floor. Weakly, she pulled on her dressing gown and in a trance like state left the room. She walked over to the closed door of Will's room. Hesitating a moment, El knocked, there was no answer, she knocked again. "Will, are you there?" She asked pleadingly. Still nothing, El pressed her forehead against the door, terrified that another of the stabling influences in her life had deserted her.
"El?" She heard a small voice from the side and turned. Will was standing before her, dumbstruck, a bowl of cereal in his hand. "What must she look like" El wondered, ragged hair, face streaming. But she did not care. With a deep sob she threw her arms around him. "Hey," Will said, worry permeating his voice, "it's ok El, it's ok," he rubbed her back softly. With her arms still locked around him and balancing a bowl of cereal, Will manoeuvred himself to the door. He opened it from behind and walked backwards taking El with him. He put the bowl on his desk and sat on the bed. Without warning El collapsed onto him her head against his shoulder. She lay there silently for some time.
Will gave an instinctive kiss to the top of her head and continued patiently to hold her.
After what felt like an eternity El's tears finally abated, her eyes feeling red raw, perhaps there were none left to cry. "Hey," Will said stroking her hair, "it's ok." "I wish, it was." El managed to say just about. Will breathed and gently sat up bringing her with him. He gave a sympathetic smile, "now what's brought this on?" He asked with characteristic Willness.
"And where's?" He was about to add. "Mike's not here," El said with a huge sense of emptiness. "Ok," Will said, "do you know where he is?" "No," El said welling up again. "Look" Will said, "my cereal is getting soggy, why don't you have a shower? I'll eat up, put on some coffee and we can talk about it ok?" El nodded, sensing it was a good idea.
"Ok," she said removing herself from Will. El walked into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt soothing against her skin, it allowed her to feel something, she did not want it to stop. "El," a voice came from outside, "your coffee's getting cold, plus you're using all the hot water in town." El could not help but smile, Will was so amazing. "Alright," she said and turned it off. Getting changed amidst the carnage of her bedroom, El cast a sad look around, so many treasured things ruined. She left as soon as she could.
In the kitchen Will greeted her with a steaming cup and a Pop Tart. "Aww you shouldn't have," she said picking it up and taking a nibble, "it's my pleasure," Will said proudly. He took a seat opposite, "now, what's been happening?"
With painful recollection, El told Will everything that had happened at the restaurant, including everything she had said. She expected him to be angry for how his best friend had been treated. In fact, she wanted him to be, it might help her deal with her emotions.
Will however did not look angry. He looked concerned and thoughtful. "Well," he said letting out a breath, "I wouldn't worry about Mike too much, he's very resourceful, he's probably got himself a room or something." "Yeah," El said looking down, "I hope so." "I know so," Will said meeting her downward gaze, making her look up. "It's you I'm worried about."
"Me?" El said. This was all too much it was like her reaction to Mike all over again. "I despise me" El said emphatically pointing to her chest, "I treated the only man I've ever loved abysmally, and not only that. I cheated on him too." "You did not cheat on him," Will said. "But" El stuttered. "El," Will said with a firmness that made her gasp, "you," he said slowly, "did not cheat on him."
She sank back, looking at him like a rabbit in headlights. "How do you know?" she asked. "Because I know you," Will said with conviction "and the El I know would never do that." "Maybe that's the problem" she said distractedly, "maybe I'm not the El you know, I don't know who I am anymore."
Will paused for a moment. "If this is too intrusive forgive me and you don't have to say if you don't want to". "No, I want to," El said eagerly, wanting to lay her burden on somebody. "Ok" Will said calmly, "tell me from the beginning."
"Well," El began falteringly, it all started when I began going to Tennis coaching.
Flashback
"Right, everyone!" The coach in front of her said rousingly, "are you ready to begin?" "Yeah," they all said emphatically, apart from El.
Surrounded by strangers, ready to improve their game, so far ahead of her no doubt, El felt embarrassed. But there was one thing, an ounce of strength that stayed with her. She had finally bought her own racket.
