Title: Young Gods
Summary: Helaena Targaryen and Jacaerys Velaryon are to be wed.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything
When Helaena Targaryen dreamed, she only saw fire.
In every single one of her dreams, it always came down to it.
Fire
Burning, destructive, merciless.
It consumed everything and everyone around it before it took the throne.
The iron throne
The symbol of strength and victory forged from the thousand of swords surrendered to Aegon the Conqueror by the lords who offered their featly. So large, powerful, and unbreakable. The throne, that cut her father and worsen his illness. The throne her grandfather the hand often sat on looked all important and mighty. It burned just as anything else would.
The great iron throne was the most important seat in all the seven kingdoms, and yet it burned and melted into Helaena's dreams until there was nothing but ash left.
Nothing…
…ash.
Helaena woke up with a start, as she did every night ever since she could remember earning an unpleased look from her mother before it shifted to something more comforting and she got up to fetch her daughter a cup of water, 'We're almost there, dear. Not much longer.'
I wish they would have let me to fly Dreamfyre there.
The girl, soon a woman, nodded and accepted the cup with shaking hands still feeling the aftermath of her nightmare crawling within her skin wishing to wash it away, 'I would like a bath.'
'You will receive it once you're settled into your chambers-'
'But I need-'
'Helaena,' her mother sighed the way she usually did around her as if she was down to her strength. She always sighed like this with her. With Aegon, she sighed in fury over his actions, most of them haunting Helaena during the day, and with Aemond she sighed in a mixture of something wishful and regretful. All she had for Helaena was the exhausted sighs she never knew what to do with.
Helaena took another sip of her water. The feeling of sweat across her skin forced her fist to clench and her fingers to dig into the skin deep enough to break it.
Another exhausted sigh from her mother, 'Don't do that. You'll break the skin. You need to look your best self tomorrow, Helaena. You know this.'
The girl nodded, but she couldn't bring herself to release her hand until a moment later setting the cup away and crawling back under the covers.
Tomorrow
Soon
Fire
Her nightmares, always with her, were almost comforting at times. It was an instant, she grew quite familiar with. The unknown that would bring tomorrow wasn't, and Helaena's chest tightened in dread and anticipation.
Please, Gods, don't let me do something for him to hate me more.
The moment her feet land on the gloomy beach, she felt the familiar fog taking her over as it had countless of times again.
She heard noises. Metal hitting metal and a dragon throwing fire melting the metal. All the while men, and builders, groaned in pain and exhaustion and a woman screamed ever so weakly.
'Her sacrifice secured the nest to withhold,' she mumbled quietly waiting for the fog to fade and her daydream to disappear.
Her purple eyes lifted, and she caught her father's looks before he offered her a small smile. He was still so ill, but it seemed, he was higher in spirits over the upcoming celebration.
He took a step closer to her and gently patted her on her shoulder. She forced her body to stay frozen despite his touch. Over time some touches, mainly those she could predict, became more acceptable than others, but Helaena would still rather avoid them if she could for the sake of her own skin.
'Quite mystical is it not, my dear?' he asked in a kind tone, he always used on her if he ever bothered to pay her attention.
Helaena didn't blame him. She could almost taste the cold and disgusting illness inside her mouth from having him this close to her, but she only offered him a small nod and hopefully a smile before she felt her mother's eyes on her.
She didn't believe her.
Helaena knew she didn't.
It happened while she was in the library where she spent most of her time hiding behind the shelves knowing the guards and maids were near, but they wouldn't bother her as they often found her strange. Their pitiful or confused looks didn't bother the princess either, but she preferred solitude as being near a maid could cause Aegon to notice her which was never a good thing. She also preferred it because it was easier to be on her own. Just her and her bugs as everyone always said in annoyance or mockery. She didn't mind. She would like it if she could spend her days studying them and learning new things about them, but it seemed Gods had other plans.
Her daydream came as she was studying the body of a cockroach, she found herself slowly walking through one of the maps on the wall.
Fire and blood. The house of Targaryen. Ash.
The fog settled inside her mind, and her mouth opened before she could stop herself, her soft voice saying, 'The Prince that was promised will end the fire and blood. Only a strong house can withhold.'
The fog slowly faded, and her mind cleared once again, but something was different.
She turned around and found her father, the king, looking at her as if he saw her for the first time and since Helaena couldn't recall ever seeing her father look at her directly or for so long, he might as well have.
He wobbled toward her snatching her shoulders in the way she hated causing her to flinch, 'Helaena, Helaena, what…what did you see?'
She swallowed trying to break free. She despised people touching her so abruptly and firmly. Aegon sometimes did when he was feeling cruel, and Aemond when he wanted to be caring. She did not enjoy either of those touches, and she certainly did not enjoy this one.
Her dreams never made much sense to anyone, and her mother often begged her not to speak of them always looking especially exhausted when she had, but her father was now more than desperate to hear and so she told him watching the shift in his face and finally earning a moment to break free and take a step away from him, her skin was crawling with the unpleasant feeling.
