Chapter 4 - The House

As Mark and Sam were talking, Jack left to find Malek. He did not want the last conversation before the flight home to be an argument. He found him kneeling on the floor while Malika was on a play mat. Jack was surprised to hear the Tok'ra singing to her.

He knew Malek would turn serious, and he almost walked away. He sighed. They had to talk. He approached as Malek waved a rattle.

"Colonel." His expression turned serious.

Jack sat down. "You said I didn't know you."

Malek fixed Malika's little bow.

"But…you don't let me know you."

Malek looked at him.

"I mean, I know you have a…happy side…"

Malek frowned.

"Or playful side if you prefer. When I'm near, you put up this wall of arrogance and seriousness, and I know that's not the real you. At least, it's not all of you."

"We work together."

"I've gone to a bachelor party with you. I've been to your wedding. I have seen you having sex."

"We didn't expect you-"

Jack smiled slightly. "You blushed."

"I did not."

"You are over a thousand years old. How does sex make you blush?"

"Amb blushed."

"He's not the one in control."

Malek made the smallest smile.

"Ah! You can smile around me." Jack sat back. "That's it? I need to bring up sex to every Tok'ra? Because you know I will."

"You might offend a few people if you did," he replied seriously, but there was amusement in his eyes.

"That's the people to bring it up to."

Malek made the smallest smile again. "General."

"We're off duty. You can call me Jack."

"O'Neil." That was as far as Malek willing to go.

"You see, when I meet someone, I'm me. There's no hiding. You know who you are getting."

"You often do not act as smart as you are."

"Well, that's…different." Jack was a little surprised that Malek noticed.

"And I have hardly seen you laugh."

"But you have seen it."

"Barely."

Jack sighed. "At the the bachelor party, you danced around Martouf because he was nervous."

Malek frowned.

"That's the only time I haven't seen you completely on guard with me, and…you enjoyed it. The little dance. You were smiling, but…why?"

"I was trying to make him-"

"No, I don't mean why were you dancing. Why are you always on guard with me? We have known each other for years."

"Name one Tok'ra symbiote that you like."

"I like Selmak."

"You tolerate her."

"I… Well, she barely talks to me."

"Because she knows she makes you uncomfortable."

Jack glanced away, realizing that bothered him much more than he expected.

"You have been making snide remarks about us from the start. You make jokes at our expense. You cringe when Kela'an takes over. You obviously prefer talking to hosts to such a degree that you make many of them uncomfortable. You favor Malika over Iasis. You complain that you don't know us, but you shudder at us."

"Every one of you is the same. Aloof. Arrogant," which he quickly changed to. "A little arrogant."

"How do you expect people to act when meeting someone who doesn't like us?"

Jack frowned. "You acted like that before we really met."

"Meeting you comes with a warning."

"You were warned about me?" That was very disturbing.

"Yes."

"Was the warning accurate?"

"Yes."

He frowned slightly. He considered reminding him why he felt the way he did, but Jack quickly dismissed the idea, realizing that Malek might just end the conversation.

"You are respected, but you make constant remarks, jokes about why we take hosts, calling us snakes."

"Snakes is bad?"

"It's rude. It's not even the right type of animal. You are more closely related to a snake than I am."

"Oh, so…what are you?"

Malek glared.

"No jokes."

"Hirudinea."

"What?"

"…Leeches."

It took all his willpower not to laugh. "I'm sorry. I'm serious. Not one joke."

"And why do you want to nickname us?"

"Mal is bad?"

"That is literally what it means. Bad. Malek means ruler."

"Ruler."

"It was a name from my first host's world. He was happy that I chose a name from his world, and you insult him every time you shorten it."

"Oh."

"If you saw me in a tank, would you pick me up?"

Jack flinched very slightly. He hoped that Malek didn't notice.

Malek shook his head. "I respect you, but that…that is why we can never be friends."

Jack sat back. "I…"

Malek picked up his namesake, then left.

-x-x-x-x-

Sam approached by him. "Malek told me about the conversation."

Jack sighed. "Why didn't anyone tell me how offensive I was?"

"That's not how they operate, and it's not about the jokes. It's about the feelings behind them, and they don't except that to change." Sam sat down. "Besides, they've dealt with far more offensive people than you."

"They warned each other about me."

"Just tell Malek you would pick him up without, well, without flinching when you say it."

Jack rubbed his temple. "How is that even a question? Why would he be in a tank?"

"Not for any good reason."

"Oh. Yeah." He hadn't really considered that.

"You would if you had to."

"Tok'ra still make mistakes or get desperate. Hell, the reason they-"

"We."

