Disclaimer: I do not own "Carmen Sandiego".

Carmen, Ivy, Zach, and Shadowsan were quiet. Carmen looked out the window, a wistful expression on her face.

"Something wrong, Carm?" Zack asked, glancing up at the rearview mirror.

"Yeah," she said, looking over at Zack. "I just had some old memories shaken loose."

Ivy turned to look back at Carmen. "Good memories or bad memories?"

"A little bit of both. When Player mentioned that pyrite was made of iron and sulfur, it reminded me of this one guy in my class at VILE Island who was named 'Sulfur'." Shadowsan didn't say anything; he just closed his eyes and gave a sighing groan.

"Ooh, have not heard about this guy before," Player said, phone set to speakerphone so that everyone in the car could hear him. "What was he like?"

"In a word, unusual. In our group, Graham was the older-brother figure, Tigress was the mean girl, and Mime Bomb was the quiet kid. Sulfur…was the weird kid. He wasn't a bad guy, he was just…out there. First, there was his looks: average build with some muscle, brown hair he kept trimmed short, and bright purple eyes."

"Wait, purple?"

"Yeah, still not sure if that was natural or if he wore tinted contacts. His entire face was covered in a life-sized tattoo of a skull, which he insisted was anatomically correct. He also insisted he couldn't remember WHY he had gotten it done in the first place. Add in the canary-yellow hoodie he usually wore, and he was hard to miss.

He was a nice guy; courteous, outgoing, he approached everything with enthusiasm. Thing is, I think he was usually off in some other world only he could see and had trouble reaching/staying in our world. That led to various problems in our classes…"

[break]

Stilt-boot training was going smoothly enough, until…

"Doctor Bellum, my boots aren't working!" Sulfur was tapping on the control pad for his boots, to no avail.

"Please be careful," Dr Bellum said, walking towards him. "You might overload the system-" Which is exactly what happened: with a panicked shout, Sulfur was lifted up and up, straight into - and through - an air vent in the ceiling. The rest of the class just stared.

"I'm okay!" he shouted from above. The stilt-boots retracted upward, only to fall off and down to the floor. "Oops."

"You need any help?" Graham called up. "No, I'm pretty sure I can find my way out. Hey, what's that?" A series of thumps could be heard from overhead, disappearing into the wall.

Later/Lunchtime/Cafeteria

The gang was seated at a table eating when Sulfur walked up and sat down beside them.

"Hey Sulfur, glad to see you made it out of the vents," Carmen said. Sulfur, who was taking a drink of water, spat out into his cup.

Coughing and sputtering, he said, "I'm not sure what you're talking about, Black. Venting? That's something that an impostor would do, and I am definitely not an impostor." Everyone just looked at him with varying degrees of skepticism.

"I'm just gonna say it right now, Yellow is being very sus," Graham said.

"Shut up, Green! I'm not sus, you're sus!"

"Vote?"

"Vote." One by one, they voted. Tigress abstained from voting, Sulfur voted for Green (Graham), and everyone else voted for Yellow.

El Topo and Le Chevre picked Sulfur up by his arms, hauled him to the main doors, and shoved him out into the hallway. Sulfur tumbled, rolled over, and came to rest on his back, arms and legs in the air. He held this pose for a few seconds, before reaching into the front pocket of his hoodie. He pulled out a tennis ball, which he tossed over to the group. Le Chevre picked the ball up and read what was written on it.

"Yellow was an impostor." Any kind of celebration was cut off by Dr. Bellum walking up to Sulfur.

"What is going on here? Why are you on the floor?"

"Well, you see, Dr. Bellum," Sulfur said, getting up. As he did so, he reached for something behind his back, under his hoodie. "It's really quite simple. I'm sure you'll find it amusing, and very IMPROVISED SMOKE BOMB!" With that shout, Sulfur jammed a burlap sack (one that had the word "smoke" written on it) over Dr. Bellum's head, before turning and running away.

[break]

Origami folding was one of Carmen's favorite classes. There was something almost magical about it; you take a flat sheet of paper, fold it a few times, and now it is a miniature-whatever. There was so much potential in these unassuming pieces of paper. The usual quiet of the class was broken by a voice from the back of the room.

"Ah, Giraffe, this is so dangerous! You know our families hate each other."

"I don't care about them, Platypus! Now kiss me. Kiss me, you fool!"

"Mwah, mwah, mwah." Carmen, and the rest of the class turned to see what was happening. Seated at the back of the room, Sulfur was playing with an origami giraffe and platypus, having them "kiss". Looking up, he saw the rest of the class staring at him.