'I must make arrangements,' spoke the king and started to walk in far better shape than he had before out of the library, 'Helaena, do not speak of this until it's done, please. Promise me.'
Her father never asked her to promise anything. He never asked anything from her, and if he could, he rarely spoke to her unless it was her name day.
Her mother had come the same evening into her chamber and demanded to know if she spoke with father and what did she saw. Her grip was even sharper than her father's firm, and Helaena felt her fingers were dragon claws digging into her skin, 'DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!'
Helaena continued to struggle the feeling of her mother's hand touching her unbearable, 'Mother, please-'
'He wants to marry you off to Jacaerys!' she snapped at her and pushed her away as if it wasn't her mother who was keeping her close.
Helaena's skin burned from the unwanted touch, and she dug her fingers into her palms as hard as she could to control the feeling, 'I need to bath-'
'You need to tell me what did you do! What did you say to your father?! D-do you understand what this will mean? Do you understand that the whole realm will know you married a…a…,' her mother's voice quieted down, and the look of exhaustion, Helaena knew so well, settled over her face before she turned around, 'You have ruined everything.'
Helaena released her palms and found wounds from her nails digging so hard into her skin.
Her purple eyes watched them for a while before she went to call her maid to arrange a bath for her. While she waited, she tried to recall Jacaerys Velaryon from the times, he and his family were still in King's Landing. Like everyone else, who never or rarely spoke to her, he was in the shadows, a boy with dark hair. She couldn't recall the color of his eyes or the sound of his voice, but he seemed to have been friends with Aegon growing up, and that forced the princess to shiver and an unsettling feeling to take over her chest before the maid told her the bath was ready.
She could only hope unlike her brother, her future husband outgrown such cruelties.
They were greeted with respect and in a polite manner, but as always Helaena felt strange cold from her mother, her step-sister, and others.
'Welcome to Dragonstone, Princess,' said Jacaerys, who she only recognized because of some comments her mother made. He was five and ten now, three years younger than her, but a head taller with wide shoulders and Helaena was left with a phantom feeling that he would grow taller still faintly remember the knight of King's Guard he must have looked very much like now.
She offered him a nod, 'Thank you for having us.'
He chuckled and looked as if he was meant to say something else, but Aegon pushed passed her and whispered something into his ear. No doubt a joke cruel and about her. She turned around and went to her mother's side hearing a shoving sound behind her, but she didn't look at her betrothed again.
Her mother seemed to approve of her ignorance toward the prince and kept her by her side until she ordered her into her chambers. During her time still, outside, she noticed Jacaerys watched her at times. She still didn't see the color of his eyes properly, but she didn't even bother to look too much as Aegon or Aemond seemed to follow her gazes. Neither of them made her feel too comfortable.
She was settled in her chambers and her mother ordered her to remain there and not speak to anyone.
Helaena didn't mind the solitude. She lived in it all her life. She would find a spider or her notes on her bugs to occupy her time with if she was bored. She preferred it in such a way.
Although perhaps, it wouldn't be the worse to meet with her betrothed and see for herself if he had changed much from the little boy, she recalled chasing after her older brother. But it couldn't be helped.
Someone knocked on the door not long before the supper, and she paused her notes to look at her maid, who hurried to answer. She didn't bother to go see for herself, but she did wait and listen as her maid tried to explain to someone that the Queen forbade anyone to disturb the princess.
When the door finally closed, she came back with a small wooden box and set it beside Helaena on the table, 'From Prince Jacaerys.'
Helaena took the box, 'He advised you to open it carefully.'
She lifted the cover as slowly as she could a small smile pushing its way across her face as she saw its content. It was a red mixture of golden dragonflies.
She hadn't seen Jacaerys or anyone apart from her mother until her wedding day. She dressed herself and gritted her teeth when her mother placed the jewelry on her even if she knew how much it made Helaena want to jump out of her skin. She felt like there was something under her skin at all times which only added to her nervosity.
'Princess,' whispered Jacaerys, and she offered him a nod and somewhat of a smile brushing against her necklace and trying not to at the same time, 'What's the matter?'
'Nothing, please don't bother yourself with me,' she whispered when no one would hear hoping no one would notice or her mother would scold her afterward.
The dark-haired boy almost a man frowned, and she cursed herself for once again saying the wrong thing only to find him reach out, 'I can put it off you if you wish.'
Helaena glanced at her mother from the corner of her eyes, 'The Queen wouldn't approve.'
'The Queen is hardly the authority on uncomfortable jewelry,' he said and grinned at her with some spark behind his eyes. Brown. Dark brown. His eyes were brown and far kinder than she would think they would be, 'Take it off, Princess.'
She swallowed upon his words and almost immediately reached for the necklace pulling it off her neck and into his hand that then hid the item in a small pocket, 'Better?'
'Yes, thank you,' she told him gratefully. Somehow it felt beyond easy to take his gloved hand in front of the Septon a moment later and even easier to look her mother in the eye knowing she couldn't chaste her for the necklace now.
Hours later the music and drunken laughter and voices were louder than Helaena would have liked them to be. They echoed through the large hall as everyone wished to celebrate the young couple.
