She was twisting herself into a new version of Bella, one that he would never have recognized, with significant assistance from her new friend.

The nightmares persisted.

Usually, it was the same one - it began as a play-by-play of James in the ballet studio. Hearing her leg snap under his foot. The flames of venom licking her veins from the inside.

Then it morphed. Edward, looking like an angel, carried her out of the building. She looked over his shoulder, expecting to see a burning studio - but instead, she saw her parents, huddled together over her limp body. They cried and clung to one another. She called out, but they couldn't hear her...

Then, the reminder: Edward. She whimpered, begged, pleaded, but his face became impassive. Carlisle, his face a perfect mask of sympathy, touched his son's shoulder, and they vanished like smoke in the breeze. The blackness grew, and swallowed everything, and she tried to scream, but she couldn't...

Eyes flying open, she'd wake, screaming with all her might.

After a cold shower to shock her back into reality, she'd putz around the kitchen and fix herself a cup of coffee and wait until it was an acceptable hour to call Leah.

Dressing quickly, she'd fuss with her hair, trying to coach it into something smooth and graceful, before catching sight of her haunted eyes in the mirror.

Trying to avoid hyperventilating, she'd close her eyes and practice the breathing tricks Leah had shown her - inhale, 1, 2, 3, exhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Inhale, 1, 2, 3...

The post-it stayed on the mirror. It's called spite and it sustains me.

Truck tires crunching over the gravel drive, windows down, Bella leaned out the window at Leah leaning lazily on the front porch, brazenly smoking a cigarette. She wore bikini bottoms and a long-sleeve henley that looked suspiciously like the one Bella had left over there the week before.

"Nice shirt," Bella called from the truck. Leah flicked her cigarette.

Bella watched her feet to make sure she didn't turn her ankle - she was no longer wearing the boot, but she was still babying her left leg - when a suspicious snapping sound caught her attention. "Hey! I said no more candids." Ducking her head, her hand twisted in her hair.

Leah snickered. "My last film roll came back. Want to see?"

Bella nodded, though nerves twisted in her gut. It was the first film Leah had sent for developing since they'd met, and Bella seemed to have become Leah's new muse - she took at least one photo of her every time they were together.

Bella sat next to Leah on the porch, dangling her legs over the edge. Leah sat up and flipped a fat folder of prints at her; she fumbled them, but managed to catch them before landing in the dirt. Leah snickered, shaking her pack of smokes. "Cig?" she mumbled, already lighting two.

Bella nodded and accepted it absentmindedly, as was now her response.

The photos first seemed to be mostly landscapes - a twisted, bleached hunk of driftwood on the coarse pebbles of the public beach; a huge red cedar surrounded by ferns; fog surrounding the green mountains. One image stood out - it was shot from a distance; a tiny gray clapboard house, ancient, poking out of a wooded roadside. Bella didn't recognize it.

Then, a picture of Bella, that first day they'd spent together on the beach. Bella's apprehension was quickly replaced, first with curiosity - was that her? - then, with awe.

Dark, wavy tresses fell down her narrow shoulder; her slim fingers held the then-unfamiliar white form of a cigarette. Her mouth was parted, looking with great attention at the stack of photos she held.

Leah's generous photography couldn't erase the circles under her eyes, though. Bella shuddered.

"How did you make me look like that?" Bella demanded. Leah scoffed. "Like what?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Like... a girl," Bella blushed. Leah snorted. "You, uh... You are a girl, B."

"Shut up, you know what I mean," Bella mumbled.

"You still look like shit in that one. Here," Leah grabbed the stack from her and started flipping through them, eyes narrow. "I think you might've been sleeping better here," her voice was quiet as she passed Bella a photo.

Bella gaped. It was the day she'd gotten her cast replaced with a boot; she was wearing a pair of cut-off shorts that probably started as Charlie's old yard jeans, cinched tight with a belt over a long-sleeve cardigan. Her hair looked like it had been professionally mussed. She was sitting on the back porch at Charlie's, and she had given the camera a rare smile, though it was clear she was milliseconds away from rolling her eyes at the photographer.

Bella stared up at Leah. "Where did you get this film, the magic supply shop?!" she demanded, incredulous.

"Yep. Supernatural Supply on route 52," Leah replied sardonically. Bella stifled a hysterical giggle. "Seriously, Leah, clearly you're doctoring this film."

Leah gave her friend a playful shove. "Shut up. You're hot, accept it."

"Coming from you ?" Bella scoffed. Leah shook her head and flicked out her cigarette.

"Come on. Let's get into some trouble."

They ended up at the beach, once again. There was a break in the cloud cover, and the sun hung low and lazy in the sky, casting yellow-pink light over everything on the usually-gray beach.

Once again, they had raided Harry's beer fridge. For the first time, though, Bella was drunk. After three beers, her head was swimming as they leaned back, giggling, on a quilt that Leah had dragged down from her closet.

