A/N: This story takes place in the same timeline as all my other fics, before 'If This Is The End'.
NSFW content ahead.
"But Shalei…we can never be together. I have my duty, and you have your people."
In his apartment on the Citadel, John Shepard was sitting beside Tali on the couch, watching Fleet and Flotilla on the holo-screen before him. Inwardly, he cringed. So far, the vid was eye-rollingly cheesy and melodramatic, abound with countless cliches.
Indeed, about fifteen minutes into the vid, Shalei had literally bumped into Bellicus on her pilgrimage. And barely two months later, both leads were madly in love. He rolled his eyes. Normally, he would have dismissed this vid as just another drama fest, designed to make credits off of teenage girls.
But then there were the numerous things it got wrong about turian and quarian culture. He huffed through his nose. Yes, admittedly, such errors were understandable given that a human wrote this vid's screenplay.
But couldn't they have done just a little bit of research?
Was it really so hard?
Why does she even like this? Honestly, he had no idea. But nonetheless, he would not criticize nor show how much he disliked this vid in front of her. If she genuinely enjoyed it, if she genuinely considered it to be one of her favorites, then he would sit through every second of it.
Momentarily, he smiled. Indeed, it made her happy, and at least now he knew from where she might have entertained the idea of having an alien lover.
"So…" he said. "Do you watch this often? Before your pilgrimage, did you ever wonder what it would be like to have an alien lover?"
"Keelah, am I that transparent?" she asked. She let out a weak laugh. "Well, to answer your question. Yes. Years before my pilgrimage, my friends and I used to watch this vid all the time, and…well…" Momentarily, she looked at the ground. "Yes, at times, I often did fantasize about bonding with a bold, dashing turian like Bellicus, with an exotic, handsome captain who would whisk me away on the adventure of a lifetime."
"At the time, it was such an exciting prospect, such a wonderful escape from the dull reality of life on the fleet," she said. She let out another weak laugh. "And Keelah, every sleepover, my friends and I always used to memorize the lyrics to its songs."
He pursed his lips, then gulped. Back on the SR-1, had Tali ever thought about bonding with Garrus? For a moment, he looked at the holo-screen, and the two leads were facing each other, holding hands.
"Oh, we can activate sing-along mode!" Tali said. She grabbed his hand, and his eyes went wide. Sing-along mode? Oh, no, no, no. He couldn't sing or dance to save his life.
"Tali, please, I…"
"Oh, come on, John," she said, squeezing his hand, "pleeeease."
His heart melted. Oh, who was he to deny her? "Alright, alright."
He and Tali stood up front the couch and faced each other, holding hands. Then Tali began to sing.
Let the moon's shining light hide two lovers with its rays…
Though I know that dawn will set us on course for separate ways…
I will hold this night in memory for all my living days…
Now unmasked, I feel your skin on miiiiiine.
A brief silence ensued. During it, he just stared into her eyes. "Tali, wow, that was…" Briefly, he broke eye contact. He let out a weak laugh, and a warm, soothing sensation bloomed in his chest. She had poured her heart out to him, and it was the sweetest, most adorable thing he had ever heard. "That. Was. Beautiful."
Momentarily, she looked at the ground, and he could tell that she was likely blushing behind her mask. "Do…do you really mean that?"
He stepped forward, then held her close with one hand on the small of her back. With his free hand, he gently lifted her chin, then stared deeply into her eyes. "I mean it, saera." He smiled. "Your voice is beautiful, and I can't describe how happy you'd make me if you sang to me like that every day." He laughed. " I had no idea you were so into this."
"Keelah, what can I say?" she said, melting into his embrace. She laughed. "This vid FTL jumped me into puberty. And besides, who doesn't love a good cross-species romance?"
Briefly, he glanced at the holo-screen.
"I want you to see behind this mask. I want you to see who I truly am."
He pursed his lips, then exhaled. Would she have preferred it if he was turian, if he was more like Bellicus? Given the dossier of Tali he had found on the Shadow Broker's ship, there's no way that could be true…
Right?
