Author Notes
My warm greetings to you, who even after so many years from the release of this anime, just stumbled across this fanfic. Welcome!
About me and this project: My name is Feryus, and I'm a trans man. Since I was a child I've been a longtime fan of anime, I fell in love with them and around 2009 to 2012 I met two that to this day hold a special place in my heart. Simoun and Utena. I was at the beginning of my teenager years and even at that time I was sure that I was different. I knew how I felt and how I wanted to be, but only when I turned 14 years old, the same age Utena has in the anime, is that I made the final decision to go through the changes that allowed me the joy and dignity of being the person I am today.
I took a long time away from the world of fanfics as a writer, and I came back recently to post two works for Simoun that I had wanted to write for many years and had never done before. When I finally did it in September of this year, I ended up also revisiting the world of Utena, and the idea of portraying a little of my personal history also for this fandom started to occupy my mind during the last month, since I know it's very rare to find a story with this theme around here.
Considering that Anthy has already experienced... ahem... all kinds of relationships in Ohtori, and no other character in the anime can really be considered 'normal' either, so when I came up with this idea that reflects the feelings I myself went through in my life, I thought... well... why not?
This fanfic is the result.
Maybe the characters are a little OOC, but I confess that I don't feel the slightest bit ashamed for having written all this *laughs* It's just... I may say, another way of portraying unconditional love and acceptance , regardless of its shape. It is an incredible and beautiful experience that I had the privilege of living, and today, so many years later and married to my wife, I can say that I am very fulfilled. I don't regret fighting to be who I really am, facing prejudices and feel what it's like to love and be loved in return, regardless of the choices I've made to feel happy with myself.
So if you're bored, curious or don't mind a different read, you're more than welcome to check this out. Now if that's not really your sort of thing and it makes you unconfortable, there are several conventional stories around here of Utena X Anthy that are wonderful to read and I recommend you to go check them out. *winks*
Now that I've finally posted these three stories for Simoun and Utena, I feel like I've managed to close this cycle of my life in peace and I can end the fanfictions to dedicate myself exclusively to writing my original books.
For those of you who want to read this story, as I'm not an english speaker I apologize for the mistakes that I'm sure are lost out there. I also dedicate this work with affection to all people who, like me, seek / have sought happiness and love regardless of its form and I thank you in advance for your time. With all my heart I hope you will like it.
Sincerely,
Feryus.
Sinopse: When she finally finds the one she was looking for, ten years later, Anthy stares, deeply surprised. Although they were unmistakly her prince's eyes, those soft, kind and all too familiar sky blue irises that stared back at her, devoid of any sign of recognition, didn't belong to a woman. (Diferent post-series oneshot / Transgender-male-Utena X Anthy pairing. See author's notes for more information.)
Secrets We Share
~.~
For a long, long time, the princess wandered the vast world, looking for the prince who had saved her.
Her first steps, completely owner of herself and her destiny, thirstily savoring the taste of freedom that she had long forgotten what was like, were taken with shyness and a little fear.
The real world was too wide, expanding beyond borders she couldn't even conceive... or so she believed in the first days of her journey, until something inside her began to remind her of a time before the history of the world, when there were great castles, princesses in distress and noble princes to rescue them, and she had traveled with a light and pure spirit across all continents and had known all cities... that was how she came across greed and selfishness of the human heart; it corrupted her brother and broke her spirit, and the long period she spent in her prison had made her forget that the real world wasn't really a strange place for her; after millennia, certainly different and changed, but not unknown.
The promise she had made to the girl with long pink hair made her gradually build up the courage to explore that vast real and curious world on her own, and with each new sunrise her determination became greater. She wouldn't stop and wouldn't rest until she found her, until she found her prince, until she found her love.
And Anthy searched and searched and searched for a long time. Her journey made her revisit all the cities in the world and make discoveries, meet and learn new things, new people, and also her regained freedom made her rediscover herself. She was able to smile with more spontaneity, to feel content to do small things she liked, to enjoy the emotions that invaded her heart, to feel again the desire to live fill her body and her spirit, healing it and giving her wings to fly once more. She flew around the world, looking for the girl who was her prince, and her newfound ability to feel emotions was also constantly playing with her heart, leaving her anxious, worried, wistful and sad when by the end of the sunset she still hadn't find her and perceived that another day had passed.
Another day without you in my life...
Still, even when at nights she lay in her bed feeling so empty and lonely that her newfound tears welled up on her pillow, she never gave up... and day after day she stood up to continue her relentless quest.
She thought of all possible possibilities, and as she learned to adapt to the changes of the real world, Anthy was able to use other means to help her besides her magic, which unfortunately couldn't be very effective in locating a single person in the midst of billions of human beings spread across an entire planet.
She imagined her pink-haired prince finishing high school and even entering college, and she looked for a girl-woman by the name of Utena Tenjou in educational institutions everywhere she went. The confrontation in the last duel had been so painful and violent, even more so after what she had done (and it made her heart ache every time she thought about it), that she considered the possibility that her prince might be badly hurt and likewise provided her name to all the hospitals she could find. She even went so far as to imagine the possibility that she might have forgotten everything that had happened in Ohtori and provided a physical description to missing agencies, but got no results. She also considered the worst case scenario, the one she loathed the most and that made her whole being tremble with a fear and anguish so deep and voracious just trying to think about it, but her quest forced her to also check the list of the deceased, and when she did it she always prayed to the unknown good forces of the universe that she would never find her name there.
And she so very grateful never found it.
Just once, after two years of searching, her heart froze and then exploded with vast hope that momentarily had left her breathless in mid-call. A hospital in the city where she was currently staying returned positive information on a record of a girl named Utena Tenjou, and she literally ran over to the place; with a small influence of her magic she managed to coerce the receptionist to hand her a copy of the patient's chart. She was extremely disappointed, as it was just an old record and she didn't find her prince there, but her heart also filled with hope as she now had a concrete certainty that Utena was there, that she was alive, somewhere in that wide and vast world.
And she would find her.
Still, that precious little snippet of information in her hands wasn't easy to study, looking for clues as to where her prince might have gone.
The report dated back to a time that was very close to the day when she had left Ohtori and stepped into the real world to begin her long quest. It accused the entry of a young patient aged approximately 14 to 15 years, a girl with blue eyes and long pink hair, with a serious deep stab wound in the abdomen and internal bleeding (her tears smeared the ink printed on the paper). Nothing had been found on her that could reveal more about her identity than her name, Utena Tenjou, engraved on the tag of the almost completely ruined dark blue jacket she wore. The patient remained hospitalized for months in a coma, slowly recovering until she awoke without any memory of her past and showing signs of mental imbalance, which was treated by psychiatrists for a few more months until she was finally discharged.