It was a Slazenger air-break modal, she had seen it at the local sports store, hanging there, beckoning. She admired the black leather case, smooth to the touch, the white lettering on the side shining bright. An assistant had arrived and attempted to sell it to her, explaining all the features. But there was no need; it was impressive from a technical point of view, but more than that, El felt something. A kind of mystical presence when she gripped the handle, that she could not fathom. The weight felt perfect, the grip, the alignment, "I'll take it" El said suddenly. "Great!" The assistant said, happy to have made a sale, "I'll take it to the till for you."
He eagerly went off with El following. Normally she would have hesitated as the price came up. But this was something she had to buy. Besides, she rarely spent any money anyway. She had shown it to MR Carson at their next lesson who admired it, "my, my" he said approvingly, "this is a nice modal." "And all the better," he added smiling, "I've sorted out your first coaching session tomorrow."
El was over the moon, "thank you, thank you so much sir" she said, beaming. "No worries" he said, "let me know how you get on ok?"
El returned to her senses as the coach began striding up and down. "My name is Simon," he said confidently, "and I'll be coaching you." "How it works is this; we will be working on a different skill every week, positioning, backhand etc." "For now, I'll pair you all up and I promise." He said with a pause. "I will get round all of you, give you some tips and pointers, ok?"
The group shifted silently eager to get going. "Right then" Simon said happily "let's do this." He began to pair people together, El was paired with another girl, who walked towards an empty court at high speed. El jogged to keep up surprised by her abruptness. "Hi," she said as was her way, holding out a hand, "I'm Jane." "Kerry" the girl said taking her hand for the briefest of moments, "are you any good?" "I," El stuttered, "I'm not bad," "well we'll see," Kerry said dismissively, taking up her position.
Before El was quite ready, Kerry was preparing to serve, she smashed the ball with accuracy, and El unable to time her leap saw the ball sail past her. The next one she managed to hit but Kerry swiped with a deadly backhand, out of El's reach. Every ball seemed to be out of her reach. She felt like a ragdoll, lumbering about the court.
Finally, her turn to serve came and she tried to console herself; "at least I'll get to hit it this time." El tried to remember the book she had been reading, giving advice on serving technique, she bounced the ball three times and leaned downwards ready to complete an arch motion. "Come on hurry up!" Kerry shouted impatiently from the other side. El felt determined, with a slight anger boiling inside she released her body in a whip like motion, tossing the ball in the air. But it was too high, she swung and missed it, the ball bounced softly onto the ground and away from her.
"God!" Kerry said huffing, "I'm sorry but you're wasting my time", "all the gear, no idea" she said indicating El's new racket. She walked off in a huff.
El felt so small and it could not help but remind her, as she swung for the ball, out of her reach. If only she had her power, she could have coaxed it towards her. But that was, El hung her head sadly.
"Hey," a voice came from behind, she looked up fighting the emotion back. It was the coach, "you want to try that again?" He asked reassuringly. "Not really" El said letting out a breath. "Well," he admitted kindly, "your technique was pretty good." "I didn't even hit the ball" El said with a hint of impatience. "That's why you need to try again" Simon said with conviction, "come on let me show you."
El felt humiliated as Simon instructed her how to position her legs and arms, "I know all this already" she said to herself. But there was something in his voice, something calm and reassuring. "Now your motion is good," he said almost whispering, "but you need to keep your eye on the ball, ok?" "Don't worry about what your racket is doing, just focus on the ball." El nodded. She tossed the ball in the air seeing it spiral, the white line doing loops. Without glancing away, she brought the racket up and made contact. It hit centre, sending the ball flying to the other side and into the opponents, box.
"Well, there you go", Simon said genuinely impressed, "you can do it." El felt it again, that spark, a kindling fire. "Kieron!" Simon called into the distance. Another boy came wondering over, "can you have a knock with." "Jane" El informed him. "Jane, for a bit," he said, "I've got to get to the other students."
"Sure," Kieron said turning to El, "so, are you practicing your serve?" "Yeah," El said feeling a smile rising upon her a face. "Great" Kieron said warmly, "then let's take it from the top."
The rest of the session went well. El did not hit every ball quite like that one time but gradually her consistency went up and with that her happiness. Even the mistakes felt like progress. And that feeling, the burn inside her, whenever a successful shot was made. "Ok everyone!" A voice brought her back to her senses, "that was a good session, keep working on it and I'll see you all soon."
