Author's Note: Previously on AO3
Author's Note 2:This story deals with a permanent injury, the loss of a limb. Please heed the trigger warning!
Xxxxxxx
In Time of Trial
Chapter 1
"NCIS office, L.A. This is Nell Jones."
"Ma'am, this is Sharon Taylor from the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany. I need to get in touch with Agent Callen."
"Please hold, Ma'am," Nell glanced over to Eric while he was running a trace on the current phone call. She put the call on hold, giving them both more time to ascertain the validity of this call. There was always the possibility of someone trying to draw out one of their agents. Her fingers flew over the keyboard while she searched through the database, checking up on the person calling her. Sharon Taylor was indeed a nurse at the US military hospital in Germany. She glanced over to Eric who nodded towards the screen where the trace came up as the Medical Center too.
"Get Hetty," Nell told Eric who was out of his chair in a flash. The call had come into Callen's cell phone, but their lead agent was currently in an undercover operation and therefore all his calls were routed through the office.
When Eric came back with Hetty, the old spy put a hand on Nell's shoulder. "Put her back on, Miss Jones," she asked gently. Once the line was back open, Hetty spoke up. "Miss Taylor? My name is Henrietta Lange. I was informed that you were trying to get in touch with one of my agents."
"Yes, Ma'am. I need to get a hold of Agent Callen."
Hetty pursed her lips, "I'm sorry, but Agent Callen is currently unavailable. Why do you need to get in touch with him?"
"He's listed as the next of kin to one of our patients."
Nell and Eric shared a glance before they both started typing simultaneously, opening up and filtering through the medical admission list of the hospital in Germany. Hetty's eyes followed their progress while she posed her next question. "How bad?"
"I'm not at a liberty to discuss this with anyone but Agent Callen, Ma'am," the woman on the other end of the line said firmly but somewhat regretfully.
All of their gazes landed on one name on the list. There was only one name they had expected to appear there. With all of their team members present and accounted for, there was only one other human being that would have Callen listed as his medical proxy.
"I'll make sure he gets in touch with you as soon as possible," Hetty said calmly.
"Please see that you do, Ma'am."
The call was terminated after they confirmed the number they had on their displays. Silence fell over the Ops center. Hetty sighed softly, muttering a soft "bugger" before drawing a slow breath and giving her next command. "Miss Jones, please call Mr. Hanna and pull him and Mr. Callen out." They only had contact with Sam who was in an overwatch position while Callen had gone in without any means of direct contact.
"What do I tell him?" Nell asked quietly while she pulled up Sam's number.
"That we need Mr. Callen back at OSP immediately," Hetty gave back just as quietly.
Xxxxxxx
Callen blazed into the Ops center, fury in his expression. "What the hell is going on, Hetty? We've been this close to busting these guys and you pull me out now? And without explanation?!" Sam hadn't given him any reason when he had picked him up, had told him he had no more information as to why their mission had been aborted, only that it had been Hetty's orders.
Hetty held up her hand in a command for silence. The gesture was enough to derail Callen's rant - the gesture coupled with her expression. "A call came in for you two hours ago from the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany."
Callen frowned, not understanding what she was saying for several long moments. When his brain put the pieces together, going with the most likely option, he went still, "Luc?"
His old mentor nodded gravely. "Miss Jones and Mr. Beale checked the admission sheet, and his name has been added several hours ago. He is listed as critical. You are his medical proxy. You will need to call them back and find out what has to be done. I have a Gulfstream standing by to take you to Germany as soon as you're finished with the call."
Her words washed over him, registering but not quite settling in. Only when Hetty reached for him, the physical contact shocked him out of the daze that had settled. He slowly took the phone that Hetty offered to him, watching the device as if it would bite. Distantly, he noticed that Hetty cleared the room for him, the doors sliding shut behind the techs and support staff. His old mentor was the last one to leave the room.