Knowing that... Knowing how much she suffered... being sure now that she really had forgotten... And also... Mental imbalances... treatments with psychiatrists...? Her heart ached so much to think on how she could be right now... Was she okay? Was she still tormented by the horrible happenings of Ohtori, not knowing what they meant? Did she still have nightmares of the duel, of the hundreds swords of hate... of her and her betrayal...?
Her search continued, more and more avid, more and more desperate; she hadn't found any more clues, any other information, and time passed, passed, and she searched and searched for her prince in vain.
Years have passed and her prince now must be a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman, and Anthy constantly wondered how she was after so long. Her heart yearned for her love, desperately, and it was now so close to the date they had made that sacred promise to each other.
Let's have tea and laugh together ten years from now, okay?
And in the middle of an ocean with no answers, Anthy began to fear that she wouldn't be able to find her prince in time to fulfill her promise. No matter how hard she searched for her, no one knew a woman named Utena Tenjou; her love just didn't seem to exist in that world.
~.~
With three days left until their appointment, as she worriedly walked the streets of the city where she was staying at that time, her life unexpectedly took a new turn. It all happened so fast, so suddenly that she could barely register it; all she needed was her distraction while crossing the street alone, a red light and an angry, hurried driver stomping down on the gas pedal. When she saw it coming towards her she was sure her time had come; it was too late and had no way to escape, doomed to succumb at the will of her fate. Frozen with fear, in that last second she regretted bitterly for failing in her long quest, for taking so long to wake up, for not telling her while they were together that she loved her.
And just as suddenly as it happened, like a miracle descending from the heavens in response to the pure and true feelings of her heart, the princess was rescued from the cruel metallic dragon by strong, warm arms that pulled her out of the vehicle's path and held her in a secure embrace as they both fell to the ground. Her green eyes widened as she stared at her savior's face.
When she finally finds the one she was looking for, ten years later, Anthy stares, deeply surprised. Although they were unmistakly her prince's eyes, those soft, kind and all too familiar sky blue irises that stared back at her, devoid of any sign of recognition, did not belong to a woman.
He knelt and gently helped her to a sitting position; concern dressed his gaze, a few pink strands of his very short hair falling over his eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked her; his voice was the same as in her memories, but now it had a deeper and rich tone, still containing that same gentleness and firmness.
A lump rose in her throat and she couldn't speak; her prince's name slipped onto her tongue, but she couldn't say it out aloud, partly in shock, partly in surprise, and it was more automatic than conscious that she nodded her head in affirmation, and he thought that her lack of reaction was due to the near-death experience.
He helped her to her feet, and standing in the middle of the street, Anthy remained still, staring hard at him with wide eyes.
He was as tall as in her memories, his fair skin slightly tanned, his body strong and athletic; he wore a dark, short-sleeved T-shirt that clung to his broad, smooth, chest and showed the strong muscles of his arms; white sports shorts that ended at his knees and sneakers that were old from so much use. His face was still the same, although now it showed the signs of maturity and adulthood provided by those ten years that had passed.
His relaxed, easy-going demeanor, his good-natured countenance…she recognized her prince at once with a certainty so strong in her heart as the certainty she had that she loved him. No matter in what world, she would have recognized him, she would always recognize him despite his gentle blue eyes now watched her back with curiosity and without any flicker of recognition. Chuchu recognized him too; he jumped from his hiding place in her bag and grabbed the man's neck as if his little life depended on it.
"What is it?" Her prince chuckled lightly after his slight surprise wore off. He held the little creature and stroked its head, then questioned the woman with good humor. "Is he your friend?"
Anthy suddenly found again the voice that had fled her.
"Chuchu!" She scolded him without really much conviction, lost in those so familiar blue eyes that gazed intensely at her.
"Never seen you around here before, are you new in town?" Her prince inquired.
"Yes... I moved here a week ago." She managed to answer him slowly, still dazed. The man offered her his hand in a friendly greeting.
"My name is Tenjou, and you are…?"
"Anthy...you may call me Anthy." His hand enveloped her small one in a warm grip; it made involuntary shivers run through her dark skin.
Tenjou watched her, this time his countenance filled with sympathy as he looked over her white dress, wet and dirty from the puddle where they had fallen; it had rained in the morning and the streets were still wet.
"My apartment is just around the corner, come on, I'll take you there."
Then faced with the woman's deep silence, he realized his words and mentally slapped himself; immediately he raised his hands defensively, completely embarrassed.
"Gee, that sounded really wrong! I'm sorry, that's not what I meant! I know it's weird to suddenly receive an invitation like that to a guy's house right after we've met, but..." He gestured with his hands, indicating her clothes. "I feel so bad letting you go away like this. I can lend you some of my clothes to change into, if you don't mind, I promise nothing will happen!"
Women who craved an easy and fast relationship at his openness would have thrown themselves into the arms of a handsome man immediately; others would have refused right away to enter the house of a complete stranger; Anthy accepted the invitation because she had finally found her prince after ten long years of separation, because she loved and trusted him, and because she no longer understood anything at all about what was happening.
Still in daze she let him guide her to his apartment, holding one hand of hers and while with the other he cradled Chuchu against his chest as the creature refused to let go; which he thought was weird and cute at the same time.
The place was humble, sparsely furnished, but very clean and for the most part organized; it was a men's apartment for sure, no decorations, no potted plants, there were a pair of socks lying next to the living room sofa that were probably forgotten in a moment of haste; on the far side of the room a bicycle was leaning against the wall, and in the small laundry room she saw the basketball ball and pair of running shoes lying beside the half-open door. The setting reminded her so much of their old dormitory that it made her heart clench at the familiarity.
Her host disappeared into his bedroom, leaving her and Chuchu in the living room (her small friend finally released him after much coercion), and when he returned, bringing clean clothes, Anthy still stared at him without being able to understand. Everything was so different from what she'd expected, from what she'd looked for, it didn't make sense with the little evidence she'd found, with the reports she'd read from the hospital, with the clues she'd spent years using all her strength and time searching for.
In those ten years she had searched for a woman with that name, Tenjou... and only then realized that she had failed to find her love because she had discovered that her prince was a man named Tenjou.
That... that didn't make sense... it didn't make any sense at all, but she didn't have the courage to openly ask the questions that ran wildly in her head when they'd barely been reunited and obviously the man hadn't recognized her.
Oblivious of the woman's conflicting thoughts, Tenjou grinned and offered her the clothes.
"They're the smallest I could find, I don't think they'll look too bad on you, if you don't mind wearing men's clothes for a few hours. You may feel free to go and change in my bedroom or bathroom, I promise that I'm going to sit here on the couch all the time and not move until you're done."