Carmen glanced around, taking in the varying expressions of her classmates. Tigress had a look of "I have no idea what I am looking at right now". El Topo had a look of "I am amused by this, but I am trying to not show it". Carmen could feel her own look of "I am trying very hard to not laugh hysterically right now". A quick peek revealed that Shadowsan was giving a Type-4 Frown of Disapproval. Carmen looked back to Sulfur just in time to watch him freak out.

"Why?!" he shouted, "why can't giraffes and platypuses be together? Why must the world be so cruel?" With that, he stood up and ran out the door…or rather, he ran through the door since he didn't bother to open it first.

Carmen winced at that; Shadow-san hated it when someone messed up the sliding doors. Glancing over, she confirmed her fears: Shadowsan's expression had intensified to a Type-7 Frown of Disapproval. He gave one of his signature rumbling, frustrated groans.

[break]

"Well, class," Maelstrom said, "I am pleased with the progress you have all shown-"

A series of clicks sounded, along with a frustrated, "Come On." Turning, Carmen saw Sulfur holding a lit pocket lighter in one hand and a shish-kabob stick in the other. Several bugs were impaled on the stick, and he was cooking them with the lighter. Noticing the eyes on him, he looked up and asked, "Is there a problem?"

Maelstrom glowered. "Yes. There is."

"Oh, don't worry." Sulfur extinguished the lighter, bit down on the stick, holding it with his teeth, while reaching into his hoodie pocket with his now-free hand. He pulled out several more shish-kabob sticks. "Don' worry," he said through clenched teeth, "I brough' enough shticksh fer everyone." Maelstrom continued to glower.

[break]

"Now before we begin today's combat training, there are some things I have to report," Coach Brunt said. She was standing in front of the group, clipboard in hand. "This is intended to be a professional-style combat class, which means you all need to be acting like professionals. With that in mind, I have a list of things that are not allowed in this class. No biting, no eye-gouging, no hair-pulling, no arm-twisting, no sneezing on your opponents, no pulling your opponents' pants down, no pulling your own pants down, no noogies, no wedgies, no wet-willies, no burping in your opponents' face, and no doing Jerry Lewis impressions." She looked up. "You get all that, Sulfur?"

Sulfur responded with raised arms and sputtering. "Yeah, but what did I do?"

"Are you KIDDING me?!" Tigress shouted. "You did EVERY. SINGLE. THING. On that list!"

"Last week, you did three of those things all at the same time," El Topo added.

"...Those are both valid points. I retract my objections," Sulfur replied, lowering his arms. "Is throwing up on purpose on the list things we're not allowed to do?"

Coach Brunt scribbled something down with a pencil. "It is now."

"How about purple nurples - are those not allowed?"

"Boy, don't make me hurt you."

"...Are rubber chickens in or out?"

Coach Brunt didn't say anything at first: she just snapped the clipboard in two and threw both pieces to the sides. Walking forward, cracking her knuckles, she said, "that's it - time for hurting."

[break]

"Blending in is vital for thievery," Countess Cleo lectured. "Whether it is casing a target location, carrying out a heist, or making a simple hand-off, you must NOT draw attention to yourself."

The students were dressed in varying styles, for varying situations. Tigress was in a fancy dress, ready for some high-society gala. El Topo and Le Chevre were wearing casual jeans and jackets, looking like two college students. Carmen and Graham both had on blue work coveralls (each of them carrying a toolbox), a pair of maintenance workers. Sulfur…

"Yarr!" Sulfur was dressed as a pirate, complete with a plastic sword and two eyepatches. "Arr," he said in a pirate accent, "I be a pirate, prepared to pillage and plunder! Yarr!" He paused, then turned away from the others. "Eh, yarr? Hmm. Methinks that the second eyepatch may have been a bad idea." He fumbled with the patches briefly, pulling them aside. "Arr, that be better." He turned around, then pointed his sword at Graham and said, "well I'll be a sea-monkey's uncle! If it ain't me old nemesis, No-Beard!" This got a laugh, from Le Chevre of all people, though he was quick to stifle his laughter.

Countess Cleo was less amused. "Young man, what do you think you're wearing?"

"Arr, I be dressed for the pirate convention!"

"There's no such thing as a "pirate convention"."

"Not yet there ain't!" Cleo's frown deepened.

"Go change into a proper disguise, now."

"Aye, aye, Captain," he said with a salute. Cleo glared at him.

"Um, yes ma'am," he said, dropping the pirate accent, and hurrying off to change.

"What are the chances he will actually do it right?" Le Chevre whispered to El Topo.

"Eh, about 10%, with a 45% chance it will be as bad, and another 45% that it will be even worse."

"10%? That's more than I was expecting."