Her stomach didn't allow the poor princess a single bite even if she kept her eyes over her plate.
It was all a quick affair. She barely had a moment to think or breathe. Her mother smiled and spoke politely, but her face wasn't kind and her father laughed loudly, but his pain and exhaustion over his illness were obvious as well. He kept on shifting his eyes at her as if he was waiting for her to reveal a secret, so she rather looked at her plate.
Her daydreams didn't work like that.
Aegon made a couple of improper comments before Aemond hushed him and his attention was diverted to some young lady, the daughter of a Lord, Helaena never learned the name of.
'Are you not hungry?' came a voice from her side, and her eyes shifted toward the direction only to be met with a pair of dark brown ones.
Those strong boys look every bit like their father, she recalled Aemond saying in a low hiss to her when they came to greet them at the shore. He said it quietly, but his venom was great and deadly. She knew there was bad blood between them, and no matter the kind and polite words Jacaerys or his mother spoke in their toasts, Aemond's heart carried fire and hatred that would never be subdued by words.
Jacaerys's eyes seemed kind when they looked at her in such a way, but she couldn't help herself and glanced to the side focusing on the tips of his dark hair, 'You don't seem to be enjoying yourself very much.'
'I'm frightened,' she confessed. She often spoke of things she shouldn't have, and the situation was leaving her properly enough for those instincts to push against the lessons her mother and Septa's taught her.
Even if she wasn't looking at him directly, she saw him blink and flinch a bit or perhaps do something else before glancing away himself and then asking, 'I…I'm sorry you feel that way, but I can assure you, Princess, I promise not to hurt you.'
She took a deep breath and forced her eyes to look back into his. He didn't look like any of her brothers. His gaze didn't make her feel anything, their looks had.
She didn't feel comfort take over, but she also didn't feel her dread spread further. That itself was a small victory.
Watching her, she saw his lips move and curl into a somewhat soft and friendly smile proving his face even more handsome. At that moment with such a smile across his face, Helaena found him very much handsome wondering if even this side of him was from his father or mother and strangely settling into something close to comfort before she heard-
'I think it's time for the main course, lads. Let the bedding begin!'
Her blood ran cold, and her body flinched as she heard men's laughter and gruesome shouts slowly standing up and moving toward her.
Tiny and countless little knives dug themselves into her skin, and she wished to be a tiny spider or fly to be able to leave without anyone noticing.
Her eyes quickly moved away from Jacaerys's face, and her tiny and shaking voice confessed in a hushed whispered, 'I hate being touched.'
Someone took a hold of her chair and yanked it backward forcing her to stand up if she did not wish to fall.
She caught the ladies laughing and moving toward her husband, but he pushed passed them and snatched the arm of his brother quickly telling him something before glancing her way just as Aegon pushed her along with another Lord laughing into the corridor.
Helaena was engulfed by a sea of grasping hands and leering faces all too close and touching.
'No, please!' she started weakly trying to wrestle her arm from the painful and sickening grip as someone else started to tug at her pretty white dress, the one her mother said looked almost like her own, ready to tear it off her before she saw someone push pass those men and then elbowed Aegon into the gut hard, 'Go find a willing maid.'
Everyone stepped back, and she noticed Aemond not for the first-time glaring venom at everything around her.
Helaena blinked surprised by Lucerys Velaryon, her new good-brother, smiling down at her in a way similar to his older brother. Just as Jacearys, Lucerys, the heir to the Driftmark, grew quite tall and large even for his age, 'Come good-sister, I shall escort you.'
'That's not the-'
However, Lucerys didn't listen to Lords' protests and simply motioned for her to start walking. His large frame was like a shield between her and the men who wished to rip her pretty Valyrian wedding dress to shreds like wolves would their prey for meat.
Their jokes were bawdier and bawdier the further they went, but no one tried to touch her again and rather focused on themselves and their drinks. She took it as the ultimate victory.
She ended up in the chambers with her heart still beating fast and the feeling of wishing to crawl out of her skin ever so present, but not as hysterical as she no doubt would have been if she was touched more.
Jacaerys was already there. His own clothes looked far worse, but just like hers they were still present, and Helaena was grateful for that as well.
'Looks, like the ladies, had no luck either,' joked one of the Lords.
She saw Jacaerys frown above her head, but then softened his gaze, and turning around just for a glance she saw Lucerys nod at him before he urged the drunk men away from the room, 'Come, let's carry on the celebration. This requires no witnesses.'
'Such pity,' someone joked earning enormous loud laughter from the others and Helaena shivered.
Jacaerys followed the men, but only to close and locked the door after them. The sound echoed in the room and made the princess's skin crawl again.
'It's better if they won't barge in accidentally,' explained the prince, her new husband, as he walked around her and toward the table picking a cup, 'Are you thirsty or hungry? You barely touched anything at the feast.'
He sounded concerned for reasons Helaena couldn't understand, but she still found some comfort in them, 'No, I am well, thank you.'
He nodded and took a sip and it occurred to the princess that his hand shocked a bit, 'Are you alright, Prince Jacaerys?'