His heart beating wildly, Callen dialed the number on display, waiting for the call to connect.
Xxxxxxx
His head was buzzing while his gaze was lost in the distance. Earlier today, his only worry had been to somehow get their targets to make a crucial mistake or slip up and give him vital information to be able to close the case. Now, he was sitting in a Hetty-organized Gulfstream heading east to where his partner was currently fighting for his life in ICU. He didn't know what had happened, but he was sure that Hetty had the wonder twins working on finding out. From talking to the doctor, he only knew there had been an explosion.
Callen shuddered as he replayed some of the information the doctor had given him. Luc was in a critical state. He had been MedEvaced into Germany after first being operated on in one of the combat support hospitals close to where he had been stationed.
He had suffered several major blast injuries. His left side had taken the brunt of the explosion he must have been close to. His left lung had collapsed due to the shock wave caused by the explosion. He had suffered a head wound either from the shock wave of the blast itself or from the impact after being thrown by the explosion. On top of that, the doctors were fighting to save his left leg. He wasn't sure if it had been injured by the blast or shrapnel or by hitting something on the way down - not that it mattered. For now, they had managed to save the limb, but the doctor had been frank: they didn't know if they could save it. Hell, they didn't even know if they could save him.
Callen wiped a hand down his face, closing his eyes and allowing himself to lean into the hand that landed on his shoulder in silent support. He was glad for Sam's presence on the flight. Sam had been briefed by Hetty and when Callen had come out of Ops, his partner had simply attached himself to his side and followed him to the airstrip and into the Gulfstream. Callen didn't think he'd ever been more grateful for his partner's presence.
Xxxxxxx
Sam watched his best friend during the flight. He didn't try to engage him in conversation or banter. G looked completely shell shocked. His partner had a quick and agile mind, sometimes making leaps and bounds where the rest of the team struggled to catch up with his logic and his decisions regarding their cases, but right now Callen looked to be floundering and completely out of his depth. Sam knew he needed space to try and wrap his head around what was happening.
Sam knew the basics from Hetty - Luc had been injured and was in a critical state - but not the particulars - what kind of injuries he had suffered and how his chances stood. He knew that G would have more information after talking to the hospital staff, but his friend hadn't shared yet, was still too wrapped up in his own mind.
Sam had watched over his best friend for years and he had watched as the emotionally closed off man fell for the Navy SEAL that had been part of a rescue mission a little over three years ago. The two men somehow fit together and even though they rarely saw each other with Luc being stationed overseas for long periods of time, their relationship had changed a lot of things for G Callen. He had mellowed and strengthened at the same time.
Sam remembered his thoughts during the rescue mission where they had gotten G out of captivity in the Middle East, remembered how he had marveled at the way his partner reacted to the SEAL combat medic and how G had allowed Luc to treat his wounds when his usual MO was to deny their presence and get out of reach of medical personnel.
In some ways, it shouldn't have come as a surprise when he had found out about the two men. Sam had found out rather late as Callen had kept things under wraps. Once Sam had known though, he had cued in rather quickly about the depths of his partner's interest. He had seen the light in G's eyes, the way his features would soften ever so slightly when he talked to or about Luc.
He smiled softly to himself when he remembered G bringing Luc to the Hanna household for the first time, somewhat skittish and nervous, reminiscent of Sam's son bringing his first date home and hoping for the approval of his parents. With a pang of sadness, he remembered Michelle's reaction, the gentle approval that had relaxed his partner. He also remembered his wife's mischievous and at the same time proud grin after G and Luc had left for the night.
Sam sighed, hoping desperately that his partner wouldn't suffer the same loss Sam had been forced to suffer a mere year ago.
Xxxxxxx
When they got to the Medical Center, they were quickly directed to the ICU. A doctor was waiting for them to give Callen an update. Callen gave his partner a nod of thanks when Sam unobtrusively slipped away to give him the privacy of talking to the doctor while still remaining within his line of sight.