After a short wait, Sulfur came out again, his new outfit falling in the "Worse" 45%: he was wearing a gorilla suit, with a tutu worn over that. He huffed and thumped his chest, before raising his hands above his head and doing a pirouette.

"What. Is. This?" Cleo asked, teeth clenched. "You look perfectly ridiculous!"

"Hey, "Gorilla Lake" could be a hit success, if theater snobs like you weren't holding it back!" (Off to the side, Graham facepalmed and muttered, "not the gorillas again.") Countess Cleo pointed to the changing room door.

"Go back. Get changed. And when you come out, I expect you to be dressed like a proper undercover thief." Sulfur left without a word. Carmen turned to Graham.

"So, "Gorilla Lake"? What's that all about?" Graham sighed.

"Basically, it's a rendition of "Swan Lake", but all the performers are wearing gorilla suits. It's a terrible idea; please do not encourage him." When Sulfur walked back out, he was wearing sneakers, jeans, a t-shirt, and glasses.

There were two problems with this ensemble, however. First, the glasses were the kind with the fake nose and mustache attached to the frame. Second, the (bright yellow) t-shirt had the words "UNDERCOVER THEFE" written on the front in large black letters. Countess Cleo didn't say anything, not exactly. She just screamed loudly and stormed out of the room.

"What's her problem?" Sulfur asked, pointing to the now-used exit.

"Well, for starters, you spelled "thief" wrong," Tigress said in a deadpan voice.

"I knew it! I knew I was forgetting an "A" in there somewhere." The rest of the class just facepalmed at their classmate's antics.

[break]

"But, just like everything else in life, it all came to an end. One night, Sulfur got called away, and never came back. When I asked Coach Brunt about it the next day, she said he had been cut from the program and sent home. She also made the open threat that if we didn't keep up in our studies, then the Faculty could and would do the same to us. I never saw him again after that."

A heavy silence hung over the foursome. Looking over, Carmen started, "Shadowsan, do you-"

He interrupted, "I know what happened that night, but little else."

[break]

Sulfur walked towards the Faculty Table, footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent room. He stopped next to a high-backed chair set in front of the table.

"Ah, Mr. Sulfur," Maelstrom said, "please, have a seat."

Sulfur looked at the chair, then looked back up at the Table. "Umm, if it's all the same to you, I would prefer to remain standing." Maelstrom's smile dropped into a frown.

"Perhaps I wasn't making myself clear. Sit. Down. Now."

"Yessir." Sulfur hurriedly sat in the chair. As he was getting settled in, a pair of metal cuffs popped out of the armrests, clamping shut and securing Sulfur's wrists to the chair. "Ah," Sulfur said, looking down, then up. "Should I be concerned about this?"

Maelstrom didn't answer; instead, he asked, "Young man, do you know why you were called here today?"

Sulfur scrunched up his face, thinking about it. "I'm guessing it's because I'm in trouble for something. Is it because I started that petition to have "Baby Got Back" be adopted as our school anthem?" Coach Brunt gave a snort of laughter.

"No."

"Is it because I organized an unauthorized mascot fight club?"

"No," answered Maelstrom.

"Oh, I know. It's because of that time I snuck into all the Women's restrooms and put all the toilet seats up."

"No, wait - that was you?!" Countess Cleo exclaimed.

"Dangit," Sulfur muttered, "I knew there was something I got away with."

"That wasn't why we called you here, though we will be adding it to the list of offenses," Dr. Bellum said, typing on her tablet.

"Given your lackluster performance in your classes, coupled with your propensity for shenanigans," Shadowsan said, "we have deemed you unfit for VILE's thievery program, and unfit for VILE itself."

"You didn't make the cut, so now you're getting cut," Coach Brunt said.

"Think of it as an academic dismissal," Dr. Bellum added, rising from her chair.

"I don't suppose I get to make an appeal?" Sulfur asked, glancing between members of the Faculty.

"Unfortunately, no," Maelstrom answered. "However, do not worry; by the time Dr. Bellum is finished, all of this will seem like a bad dream."

"Oh, it won't even seem like that," Dr. Bellum said, walking towards Sulfur, futuristic helmet in her hands. "Please relax. The memory-erasure process is quite painless."

[break]

"After that, I have only second-hand information regarding what happened next. I am told that he was put into a chemically-induced coma, one that would last for several days. He was flown back to America, abandoned in a populated area, and an anonymous phone call was made, reporting his location. I have no knowledge beyond that." Shadowsan bowed his head.

"Honestly," he added, "I'm still not sure how he got accepted into VILE's training program to begin with…"

"Hey, no system is perfect," Ivy said. "There's always a few kinks you need to work out."

"Hey, uh, sorry to ruin the moment," Zach said, "but would anyone mind if I made a quick detour?"