The corner of his lips lifted ever so slightly, and she could see something like a sparkle inside his dark eyes, 'Call me Jace. There's no need for formalities. Not here…not when it's just...'
She waited, but he didn't finish, and she figured now would be an as good time as time, 'I'm grateful for your gift. I'm sorry I did not thank you earlier. The color…it's extraordinary.'
His face seemed to get even more beautiful as his smile widened, 'I'm glad you like it. I kept on thinking I should gift you with something, but my cousins and brothers were no help at all. A useless bunch.'
The words he used were unkind, but the way he sounded, it didn't sound like it. In fact, she would almost think it was a jest, but Aegon smiled as well when he was cruel.
She swallowed a bit, 'Are you not close? With your cousins and brothers?'
His eyes revealed confusion and he spoke quickly as if the simple idea that he wasn't, offended him, 'Very close. As I hope you will grow to be with them as well.'
The princess nodded, 'I shall do my best.'
Jacaerys's smile lifted and fell so abruptly, Helaena was certain she said something wrong again, but she wasn't sure what. She was growing anxious. Her mother had informed her what she was to do on her first night. What was expected of her, but it seemed the prince had no intentions of starting the whole ordeal.
'Did the maid deliver my gift for you?' asked Helaena after a moment of silence which usually meant she spoke poorly and people around her were uneasy. She didn't see Jace try to avoid her gaze or excuse himself, but she felt too unsure. She didn't know him or his reactions too well yet.
'Of course, I must confess, I was tempted to have a look, but I swore I would wait for you,' he said and walked to the bed taking a hold of the cloak, 'It annoyed me that I couldn't see the look on your face when you opened the box.'
Helaena thought about his words, and tried to recall what she felt, 'It brought a smile to my face.'
Jace smiled upon hearing that, 'I'm sure that would have been a sight worth seeing.'
He spoke so nicely to her. It was rare people were like this to her. She confused them. She knew that. Her mother was tired of her. Her father was always ill and old. Aegon was annoyed with her. Aemond tried, but he always pushed it too far, and Helaena didn't know what to do with his intensity.
Jace seemed different than them. More patient and calm. She recognized his attempts in being gentle with her. She welcomed them even.
'It was truly beautiful, and you were kind to think of me,' she said hoping it would please him as he had pleased her so far. It seemed to work as he was smiling at her, and even with her lack of reading others, she didn't feel anxiety or malice from his smile.
He looked away then and with a swift motion revealed the cloak, she had personally made for him. It wasn't her best work. She started to work after her father announced publicly she would marry Jace, and as much as she enjoyed the repetitive motion that sewing brought her, she did think she could have worried harder to improve it.
Jace's face changed. His eyes remained on the cloak taking in the sewed sigil of a tripartite pale blue, red, and green on a white field, surmounting a white hand within a black escutcheon.
His smile disappeared and his face darkened, 'W-why would you, Princess?!'
Her body flinched, and she swallowed hard sensing the familiar dread of an unfamiliar situation. She made a mistake. She did something wrong, but again, she wasn't sure what it was.
His face grew darker and angry, but not as Aegon's when he was about to be cruel to her, but mostly as Aemond when he accused her of being the cruel one.
'Princess,' said Jace, and his voice was different. She could hear fire inside it, but at the same time, it seemed he was holding back. It remained her of Dreamfyre who could easily throw her off its back if it changed its mind, but she knew her dragon well, and he would never do that. She knew nothing of Jace yet, and it scared her all the more.
'Princess, why did you make this? Did your brothers put you up to this?' he asked slowly, but with a dangerous edge as if he were an animal ready to strike. She felt her skin vibrate and the unpleasant sensation of something crawling through it.
'I thought about you a lot since father announced our betrothal,' she tried to explain, 'I did not remember you much apart from running around with Aegon and Aemond, but I remember the day they announced what happened to Lord Strong. You seemed rather…sad,' she looked away, 'I wondered if I should tell you something then, but I was never good with words and I often only angered my brothers or made them sadder. I know you cannot speak of it, or show this cloak, but if he was close to your heart, I think you could keep it. Even use it if it would please you and make you feel closer to him. Just for us.'
She didn't look at him and remained with her eyes glued to the wall waiting for some reaction. The uncertainty left her anxious again, but it seemed Jace did not wish to torment her with it for too long as he took a small step closer, 'I…I understand now, I think.'
Helaena rose her head and glanced at his shoulder, 'I apologize if I angered you.'
She saw him shake his head, 'No, you-must not apologize. The blame is all mine. I shouldn't have assumed that simply because of your brothers you would…forgive me,' he sighed, 'Please, Helaena.'
Her purple eyes lifted to his again, and breath caught in her throat.
'There is nothing to apologize. I, too, wondered if you would be similar to my brothers. Since you were close growing up,' she admitted honestly.
Jace studied her face for a while looking angered again, but he seemed to calm himself before he spoke, 'I can't speak for them, but I assure you, I meant what I said, I do not wish harm to come your way, and I will do anything to prevent it.'
His dark eyes glanced at the cloak for a moment before one of the corners of his mouth pulled up, 'May I place it on you? Just for us?'