His partner had been a source of strength during the entire flight. Callen had spent many of those hours deep inside of his head, trying to catch up with what was happening. Half-way through the flight, he had brought Sam up to speed with what he had learned during the phone call, needing to unburden his mind and share the knowledge of what was happening.
The news he received from the doctor now were more or less the same of what he had been told on the phone before. They had put Luc into a medically induced coma and would keep him that way for a while longer to give his body time to heal. The first head scans had shown a small bleeding of the brain but according to the renewed scans they had done shortly before Callen arrived, the bleeding was already receding by itself. They were hopeful that his body would take care of that without further surgical intervention.
He was on a ventilator to help his lung recover. His left lung showed all indications of a blast lung, with contusions, hemorrhage and oedema. The pneumothorax had been taken care of in the combat support hospital, but the drainage would remain in place for a while longer. The doctor wasn't sure how long Luc would remain on the ventilator. Obviously, something like that was decided on a case-to-case base. For now, he only said that Luc's oxygen stats were stable.
There were smaller shrapnel wounds on his arm and his eardrum had ruptured. All of that had been treated and while adding to the stress his body was under, those were comparatively minor injuries. The major remaining elephant in the room was the injury his leg had sustained. He had suffered a complicated open fracture of both tibia and fibula. Shrapnel had been impaled and done massive damage to the tissue. The doctors had done their best during surgery but couldn't be sure if the blood circulation would remain intact. On top of that, there was the risk of infection. He was on a high dose of antibiotics, but a lot of things could go wrong at this stage and result in the loss of his lower leg.
Callen was an expert at reading body language and finding meaning beneath the words he was told, and he understood from what the doctor said and from how he behaved that the chances of an amputation were high.
Sam returned to his side when the doctor guided him over to the ICU cubicle that held his lover. His first glimpse of Luc through the glass window was sobering. Despite knowing in theory what to expect, the sight of his usually active partner laid up and surrounded by machines shocked him. Sam remained a steady presence beside him that Callen was grateful for.
Sam stayed outside of the room once Callen ventured inside. On the one hand he was glad for the possibility to go inside by himself, on the other hand he immediately felt the absence of his best friend's stoic presence and his strength.
He sank down into the chair beside the bed, taking in the machines keeping his lover alive, the sound of the air whooshing in and out of Luc's lungs, the steady beeping of the heart monitor, the way cables and tubes snaked around him. Tentatively reaching for Luc's right hand, Callen curled his fingers around Luc's cold ones, closing his eyes. "Hey, Luc," he whispered, emotion clogging his throat.
Xxxxxxx
Sam knew that his friend would need some alone-time with his partner. He watched them through the window for some minutes before he turned away. Going up to the nurse's station, he had a quick conversation with the head nurse, handing her one of his cards and asking her to call if his friend needed him before he was back. He knew that Callen wouldn't come to find him; his lone-wolf partner was used to doing things on his own. At the same time, he knew that the nurses were attuned to people's suffering and would probably be able to tell when his friend needed someone close. Usually no one but Hetty or Sam (or Luc) would be able to tell, but right now, Callen's defenses were crumbling and pretty much everyone with eyes could see that his partner was hurting.
Sam didn't plan on being away for long, as he wasn't sure how his friend would fare on his own. It wasn't the first time someone of their team and extended family had been wounded, but it was the first time that Callen had that deep of an emotional and personal connection to the injured who was in as bad as state as Luc currently was. Plus… while the team classified as family to G and his partner would fight tooth and nail for any and all of them, Sam was well aware that Luc was holding a place in G's heart the other man hadn't known existed until he had allowed himself to fall for the younger SEAL.
