"Queen Elizabeth has passed away," Richard said somberly, turning off the television. "An end of an era."
"I do wish I could have had the Queen at one of my candlelight suppers," Hyacinth said. "I did send several invitations, but I suppose that she was far too busy with affairs of state to attend. I'm sure she was still greatly flattered."
Richard turned away so his wife would not see him rolling his eyes.
"Wait! I just got a wonderful idea!" Hyacinth exclaimed, forcibly turning him around to face her. "We will host a candlelight supper tonight in honor of Her Majesty's passing! Richard, there is much work to be done. I want to do this before the rest of the world knows, and someone has the same idea."
"I'm pretty sure the rest of the world knows already, especially these days, with social media," Richard said dryly.
"Don't be petty, Richard. I do think the news should have been released only to the citizens of Britain, first, so we have time to mourn before we're mobbed by the media of other countries."
"I don't think we'll really mourn," Richard said. "She was almost a hundred years old, it isn't as if she died suddenly. And there are anti-colonialists who are most certainly not troubled by this."
Hyacinth sniffed.
"That type of people should be ashamed," she said imperiously. "Our Lord says that we shouldn't speak ill of the dead."
Before she could go into a religious spiel, Richard hastily interrupted.
"A candlelight supper for the Queen, you say?"
"Oh, yes, of course! How foolish of me to be distracted by politics. I will write out a list of what I need you to buy for the occasion, and while you shop, I will invite Elizabeth and Emmett, the vicar and his wife, Lydia Hawksworth, and Councilor Mrs. Nugent."
"Very well, Hyacinth."
It took Richard two hours to get what Hyacinth needed. First, to the art shop to purchase a print of a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II. Several others were after the same product in the wake of the news, but Richard, thankfully, managed to get the last one. He shuddered at the thought of coming home empty-handed.
"I'm sure you could have procured a portrait if you'd been forceful and executive, Richard," he could almost hear Hyacinth saying.
Then to the craft shop for a yard of black bunting and some miniature British flags...
Then to a china shop for "something that will remind people of the Queen", as Hyacinth said. Richard purchased a corgi-shaped appetizer tray for Hyacinth's canapes and strawberry tarts...
Then to the wine shop for a (very expensive) sherry...
At long last, an exhausted Richard stumbled into the Bouquet home, setting the packages in the foyer hall with a heavy sigh.
"Richard, is that you I hear exhaling loudly?" Hyacinth said shrilly, hurrying to greet him with a frown,
"Who else would it be?" Richard said.
"Don't be saucy, Richard. As you know, it is very classless to breathe so loudly. Now, did you get everything I asked you to get?"
"Of course, Hyacinth."
Hyacinth sorted through the packages, nodding approvingly until she unwrapped the packing paper from the final object. With a frown, she surveyed the corgi appetizer tray, before turning the same frown to her husband.
"Do you really think this is appropriate for a dinner commemorating the passing of our Queen?"
"You said to get something that will remind people of her," Richard objected. "She loved corgis."
"I meant something more elegant, like a set of swan shaped wine flutes," Hyacinth said crisply. "But it'll have to be. We have much work to do."
"WE?"
Hours later, an exhausted Richard collapsed into a seat at the dining room table while Hyacinth looked imperiously around. The table was lined with small vases containing small sprigs of flowers and the miniature British flags, and her canapes and tarts were lined neatly in the corgi appetizer tray. The portrait of the late Queen hung on the far wall, draped in the black bunting.
Richard suddenly noticed that there were only four places set, and inquired about this of Hyacinth.
"Unfortunately, Councilor Mrs. Nugent has to be at a conference with the mayor all night. Lydia Hawksworth was injured in a terrible flower-arranging accident and can't leave her house. The vicar's wife said the vicar had to co-host a meeting of the Society of Interdenominational Harmony with a Catholic bishop tonight. She is taking care of a neighbor who fell ill with that Covid virus. So it will just be you, me, and Elizabeth and Emmett."
There was no Society of Interdenominational Harmony, as far as Richard knew, and he chuckled under his breath at how more and more elaborate and ridiculous the vicar's "excuses" were, and how Hyacinth seemed not to reflect on how odd it was that four of her guests were all "unable" to attend.
The dinner proceeded that evening as planned, anyway; Hyacinth opened by passing out flutes of sherry and sending the dog appetizer tray around. While Richard and their guests (if their closest neighbors could really be guests, now) were subjected to a shrill and loud rendition of "God Save the Queen". That was, until a shrill beeping startled Hyacinth out of the song.
"The dinner!" she yelped, racing into the kitchen.
A series of uncharacteristic curses and a loud banging issued from the kitchen, followed by the swishing sound of a fire extinguisher. Hyacinth shuffled out, her face a mask of injured pride, soot smeared on her newest floral dress.
"Stay where you are, Elizabeth and Emmett. Richard is going to go and get us some takeaway fish and chips. Quite less elegant than I'd planned, but still charmingly British. I'm sure the Queen would approve. Go along then, Richard. Richard?"
"Just give me a moment to get up, Hyacinth," came a muffled voice, eliciting a searching glance form Hyacinth.
Elizabeth spoke up nervously.
"The portrait of Her Majesty started to fall down when you slammed the kitchen door, and-and-Richard...well...had a bit of a mishap."
Hyacinth hurried to the far end of the room and frowned disapprovingly at the sight that greeted her. Under a mass of black tulle and a broken portrait lay her husband, a bit startled but otherwise unscathed.
"Help me up, Hyacinth," he said.
"Richard, how careless of you!" Hyacinth reproved as she pulled him to his feet. "Her Majesty would be most appalled if she knew how this dinner in her honor had transpired."
"Fortunately, she's not here or on any other earthly plane," Richard said.
"No, but doubtlessly she is with our Savior," Hyacinth opined. "I hope she is not looking down on us right now."