Jack paused. "The reason you had to go into deep hiding was because you were betrayed. The Tok'ra barely acknowledge it."

"Because it hurts them."

"How…? How did you know to trust Kela'an?" He felt very nervous, knowing the question was probably offensive. "You barely knew him. Her?"

"He was a him at the time." Sam sat down. "Blending is…it's scary, even with someone you trust, and the truth is, there are some Tok'ra I would have let die. Even just accepting my burns, and… I honestly don't know if I would have made the same choice if I didn't have burns."

Jack nodded. "Kela'an doesn't…mind that?"

"He expected to die with Drack. He never expected me to offer myself as a host. He doesn't care that I might not have. She's just grateful that I did." Sam smiled. "She's also grateful that I was there when Drack died, making sure he wasn't revived to be tortured. The truth is, if Kela'an hadn't been married to Anise, I'm not sure I would have trusted him. She knows and understands that."

"Anise is… Daniel sees something I don't."

"They make him happy as they did me," Kela'an replied before adding with a smile. "Well, look at that. You didn't flinch this time."

"Right. Uh. I didn't realize that I was doing that…or that it was obvious."

"Humans are easy to read."

Jack frowned. "I don't want Malek thinking I'm disgusted by him.

"But you are."

"No. It's not that simple."

"You fear him."

"No." Jack frowned. "Alright, with some of you."

"We are what we are." Kela'an smiled.

"But, I don't fear Malek. I wouldn't want to, well, live with him, but I don't fear him."

"So would you pick him up?"

"What if it wasn't Malek?"

"Ah."

Jack sighed.

"Do you honestly want a better relationship with Malek?"

"Yes."

"Then ask him questions that don't have to do with Amb."

"Not Amb?"

"Normally it wouldn't be an issue, but your favoritism towards hosts makes both uncomfortable. Some hosts activity avoid you as a result."

"So…"

"Ask about his larvahood. Or his past hosts. Marriages. Children."

"He has children?"

"We have all had at least one host who was parent. Just ask him something personal."

"What if it's too personal, but I don't realize it?"

"Then he just won't answer. He may open up. He may not, but he will know you are trying."

"Does he…?" Jack frowned. "He is a thousand years old. Does he…actually care what I think?"

"I still care for those I knew a thousand years ago. Yes. He cares, and he will still care in another thousand years."

Jack hadn't fully considered that he would be remembered in a thousand years.

"As will Iasis and her children."

"That's…"

"Overwhelming?"

"Yeah."

Kela'an smiled. "How do you want to be remembered?"

-x-x-x-x-

Jack approached Malek. "We'll be leaving soon."

"When Samantha is ready."

Jack sat down.

Malek looked to him.

"What do you look like?"

He gestured to himself.

Jack chuckled. "No, not Amb. You. You asked if I would pick you up, so…what do you like like?"

"I am black with blue tips and freckles.

"You have freckles?"

"All Tok'ra have freckles."

"I've never seen freckles on a symbiote before."

"It is rare among the Goa'uld, but Egeria gave us all freckles."

Jack smiled.

"Most of me is black. I have dark blue freckles on my head, which becomes a solid blue on my jaws, which turns to light blue. The same pattern is on my tail. Freckles. Dark blue. Light blue. My fins do the same without the freckles."

"You sound distinctive."

"Anise looks very similar to me because we were born in the same batch. Not identical, but we would be difficult to tell apart."

"Anyone else I know?"

"The others died before you met us."

"Oh. Um. Did you ever have children? I mean, I know Amb didn't. At least, I don't think he did, but what about you?" Jack frowned, realizing how blunt that was. Maybe Malek didn't want to-

"I've had fourteen children with my previous hosts."

"Wow. That's…a lot of kids. Do you still…talk to their descendants?"

"Once a host dies, they usually lose interest in me. After a few generations, I'm just seen as an annoyance."

That hit him hard. "Every time you lose a host, you lose family."

"Yes."

"You seem to handle it well."

"Our new hosts needs us."

Jack frowned slightly. "You help each other though? I mean the other Tok'ra."

"It's a very personal loss. We prefer if the others focus on helping the new hosts."

"That sounds…very lonely." He frowned. "I understand though, wanting to be alone."

"I imagine you would."

Jack frowned slightly. "You know about Charlie?"

"You muttered about him on Netu in front of Martouf, and…"

"You know everything he knows."

"It was not his intention to betray your privacy, but yes, we learned everything about each other. We have not told anyone else."

Jack nodded. "Thank you."

"As for Amb, no, he doesn't have children. He learned of his preference for other men when he was young. He's never been with a woman, and the men in his clan generally did not adopt until they are older, especially hunters."