El was disappointed that it was all over but dutifully followed the group. "Jane?" She turned around to see Simon sprinting towards her. "Erm," he said nervousness creeping into his voice, "how, was that for you?" "Really good," El said quickly, "thank you so much for your help."
"No problem," Simon said shifting his feet awkwardly. "I'm sorry if this is really presumptuous but, what would you say to some one-on-one coaching?" "One on," this was really appealing to El. "But I can't" she said, "it would be unfair on everyone else." Simon wanted to say something explicit but managed to bite back the words. "It's fine I normally do it for students who are struggling," "not that you're struggling," he tried to backpedal. "But I think you would learn better that way," he raced, "I saw how Kerry stormed off on you, that was not fair."
El found herself stepping forward putting a hand on Simon's shoulder to console him, "it's ok" she said, "erm, yeah if you have the time, then I would like that." "GREAT!" Simon exclaimed, "erm, I mean, cool we'll arrange a time." "Sorry I've got to go now" he said checking his watch, "see you soon Jane," he sprinted off.
El stood there bemused, "did that just happen?" She thought to herself as she wondered off the court. But the image of Simon's awkwardness soon vanished, consumed by fire. El felt a surge that almost made her weep for joy, "one-on-one coaching," she mouthed to herself, with a patient, understanding coach.
…
"So that's why," Will interrupted. "Why, what?" El asked, suddenly brought out of her narrative. "That's why you looked so consumed, whenever you came home from Tennis how you couldn't even talk to me and mom." "Yeah, I guess" El admitted, "just that feeling, that I had, even a little bit," she said with an ache, "got my power back."
"Right," said Will satisfied, answering a lot of questions for him. But his expression changed to pity as he saw El gazing at the floor in silence. "You don't have to go on if you don't want to," he said soothingly. "No, I do" she said placing her hand on Will's arm, "I need to."
El continued her account, telling Will about her one- on-one coaching with Simon, how she continued to get better and better. Gradually buying the posters, and everything else with obsession, until that fateful evening.
…
"Jane, you are a marvel!" Simon exclaimed as he saw her hit another ball into the centre of the target. They were in the training room, and she was aiming shots against a target on the wall, hitting the bullseye regularly. "Well," El said playfully, "I have a good teacher." "Yeah," Simon said going red, "well why don't we do a lap and call it a day?" "Sure," El said, she dropped her equipment by the bench and began her run. Simon did not join her, the sight of her figure mesmerising him. El noticed this and paused as she passed him. "Everything ok Simon?" She asked with curiosity.
"It's nothing," Simon said with a nervous chuckle swinging his arms. "Come on" El said, motioning him over to the bench "tell me what's wrong mate." "Mate?" Simon said confused. "Yeah," El replied, "I know you're my Tennis coach, but I'd like to think we're friends." "Yeah" Simon said quickly, gratefully, "yeah definitely!"
El smiled as Simon seemed to perk up a bit, "so what's on your mind?" He looked away distractedly, trying to find the words. "I'm just a bit sad Jane." "Why is that?" El asked, concern on her face. "Well," Simon said bashfully, "you, you've improved so much and, I don't think, I can justify keeping you on one to one."
El squeaked closer to him. "It doesn't have to end," she said, with conviction. "Sure, I've got better but that's all the more reason to keep playing you, as an equal."
This was going better than Simon could have expected, he felt a confidence brimming inside him. "That," he said turning to her, "that really means a lot, Jane thank you." "No problem" El said, "as they say, the way to get better is to play someone better than you." "Well," Simon laughed "the shoe might be on the other foot soon."
That made, her laugh, that laugh. Before he knew what he was doing Simon had moved right in front of her. "Jane," he stated, "I, really like you." At these words El felt a breath escape from her lips, she had never been in a situation like this before.
"Simon," she began but before she knew it, he had leaned forward, and his lips were on hers. El felt trapped, rooted to the spot, not sure what to do, how to react. And yet, there was something in his kiss, something, kind, reassuring, something she had not felt in a long time. She did not pull away. Simon took this as a signal to continue. It had been so long since she's kissed anyone, not since.