Just for us
She told him the same words not so long ago, but when he repeated them just now, they sounded somehow sweeter, like honey.
She nodded and took a step toward him. There was no Septon, no godwood, and no witnesses, and they were already wed either way, but for them for now this would do.
Jace paused with the cloak between his hands, 'You said…before you said you hated being touched. Does this apply to all touches?'
Helaena was surprised. So rarely anyone asked. Most of the people already knew from whispers and gossip and they avoided and ignored her, or they did not care and grabbed her as they pleased.
The young woman tried to explain, 'If I know the touch is coming, I can ease myself to it. But only if the touch is kind and gentle. I can hate….my skin it,' she clenched her fist for a moment and set it free in the next, 'Something crawls through it and this feeling of dread settles inside me when it's abrupt and firm.'
Jace continued to watch her, his dark eyes seemingly miles away, and she wished not for the first time, to be better at reading people as others seemed to be. She could tell at times when people were angry, sad, or happy but sometimes even that was uncertain when they were hiding something.
Her husband suddenly nodded, 'Alright, I, will place the cloak on you now, alright?'
She nodded already preparing herself that he would touch her, so when he set the cloak over her shoulders and briefly touched her, she didn't flinch or feel discomfort, 'Should we announce it again?'
She thought it wouldn't be the worse idea and nodded.
He opened his mouth and she followed, 'With this kiss, I pledge my love-'
'-and take you for my lord, and husband.'
'-and take you for my lady, and wife.'
They quieted down, but Helaena could still hear in her ears the words of the imaginary Septon, 'One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever.'
It got her to smile, and she found Jace's gaze lingered toward it, 'I knew it would suit you. The smile,' he explained, and the princess felt something warm inside her chest, 'You're too kind, Jace.'
He smiled even brighter as if he liked the way she used his name, and she told her self to use it more often from now.
They seemed to fall into silence after that, and Helaena was once again unsure how to break it, but she also didn't feel the need to do so. It was pleasant. Different than the silence that usually surrounded her when she spoke poorly or when she was on her own. She liked it.
Jace's eyes lifted from her smile toward her eyes again and carefully he spoke, 'We don't have to do anything tonight. My mother…she told me how to make it look so that the realm will be pleased. We can wait until you feel more comfortable with me.'
Such an idea was tempting. Helaena tried not to think of what would their first night require as it was easier that way for her nerves, but she knew she had a duty to perform. She didn't feel as hopeless and frightened by it as she had before.
Jace's presence and demeanor strangely soothe her. It wasn't unpleasant to be around him.
'We can try,' she said and licked her lips a bit, 'I…I want to try at least.'
She saw him take a deep breath, but let it out slowly, and she wondered what it meant before he nodded, 'As you wish, princess.'
'Helaena,' she cut him off, 'You called me by my name before. It was nice.'
His face had gone handsome again as he repeated, 'Helaena, may I kiss you?'
She nodded and watched as he stepped closer to her.
Proximity was always a bit strange, but the feeling she received from Jace's was different than the nerves she knew so well.
'Has anyone ever kissed you before?' he asked suddenly, and she frowned clenching her wrist.
'I'm not asking to shame or embarrass you, I just wish to know how to do it so you would enjoy it,' he clarified, and Helaena relaxed.
She never allowed it, but Aegon tried. He had been cruel, about that too, laughing that he knew she wouldn't be very good at it as he shoved his tongue like a snake into her mouth making her spit out unable to wash the taste away. She never allowed it, but Aemond tried to be somewhat better. However, he was too eager and desperate in the end proving the sensation the same.
Awful
She forced her mind to escape such memories and focus on the brown color of Jace's eyes which looked nothing like a Targaryen. Perhaps, that would be better.
'Gently, please.'
His smile was small yet sweet, and he licked his lips a bit before he spoke, 'May I touch your hair?'
'Yes,' she said easily. She never felt her hair being touched so she didn't mind it, 'It doesn't bother me there.'
She saw and felt some pressure knowing that he must have placed his palm against it, but he did so very lightly reminding her of the time her hair got caught up in a spiderweb. The touch was barely there.
He looked down at her mouth again before he spoke in a hushed voice, 'If it's too much or anything other than pleasant then push me away or tell me.'
She hummed her agreement too focused on the brown color of his eyes as he leaned down at pressed his lips against hers. The pressure was delicate barely there. It was wet but not as uncomfortable as it was when her brothers forced her.
Jace held her by her hair as if he was a ghost, and his lips ever so slowly moved against her own. His eyes were closed, but she kept hers open enjoying how soft his skin appeared.
After three more brushes, Jace leaned away blinking his eyes open and looking at her, 'Did you enjoy it?'
'Yes, it was lovely,' she assured him and let her fingers brush against her lips as if she expected them to feel different against her own skin now. They felt the same, but she was happy to know her skin didn't react poorly to Jace's touch.
She looked into the brown color inside his irises, 'Let's try again.'
He let out a breath like a chuckle and nodded, 'Of course. Can I touch your arm now?'