He gulped. Whatever the case, he would not hold the answer to that question against her. Yes, he had no doubt that he made her the happiest quarian in the galaxy, that now she couldn't even imagine being with anyone else.
"Hey," she said, snapping him out of his reverie. She ran her hand down his arm, and again, he looked deeply into her eyes. "I know what you must be thinking."
"What?"
She sighed. "Keelah, you're probably wondering whether I compare you to Bellicus all the time, or whether Garrus had any chance of bonding with me." With both hands, she held his head, then gave him a quarian kiss. "And the answer to both of those questions, John, is an absolute no."
He tilted his head. "No?"
"That's right," she said. "No." Briefly, she looked at the ground and exhaled. "I've never told this to anyone before. But after I went on my pilgrimage, those fantasies I had…they were completely shattered when I learned what turians were actually like." She let out a weak laugh. "Ancestors, I always imagined them acting more quarian – but none of them are like my people, John. None of them. Turians like Bellicus don't exist."
"And Garrus? Have you ever…"
Tali burst out laughing. "Oh, John, please. Don't be silly. The only thing we have in common are dextro amino acids. And after he insulted my people in that elevator, he showed me he was just like all the others – a racist bosh'tet that sees my people only as vagrants, as vermin, as trash to be cast aside."
Looking at the ground, she took a deep breath. "Eventually, he apologized and admitted he was wrong. And yes, I forgave him. But regardless, he will never be anything more to me than a comrade in arms." She sighed. "The fantasy was fun while it lasted though. Just after Garrus completely shattered it, I was sure I'd just return to the fleet one day and end up bonding with another quarian." She stared deeply into his eyes. "But at the time, I had no idea what I already had. I had no idea that the ancestors had already given me somebody better than Bellicus, somebody who would change my life forever in ways I never could have imagined." Again, she held his head with both hands, then gave him a quarian kiss. "They had given me you."
A warm, euphoric sensation bloomed in his chest, then rushed through his insides. Was he better than any fantasy she imagined? "Tali, I…"
"There is nothing I would change about you, John," she said. "You couldn't be any more perfect." She let out a weak laugh. "So in a way, you ruined this vid for me in the best way possible. Because what we have now…nothing can compare to it. Nothing."
His eyes watered. His heart fluttered. He let out a joyful sob. Yes, undoubtedly, he was the luckiest man in the galaxy.
"Bellicus, please. Before you go…stay with me, at least until the morning."
Briefly, he and Tali glanced at the holo-screen, and the two leads were heading to a 'clean room' to make love. Again, he stared into her eyes.
"And besides…" she said, running one hand down his arm. "Humans are far more attractive and make far better lovers than turians anyway."
He raised his eyebrows, then grinned. She had spoken those words with such a playful, but sultry tone. "Oh, really now."
"Uh-huh," she said. "Not only are humans just alien enough, but they also smell better and have far more compatible equipment between their legs." She laughed. "Keelah, trust me. You do not want to know how turians join with each other. And even if they joined the same way as humans and quarians, I could never go anywhere near one outside my suit."
He hadn't considered that. Yes, because turians and quarians had the same chirality for their amino acids, they could infect each other with compatible bacteria, viruses, and fungi. No precautions could stop turian microbes from wreaking havoc on the quarian immune system.
Again, Tali ran one hand down his arm. Meanwhile, he caressed the small of her back, trailing his fingers up her spine.
"When we join," she continued, "I get to feel your heartbeat and your warm, soft skin without anything in the way. And above all, I get to do this…" With one hand, she reached for the clasps around her mask, then took it off. His eyes met hers, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep, slow kiss.
Eagerly, he leaned into it and held her close with one hand between her shoulder blades, and the other on the small of her back. Closing his eyes, he hummed into her mouth, his tongue brushing and swirling against hers.
With any other quarian, such intimacy would be impossible outside a clean room. But after months of going through Mordin and Chakwas' immunotherapy treatments, after months of suffering through the long, slow adaption process to his body fluids and microbes, and after months of allowing Geth programs in her suit to strengthen her immune system even further, his beloved could now withstand as long as one hour of maskless exposure to a reasonably clean environment without any debilitating consequences. Early on during this shore leave, she had also tinkered with his apartment's filtration system to constantly pour in decontaminants.
