Raphael stares into the mirror like he does every morning, hands gripping the porcelain sink as he scrutinizes his appearance. His black eyes focus on his busted lip, then travel to his bruised cheek before landing on his locs.

His reaches up and tugs at one, grumbles for the millionth time about how he needs to dye them back to brown; the red makes him look gay.

"Raph! Can you take any longer in there?" Leo pounds on the door loudly, pain shooting through Raph's skull at every knock.

"Give me a minute!" Raph snaps loudly, pinching his nose.

"Goddamn Leo, can't fuckin' wait two seconds," he grumbles to himself. "Don't even wanna go to fuckin' school, who needs it anyway?"

If it were up to him, Raphael would just drop out of school completely. Not because he isn't smart or something, - because there's nothing he hates more than people assuming he's an idiot just because he has a temper - but because of what happened.

The thing no one, not even his own brothers, definitely not Yoshi, knows about. The thought makes Raph's mouth run dry. Maybe he can skip just one more day; is truancy even a real thing?

"Raph!" Leo bangs on the door again, and Raph flings it open with a sneer.

"Will ya quit being so impatient? God damn..." Raph rolls his eyes, purposefully brushes Leo's shoulder as he walks past.

Recently, things have been tense between the two quadruplets closest in age. Leo knows something is up, can sense the change in Raph, and it's setting both of their tempers off.

Raph makes his way down the hall, purposefully walking straight past the kitchen. As much as he loves Yoshi, he can't deal with another lecture. If he knew what was going on, maybe he would understand Raph's growing anger, his falling grades.

He makes his way into his and Mikey's shared room, sitting on the edge of his bed to pull his red converse on. Up until they were in the sixth grade, Leo and Raph had shared a room while Mikey and Donnie had shared another. Once Leo started getting on Raph's last nerves, that had to change, and Raph was put with Mikey because Donnie had lamented for days about how he wouldn't be able to deal with Raph's disorganization.

"Hey, Raph," Mikey pokes his head into the room with his usual grin spread across his face. "Yoshi said you better come get breakfast."

"Let me guess," Raph grunts, finished with tying his shoes. "A growing boy needs a healthy breakfast."

"Yep," Mikey laughs, head disappearing.

Without warning or much reason, Raph gets the urge to put his fist through drywall. He doesn't want breakfast - Yoshi will see the bruises littering his face he had somehow managed to hide from the day before. He'll give some long lecture that will just put him in a bad mood before he has to deal with the bullshit going on at school.

Raph closes his eyes tight.

I wish I could text Casey.

Raph yanks at his locs for the thought; because of what happened, and because Casey hasn't woken up before eight a single day in his life.

He decides to grab his skateboard and makes a beeline towards the front door, ignoring the looks he's given and shutting the door a little harder than strictly necessary.

The commute is alright. The occasional thought of veering into the road crosses Raph's mind, he contemplates skipping the periods his bullies are in.

His bullies.

Raph rolls his eyes at the thought, it sounds so elementary. It's not like he's the biggest guy in school who no one would ever think to slight, but he would think his hair pin trigger and bad attitude (not to mention his plethora of victorious fights) would keep assholes like that away.

He sighs. Guess it doesn't matter when you're different, when you get caught so red handed you can't even deny the fact.

He tries to shake the thought away, knowing he'll get sucked into the memory fast if he doesn't focus on something else, and fails at he zones out to the sound of his skateboard wheels against the concrete.


Raph tugs at Casey's slightly damp hair, suppressing a moan as the hockey players tongue explores his mouth. The locker room after a game was always the most secluded place either of them could think of, heaven knows Raph could never bring Casey back to his place.

"Casey," Raph breaths, hands gripping the tall boys shirt as his mouth moves down to Raph's neck and starts leaving small marks there.

Casey moves to push his knee between Raph's legs, who groans. "Mm, fuck."

Raph opens his mouth to whisper to Casey that they need to stop before they get caught, accidentally lets out a high-pitched whine when the hockey player bites at his collar bone.