She nodded after a moment of preparing herself and then settled against the pressure of his other hand against her arm. It wasn't horrible either.
With some anticipation and perhaps thrill, Helaena was the one to lean closer first and press her own lips to his. She mimicked the gentle touches watching the shape of his nose and the edges of his cheeks enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers. It was much nicer this way. Calmer and patient. She rarely experienced that from anyone and in anything.
They kissed for longer it seemed now, and after a moment she felt Jace's hold tighten but still not as firmly as others had when they grabbed her.
She felt his tongue then, but it was only the tip slowly stroking her lower lip as if it was appeared there by accident. He didn't try to push her to open her mouth for him or get her lip more wet with its licks either. It was odd, but after a moment she settled into the new sensation as well.
She could feel him tugging at her hair a bit, which confused her and got her to lean away breaking the kiss only to look and find her blond hair curled around his finger.
'Ah, forgive me, was that too much?' he asked his voice a bit different than before, he was breathing harder.
When she looked at his face again, she found it red and lovely.
'May I touch your cheek?' she asked her eyes hypnotized by the red color spreading across his pale cheek.
He swallowed, his voice lower now, 'Yes.'
The way he spoke got the girl to pause for a moment, but her curiosity won over her confusion, and she reached out, her fingers touching the skin of his cheek. She was always the one to be touched and rarely if ever the one to touch anyone herself. It was better like this, she realized. Her touching him, mapping his face as if it was a new land for her to explore.
Her mouth felt wetter now and warmth spread inside her chest as she watched his brown eyes darker the longer she touched him, 'You're skin is soft, Jace. It's nice to touch.'
'I-I'm…happy to please my wife,' he said looking at her eyes and lips and breathing harder.
Her heartbeat speeded up, and the unfamiliar feeling inside her was welcoming.
'Can we kiss again?'
'Yes,' she barely finished before he kissed her again, but despite his urgency, he remained soft as if he always kept in mind, she needed it like this.
His fingers brushed her arm, and she wondered if he wished to touch her elsewhere but stop himself realizing he didn't ask.
His lips were still delicate and warm and the warmth they brought continued to spread across her chest and lower body.
His tongue stroked her lower lip and this time she ever so slightly parted them. He didn't burst inside as had the others. He stayed gentle almost shy touching her only ever once in a while until she felt impatient and touched him herself. It was wet just as she remembered, but the slow motion gave her time to adjust to it and repay his touches. However, along with the unhurried motion slowly came the feeling of something spreading inside her. The warmth was nice and pleasant, but the feeling was different, more intense, and more overwhelming despite the gentle and deliberate touches.
Her mouth broke free of his kisses, and she breathed fast and hard feeling her heart speeding up and her inside temperature rising again.
'Was it too much?' asked Jace, his voice lower and deeper again, and his brown eyes darker almost black. It was frightening, but-not. It was a different kind of frightening- not dreadful or awful perhaps-thrilling.
Exciting
Anticipating
Helaena licked her lips, 'Yes, but…I liked it.'
Her lips broke into a smile despite the confusing feelings as she felt happier than she had in a long time, 'I never…I always react so poorly to these things. I always feel too different, but this felt good, and it felt right.'
Ordinary
It felt ordinary. It felt as if she was like everyone else. Someone her mother could love. Someone her father could pay attention to. Someone her older brother wouldn't torment. Someone her younger brother wouldn't overwhelm. Someone who could kiss Jace, her husband, and not feel like her she wanted to crawl out of her skin.
He smiled at her, 'You're beautiful. When you smile like this…you're beautiful, Helaena.'
Her name sounded so sweet on his lips. She wanted to eat it.
She bit her lip and leaned closer but not touching his lips yet only allowing her fingers to brush his lips, 'Where would you like to touch me next, Jace?'
He took a deep breath, 'I can't say.'
'Why?'
'I promised not to harm you,' he said and closed his eyes swallowing hard and breathing even harder like a dog in the hot sun in King's Landing, 'I would hate to frighten you, but…especially right now when you're smiling and look so happy.'
'I feel happy,' she admitted and leaned closer touching their foreheads together and their noses brushing, 'Maybe if you touched me just a bit and gently. Where would you touch me?'
He swallowed, 'Your back…your neck. But-'
'But?'
'I would like to touch your neck with my mouth,' he confessed and when his eyes looked at her, she shook but from heat which wasn't something Helaena ever thought possible. Even in her dreams where everything burnt with fire, she never shivered. She screamed, and it hurt, but not because she was too cold, so the shivering puzzled her.
She took a deep breath, 'Gently, Jace.'
He let out a sound, deep and strong from the inside of his throat before he nodded and brushed his face against her as he leaned lower to her neck over the veil of her hair.
She could feel his breathing, even if she sensed he tried to control it. That was not a good feeling, but it was forgotten as she felt his lips, warm and wet, brushed against the skin on her neck.
'Oh.'
It lasted a speck in hourglass before he leaned away breathing beside her rather than on her, 'It's alright.'
She felt her fingers migrate toward his hair where they tingled her as if were touching the grass in her mother's garden, 'Carry on.'