"Any particular reason why?" Carmen asked.

"Well, the car's down to a quarter-tank of gas, we still got another hour of driving to go AT LEAST, and there's a town coming up soon."

"Don't want the getaway car to run out of gas," Ivy said. "Again."

"A chance to get out and stretch my legs would be nice," said Carmen.

After a short pause, Shadowsan said, "I have no objections."

"Great! It's unanimous, then!" Zack said excitedly, turning onto the exit ramp, though that excitement faltered when they reached city limits.

"Welcome to Sloth's Pit. We hope you survive your stay," Ivy said, reading the large welcome sign aloud. "Well, that's creepy and ominous."

"Hey, Player," said Carmen, "what can you dig up about a town called "Sloth's Pit?"

"Well, I'm finding a lot," Player answered, "but it's mostly ghost stories and urban legends. Why do you ask?"

"Creepy, vaguely-threatening welcome sign. Should we be worried?"

"Probably not. They're likely just trying to put visitors on edge before they even get in. It's a fairly typical tourist trap tactic." As Player was saying this, Zack pulled the car up to one of the pumps of a generic-looking gas station (one that was aptly called "Generic Gas Station"). Everyone got out, and within a few minutes, the car was refueled. Zack and Ivy went inside to pay for the gas, and do a snack run.

"Shadow-san," Carmen said, "do you know anything else about Sulfur?"

"Everything I know, I have told you already," Shadowsan said with a sigh. "If someone is dismissed from VILE, I make a point to not even try to involve myself with them. They have their own lives now, and no good will come from intruding on those lives." He bowed his head. "He was like you, Black Sheep, in that he would steal a person's wallet without issue but would never steal their life." Carmen gave her former instructor a sad smile...and then the moment was totally ruined when Zack and Ivy walked out, both carrying two well-stuffed plastic bags.

"We're gassed up, got plenty of snacks, and are ready to hit the road!" The quartet piled into the car.

"Everyone remembers the plan?" Carmen asked.

"Scope out the mineral trade show, scan for possible targets, and keep Iggy safe! Got it, Carm," Zack answered, pulling out of the parking lot and back towards the highway.

"Me, I'm looking forward to the hotel," said Ivy. "I really want to try out those pajamas we got back in Rhinelander." Carmen lightly facepalmed.

"I still cannot believe the two of you actually bought hodag kigurumis."

"Is that jealousy I detect?" Ivy asked, turning in her seat.

"It isn't," Carmen replied. "Mythical monster onesies are not my style." By this point, the car was nearing the highway, leaving the gas station increasingly far behind.

Had any of these four been a touch more alert, they might have noticed a poster in one of the windows of the gas station. Specifically, one advertising a play titled "Mistakes Were Made: A Completely Ridiculous Adventure - IN SPACE!", written and directed by Sloth's Pit resident Sulfur Angel, and performed by the Sloth's Pit Community Theater.

Several miles away, a performance was already in progress. Up on stage, Platypus and Giraffe were having an illicit meeting.

"Ah, Giraffe, this is so dangerous!" said Platypus. "You know our families hate each other."

"I don't care about them, Platypus!" Giraffe replied. "Now kiss me. Kiss me, you fool!"

Platypus and Giraffe began to make out (much to the approval of the audience) but were interrupted when the vent grate fell off the wall behind them. A figure emerged from inside the vent, struggling and grunting, and finally falling awkwardly to the floor.

"Stupid small vents being all hard to climb through," the newcomer muttered, patting themselves off as they stood up. They turned around, presenting the audience with a man wearing fake glasses (the kind with a fake nose and mustache attached), and with the words "UNDERCOVER THEFE" written in large black letters on his bright yellow t-shirt. The individual noticed the pair and stared at them, while they stared back at him.

Finally, he said, "I didn't see the two of you, and you two didn't see me." Giraffe and Platypus looked at each other, then looked back to the newcomer.

"Agreed," they said together.

A/N: If anyone is interested in the story happening around this interlude, it goes like this: the crew is heading to a mineral trade show in northwestern Wisconsin/northeastern Minnesota. Admittedly, most of the minerals on display aren't worth a huge amount, but there are a few worth stealing. The crown "jewel" though is Iggy, the world's largest lump of iron pyrite. The iron pyrite itself isn't so valuable, but it can be use in a very lucrative way. If you open a container, expecting to see gold, and there's nothing there, you know you've been robbed. If you open a container, expecting to see gold, and see what looks like gold, you won't immediately think you've been robbed. And by the time you do realize you've been robbed, the real gold will be long gone.

And yes, the name "Iggy" is totally a reference. I am a little curious if anyone can figure out 1) who/what I'm referencing, and 2) why I am referencing them/that.