She accepted it gratefully and changed her clothes in his bedroom while Chuchu jumped happily on the couch next to the man saying several chus to him; Tenjou didn't understand anything the creature was telling him, but he laughed amusedly; he was really cute. And when Anthy returned, a little more composed, wearing a light fabric blouse and long pants that had to be left up to her heels, she smiled at him with such affection and tenderness in her eyes that it made him a little uncomfortable.
"Thank you for saving my life, and for helping me now, Tenjou." The name sounded strange on her lips, different from what she used to say, wanted to say, but she respected the term he chose to introduce himself at the time.
Tenjou scratched his head and laughed a little embarrassed.
"It was nothing, you don't need to thank me for anything, really!"
"Still, I wish to repay your kindness." Anthy approached him, sat down on the vacant seat and took his hand in a light, gentle touch that made the man's face fill with surprise and a slight blush dress his cheeks; she noticed and her smile widened slightly, but she didn't comment on it. "Please come to my house for an afternoon tea three days from now; I won't take a refusal for an answer."
She wasn't going to walk away from him or allow him to walk away from her unconsciously, not now that she'd finally found him, even if… so different of what she'd expected.
"I don't want to bother you, really..."
"It's not a bother at all; I'm looking to meet new people and make friends and the occasion will allow me to return your clothes to you." Anthy retorted easily, and with Tenjou's blue eyes still staring at the dark hands that gently held his, slowly the man nodded with a strange sense of contentment.
"Well, if you insist... and if you're really okay with it, I can be your friend." Her prince smiled at her and his shy offer warmed her heart.
~.~
Tenjou religiously showed up at the front door of her rented house on the exact day and time set for their engagement; it was a beautiful and inviting property located a little further from the urban center, with a large courtyard and a beautiful garden full of flowers that the man soon discovered was his hostess's favorite hobby. As they sat in the living room with Chuchu sleeping on his knee like a lazy cat and she was pouring two cups of the tea she knew was her love's favorite flavor, at the same time offering him a basket full of things to eat arranged on a small table, Anthy watched him the entire time, drinking with the same eagerness as a thirsty person his familiar and dear presence so close to her once more.
His spontaneity for conversation made her take every opportunity of openness she had to ask him many of the questions she had long wanted answers for.
"My life isn't very interesting because I don't really remember much to tell..." Tenjou said apologetic from behind his teacup. "People told me that when I was around 14 years old I had a horrible accident, and the funny thing is that it really must have been so horrible that I can't even remember it... They found me sprawled out in the middle of the street in a pool of blood, who knows what happened, no one could ever tell me anything. I spent months in a coma in a hospital until I woke up and was forced to start living a new life and learning all things over again, you know? It's been ten years since then, and to this day I still can't remember a single thing about my life before I woke up in that hospital..."
And taking a sip of the colored liquid, he widened his blue eyes in pleasant surprise.
"Wow, this tea of yours is really good; the best I've ever tasted!" That made the woman with long, wave-like violet hair smile at the compliment.
"It must have been really hard for you… starting life over from scratch…" Anthy spoke quietly and thoughtfully. "And how...how have you lived all this time?"
"I've lived alone; never been able to find out whether or not I have relatives who are lost out there in the world, and I think at this point, even if I did, I must be dead to them, so I believe it doesn't matter anymore." The man shrugged. "I also couldn't go back to studying at a regular school... something inside me wasn't able to adapt, and I had to take a separate course to take the tests and finish high school. I didn't want to go to college, so I started working early to make a living. I had a lot of help from one of the doctors who took care me at the time of my accident. We are friends to this day, by the way, and it was his hand that helped me get through a lot of difficult things until today."
"I didn't realize that that incident in the street where you saved me you could be in the middle of your work, Tenjou, I hope it didn't harm you." She spoke and her prince laughed lightly and shook his head.
"No really, I was off duty, wandering around with no real direction, just throwing some time away." Tenjou grinned at her. "And you, Anthy, do you have a family?"
"I did have a brother; he passed away a few years ago."
She said simply in a sober tone and a sweet smile; she had buried him in Ohtori in the midst of his lies and dark games, to never return.
"Oh, sorry for asking." Tenjou says.
"Please, don't be."
Anthy takes a sip from her teacup.
"What do you currently work with?" She then inquired curiously.
"I do odd jobs here and there on my bike, delivering stuff you know. It's not a formal job, it's quite simple, but it helps at least; I never really got a decent job." The man replied sincerely and a little embarrassed, and Anthy then noticed her guest's shy look of curiosity roam the length of her living room.
"You may ask." The woman encouraged him warmly and her prince scratched his head a little embarrassed.
"Was I that obvious?" He inquired humorously, and then voiced the question. "There are so many different objects in your home decor, some I've only seen in movies! You look like you've traveled all over the world."
"In a way, yes." Anthy responded easily. "I've been to all continents and known many cities, many cultures, one more fascinating than the other, but all unique and beautiful in their essence. You may call it a pilgrimage, or a journey."
"Seriously! That's pretty cool!" And arching a pink brow the man continued. "But if someone is on a pilgrimage isn't because it's looking for something? If so, are you looking for something too?"
Those beautiful green eyes, deep and enigmatic, looked straight into his and Tenjou felt warmth envelop his chest, almost as if that gaze reached out to him and caressed him intimately; and he shivered involuntarily.
"It's true, but my journey is over now... I've already found what I was looking for."
"Oh, I see; I'm glad you've found it then!" The man grinned at her, oblivious to the hidden meaning of her words.
He adjusted his position on the sofa, and his sudden movement caused the little creature sleeping on his lap to wake up in surprise and jump into the food basket, spilling the entire contents onto the floor.
"Chuchu!" Anthy spoke in disapproval, but was distracted by her prince's loud, free laugh, a sound so beautiful and so missed that it echoed through the room and made her heart suddenly race inside her chest.
She looked at him, her green eyes gleaming with tenderness; even though she was aware that there were still several things he hadn't mentioned, secrets clearly hidden from her, Anthy felt happy; there, laughing and drinking tea with her love after ten years, as she hadn't felt in a long, long time. There were so many things to talk about, so many things to find out, but now they had time, all the time in the world, and if she had to, she would wait an eternity longer for her prince to trust her again and open up... and maybe, she nourished with hope, maybe he might one day remember her.
~.~
They met several times after that.
He always tended to visit her at least twice a week in between the deliveries he made; sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the late afternoon. Their friendship had blossomed again like the flowers in the garden she so carefully tended. It was such a natural and reciprocal relationship that they were drawn to each other, and her prince, always carefree and authentic, spontaneously offered her again his sincerest smiles. Anthy treasured each one of them dearly.