She curled her fingers in his hair as she felt, his mouth on her neck again leaving soft and small kisses every few inches.
The warmth inside her spread, and her fingers caught his hair pulling at it just as Jace found a spot that made her let out an odd sound. It was a strange sound, one she did not know she could make, and she needed a moment to realize she let it out, and that it wasn't a bad sound.
Jace's eyes met hers as she straightened his back to look at her, 'Helaena-?'
'Yes-'
'I must kiss you again now-'
'Yes-,' he cut her off, with a kiss, this time going inside her mouth almost immediately, but it was as if her body expected it and welcomed it immediately giving into him as well. It was noisy now with sounds caused by more wetness and eagerness, but it wasn't loud in a way that would cause her distress. She didn't even remember being bothered by anything fully submitting to the sensations caused by the kissing and enjoying them.
'Jace,' she said between the kisses and felt him pause so fast abruptly it was as if he turned to stone even if his breathing was hard.
He cleared his throat before he asked still sounding hoarse, 'Yes, darling?'
Her fingers curled around his hair, 'Where else do you want to kiss me?'
'Everywhere,' he admitted, and she shivered even though she felt warmer than ever, 'Where first?'
He looked her up and down in that dark way that caused her to gasp. Aemond sometimes looked at her in such a dark way, but it never made her feel good. It only ever made her feel like she wished to hide, but not right now, not in front of Jace, 'Your hand.'
She giggled in delight feeling almost drunk as she lifted her free hand, and he gently took her wrist. He didn't ask, but his eyes followed hers as he kissed each of her fingers front and back and then pressed kisses against her palm and moved to her wrist.
She kept on nodding ever so slightly in permission as she felt he only moved because she allowed him to. She was beyond grateful for that. If nothing else, this, would have been the reason, Helaena would believe Jacaerys Velaryon was a good man.
He paused when he finished with her wrist and looked at her, 'May I move higher, Helaena?'
'Yes,' she nodded and watched him start his own exploration of her higher through her wrist, elbow arm and then pause at her shoulder catching her eyes and a short nod before he lifted the fabric of her wedding dress without touching her and pressed a kiss against her collar bone, 'Jace.'
'Where next my love?' he asked, and she felt breathless again, 'My-tongue.'
He offered her a grin that was more dragon than man and leaned toward her face kissing her on the mouth gently a few times before he pushed between her lips, and she sighed again, the pleasure of the sensation hard to fight.
Her free hand touched his back filing the muscles there as she moved against his shirt, and she felt him move a bit on her own back pulling her closer before he paused a bit and broke the kiss, 'Forgive me.'
'I did not mind,' she assured him her body at peace for once, 'Could I kiss your neck-oh, and cheek?'
He chuckled again. It was such a nice and warm sound, 'You don't have to ask, darling. Touch me, kiss me. Do whatever you wish to me.'
She brushed his hair again, 'I cannot do so knowing I cannot offer the same.'
'Then ask away, the answer will always remain the same,' he assured her and tilted his head exposing his neck toward her.
She leaned toward him breathing in his scent. It was clean which she thanked the Gods for. She was especially sensitive to the scent of sweat hating how Aegon used to try and hug her pulling her toward him only because he knew she couldn't stand the smell.
He swallowed, and she watched in fascination the movement of his throat before her fingers reached out and stroked it.
He let out a soft noise that made her smile before she leaned closer and pressed her lips against his skin. There wasn't much to the taste, but hearing Jace make the sound again more than made up for it.
She kissed him again feeling his breathing grow faster, 'Can I touch your chest now?'
'Please,' he said, and she rose up and slowly move her hand across his clothing feeling the shape of his body it caused her breathing to grow rapidly as well, 'You're very handsome, Jace. Well-built.'
'Helaena, allow me…please, let me-may I touch you as well? I wish…to run my hands through,' he said, and she paused for a moment before she nodded. He seemed desperate and anxious, but he didn't try to reach her as she expected.
He closed his eyes and took in a deep before he opened them and looked at her, 'You're-It's hard to stay focused on your needs like this. Let me know if it gets too much and forgive me if I cross a line.'
Helaena nodded taking assurance in just how gentle and respectful he was with her so far, 'I trust you.'
His smile was brilliant and warmer than the sun before he reached for her waist stopping only to search her face.
'Go on, Jace, touch me,' she instructed, and he groaned again shaking his head slightly before he finally put his hand on her waists. The touch was gentle, but it was enough to cause the warmth to grow.
She shivered again and when he slightly moved his palms causing a sensation to shoot through her she took hold of his hands startling both of them.
Jace looked at her, 'I can stop-'
'Don't-,' she licked her lips, 'just allow me a moment to grow familiar with this…all of this.'
He nodded and assured her, 'Anything.'
They both breathed out losing some of the desperation and hotness, 'Maybe, it would be easier if you could focus on touching me instead.'
She blinked and carefully settled at her hands on his chest again. It was so solid and warm against her touch, 'Maybe.'
Slowly she moved them over his again brushing higher until she reached his neck stroking him there, but she flinched as she felt him move his hands over her waist again.