El backed away with a start causing a pop sound to reverberate around the hall as the kiss broke. "Jane," Simon said faltering "I." El stood up her head swimming, "I erm, I, better go," she said grabbing her racket and walking away leaving a frozen Simon on the bench. Gradually her walk broke into a run as she charged through the leisure centre and across the car park. She ran past her bus stop and onwards for what felt like an eternity. "If I keep running," she thought irrationally, "I can make it, so it did not happen."
But gradually the thought betrayed her, and she stopped, panting, a stich building in her side. El staggered to a nearby bench and collapsed onto it.
Gradually the pain dispersed. But a new kind of pain flooded to take its place, an emotional pain, as the image of Mike came into her mind. "Sweet, kind, wonderful Mike," who she had now betrayed. "Mike," the word escaped El's lips as if he was sitting next to her, "I," but no words came, tears began to fall clouding her vision. The dark branches of sorrow entwining themselves around her.
Suddenly they were replaced with anger, she gazed at her Tennis racket with insanity, as if she could snap all of its strings with her mind. "This is your fault" she angrily thought to herself and picked up the racket ready to smash it on the ground. But she could not bring herself to do it. Instead, she let it fall with a clatter. Sitting down El put her head in her hands. The intense emotions of sadness and anger overwhelming her. "This is my fault." She told herself sternly.
El had finished her account. She looked fixated on the table not daring to look at up.
"El," a voice called trying to get her back to reality. At its sound she looked up, but no one was there, startled she gazed around frantically before finally finding Will's eyes, which had moved to her side. His angry, no not angry, kind eyes, "don't look at me like that" El breathed, "I don't deserve your pity."
"It's not pity" Will said with clarity, "it's understanding." "Under." El could not believe what she was hearing. "Weren't you listening?" El said her voice shaking, "I cheated on Mike!"
"You didn't" Will said putting his hand reassuringly on her shoulder. "You and Mike are in a long-distance relationship", he said sagely, "and those are really hard, the way you two have worked on it together is amazing." He paused. "And sometimes these things can happen." "But you two love each other," he said gazing into her eyes, "I'm sure you can work this out."
"I don't know," El said her lip trembling, she did not want to have to say it, the final dreadful truth. "The truth is Will, when Simon kissed me, I liked it." Will went to say something but El interrupted, "it had been so long, since I'd felt anything like that, and I enjoyed it." "I only broke off because Mike suddenly flooded into my mind," she said with damming finality.
El looked away bracing for impact for the tell-tale sound of Will's steps as he stormed off in disgust. But no sound came. "Like I said" Will ventured, "I'm sure you can work this out." "But" El pleaded, "no buts El" Will told her in a matter-of-fact manner.
Seeing El faltering, Will put his arm round her. "I don't know where Mike is or what's he's feeling but I'm not letting the two of you throw this away." "You need to talk openly and frankly about it." "You're meant to be together," he finished with precision.
For the first time that day El allowed herself to relax a little her head falling onto Will's shoulder, "do," she said softly, "do you think he will forgive me?" "Knowing Mike" Will said, "he would forgive you for anything."
El breathed a sigh and closed her eyes drawing Will into a hug. "I hope so," she said to herself.
Simon
Earlier that day
The buzz of the alarm clock vibrated throughout the room, Simon yawned and opened his eyes, scanning about him. He brought his hand heavily upon the snooze button. As the sound faded, he closed his eyes contentedly. He'd had the best night sleep in ages and wasn't ready to give it up yet. It was all because of one person, Jane, or as he now knew her, El.
"El," he thought to himself "I wonder what it stands for." It did not matter really, the two letters sufficed, giving a delightful ring off his tongue.
Even though it had been weeks since Simon's terrible conduct towards El it seemed to rise in his mind as he was about to sleep, or when he had a moment of quiet. He would never forget her face, the shock, the surprise. The humiliation as she walked, and then ran, away from him. He would go over and over it in his mind. How could he have been so stupid, so cruel. He had been in relationships before and usually had great restraint. But there was something about her that drove him crazy. Her love for Tennis, her wonderful laugh, the playful banter. He had been so selfish.