So she should be fine.
Meanwhile, his pulse climbed. Cupping her breast with one hand, he ran the other down to her buttocks, and he huffed through his nose. Every second, his breathing grew faster. And every second, blood rushed to his manhood, making it harder and harder. Soon, they grew breathless, and he broke the kiss, then rested his forehead against hers.
"What do you say we continue this in the bedroom," he said. "Huh, Miss vas Normandy?"
She bit her lip. "I'd love nothing more. But tonight I want to do things a little differently."
He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. "A little differently?"
"Yes," she said. "Keelah, you've always been such a selfless, caring lover. Every time we've joined, you've always cared more about my pleasure than your own. But tonight…" She grinned, then let out another weak laugh. She moved her head to whisper something in his ear. "Tonight, I'm going to return the favor. Tonight, I'm going to show you just how important you are to me."
His eyes went wide. His jaw dropped. Before he could even say anything, she grabbed his hand, then began leading him toward the bedroom. In the corridor leading into it, they stepped into the decontamination chamber she'd installed early on during this shore leave. And when it sprung to life, she wrapped her arms around his neck, then mashed her lips against his, making out with him hungrily and passionately.
Eagerly, he wrapped his arms around her and ran his hands along her curves, unlatching the belts, clothes, and buckles around her suit. She dropped her mask, and as soon as the decontamination cycle ended, she jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist.
He carried her into the bedroom. By the bed, she unlatched her legs from his waist, breaking the kiss. Gently, she pushed him back onto the mattress.
"I'm going to get this suit off in the bathroom," she said. "In the meantime, though, take off your clothes. When I come out, I expect to see you naked."
His eyes went wide. Oh, how could he possibly deny her? He grinned. "Oh, as you command, Miss vas Normandy."
She closed the bathroom door behind her and began humming a tune of her favorite song. As he took off his socks and boots, and then his shirt and trousers, he couldn't help but marvel at how much she had changed when it came to sex. Now, she was so bossy, so confident, so far away from the shy quarian she'd been when they had made love for the first time.
And he absolutely loved it.
Soon, he was naked, sitting on the edge of the bed facing the bathroom door. His heart hammered as he waited for Tali to step outside. And eventually, the door opened, revealing his beloved standing before him, completely suitless.
As always, the sight of her naked robbed the breath from his lungs, leaving him absolutely awestruck by her exotic, alien beauty. Soon, his gaze met hers. She bit her lip. And he could hardly breathe. Already, he was sweating, and his lizard brain kept screaming for him to ravish her right there and then.
He was about to stand up and make the first move. But then Tali approached him. Staring into his eyes, she caressed his cheek with one hand, then leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a deep, passionate kiss. Without breaking it, she gently pushed him onto the bed, then straddled his waist and began planting kisses all over his neck, his cheeks, and his lips, singing her heelrou. She arched her back low until her chest was nearly flush with his. And with both hands, he held her thin waist. Her soft, delicate skin felt heavenly against his. And as she smothered him with affection, as waves of euphoria raced through his every nerve, he ran one hand up her back, and the other down onto her buttocks.
Closing his eyes, he moaned. His every muscle relaxed, and his mind cleared. All his stresses melted away, and he was in heaven.
Oh, yes, if only this could never end.
Soon, he sat up and buried his face into her breasts, lavishing them with licks and kisses. Whimpering and moaning, she cradled the back of his head and pressed her breasts into his face. But soon, he moved his kisses onto her clavicle, then onto her slender, supple neck.
Every second, he drank in a feast of euphoric sensations, savoring the feel of her soft, delicate skin, the sound of her every moan and whimper, and the warm, wetness between her legs dripping onto his pelvis.
Soon, he moved his kisses onto her lower jaw, onto her cheek, and then her lips. She grabbed his head, then leaned into it and moaned. And during it, he slipped his tongue into her mouth. It played and brushed against hers, and gradually, her heelrou grew louder. More and more, she huffed through her nose, humming into his mouth.