Raph pushes his boyfriend away lightly, who immediately stops and looks up with a slightly disappointed expression. He opens his mouth, probably to say something like "C'mon, babe, there's no one here," when Raph spots them.

A group of five boys just behind a corner - heaven knows how they managed to be so quiet - one aiming a phone directly where Casey pins Raph to the wall.

Heart dropping, Raph pushes at Casey more, who loosens his grip on his boyfriend and follows his gaze. The hockey players face hardens, lips tightening into a straight line.


Raph shakes himself from his trance, flexing his fingers where his nails previously dug into his palms. They're bleeding, but he can't make himself care.

Life went straight to shit after that. The boys didn't tell the entire school like Raph had expected, instead they used it as blackmail.

After months of homophobic slander whispered to him in class, the shoves he receives in the halls, how they even catch him behind the school after last bell lets out and beat him to a bloody pulp; Raph is tired of it.

He's been distancing himself from his brothers, to the point they don't even see each other during the school day. They quite literally have no clue on what's happening.

He doesn't have anyone to tell, and that pisses him off. What pisses him off more, though, is the fact that even if he did have someone to tell - he probably wouldn't.

Raph's been ignoring Casey for four whole months now, and it's eating him from the inside out. Even if he could grow a pair and talk to him - what would he say.

I'm sorry I yelled at you. It wasn't your fault. I'm not embarrassed of you, I'm just embarrassed of what I am.

I love you.

He can't tell Yoshi. What would his adopted father say? Raph wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment painted on the old man's face. Would he kick him out, his life going back to how it was before he and his brothers were adopted?

Leo is out of the picture. There's absolutely no way Raph could admit to him that he's right, he is changing. And the reason for that change? He would rather keel over and die than ever admit Leo's right. (Which isn't saying much, considering that's all he wishes for recently.)

Donnie is different. He's always right, so Raph has gotten used to it. But for some reason, he can't bear himself like that to his brother. What will he think? Donnie's always been the logical one, what if he thinks homosexuality is evolutionarily wrong? The disgust on his brothers face would break Raph.

Mikey. Mikey would kill him the most, and Raph knows it. His little brother, hating him? That would really be Raph's undoing. The look of confusion, the realization that his tough older brother is just a freak.

Raph closes his eyes tight at the thought, stops his skateboard and kicks it up into his hand now that he's on school grounds and the resource officers are allowed to confiscate it. He pushes his way through the sea of teenagers, scowl on his face as he tongues at his busted lip to taste the blood there.

His brothers are already at their lockers, April leaning into Donnie, all having been driven by Yoshi. Why the old man even owns a car in a city like New York beats Raph, he's never thought to ask.

They all stare at him as he puts in the combination for his locker, swinging it open harshly and jamming his skateboard inside. He doesn't bother to take things out of his book bag and place them inside - standing at his locker during passing period would be a death wish.

"Hey, Raph," April speaks first, pushing her glasses up her nose with her ring finger.

"Hey," Raph grunts, slamming his locker shut. He's never outright hostile to April, but he does hold some resentment towards her.

It's not that she's not amazing, because she is. Raph would actually really like her if she wasn't a painful reminder that she and Donnie have something he and Casey never can.

A happy, un-judged, non-secrete relationship.

"Do you want to walk to class with me today? I kinda need someone to talk to about the reading assignment," she continues, nicely snuggled under Donnie's arm. Raph scrunches his nose at the sickeningly sweet sight, then processes what she said.

"Reading assignment?" he asks, glancing over his shoulder at what he thought was someone calling his name, only to find no one. He turns his head back, pinches his nose in frustration.

"Nah, I'm skipping first period; didn't know there was a reading assignment," he rolls his eyes at the thought. Annoying ass teachers. "I gotta go."

He walks away quickly, pretending not to see how Mikey reaches out for him slightly before his arm is pulled back by an annoyed looking Leo.