Their rebuilt friendship was so genuine that in a short time they were as close as they had been in the past.
They walked constantly in her garden.
Her prince was chivalrously kind and noble to her as he had been before.
They always had tea together.
Months passed.
Tenjou never remembers.
~.~
He dropped by her doorstep in the late afternoon by surprise, holding his bike in one hand, a wide grin on his lips and clothes clinging to his body, completely covered in sweat from head to toe.
He looked like he'd run a marathon.
"Sorry to show up so suddenly and unannounced, Anthy; I was passing by on the way back and decided to take the opportunity to say hi and, if you don't mind, rest a bit here for a few minutes."
She immediately ushered him inside; helped him lean his bike against the wall and Tenjou collapsed onto her couch, completely exhausted. Chuchu jumped on the man's leg, as worried as she felt, and her prince patted the little creature's head gently.
"I'm fine, I'm fine, I swear!" He laughed, answering breathlessly the clear question written on his little friend's face.
"What happened to you? Were you working?" Anthy sat in the vacant seat next to him, staring at his deplorable state.
"Yeah, I was making a delivery… just… only when I accepted it I didn't knew it would be that far…" He laughed a little awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders. "I kind of had to cycle through like three cities to get there and now again to get back; took me all day to do it; those cretins."
Her eyes filled with disbelief and Tenjou gave her a tired smile.
"It's okay, really; you don't need to worry about me! I have to earn a living, so I'm already used to it."
She made them tea while she let him rest, and by the time she was done his appearance was noticeably better and recovered. He accepted the teacup gratefully.
After a brief conversation, the violet-haired woman decided to take their friendship a step further.
"Why don't you spend the night here, Tenjou?"
Her question caught him off guard, his blue eyes widening in surprise.
"What?"
"Why don't you rest here tonight? If you're going back to your apartment now, you will have to ride another hour at least... You've worked so hard that now you can barely stand by your feet." Anthy was straight-up sincere and her prince's face slightly reddened.
"I don't think I should; and I really don't want to bother you..." He started to make the excuse; she wouldn't take any of it.
"It's no bother at all, I have a spare guest room and the clothes you lent me that day we met are still here. Besides..." Her lips then acquired an amused smile, and she chose to use his own words against him. "I can't let you go away like this, Tenjou. And don't worry, I promise you nothing will happen."
Her sly remark made him laugh heartily and acknowledging defeat, surrendering to weariness, he finally accepted the invitation willingly.
The bath and clean clothes made him recover and the smell of dinner that his friend had prepared during that time with ingredients harvested from her garden, awakened in him a voracious hunger. As they ate and talked, Anthy saw a subtle tremor run through his hands as they lay on the table; she guessed it must be a side effect of the effort he'd put in all day, and when she decided to mention it, his wristwatch suddenly started beeping, interrupting their conversation.
The pink-haired man turned it off and smiled at her apologetic.
"It's time for my medicine; I always leave the alarm on so I don't forget."
She watched him curiously as he stood, and in the living room taking from his backpack a large glass vial which he opened and poured most of its contents into his open palm. Her green eyes widened as he stuffed a massive amount of pills down his throat without hesitation, and her heart froze for an instant with fear. There were so many that in an ordinary person it could cause an overdose.
He realized her fear as soon as he returned to the kitchen and sat back on his seat.
"I think I ended up scaring you, didn't I? Sorry about that." He laughed a little, scratching his head. "I take it every day so for me it's routine. It's a consequence of my accident, the one I mentioned before. And really thinking about it now it is an obscene amount... It must be really weird, looking at it from afar..."
His hand reached out across the table and held hers gently, the man winked at her mischievously.
"It's okay, Anthy. No need to worry."
And Anthy noticed that his hand no longer trembled; it was firm and confident. She stroked his fingers, relieved.
~.~
She didn't need as much sleep as a regular person; sometimes she would spend several nights awake thinking, meditating, reading books or tending her garden. That night the woman with long violet hair couldn't sleep because, through her magic that permeated the house, she could feel her prince sleeping in the next room.
It was so tangible and real that through her power she could touch him; caress him with invisible hands, feel the softness of his short pink hair, feel his chest rise and fall with the slow, steady breathing of sleep. After so many years of searching and finally finding him, being able to enjoy his closeness to her, loving him as deeply and passionately as she had never been able to before.
And it was her undivided attention on him in the late hours of morning that she felt as his body shuddered under her invisible touch and his breath ruffled with the signs of his nightmares.
Anthy went to his room, the door was ajar and she entered it; she found him shifting under the light covers, no sound escaping his lips, but the man's handsome face was contorted in suffering.
The princess sat on the edge of the bed and one of her hands gently touched his face, caressing lovingly his soft cheek. Under her fingers a portion of magic manifested itself, passing down to him and in a short time his breathing normalized and the man's countenance calmed as the shadows slowly left his spirit in peace.
Anthy frowned, watching him with green eyes filled with worry and also sadness. What had tormented him? Were they still nightmares from that time...? Was his subconscious still capable of remembering the horrors he'd endured... because of her?
Her power made her sense his awakening and her hand left her beloved's face a few seconds before he woke up; she immediately missed the contact.
Tenjou's blue eyes, heavy with sleep, looked up at her in confusion and amazement.
"Anthy...?" He inquired in a slurred murmur.
She smiled at him kindly.
"You were having a nightmare... I came to see if you were all right."
"Damn... I woke you up, didn't I?" He wispered then, his more aware blue eyes now held an apology, and Anthy shook her head.
"I don't mind it." Then she inquired him softly. "If you want to talk about it, you can tell me."
She would like to know, her curiosity and need for answers was great; she wanted so much to help him, but was patient and left the free choice to him.
Tenjou ran a hand through his short, disveheiled pink hair and shrugged.
"It's nothing that makes much sense to me or anyone else I guess; I don't even know why I'm still having them every now and then." His gaze drifted into the distant nothingness containing sincerity. "I dream of castles, princes, princesses and sword duels; I don't understand anything of what it means, but I also don't know why it bothers me so much. I think it must be a broken fragment of my past... maybe I have believed too much in fairy tales when I was a kid and at some point it ended up letting me down. Silly, don't you think?"
The dim light of the room hid from him the deep shock that filled the woman's green eyes; nor did he notice her fingers tightly gripping the sheets next to him. It was with great difficulty that Anthy held her composure, but her voice subtly trembled as she finally managed to say something.
"I don't think it's silly, Tenjou... But if there's anything... anything at all that I can do to help you... Please... don't hesitate to let me know..."