He was her coach, her friend, and he had betrayed her trust.
Simon had contented himself that he would never see her again. Would not be able to inflict any more harm, the visions of her face and the sleepless nights felt like a just punishment.
Yet she had entered his life again, when he saw her in the leisure centre that day his heart had leaped. Maybe, just maybe, she could forgive him. But that was too much surely, nothing that he deserved. But they'd had a wonderful Tennis match and a great chat afterwards, everything felt like it was moving back to the way things were.
Then came yesterday, the strangest of days. The revelation that she had a boyfriend knocked him over. The final nail in the coffin he thought, not only had he betrayed a friend, he'd, potentially harmed her relationship, unable to imagine the hurt he must have put her through.
But this extraordinary girl, she had not only forgiven him, she, opened up herself to him. He ran through his conversation with her on the bench again and again not wanting to forget a single detail. As if this was not enough, he had then been able to help in her hour of need. It was a simple car journey but to him if felt like an epic event. And, she had kissed him, he lightly touched the spot on his cheek where her lips had fallen. Simon could not help but supress a smile, she truly was, extraordinary. BEEP BEEP!
The alarm made it's annoying ring again. Sighing Simon turned it off deciding he had better get up, he had two coaching sessions in the morning before he had agreed to meet Kieron at the leisure centre.
He got up and went through his morning routine; shower, breakfast, getting changed. As he pulled on his training gear and placed his Tennis whites in a bag, he could not help but smile. He imagined all the matches that, hopefully, he would get to play with El in the future, watching her improve, honestly, he thought, she could turn pro one day. Though that might be because he liked her so much. Shaking his head at himself, Simon grabbed his bag and headed out the house towards his car.
The two coaching sessions had gone well and were over quickly. Now Simon sat on the bench at the leisure centre waiting for Kieron to arrive, the same one he and El had sat on. He glanced over to the empty space feeling her presence beside him, he breathed a contented sigh, hoping that she'd had a wonderful time at Pomero's with, Mike. Simon wondered what he must be like, "probably like a modal he thought, confident, strong, really good looking." But he banished the thought away, it did not matter what he looked like. The point was that El clearly loved him and that was all that mattered. "I just hope, he knows how lucky he is."
Simon was interrupted from his thoughts with the sight of Kieron's car screeching into the car park, he stood up walking over to greet him. "Hey man," Simon said grasping Kieron's hand, "how are you doing?"
"Good thanks," Kieron said with a yawn. "Long night?" Simon asked jokingly, "were you 'inundated' at the motel?" "Nah," Kieron said, only had three guests, "just had a lot on my mind." "Oh, really" Simon said intrigued, "like what?" "It doesn't matter" Kieron said dismissively, "let's get going, it'll help take my mind off things." "Ok" Simon said, "whatever you want mate."
The two played their match, a single set which Simon won 6-4, though Kieron had put up a good fight in the middle. "You need to watch your backhand" Simon told him as they sat beside the court afterwards, "that's what's letting you down man, I can always take advantage from that side." "Yeah, I know," Kieron said distractedly.
"Now come on," Simon said playfully, "what's on your mind?" Kieron looked at him, "it's just, I had this really weird conversation with one of the guests at the motel last night." "Really?" Simon enquired.
"Yeah," Kieron went on, "he came in around midnight, really nicely dressed but he looked like his whole world had fallen apart." Simon nodded for him to continue. "I felt sorry for him, so I offered him a cup of coffee." "And he really seemed to need to talk, told me all about his evening, said he'd accused his girlfriend of cheating on him." "They'd had this massive argument and she had stormed off said he did not know how that left things."
"Ahh ok" Simon said looking down, he knew what it was like to feel lost when a girl was involved, "sounds rough." "Yeah, I got off my shift at 5:00 so I didn't see him go, but I just hope he can sort things out."
"Yeah, me too" said Simon kindly, "is that all?" "Yeah" Kieron said, "only, nah it's nothing." "What?" Simon asked suddenly interested. "Well, I said it was a weird conversation, he asked me about my love life, I think it was helping him deal with the stuff in his head." "That's a bit personal," Simon admitted. "Yeah," Kieron agreed, "but the strangest thing was at the end, he asked what I was doing tomorrow, and I told him I was playing Tennis with a friend." "And he suddenly started, freaking out, as if that subject triggered something in him. He looked really bad, after that he went to bed."