Leaving the ICU and heading outside, he found a quiet corner where he sat down, allowing his own emotions and feelings to crowd him for a few minutes: the memory of losing his wife, of having watched her suffer on the monitor in Ops, the feelings of pain and loneliness afterwards. Through it all, G had done whatever he could to help him through, even though Sam had tried to push him away. In the end, Callen had stubbornly dug his heels in and stood by him until Sam had finally relented, allowing his best friend to hold him up. Sam knew that returning the favor now would be infinitely harder as Callen was the polar opposite of him: he had fought most of his life alone, had hardened himself to endure solitude. Sam knew it was Callen's way of surviving, of trying to meddle his way through life, but Sam also knew that applying that tactic now had the power to break his friend.
Heaving a sigh, Sam took out his phone. Even though it was in the middle of the night in L.A., it was time to call OSP. Hetty had made it absolutely clear to him that she expected to be kept in the loop and that he was to call once they had arrived and had any news. Maybe he could also find out from them what had happened that put Luc in hospital.
Xxxxxxx
Doctors and nurses had been coming and going, checking up on Luc, noting things down on his chart. No one had tried to engage him in conversation, and he was glad for that. He still felt completely blindsided by the situation he found himself in.
Of course, it had always been a possibility. Both of them were working in high-risk professions and they had talked about a few things, had even had some "in case of"-conversations, but still that had been vague theory instead of harsh reality.
He didn't look up when the door opened but felt himself relaxing somewhat when Sam's presence filled the room. His partner came around to him and held out a steaming hot cup of coffee. "Sorry, I couldn't find a place that did decent tea without bags. I know you hate tasting the paper," he murmured.
A small smile ghosted over his features at that subtle hint of normalcy. Hetty still hadn't managed to sell Sam on tea, but his partner knew that most of the time Callen actually preferred a good cup of tea over a coffee. And ever since Hetty had mentioned tasting the paper of the tea bags, Callen couldn't drink a cup without tasting it too. He remembered his mentor had already turned her nose up at tea bags when he had been living with her as a teenager, but since there hadn't been any tea bags at home, he had never really listened to her back then… plus, being a teenager, he probably would have drunk it anyway just to spite her.
Slowly sipping from the cup, he eventually glanced up at Sam, finding his partner watching him with worried eyes, "how did this happen?" he asked softly, reasonably sure that the wonder twins would have looked into it already and equally convinced that Sam had just called home to touch base.
Sam sighed, "his team was ambushed. As far as Hetty can determine at this point it was a routine patrol that went wrong. She talked to the mission commander. They lost contact with the team about halfway through the patrol. Satellite telemetry showed a quick influx of enemy combatants into the area that they couldn't make the team aware off. They sent in reinforcements, but the team was under heavy fire before backup arrived. An IED took out three of Luc's team. He was close enough to get caught in the blast but far enough away not to get instantly killed by it."
Callen nodded slowly, digesting the information, his mind working over what Sam had told him, desperately trying to latch onto something they could work with. There was nothing for them to do though. This was just something that happened in a war. It happened all the time; nothing to do with anyone selling information to the enemy or whatever else that would give them reason and incentive to investigate.
"G?" Sam asked softly and Callen glanced up from where his eyes rested on Luc. "I know you're his emergency contact, but… do we need to inform anyone else? Family?"
Callen sighed and glanced back down with a shake of his head, "no. His parents both died several years ago. His brother cut him out of his life," he said softly. He was glad when Sam didn't ask any further questions, knew it wasn't really his story to tell. Luc may not be as guarded about his personal life as Callen was, but Callen wouldn't go around giving that story away.
They both fell quiet, the only sounds in the room coming from the machines keeping Luc alive.
Xxxxxxx
He had noticed the increasingly concerned expressions of the medical personnel whenever they checked on Luc's leg, testing circulation and watching for signs of infection.
Basically, he had a feeling he knew where this was going, but he still prayed it wouldn't happen.
The night was mostly quiet, a slow onset of a fever a source of worry though. Sam stayed with him despite Callen's reassurances it would be ok if his partner got some sleep at the base accommodations. He was secretly glad Sam refused though, was glad for his partner's quiet strength and his presence.