Tenjou grinned at her in the dark and confessed.
"Your friendship is already the most important gift you've given me, Anthy. I'm so grateful for that! You're one of the rare people who in all these years really cared about me."
Himemiya... after all this time you still don't know... how happy I was just being with you...
It made her heart ache; it hurted so much... and in the dark the woman closed her eyes and her prince didn't notice the tears that slid down her face, cold and silent.
~.~
There was no bread for breakfast and they decided to quickly stop at the market near her house to buy it. It was a nice small walk, until they went to the cashier. Tenjou insisted to pay for it and Anthy let him; the clerk saw her pass and smiled at her kindly, then the violet-haired woman noticed with surprise the man's attention shift to her prince and his countenance changed; his eyes flashed with barely contained fury and open hostility.
Indifferent to this Tenjou paid for their groceries, took the bag and they left the market, walking at a slow pace back to her house.
Anthy questioned him directly with curiosity and mild concern.
"Why did that clerk look at you like that?"
"Oh?"
The man with short pink hair looked down at her, seemed surprised by the question. Then he grinned and shrugged. It was hot and he took off his jacket and threw it over his shoulder; it was such a familiar gesture that it made her heart warm at the sight.
"I don't know; I've never seen him before." Tenjou replied sincerely and there wasn't the slightest bit of bother in his voice.
The woman frowned.
"You talk in a way like you've already expected this kind of reaction..."
"It's something I've always had with me, Anthy, I can't explain it. I just don't get along with most people." He replied simply. "I'm like an inverted magnet, pushing others away. You're one of the rare exceptions that seems to enjoy being around me."
"I love being around you." She immediately said to her prince, sincerely, and saw his beautiful blue eyes partially widen with her spontaneity.
"Well... I really appreciate it." The profound honesty in his answer touched her.
Anthy closed her eyes for a moment, composing herself, and her green eyes returned to gaze at his face with infinite kindness.
"You are a wonderful person, Tenjou. I don't understand why others can't see that..."
It was different from their past, so very different... her prince was adored wherever he went, always surrounded by people who wanted to be close to him... why was this happening now?
Tenjou just shrugged, not really giving it any real importance.
"I think maybe it's part of human nature to not like what's different and to hate what they can't understand."
The small, subtle edge of darkness in his tone caught her off guard and Anthy was suddenly drawn into her memories of Ohtori, when she had been the Rose Bride, passing through the halls of her vast prison and everyone she met in her path stared at her with hundreds of hatred, hostility and contempt.
It made an icy shiver run through her body.
Ignorant of the weight his words held, Tenjou looked back at her, his blue eyes held a faint glint of concern.
"Are you okay, Anthy?"
She could only nod in daze in response.
~.~
She only become fully aware of the hidden dark meaning of her prince's words when, for the first time in all these months together, Tenjou went a day without taking his medicine.
They were walking around town in the late afternoon, they had just left the cinema and sharing an umbrella, she had her arm linked through his and was enjoying their closeness as they approached the bus stop. That's when the thief appeared, grabbed her bag and fled, disappearing through the crowd faster than the eye could follow.
Before the violet-haired woman thought of anything, her love, like the noble prince that he was, had already run after the miscreant, jumping over cars and people, his athletic body easily enabled him to catch up with the boy. Tenjou grabbed the bag and the thief tried to pull it out; the handle tore and part of the contents fell to the wet floor. Startled, the boy immediately dropped his hunt and ran away, and when Anthy finally caught up with him a few minutes later, she found the man with short pink hair kneeling in the rain, holding the broken glass vial with trembling hands as the water disintegrated all the pills inside.
The deep horror in his beautiful blue irises chocked her; never before had she seen such a frightened look dress her beloved's countenance.
"No, no, no, no, no!" Tenjou babbled several times, many times, his fingers sinking into the completely ruined watery dust.
"Tenjou!" The violet-haired woman knelt beside him, ignoring her ruined purse; her hands gripped his shoulders, worried. "Tenjou! Are you okay?"
"My meds... I can't do without my meds! I can't... I can't..."
His voice was thick with panic, filled with fear and despair so great it hurt her to see him like that. Anthy then broke another part of the distance barrier that still existed between them and touched his face; her fingers caressed his cheek tenderly and made him to look at her, locking his blue eyes in her green ones.
"Calm down, dear... it's okay..."
"You...you don't...understand, Anthy..." Tenjou stared back at her without really seeing her. "I...I can't...can't be without them...bad things are going to happen...don't want to...don't want to hurt you...no...no..."
She frowned, not understanding completely, but her hand still on his face was firm and gentle.
"Tomorrow early in the morning I promise we'll buy you more medicine, Tenjou. It's okay, you'll be fine..." Her soft, kind voice slowly brought him back to the present and his attention completely focused on her once more.
The violet-haired woman made him drop the broken vial and with the help of her magic Anthy managed to lift them both to their feet; she took control of the situation and guided the man, numb and barely responsive to her touch, onto the bus, and all the way back she watched with worried green eyes him curl up in the seat beside her, muttering nonsense.
When they finally arrived at her house, both of them completely soaked from head to toe, she dragged him to the living room and the man collapsed on the couch completely listless as soon as she let go of his arm. Her magic worked discreetly on her, drying her clothes, and his unfocused and detached gaze, completely out of reality, made him not even realize it.
She took clean, warm clothes that belonged to him and were still in her guest room from the last time he had spent the night, and approaching her beloved, she called out to him several times, without getting an answer. Chuchu stood on the armband of the couch, also clearly worried.
With his unresponsiveness, she would have to help him change his wet clothes or he would catch a severe cold. When her hand touched his chest and pulled at his shirt, his blue eyes focused on her face, fast and sharp, completely lucid and very, very scared.
His reaction was immediate.
Tenjou jumped off the couch and quickly backed away from her several steps as if the woman's touch had burned him, and Anthy watched him with wide eyes, confused and also a little hurt.
"What... what are you doing...?" The man inquired, blinking several times, stunned.
"I want to help you..." Anthy replied slowly; she indicated with her hands the pile of clean clothes lying on the small side table. "You need to change, Tenjou, you can't keep soaked like this or you might catch a bad cold."
He watched her, for the first time since the incident with the thief, fully conscious, and she frowned.
Why was he reacting like that? Something told her that this was something different... something that had nothing to do with his fear of not taking his medicine.
The man stared at the clothes indifferently, then quickly grabbed them and without saying any word he went straight the bathroom; she heard him lock the door.
Chuchu stood on the couch without understanding anything, and Anthy stared at the spot where Tenjou had been thinking what she had done wrong.