"Yeah, that is," Simon began. But there was a thought in his head that he could not shake off, as if his brain was piecing an unknown jigsaw together. "Out of interest" Simon ventured, "I know you're not supposed to tell me guests names. I'm just wondering if I know him, maybe I can help?" "Well," Kieron said, "yeah, I'm not supposed to. But yeah, his name was Mike."
"Mike," Simon thought. "No, it had to be a coincidence." "Did, he tell you where he had been that night?" "Yeah," Kieron said, casting his memory back, "I think it was Pomero's."
Simon's mind focused. "Tennis, Pomero's, Mike, no it couldn't be." "What's gotten into you?" Kieron asked with a chuckle, "you look like Sherlock Holmes working on a case."
Simon did not hear him his mind was whirring. "Did he have anything with him, a change of clothes?" "I don't know" said Kieron sensing an odd feeling coming from his friend, "what's this all about Simon?" "I don't know," he said, "it's just, a feeling." "Well, if we're chasing feelings, no I don't think he did" Kieron said, "he was wearing, like a grey tweed jacket and trousers and a white shirt."
This was all Simon needed, he stood up. "I have to go Kieron I've got stuff to do." He quickly moved off, leaving Kieron sitting on the bench, flummoxed.
…
Simon drove his car to Bennet's court where Kieron worked, maybe he was crazy, maybe he was obsessing over this or. Well, he had to find out either way. He drove around the neighbourhood looking for someone who matched Kieron's description, presuming he would have left the motel by now. After a few laps, he had not seen anyone.
Sighing, Simon turned the car ready to go home. But decided on an impulse to keep looking, he did a U turn at the next junction and drove back to the Motel, parking up. Next door was a park. Simon entered, walking past families and groups of people, standing out like a sore thumb in his Tennis whites. Beside the large pond he saw a lone figure on a bench, shoulders slumped, untidy black hair waving in the breeze.
Simon approached slowly hoping not to draw his gaze, sure enough he had a grey tweed jacket, trousers, white shirt. Simon swallowed hard, "even if, it is him." He suddenly found himself thinking. "What on earth do I say?" He suddenly felt the need to retreat, his legs trying to carry him back but his head driving him onwards in curiosity.
"Are you ok?" A voice came from the figure's direction. Simon turned with a start and saw the mystery person gazing at him, he must have looked an odd sight, wanting to move in two directions at once.
"Erm, yeah," Simon managed, "just, that's my favourite seat," he lied pathetically. "Oh," the person said looking down, "I was just leaving anyway" and went to get up. "No, no, don't leave on my account" Simon laughed awkwardly, and quickly sat next to him. He eyed Simon curiously, standing up, "it's ok I'll, go," he sighed, "it's not like it matters where I sit."
"Well," Simon faltered, "this one has, the best view! You can see all across the pond and to the woods at the back." The person surveyed the scene and slowly sat back down, "yeah, it is a nice view I guess."
"Sure is," Simon said trying to sound genuine. He reached out an unsteady hand, "my name is Si, Stephen," he said catching himself, the person looked at him with suspicion but returned his grip, "Mike" he said.
The two sat in silence. Simon could not believe the situation he had created, he had lied about his name, about his reason for being there and had introduced himself to a stranger. Thankfully Mike broke the silence. "You just come from the Tennis club?" he asked, surveying his cloths with what Simon was sure looked like distain.
"Erm, yeah" Simon said, not wanting to lie to him again. Mike let out a harsh chuckle and looked up at the sky, "man what have you got against me?" He muttered. "What was that?" Simon asked hurriedly. "Oh, it's nothing" Mike said returning his gaze to the ground, "it's stupid." "Ahh" Simon said. "It's just," Mike suddenly responded raising his head, "I've not had much appreciation for Tennis lately."
"Ok," Simon said, hoping that he would be open with him, "mind if I ask why?"