Bella watched her friend stare darkly at the hazy horizon, her face smoothing into a calm mask as she took a long swig of her beer. Bella jutted her chin out.

"So... You want to go first? What happened with you and Sam?"

Leah grimaced. She glared out at the horizon on the ocean. They sat in silence while she steeled herself. "It's a weird story." She turned to Bella, her eyes a warning. Bella nodded bravely.

Leah cleared her throat. "He started acting super strangely, a few weeks before."

She took a breath and lit a cigarette. Bella noticed an almost-imperceptible shake in her friend's fingers and felt a small wave of guilt. "You don't have to... I mean, you don't have to talk about it."

Leah shook her head and continued, her voice quiet.

"We had only been engaged for a month. It was April," she added. "We were going to get married next year, after I graduated..." She cleared her throat again. "There were a few days where he seemed... sick? Like, he was running this insane fever... then one night, he just dipped. Completely disappeared. And he's really close with his mom, and he didn't even say anything to her."

Leah's voice shook just a little. Bella nodded encouragingly, pulling on her cigarette.

"I couldn't believe he would do that... he finally came back after two weeks . Two weeks . We were putting up posters. I think I called every hospital and jail in a 100 mile radius. We cried together every night he was gone. We thought he'd been hurt or something. My dad was helping to look for him - leading search parties and stuff..." Leah's voice dropped off for a moment. Bella took a deep, calming breath and Leah followed her lead. She took another sip of her beer.

"Then he just shows up. And he's like, a totally different man. I swear to god, he was taller. He was huge. How does a 20 year old man disappear for two weeks and come back looking six inches taller and like he's gained fifty pounds of muscle?" Leah demanded. Bella shook her head, trying to comprehend the turn this story had taken. What had happened?

"He wouldn't say a word to us about it. Nothing. Then he's spending all this time over at Billy's house."

"Black?" Bella interjected, incredulous.

"Yes!"

" Why?"

"I don't know! And all of a sudden, my dad goes from being just as worried as we were, to telling me to give him space. Like, he knew something, but he just would not tell me."

Leah glared at her cigarette, gritting her teeth. Her voice came out strained. "And he was so different. He was angry at everything. No one would tell me what was happening. I would have been there for him, but no one would let me, and everyone was telling me I needed to give him space, like he hadn't just put me through the worst fear-" her voice cut off; she closed her eyes, her jaw clenching. Bella sat up and faced Leah, while the other girl wrapped her arms around her legs. After a moment, she continued, voice lurching.

"We were engaged. And he was lying to me! " Her hands clenched into fists. "And then Emily... fucking Emily..."

Bella's eyes closed. So that's her name. The name of someone who would steal her own cousin's fiance. Charlie had at least told Bella that much.

Leah turned to look at Bella suddenly. Her eyes were on fire, her face screwed up in pain. "We were like sisters growing up..." she buried her face in her hands. "I can't fucking believe I'm telling you all this..."

Bella shook her head, watching Leah, hunched in pain. She tentatively placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. Leah promptly shook it off.

Bella gave her a second while she caught her breath. A strong breeze came in off the water, briny and fresh, and it seemed to revive her. She scrubbed the tears off her face with the back of her hand.

"So, that's pretty much it," she muttered.

They sat in silence for a moment. Bella's clouded head had cleared marginally as she considered what she'd just heard.

"Guess it's your turn."

Leah's eyes came to rest on Bella. It was the most open she'd ever seen the older girl's face.

Bella scoffed, a sound more like a cough. Her gaze roved as she wondered where to begin.

A vampire named James... actually, a vampire named Edward, who loved me and thirsted for my blood, more than any other human... Who promised to love me forever... Who left me after I was bitten... Who almost didn't stop when he sucked the venom from my veins...

Bella shuddered violently, her focus soft on the horizon.

Leah sipped her beer. "Tell me about Edward."

Bella gasped and almost gagged on her breath. "Don't- can't say his name-"

Leah regarded her with suspicious eyes. "My fiance left me for my fucking cousin, and even I can say his name."

Bella shook her head and wheezed, trying to clear the images that threatened to overtake her. Her hands twisted in her lap, before Leah helpfully supplied a cool, perspiring beer can. Bella pressed the cool aluminum to her neck, taking deep breaths. Finally, she could speak. She cleared her throat.

"Well... there's kind of two stories. But, it's kind of a secret, that's not really mine to tell..." she bit her lip.

"Was it drugs?" Leah's tone was flat.

Bella gasped in surprise. "What?"

"I don't know, didn't they have like, infinite money? Bunch of nice cars? Regular old doctors don't get paid like that in some podunk town like Forks. The way you act when I say his stupid name. You seemed like you were coming off of something when I met you. Honestly Bella, you looked like shit..." Leah trailed off, shrugging.

Bella giggled incredulously, before her face fell again. "No, it's not drugs. But they are different."