And soon, she growled.
Oh, fuck, that's hot.
Now, his heart was hammering in his chest. His manhood was painfully hard, racked with pressure in his groin begging to be released.
Soon, she broke the kiss, then rested her forehead against his, gasping. His nose touched hers. And for a moment, she stared into his eyes with such lust, with such passion. Once more, she gave him a few kisses on the lips, their lips smacking. she gave him a few kisses on the lips, moaning.
And then she dismounted him.
"Tali?" he managed to say, panting. "Tali, what are you–"
She got her knees by the side of the bed, right between his legs. "Sssh, that's enough foreplay. Now, just lie back and enjoy what I'm about to do."
With one hand, she grabbed his manhood, then gave it a slow lick from base to tip, swirling her long, pointed tongue around every inch as though it were a piece of candy. The nerves of his manhood fired. Waves of euphoria raced through his limbs, and he gripped the sheets and threw his head back, groaning in ecstasy. "Oh…Fuck! Don't stop. Don't stop."
Gasping, he looked down at her. Still gripping his manhood, she lavished his balls with licks and kisses, huffing through her nose and singing her heelrou. Soon, she looked up at him, staring into his eyes. Momentarily, she smiled. And then she took half his manhood into her mouth, her cheeks concave as she sucked on it hard, lapping her tongue. He gasped. His heart pounded, and he could hardly breathe.
Next, she gripped the tops of his thighs, then wrapped her tongue around the lower half of his manhood. She let out a pleased hum, and gradually, she shoved more and more of his manhood down her throat. Again, he threw his head back and panted. When he looked back at her, she began to bob her head back and forth. The whole time, she never broke eye contact.
For a while, she had him enraptured. The wet heat and soft textures around his manhood sent his nerves into overdrive, flooding him with endorphins. But every second, the pressure in his loins rose, growing more and more unbearable.
No, he couldn't cum now. "Tali…Tali, I'm close."
As soon as he said that, she took his manhood out of her mouth. Once more, she stood up and grabbed the back of his neck before pulling him in for another deep kiss on the lips. She hummed into his mouth, and a moment later, she broke the kiss.
"Now for the main event," she whispered into his ear.
She crawled onto the bed. On her hands and knees, she grabbed one of the pillows, then placed it beneath her head. Arching her back, she rested one side of her head on the pillow and stuck her buttocks out as much as possible, spreading out her knees and curling her toes.
She bit her lip, giving him strong eye contact. "Take me, John."
His pulse spiked. Normally, she did not enjoy this position and always preferred ones in which she was facing him. Oh, yes. Later, he would definitely repay her for this.
He positioned himself behind her, and drank in the view of her sopping wet sex, of her round, plump hips and buttocks tapering to her lean, thin waist. Next, he held her hip with one hand, and his manhood with the other, then slid it into her sex, slowly.
Its inner walls squeezed around its length, and the surrounding wet heat lavished its every nerve with sparks of euphoria. She gasped, then whimpered. Biting her lip, she pressed her head deeper into the pillow.
Soon, her inner walls completely enveloped his manhood. Closing his eyes, he moaned. So warm. So tight. Staring into her eyes, he grabbed her hips, then started off with long, slow thrusts. Each one, she thrust her hips back to meet his, and he relished the sight of her buttocks rippling with every impact.
As soon as he found a comfortable rhythm, he thrust into her a bit faster, and leaned forward, running his left hand up her back before gripping her left shoulder. After a few more thrusts, he planted his right hand by the side of her head, then started kissing her shoulders and the back of her neck. Her moans and whimpers grew faster and louder. Misty-eyed, she looked at him, as though enraptured. And then he moved his kisses onto her lips.
Passionately, he made out with her. His lips smacked, along with hers, and he was practically sucking on her tongue. Gently, he wrapped his left arm around her neck and gripped her chin, still kissing her, his chest flush against her back. Slowly, he leaned backward and ran his free hand up her lean, toned stomach.