"Its" Mike breathed, clearly hard for him to say, "it's my girlfriend, my", Simon could see the e of a possible 'ex' appearing on Mike's lips, but he stopped himself. "Anyway, you don't want to hear about my problems, you want to enjoy your view."
"No," Simon said a little too eagerly, pricking Mike's suspicion back up. "No, I mean it's helpful to talk, you know, if you want to, I know I'm a total stranger but." "Yeah," Mike interrupted with acknowledgement, "it is helpful to talk."
"Well," Simon probed, "if I was to guess" he said looking Mike up and down, "I mean you're a little over dressed for sitting on a park bench. I recon you got stood up."
"Oh, I wish" Mike said resting his hand on his chin, "no?" Simon went on, "so what actually happened?" Mike turned to Simon, analysing him. Simon worried that his cover might somehow have been blown. "Well maybe this is poetic justice," Mike said flatly, "nothing against you," he added, "but it seems Tennis will be the death of me."
With that Mike gave him a brief sketch of his evening at Pomero's.
"There could be no doubt Simon thought to himself, it had to be him. Mike, El's Mike."
Now that he was nearly 100% sure Simon felt himself doing the analysing. He certainly wasn't a model, he looked really average, didn't look like he worked out much either, how could El go for. But he slapped the thought out of his mind.
"Erm, I'm going to go I think." The words brought Simon back to reality and he saw Mike slowly getting up, an annoyed look on his face. "Oh, don't go man" Simon pleaded. "Yeah, I think I better" Mike said, "you, were looking at me really weird."
Simon flinched. "Oh, I'm sorry." "Yeah," Mike drawled off, "enjoy your view." He began to walk away, Simon beat his leg with his fist, "Simon you idiot" he said under his breath. "Hey," a voice said. Simon looked up to see Mike standing over him, arms folded.
"Since you're in that outfit I have to ask you. I might not get another chance." He added a little distractedly. "Do you know a guy called Simon at your club?"
The breath suddenly escaped from Simon's lungs his chest felt tight. "Erm, yeah kind of," Simon said haltingly. "What do you mean kind of?" Mike demanded.
"This was it" Simon thought, "I can't lie anymore, I got myself into this mess." "Yeah, I do because," he gulped, "that's me."
Simon could not fathom the expression on Mike's face, it was like 4 emotions were playing all at once, "you said your name was Ste." Mike said through gritted teeth before breaking off. He turned away looking out over the pond.
"I could make a retreat now," Simon thought to himself cowardly before Mike said. "Do you know a girl called Jane Hopper?" The question struck Simon square in the chest. "Erm, I." Mike sat heavily next to him, "do you know Jane Hopper yes or no?" He asked with cold precision, Simon felt like he was being interrogated by the Police. "Yes," he eventually managed.
Mike's eyes burned but he quickly took his gaze off Simon. He stood up and paced for what felt like an eternity his shoulders hunched. Eventually he sat down, another long silence. "Why did you lie to me?" Mike asked gazing ahead. "Lie?" Simon began. "You said your name was Stephen!" Mike hissed.
"Oh," Simon said trying his best to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry Mike, I just thought if I told you, you would not want to talk to me." Mike gave a hollow laugh, "that's an understatement!" He said, "but since you're here," Mike said with great difficultly. "I have to ask; how did you find me? Did Jane send you?"
Simon's heart began to race, realising that he might have made a difficult situation 100 times worse. "No," he said quickly, "she doesn't know I'm here. Kieron my friend, works at the motel, said he spoke to you last night."
Mike looked at him in disbelief, "is there just some huge conspiracy against me?" He said half to Simon and half to himself, "are you all in it together?" "There is no conspiracy Mike" Simon stated. "Then what is this!" Mike exclaimed his voice raising, "My girlfriends 'bit on the side' seeks out her ex to tell him that it's over between them?"
"I'm not her 'bit on the side'" Simon said a harsh edge to his voice, "it's not like that." "Oh, I see" Mike said, looked him up and down, "a good-looking guy like you, bet you've got girls all over town, well how was it with Jane? I hope it was."
Simon starting to feel angry himself beginning to prepare a retort. But Mike faltered. He did not finish his quip and fell silent.