Her hands touched his face earlier and her prince had unconsciously leaned against her touch; now her palm had laid down on his smooth chest and threatened to pull off his shirt, and he had abruptly pulled away from her with all his guard up. It was only then that she began to consider further, thinking again about that possibility that sometimes had crossed her mind... explaining why her prince was now so different from the person she had initially sought out, why the old hospital reports she still kept hidden in her bedroom desk told one thing while she had found another.
Tenjou took a while to get out of the bathroom; when he did, wearing the dry clothes, he was back into that semi-alert, semi-apathetic state.
She took him to the kitchen and he automatically sat down in the chair by the table while she made him a soothing tea. All the while she gave him worried glances.
"Anthy..."
His voice called to her a little louder than a whisper and she immediately stopped what she was doing to fully look at him. The pink-haired man blinked, his blue eyes straying as he struggled to pay attention to her face.
"Anthy I... I need to... I need to tell you something..." He spoke slowly, with difficulty. His hands lying on the table were trembling subtly and she realized it; she sat on the chair across from him as the tea brewed and her firm, warm hands encircled his cold ones gently.
"Are you okay, dear?" The violet-haired woman questioned softly and he shook his head.
"I didn't tell you everything…about the hospital…about my accident…" Tenjou told her. "Look... I... after I woke up... I wasn't well... in my head... I don't remember anything, but I'm sure that... something happened to me, and I... ... right when I woke up... I had violent crises that... I don't even know how to explain this to you... they are bad... they are really bad... they made me hurt people... they hurt me too. The medicine to stop them... every day I need to take it, always, without stopping, for my whole life... so I won't hurt somebody anymore..."
His pained gaze met hers deeply surprised.
"I didn't... tell you because... because I didn't want you to think I'm crazy... I'm not crazy... but I can't control it... when it starts, I can't control it... Anthy..." His hands clasped hers tightly, desperately. "Please... I don't want to hurt you... I don't want to hurt you..."
Anthy's mouth was open, completely speechless. The silence in her kitchen was suddenly broken by the alarm on the man's wristwatch. It beeped and beeped and beeped, and within seconds of his confession her prince was shaking so violently across the table that it was startling her.
"Tenjou, you know I cherish our friendship so much, I would never think you are crazy or below the wonderful and kind person you are..." The woman replied in a gentle voice, laced with concern, and her words seemed to pass through her beloved's ears without really being absorbed by him.
Minutes passed, and she watched the man shiver violently, their tea going cold and completely forgotten. The night had advanced so fast that the kitchen had darkened and she had forgotten to turn on the light; she forgot everything else too, she only had eyes for him as big alarm rang insistently inside her, announcing that something was approaching, something her intuition claimed she somehow knew, and it was so violent and bad as his words described it, filling her with deep fear.
Anthy called his name, called and called and he didn't answer, his head lowered, hiding his face and the woman stood up. She grabbed his shoulders, called out to him again with worry and urgency.
Then suddenly his head snapped up and the man stood abruptly; he pushed the woman away, hard, and Anthy slammed against the kitchen sink and partially bent over it in shock, unresponsive. Chuchu fled the place in fear, and Tenjou grabbed the table, his fingers dug into the wood, he lifted the furniture easily as if he was doing it with a feather, and threw it across the room with violence, crashing it on the wall with a loud bang, falling destroyed to the floor.
He grabbed his head, his hands buried in his short pink hair, he flinched and groaned, and his princess watched him, not knowing what to do. Her feet automatically threw her forward, she tried to approach him, her trembling voice calling him again, and then the unstoppable storm that was her beloved turned utterly against her.
Tenjou advanced, fast and relentless, grabbed the woman by her arms and pressed her against the wall, her head and back hitting the smooth, cold surface hard. His hands held her so roughly they bruised her skin, nails digging in so deep that they drew blood, but Anthy didn't even registered it; she couldn't take her attention from his face, shocked, deeply horrified.
Tenjou's eyes were completely silver, his irises glistening even in semi-darkness as hundreds of sparks constantly exploding non-stop, like stars that died shortly after being born. There was hatred in his gaze, so violent and deep it took hold of every cell of his being; hatred directed at her; hatred directed at the world; a hatred so ancient and perverse that it belonged to a time far, far away, a time before human history.
And only then did Anthy realize the real sacrifice her prince had made to give her her freedom.
The hundreds swords of hate that for many millennia she had endured in silence now existed within her love, constantly tearing and wounding his soul in a torment that would never end... not now, when in that final duel called revolution he had taken over of his own choice, out of love, the burden of the hatred, greed, selfishness and contempt of humanity upon his shoulders.
Unconsciously the tears streamed down her face, plentiful and silent, and her green eyes gleamed with the weight of understanding, filled with a pain and suffering as intense and ancient as the world itself. It made something broke violently inside the man, and in his irises amidst the feral silver, flashes of azure blue sprang and mixed in that deep ocean of his eyes. In them Anthy saw the glint of semi-consciousness, enough to for him to abruptly let go of her arms and take several steps back.
"Stay away from me!" Tenjou screamed, shaking from head to toe, restraining himself with all the strength of his being.
The force of hatred of the hundreds swords struck back cruelly; unable to unleash their fury on his princess or the world, they turned on him and mercilessly lashed out against their wielder.
He dropped to his knees in the center of the room; the inhuman howl that escaped his throat, coming from the depths of his being, was frightening and terrible, so terrible that it shocked the woman down to the core. He fell completely, his body crashing against the cold floor, shivering violetly, his hands roaming his chest, fingers curled like claws crawled the fabric of his shirt, over and over, always screaming.
It was an intense and absurd pain, spreading inside him everywhere; it seemed to pierce his very soul, cutting it, tearing him apart, spearing him a million times in a suffering that seemed to have no end.
Involuntary tears streamed down the man's face; he hated the world and he hated himself; he hated having to go through that again, having to feel that unbearable agony again, ripping all rational, conscious thought out of him, reducing him to just pain, nothing but pain.
He screams, begging for his torment to stop, but he was lying abandoned in the darkness where nothing seemed to be able to reach him; then suddenly a soft light enveloped his being and gently one by one it was pushing the swords away, holding them back, imprisoning them again in a deep corner inside him.
Anthy let her magic run through every inch of his body, caressing him, helping him to withstand the onslaught as she had often needed to do for herself in the past; and as she did it, kneeling in the middle of the kitchen, the princess cradled her broken prince in her arms against her chest as she bitterly cried on his shoulder, cried so hard that his suffering made her feel the weight of each one of the years that shaped her very existence.