Soon, they were both breathless and sweating. Briefly, he broke the kiss, and she gave him intense eye contact.
"Faster, John…" she said, panting, "Faster. Don't hold back."
Eagerly, he obliged. He let go of all restraint, and every thrust, his hips cannoned into hers with audible clops. With his free hand, he cupped her breast, then ran it down her stomach once more. Meanwhile, he planted kisses all over her neck, and Tali's moans and whimpers grew faster and faster, louder and louder, until finally…
She leaned back into him and let out a loud wail.
Oh, what a beautiful sound.
Singing her heelrou, she went limp in his arms. Then again, he pressed his lips to hers in a deep kiss and slipped his tongue into her mouth. Closing his eyes, he huffed through his nose and hummed with delight, savoring and feasting on every euphoric sensation lavishing his nerves.
Every second, his heart pounded faster and faster. Every second, his breathing quickened. And every second, the pressure in his loins rose…and rose…and rose…
Until finally it exploded.
Until finally, he climaxed in a mind-melting orgasm.
Closing his eyes, he broke the kiss and threw his head back, groaning in ecstasy, his manhood spasming, spurting his seed into her womb. And for a moment, he was in paradise, somewhere in which all his stresses and worries melted away into oblivion.
But then it was all over.
In the afterglow of his orgasm, his every muscle felt drained. Panting and sweating, he and Tali fell onto their sides, and he spooned her, with his manhood still hilted in her sex. She nuzzled into him, and for a while, he only listened to the sound of his lover's heelrou.
Soon, she turned and faced him. For what felt like hours, he stared into her eyes. "That was…That was incredible."
She laughed. With one hand, she stroked his cheek, then kissed him on the lips. "I'm glad. With all the stress you've been under lately, I figured you'd need something like this."
He loved how thoughtful she was. He stroked her cheek. "You're always so thoughtful, so selfless. It's just one of the many things I love about you. But never forget…" He pressed his forehead against hers. "That as long as you're by my side, I don't need anyone or anything else."
Indeed, through it all, she had always been his emotional anchor, his reason to fight and endure the worst hardships imaginable no matter the odds of survival.
Misty-eyed, she let out a joyful sob. "And I don't want to be anywhere but your side." Again, she kissed him. "In this life, and the next."
He smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
He covered them both with the blanket. She cuddled up to him and lay her head on his chest, intertwining her legs with his own. With his omni-tool, he shut off the lights.
In the darkness, he took a deep breath. His muscles relaxed, and he relished the sound of his beloved's heelrou.
"John?" she asked, a few minutes later.
"Yes?"
"For the rest of this shore leave," she said, "can you…can you try not to make any big plans?"
"Why?"
"Well," she said, "the war, it…" She sighed. "We might not have much time left before…"
"Sssh, it's okay," he said. No doubt, she was about to say that the war was going badly and that the Crucible was galactic civilization's only hope. "You don't need to say it."
"Ok," she said. She took a deep breath. "I know this is selfish, that I have no right to demand this. But for the rest of this shore leave, I want you all to myself. I want as many happy memories with you as possible, in case…well, you know…"
He wrapped one arm around her waist, then held her tight. He kissed her forehead. "I'll see what I can do."
She looked up at him, meeting his gaze. And like always, her glowing eyes left him breathless and mesmerized. "That's all I ask."
She kissed him, then lay her head back on his chest. Soon, her heelrou resumed. Again, he closed his eyes, and her heelrou soothed him, slowing his heartbeat and relaxing his muscles.
"We might not have much time left."
Indeed, the end of the war was nigh. And within the next few months, either this Reaper Cycle would be the last, or it would burn down galactic civilization until only ash remained. He sighed. The future was so foggy, so subject to change. But nonetheless, one thing was certain.
For the rest of this shore leave, he would spend as much time with his saera as possible, and cherish every second he had left with her. Until the coming assault on Cronos Station, he would create as many happy memories with her as possible and then burn them into his mind.
So that if the war was lost, and that house on Rannoch truly was just a fantasy…
Then he would face the end with no regrets.