"Yeah, that's obvious. Weren't they all, like... I don't know. Weird? I mean I never saw them, they never came to the rez. But I heard they all had freaky eyes..."

"Yeah. They were..." Bella searched for words. "Okay, you spilled your guts to me, so I'm gonna try and be honest here, but I've told a lot of lies to Charlie, and I really don't want him any more worried about me than he already is."

Leah snorted. She gestured to the beer and pack of cigarettes on the ground between them. Bella nodded.

"Okay... how do I explain this. The... Cullens... they're not like a normal family. The children... they're not biologically related to the parents."

Leah nodded. "That's why they all date each other, right?" Leah's eyebrows pulled together, disgusted.

"Ah, yeah, I guess it is like that... But, it's not really that weird..." Leah did not look convinced. Bella pushed on. "And, they have move around. To avoid.. Attracting suspicion. Because... they don't..." Bella took a shuddering breath. They don't age. She couldn't betray their secret. She knew no one would believe her, anyway.

"Spit it out. What's wrong with them?"

"Okay, so I'm not going to tell you what it is, specifically-" Leah groaned.

"Seriously, what the hell could it be? Are they, like, a cult or something?" Bella giggled, a tiny hysterical paroxysm. "No-"

"Well, clearly he was bad for you."

Bella narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

Leah dramatically gestured towards Bella. "Your leg? The fact that you looked like Night of the Living Dead for months after he left? What happened in Phoenix?"

"Agh-that wasn't really their fault. They-he-was trying to protect me..."

"From what? Himself?"

Bella winced. Leah laughed, a bitter laugh. "Yeah, I've heard that too."

"When?" Bella asked quietly.

"After Sam came back. Every time I tried to talk to him, his hands would start to shake. We're talking about a guy who never even argued with me. But all of a sudden, he has these... rage issues. I would start in on him - he never gave me any straight answers. And he'd just start vibrating. Shaking. Clenching his fists and yelling at me to get away from him. That he had to protect me. From himself. I did not understand it..."

Her eyes started to shine. Bella closed her eyes, failing to suppress her quickening breath. Leah pushed on.\

"For weeks after he saw Emily... He was following her everywhere, it was psychotic. He forgot that I existed. Trailing after her, sitting outside her house all hours of the day and night, begging her to see him. She and I were still talking." She added, with a cynical chuckle.

"Then he begs her to take a hike with him. I guess for whatever reason that day she decided, fuck it, why not?" Leah took a shaky breath. "Then she ends up in the hospital."

Bella gasped. Leah nodded seriously.

"What-what happened?" Bella stammered.

"A 'bear attack,' apparently." Leah made air quotes around the words. "She was mauled. Her face, her arm, her side... And then, wham, they're together. Happily ever after. He never leaves her side in the hospital and they go home together when she's discharged."

Leah was crying, her face in her hands. Bella tried to push past the panic this story had aroused in her chest. She wrapped an arm around her friend's shaking shoulders. This time, she was not shaken off.

"And my mom is still talking to her," Leah sobbed. "And my dad has even seen him... and it was only like three months ago... and no one fucking cares about how I feel..." she trailed off into wracking sobs now.

"God. Fuck them," Bella whispered, suddenly furious at Leah's pain. It was the first time she'd ever said that word.

"Right?!" Leah wiped her nose on her sleeve. "Then they tried to pull that concerned parent shit. Give me a break." She hiccuped and took a sip of her beer. "I told them if they were so worried about me they'd stop talking to the asshole who fucking abandoned me and that who-" Leah cut herself off, gritting her teeth against the last few tears that had managed to sneak out.

Bella lit two cigarettes. Leah let a haggard breath out and leaned her head back against the other girl's arm. "God, please don't tell anyone I just lost it like that."

"Who would I tell? You're my only friend." They gave each other a wan smile.

They sat out on the beach far past midnight. They drank all the beers and smoked all the cigarettes they'd brought with them, and they didn't talk about it any more. Bella felt surreally alright. The alcohol sweetly numbed the anxiety that would otherwise have been swirling in her chest; for a moment, the girls felt almost normal together.

That changed, though, when they stood up to walk back to the Clearwater's. Bella's stomach lurched and she felt her balance slip away from her; she went sideways and almost crashed into Leah, who burst into laugher at her. "B, are you drunk?"

"Yes? I think so? I've never actually been drunk before..." Bella's stomach was a riot inside her. "I'm- think I'm going to be sick-" and she promptly was.

Leah snickered as they walked the trail through the short wooded bank separating her yard from the beach. "Can't believe you're almost 18 and you've never been drunk before."

"I'm a good kid," Bella mumbled as they walked.

"With a rebellious streak," Leah corrected.

"Can I stay here? I don't think I can drive," Bella sighed.

"Obviously," Leah brushed her off.

Bella did not wake up screaming.