~.~
Hours later, lying in the guest room, exhausted and broken, Tenjou struggled and managed to half-open his eyes; his now completely sky blue irises gazed at the woman sitting beside him on the edge of the bed, her hands gripping his in a gentle, strong grip. His entire body ached, it hurt a lot, but now it was a bearable sensation that allowed him to regain his awareness of himself and the scenery around him.
Even in a lethargic, semi-conscious state, Tenjou understood that somehow Anthy was helping him; he could see a soft purplish etherial light enveloping her like a magical being, like he'd never seen her before.
She looked different, as if she were from another world; she was even more beautiful, her wave-like violet hair longer, falling in a wide, voluminous cascade like a cloak; her green eyes gazed down at him tenderly, but they looked old and wise, seemed to contain the knowledge of the whole world and the knowledge of him, her gaze penetrating into him as no one had ever dared to do, and seeming to understand exactly what was happening to him.
"How... how can you... do this... magic...?" the man asked in a thin, rasping whisper, his voice hurt from yelling, and Anthy smiled at him sadly.
"I just can... this is part of me... it's who I am... now you know one of my biggest secrets." She answered him, and caressing his hand. She called to him softly. "Tenjou... I know about the swords... I know how hard it's been for you to bear them all these years, but I'm here with you now, dear... you don't have to carry this burden alone anymore. Please, let me help you..."
She didn't have the power to reverse what had happened in the last duel, to pull out the hundreds swords of hate that now reside within him, not after they had finally struck the prince they'd longed to reach for so many centuries, but she had the strength to lessen their influence on him and help him to strengthen himself to the point where one day they will no longer be able to hurt him or make him suffer.
Her love for him gave her the power to put back together and heal his broken and fractured soul.
Tenjou looked at her, his severely weakened state had robbed him all of his strength and he couldn't say a single word, but his eyes gleamed with deep emotion and tears, so open and sincere that Anthy understood him without a word needing to be said.
A dark hand lay on his chest over his shirt, making no move to remove the garment partially torn by the painful tugs he'd made. He felt that etherial light spread over him, warming his chest and causing the pain he still felt to diminish until it was just a slight uncomfortable sensation; her other hand buried itself in his short pink hair, stroking his head gently, and her prince sighed softly, feeling for the first time in many, many years light as her touch cradled him, surrendering him to merciful sleep.
~.~
They started doing that almost every day, whenever he came to visit her or spent the night at her house. They would sit on the couch in the living room or on the benches in the garden outside, and Anthy would place her hands on his chest, and Tenjou would feel that same warm, pleasant feeling spread through him; he closed his eyes, letting himself be carried away by it.
He didn't know how long the sessions took; half an hour, an hour? He didn't care, nor did he notice time passing when they were together. It felt so good that it made him feel refreshed, strong, as if he were truly recovering from the accident he had had in the past rather than just trying to ease the damage it had done to him, and as the days went on he began to lessen the amount of medicine until he finally stopped taking it altogether.
Anthy always felt very tired for the rest of the day whenever she did it; although her magic worked in that world, to be able to summon it required more effort from her, but for the result she got... she didn't care; seeing her prince clearly better with each passing day was much more worth it.
Even though they weren't doing anything much, Tenjou felt that soft, gentle touch as something intimate, that literally seemed to reach out and caress his very soul. It not only made his heart heal over time, but also woke inside a new feeling as he had never felt for anyone else before.
And when in that late afternoon he felt her delicate hands finally pull away from him and the man opened his eyes, their gazes met, lost in each other deeply, passionately... and suddenly becoming very aware of himself Tenjou stood up abruptly from the couch and took a few steps back from the woman, who watched him with a knowing look in her green eyes.
"Please, don't do this..." Anthy asked her prince gently, also standing to her feet. She inquired softly but directly. "Why do you drift away from me, dear, if when you look into my eyes you find the same feeling you feel for me reflected back to you?"
Tenjou looked back at her with pained blue eyes.
"I'm sorry Anthy, I... I shouldn't be feeling this way... I don't want to ruin our friendship, I... you... we can't do this. You can't love me..."
"But I do love you, and that's something I've never denied to myself." Anthy confessed easily, as easy as breathing was; her green eyes so true and sincere that it made him look away in shame.
She watched her prince frown and shake his head, eyes glaring anywhere in the room but at her.
"You don't know what you say... you don't know what I did... if you look at me, I can't hide it in a relationship like that; it's impossible... If you see me, you'll hate me, will hate me like the world does, like everyone else does..."
"I am not the world and neither everyone else." Anthy retorted firmly, leaving no room for duality; her voice then returned to being kind, asking affectionately. "I know you haven't revealed everything about yourself to me yet... there is one last very important thing that you hold with you as something very precious. Dear, I've been by your side all this time, holding your hand, and we've been through so many things together already... don't you trust me?"
"I…I trust you more than anyone else, more than I trust myself." Tenjou replied, his voice breaking slightly.
"Then trust that the love I have for you is more solid than any secret or truth that may still exist between us."
Tenjou watched her for a long time in silence, and Anthy watched him lovingly back, patiently waiting for when he felt himself ready. And it was because of the love he felt for her that he acquiesced and risked everything they had built together.
And with red cheeks, burning with embarrassment, for the first time in all the months they had known each other, her prince looked away and without having the courage to gaze directly at her, his trembling and fearful hands undid the buttons of the shirt he wore and discarded the garment on the floor between them.
He revealed his bare chest to her, and Anthy couldn't hold back the soft gasp that escaped her lips as her hand covered her face and her green eyes widened.
It wasn't the scars from the various surgeries he'd had made at some point over those ten years to change his body that had caused such a reaction in her. No... because knowing that he was friends with a doctor, she had come to that conclusion by herself and understood what he had done a long time ago, easily accepting it. It was actually a smaller, lone scar, apparent on the pale skin of his abdomen that made a series of bitter memories flash through her mind, the result of a cruel action on her part that she would forever regret.
Her prince, however, immediately misinterpreted her reaction and so absorbed had she been in her memories that Anthy realized late that she had let her astonishment show on her face. He turned away from her embarrassed, deeply sad and bitter.
"I... I knew... I knew that... that this would happen... You must be disgusted with me..." The man with short pink hair forced himself to say neutrally, but his voice slipped at the end. He was struggling to maintain his composure and what little dignity he had left. "I... This is the truth about me... I did it, because this is me... It's how I feel, it's who I really am... I've lived all this time, I'm used to the hate, to the prejudice of others, and I understood that no matter what I do, I don't have the power to change people... but I realized one day that I had the power to change myself, and that I didn't care anymore about what others thought of me, as long as I could be happy with myself. This... this is me."