"He was never curious?"

"Have you ever slept with a man?"

"No." He frowned slightly. They were supposed to be talking about Malek, not Amb or himself. "If you don't mind me asking, what was it like the first time you blended?"

Malek smiled. "Henfird Vix. He taught me a great deal about life. If you think I have a temper now, imagine adolescent me."

Jack laughed.

"He was beyond patient. Fifty-six years old, and he loved watching me explore a new world. I had no idea the…wonders that can be experienced outside of the water. The world was brighter. Sounds were crisper. All of my senses. I used new fingers to touch my new arm, and…" He closed his eyes.

Jack grinned.

"Our skin must absorb both oxygen and nutrition, so one way it more sensitive than yours. We must know exactly what is against us, especially as it might be toxic. However, it doesn't feel the same. If it did, we'd be in pain all the time."

"That would suck."

"And I could. I had limbs, fingers. I could walk and ran and twirl."

"Like Iasis does?"

"I used to love twirling," he said with a smile.

Jack smiled as he remembered how happy Malek had looked when dancing around Martouf.

"And I could feel my host, feel every part of Henfird. He had the beginnings of arthritis, and I could focus on it. I could make his body heal itself. He thought that was amazing, but it was only the beginning. I slowed his aging. Then over the years, I made him stronger. I enhanced his senses. I pushed his body to its limit. He pushed himself as well."

"It took years?"

"We never stop caring of our hosts. Loving them. Healing them. Comforting them…"

"Defending them," Jack realized.

"Defending them, or just enjoying life with them. And they do the same for us. Amb may be shy with you and others, but he's not with me. Even if we are not talking to each other, we are always sharing thoughts and feelings."

"That sounds…overwhelming," he admitted.

Amb took over. It was the first time he had done so to talk to Jack.

"It is, at first. Malek held back as much as he could for my sake. We didn't fit. Not at first. No one does, especially because we are both in pain. It takes time. It took years. Now though…when he was taken from me, I was terrified. Half of my soul was gone. I felt…cold and sick. My skin felt numb. My heart was physically aching. I didn't know if he even lived, but if he did, I knew that he was hurting even more than I was."

Jack glanced away, now understanding Malek's question.

"We still have nightmares," Amb admitted. "Malek probably will…long after I have passed." He rubbed the back of his neck. "He doesn't like it when I bring up my death."

Jack nodded.

"Jack…"

He was surprised to hear his first name.

"I understand if it's too painful, but…do you mind telling us about Charlie?"

That hurt.

"Malek wants to remember your son, so that he can be remembered."

Jack looked to him.

"I understand if-"

"No. I… I would like him to be remembered. It just..." It hurt.

"I'm sorry."

"What Malek is offering is more than I ever thought possible. It hurts, but for him to be remembered, it is worth it. He's worth it." Jack looked to Amb. "Thank you."

-x-x-x-x-

Neither Amb nor Malek had said much, but Jack knew they had taken everything in.

Afterwards, it was time to get going."

"I will remember him," Malek assured.

Jack nodded. "Thank you."

They said their goodbyes to Mark before heading to the airport.

x-x-x-x

Sam looked to Jack on the plane. "Am I missing something? You've both been quiet."

"I…I told him about Charlie."

"Oh." Jack so rarely brought him up, that she wasn't sure how to react.

"He'll be remembered."

Sam smiled.

"He's very attentive towards her." Jack said, gesturing to Malek, mostly to change the subject.

"She gets a lot of attention at home."

Jack smiled.

x-x-x-x

Sam asked about Daniel as soon as they got to the base.

"No. Unfortunately, he won't be back for a few days."

They arrived at the stargate much faster than Jack liked. He missed having her around. Malek went up the ramp as soon as it was dialed, but waited.

Jack looked to her. "I hope to see you soon."

"Mark is planning a Halloween party. He's invited the Tok'ra."

Jack smiled. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

"Will I be seeing you on Halloween?"

"Yeah. You, Daniel, and Teal'c are invited, but costumes are required."

"Oh. Costumes."

"It'll be Halloween, sir."

"With Tok'ra?" Jack smiled. "I'll figure it out."

"Clearance?"

"You know General Hammond. If the Tok'ra want to come to Earth to party, he'll make it happen."

Sam smiled before joining Malek. "Ready?"

"Very much so." He looked to Jack. "Goodbye Colonel."

"Oh." He was surprised. "Bye. I hope to see you on Halloween."

Malek made the smallest smile before turning. Jack did a little wave as they left. He sighed after. "Costumes."

The End