It was in the early morning hours when things took a turn for the worse, Luc's fever spiking suddenly and dangerously. It didn't exactly come as a surprise, but again theory suddenly became reality instead of remaining an abstract concept. Before long, his fingers were trembling around a pen, signing the papers the doctors held out to him, words like "losing circulation", "sepsis" and "amputation to save his life" still whirling around his head.
He watched as his lover was whisked away to the theatre. It was Sam's hands that guided him into the waiting room area and made him sit down. It was Sam's presence that provided a measure of comfort.
"What am I supposed to do, Sam?" he asked softly, glancing at his hands hanging loosely clasped between his knees.
Sam watched him for a silent moment from the side before he drew him close. "You're going to do what you're already doing: be there for him and support him."
"This is on me, Sam, how do I cope with that?"
Sam frowned and turned more fully to him. "What do you mean 'this is on you'? It wasn't your fault he got caught in the crossfire of a fight you weren't even part of. Neither was it your fault the enemy had an IED they chose to use."
"But it was me who signed those papers, Sam. It's my signature that made him lose that leg," he whispered tonelessly.
"G," Sam murmured, suddenly aware of what his partner was trying to torture himself about. He sighed and shook his head, "it's your signature that gives him a fighting chance to survive."
Xxxxxxx
Several hours later they were back in the ICU. Callen looked worse for wear and Sam knew that his partner still harbored that misplaced guilt he had hinted at earlier. He had tried talking him out of it, but G Callen was just used to trying to balance the weight of the world on his shoulders. For the moment, his friend wasn't receptive to what he was telling him, and while Sam hadn't given up, he knew when to pick his battles with his stubborn partner. Now wasn't the time.
Callen was reeling from recent events, and he was more likely to push Sam away or shut down on him than try to understand what he was telling him.
Years ago, their team had included an operational psychologist before Nate had left to seek his own place in the fold of field operatives. While he had come back occasionally over the years to help one or the other of the team, Sam knew that his partner wouldn't turn to Nate for help. Callen had often enjoyed playing cat and mouse with Nate, but after Nate's involvement in Callen's abduction and water boarding, Sam had noticed Callen had withdrawn more or less completely from the other man and had disassembled the bridges that Nate had previously built. He had also added man-eating sharks to the moat that surrounded his castle where Nate was concerned. Nate wouldn't ever be able to rebuild what he had lost during that undercover mission. Still, Sam wondered privately if he needed to ask Hetty to start looking for someone to replace Nate.
Luc's state remained critical, but the fever had gone down already, and the doctors were quietly hopeful that they had managed to curb the sepsis before it could take hold.
Luc still had a hard fight ahead of him, but for the moment he was holding his own.
Xxxxxxx
Note: I know that the loss of a limb or any life-changing injury can be a trigger for a reader, and it is a very difficult, touchy and most certainly a deeply personal subject. Please, know that I mean absolutely no disrespect with this story. I hope I will be able to balance the aspects of the aftermath of such an injury in a dignified way with this story.
I have a tremendous respect for anyone who has faced a life-changing injury, whether they are still struggling with it, or have come out on the other side.
My sister faced a life-changing injury several years ago and it has been hard to watch her battle with aspects of daily life most of us take for granted. Going through that, I often realize that she's one of the strongest persons I know and I'm immensely proud of her. I love her dearly and respect her for the grace and determination she displays time and time again, working hard and tirelessly to find her way around obstacles placed in her path when I'm sure that many would have faltered and possibly given up.
That being said… to anyone going through a hard time in your life - be it from injury, loss, or whatever hardship the universe has in store for us - I hope you find the courage in yourself to march on and grow from it. You will probably be facing obstacles but there is a resilience in mankind that is nothing short of astonishing. I hope you will find the strength to keep going.