He closed his eyes, straining against the tears that tried to escape; it was his deepest secret, as intimate and earth-shattering as that of the swords... He knew he loved this woman more than anything, with all his heart, but how could he be loved back if he was insincere? How could he give himself completely while living out of fear... fear of rejection, fear of losing her... fear that his condition had condemned him to a life that was never complete... fear of loving her... fear of being loved back.
Anthy's green eyes gleamed with such love and understanding, her heart overflowing with the strength of her feeling for him that her voice called to him in a warm caress, saying the word that had long been held back on her lips, now soaring completely free.
"Oh, Utena..."
That made her prince's head snap towards her, and for a moment he forgot anything else; his wide-open blue eyes stared at her completely filled with deep surprise.
"It's... been a long time... since someone called me that..." He stuttered, now totally caught in her gaze that invaded him, embraced him and loved him so hard it made his legs feel weak. It was such a familiar and powerful look that it made him realize in his heart that moment that Anthy was someone more, much, much more important in his life than he had initially believed. "I've never told you that name before... You... We met that day... it wasn't by chance, was it...? You're someone from my past... From my life before my accident."
Her green eyes, so open and sincere, revealed the truth to him even though she still hadn't said a word.
"I wandered for a long time in this world on a long and tireless journey, searching for the love that I had lost ten years ago... When you came and saved me, I knew for sure it was you. Even different, even if you didn't remember me , you were still the same person I once fell in love with, my handsome prince in shining armor..."
Anthy approached him slowly, a tender smile on her lips, and he followed her with wide eyes.
She stopped in front of him, one of her dark hands came to rest on his chest, delicate and warm and so, so soft, and she caressed him, her fingers gliding over his pale uncovered skin, and Tenjou felt a surge of electricity run through his body.
"I always knew, my love... I was just waiting for the moment when you would be ready to share your secrets with me, and also to hear me... to share mine with you..." Anthy's gaze softened with a flicker of remorse, and her hand paused over the small scar on his abdomen. "Utena... it was my fault that you got this, that you suffered so much, that you lost your memories... That accident happened because you... you never gave up on me, no matter how far I had gone. ..how lost I was... you did it to save me... and you saved me so many times..."
Her voice broke at the end as tears welled up and slid down her face, abundant and endless; her green eyes met his blue ones.
"I love you... I always loved you and I always will... I couldn't tell you this before, but now that I can, I want you to know that I love you... I love you so much, I love you as you are now, I love you for being who you are, for making me smile, for making me feel alive and free. I love you, Utena... My beloved Utena..."
She called him that name again that was so special to her, even though he hadn't told her before, and caressing his face with both hands, she asked, a little shyly.
"Utena... Can I call you that?... It was how... That's what I used to call you before..."
"I don't mind..." He said, his voice weak, choked by the tears that were also involuntary running down his face. "If all this happened to save you... and it's you who's calling me that... I don't mind it at all..."
The smile she gave him was so beautiful amidst the tears in her eyes that shone with pure joy, it made him raise his arms and enfold her in his strong embrace. Anthy snuggled against his warm, bare chest, so close, so happy, so fulfilled by his presence, his warmth... and when she lifted her face to look up at him, his lips found hers, and Utena, her love, her prince, her beloved Utena kissed her deeply, passionately and thirsty, the woman responded ardently and lost herself in the overwhelming love she felt for him.
~.~
That was the first night they slept together.
They collapsed onto her bed in each other's arms, bodies joined and entwined; lips that sought each other with eagerness, colliding with desire and love. Their clothes were lying forgotten somewhere on the bedroom floor, they didn't care. Utena plunged into her embrace and Anthy ran her hands down his back, sliding up and down, fingers sinking into his short pink hair and squeezing him against her body; his strong arms encircled her waist, holding her, leaving her at the mercy of his will from which she threw herself without second thoughts.
She loved all of him, loved him with all her strength, with all her being, and felt his touch envelop her and take her with passion, his body shuddering in her arms and surrendering to her with the same intensity.
They surrendered to each other, tired, happy, fulfilled, and Utena's blue eyes looked down at her and plunged into the depths of her greens, so intense and passionate and filled with joy that Anthy cradled his face in hers hands,, gently caressing his cheeks. She smiled when she heard him whisper he loved her and brought him down to seal her lips to his once again.
~.~
Utena moved into her house permanently shortly afterwards; they bought it together after he sold his apartment. His complete recovery and control of the swords that still existed inside him made him face the world with unwavering strength and those gazes filled with hostility lessened more and more until he become just another common person like everyone else, capable of give happiness and recieve it in return. He soon for the first time got a real decent job and time passed in a mixture of bliss and joy.
Despite real life being very different from a fairy tale, Anthy didn't mind it; in that new world they were not prince and princess, but she loved the titles they received just the same, affectionately now wearing their fingers with love.
Husband and wife… it echoed in her mind, as the woman stroked his hand tenderly, staring at their wedding rings as they enjoyed the pleasant afternoon.
Lying in their sunlit garden, their small private paradise, the couple were partially embracing on the very green grass; she content to rest her head on his lap as he watches with amusement Chuchu try to catch a flying butterfly not far from where they were.
Anthy closed her eyelids, feeling the warm touch of the sun caress her face; she couldn't tell how much time had passed, but suddenly she felt drops of water fall against her cheeks and that made her open her eyes again.
The woman's gazed at her love in surprise; Utena looked down at her, clear sky blue eyes widen in wonder, tears silently sliding down his pale cheeks and dripping onto her.
"Dear, what is it?" Anthy queried her husband in mild concern, her hand reached up to caress his face, and Utena shook his head, letting out a slight embarrassed laugh.
"Nothing... it's just that... I'm very happy..." He smiled at his wife. "I never thanked you... for not giving up on me back there, looking for me for ten years... for finding me, and being with me here now. For loving me as much as I love you."
"And it's not even necessary." Anthy replied softly with a smile, seeing him lean his head into her touch. "I would have done it all over again for you, without hesitation."
Utena nodded slightly and then he whispered to her, his voice trembling subtly.
"There's something I wanted to ask you..."
"Ask me anything and I'll do it." Anthy told him gently, and his sky blue eyes looked at her intensely, full of meaning and deep emotion.
"Would you… could you make me that tea of yours so delicious you know it's my favorite… Himemiya?"
Utena asked her, speaking softly the name that his wife hadn't revealed to him at any time since they had been reunited, his fingers caressing her face fondly, and he saw her beautiful green eyes widen in deep surprise; then they filled with recognition and understanding, and Anthy smiled lovingly at him as tears of joy slid down her face.
It wasn't a fairy tale, it was true, but even so, together they managed to get as close as they could to their happily ever after.