Simon sensed a change come over him, a shadow of sadness passing over his body. "How," Mike said silently, "how long has it been going on for."
"I told you Mike," Simon said in the most honest tone he could, "nothing is going on." Mike shook his head, "please, Simon," he said his name with a controlled shudder, "you've lied to me once today, surely you owe me the truth." "I've told you the truth" Simon stated plainly, "there is nothing going on between me and El."
Simon put a hand to his mouth as he realised the two letters had escaped his lips. At their sound Mike stiffened and his eyes once burning now turned to ice. His hands shook. "She, told you, her name?" "Yeah," Simon said frankly, "she did."
This realisation had the exact opposite effect on Mike that Simon thought it would. This person once so angry with him now turned with an uncanny expression, one of, apology.
"I see," Mike said his dark eyes beginning to swim. He stood up, "I'm sorry I yelled at you." Simon watched in disbelief. "I won't bother you anymore." Mike began to walk away.
Simon tried to yell, to call him back but could not, he was frozen in astonishment.
"Just," he looked up as he heard Mike's voice float to him a visible sob on his words. "Just tell El I," he could not finish, he sank to his knees.
Simon freed from his paralysis ran over, "Mike!" He said leaning down and grabbing him, "come on man it's ok." Mike despite himself grabbed onto Simon, crying his eyes out. Gradually he allowed Simon to lead him back to his feet.
Tears still streaming Mike looked deeply into Simon's eyes, the cold ice was melting. "Just" he said with quivering lips, "just tell El I'm sorry." "Mike," Simon breathed. "And please" Mike implored him, "please, treat her right, she deserves nothing less." Simon looked onwards not knowing what to say. "I," Mike said taking a step away, "I hope you're very happy together."
He took a staggered step to face the other direction, looking like the most broken man in the world.
"Mike!" Simon yelled the only words he could think, of, "El, she loves, you!"
The words made Mike stop and turn. "I, know," he said, a fresh wave of sadness beginning, "I just wasn't worthy of her love."
"That's not what I meant," Simon said with desperation. With a sudden force of conviction, he marched himself so that he was standing in front of Mike blocking his path.
"Let me go Simon" Mike said, he looked like a bowel of quivering jelly, "don't make this any harder." "I'm not here to make this harder" Simon said holding him in place, "I'm here to tell you the truth, El, loves you!" He said with as much force as he could.
It seemed to calm him down a little. "Maybe she did once," Mike said breathing heavily. "No Mike," Simon said firmly. Then he said calmly, "please let me explain?" Mike nodded numbly and allowed Simon to steer him back to the bench.
Simon recounted his story. How El had come to his coaching and how they had formed a deep friendship. He admitted his feelings for her, which led to that fateful day when he had kissed her.
Seeing Mike start to break again, Simon grabbed him by the shoulders and continued. Telling Mike how she had come back to Tennis and ended with the conversation he had with her yesterday.
"I don't know why she told me here name" Simon admitted, "I really don't, but she said something about her life being in two. That to me she was Jane and to you she was El." Simon paused. "And that she longed to bring these two parts of her life together." "That" Simon finished, "is why she told me I think."
At this Mike's sadness started to ebb. "She said all that?" He ventured bravely. "Yes" Simon said relieved that he was starting to look a little brighter.
Simon found himself shaking his head. "What?" Mike enquired. "You" Simon sighed, "you're so lucky Mike, El." He hesitated but seeing that Mike's gaze had turned from sad to inquisitive he went on. "Is a wonderful person and what I wouldn't give to." He quickly brought himself back to his senses. "But her heart belongs to someone else, to you."
"Really?" Mike asked. Simon suddenly realised the insanity of this whole situation. This person he'd never met before, had a short time ago laid into him with intense anger, and was now asking him questions deep from the heart. Simon nodded, "no doubt mate, no doubt."
Mike was silent for a moment, "thank you," he said eventually. "Oh, it's not a problem" Simon said but Mike cut him off. "Thank you for being such a good friend to El." Simon found himself smiling, "well she's been a good friend to me." The two of them sat silently looking at the pond, both thinking of the same person. And what she meant to each of them.