She felt the familiar feeling of disappointment over how different she was. Anyone else wouldn't have been bothered by it. They would have endured. She wouldn't embarrass themselves in such a way.
'Here,' he spoke and pushed his hands into her palms, 'Try to feel what would make you feel good.'
She swallowed and nodded carefully placing his hands back on her body, but choosing her stomach this time. Carefully, she guided his touch across her stomach toward her chest feeling her heartbeat faster again and her breath become deeper. She liked the feeling of the fabric moving against her bare body through his delicate touch.
She shivered again and moaned a bit when she guided him through her breast. She felt her nipples tinkle against the fabric.
'Helaena,' Jace moaned and leaned closer, 'May I kiss as you do this?'
She nodded unable to speak enjoying the unfamiliar sensation over her breast leaving her breathless.
He leaned down and kissed her softly again moving his tongue inside her mouth almost quietly as if his kisses wished to soothe her while he allowed his hand under her guidance make her burn, 'Jace.'
'What is it, darling?' he asked against her lips.
'It feels…good,' she whimpered her mouth wet and heavy leaving her words messy and not as elegant.
Her husband didn't seem to mind as he kissed her upper lip, 'How fortunate that it is the only way, I wish for my dear wife to feel.'
She moaned when he ever so slightly pressed his fingers against her flesh touching her erected nipple, 'Jace.'
Her mouth opened as she panted loudly feeling she needed more air. Her chest was raising and falling even faster now desperate to press closer against Jace's hands. The warmth inside her turned to hotness like a forest fire reaching corners she didn't know before mostly reaching between her legs. She wished to rub them together the wetness that slowly crept on her there almost uncomfortable.
'Helaena, such a pretty voice you have,' he spoke and kissed her open mouthed causing her to mouth louder as she pressed her legs together, 'Jace.'
'What is it, darling?'
'More,' she breathed out and pushed his hands harder against her skin enjoying the sensation of his fingers moving over her there stroking her nipples every now and then.
'You're so beautiful, Helaena,' he groaned again, and he kissed her again harder this time but not unpleasantly, 'So beautiful.'
She moaned against another kiss straight into his mouth, and he pressed his hips closer to her. He didn't seem to notice, and she didn't tell him enjoying the feeling of him this close to her center she seemed to be uncomfortable and needy at the same time.
'Jace, please,' she begged feeling she was shaking unsure what exactly she wanted from him other than more. It was a surreal demand for something unknown that seemed to speak from her core in a way, she couldn't name, but luckily Jace, ever so understanding and respectful and kind did as he freed his hands from hers, 'Let me carry you-'
'Yes!'
'To the bed-'
'YES!' she agreed unable to do anything else.
He reached for her waists, but in the last moment stopped himself and rather took her around the shoulders. With a single nod, she allowed him to proceed, and he leaned down to reach for the back of her knees. For a second death crept in as he came closer to a part of her body, Helaena knew she would not allow even him to touch her let alone breathe on, but she quickly settled as she was suddenly in his arms carried to the bed, 'Forgive me, Helaena, I should have offered you the bed sooner.'
'No, you've been nothing but kind and wonderful to me, Jace. You're…you're so kind and so good to me,' she said as she was carefully settled against the furs looking up at her husband feeling her chest was warm again with that sweet feeling of adoration. It was a new feeling. Gentle and so comfortable inside her heart.
The man smiled down at her, 'You deserve it.'
He pressed a chaste kiss against her lips, 'How could I be anything but kind and good to you? You're so precious, Helaena. You have a good heart. I always thought so.'
She smiled at him brightly feeling a sense of pride over his words. Rarely, she was a compliment, and even rarer did she feel they meant it. Jace's words felt honest. He felt like someone with honor who could be trusted.
She reached for him, and he allowed her to touch his handsome face covered with a smile. She liked the feeling of his lips against her lips even more against her kiss.
She pulled him closer, and he sighed against her dreamingly. She felt happy like she was cared for and accepted, 'Helaena.'
Their kisses grew deeper, and she took his hands to guide them against her chest again moaning into his mouth silently begging for more of his touch.
'Helaena, I would…I would like to kiss you elsewhere,' he said and kissed her cheek as she breathed hard under him.
She licked her lips, 'Where?'
'Your breasts,' he confessed and swallowed quickly adding, 'But only if you're comfortable to lose your clothing.'
Helaena brushed her stomach, 'I can try. I've never…I've never undressed in front of anyone, but I can try.'
Jace searched her face again and nodded, 'Only if you're sure.'
When she confirmed it, he dug his knees into the bed to allow her to rose a bit and pull the lances of her dress.
'Do you wish for me to assist you?' he asked watching her with that dark gaze, but his voice was very gentle.
She thought about it, but ultimately shook her head, 'Not tonight.' She always hated whenever her maids needed to help her with a dress. Her body shook, and the feeling of something crawling under her skin grew stronger she bit and cried at anyone who got too close until her mother shouted at her and left her to dress herself.
'As you wish,' he assured and patiently waited, watching her, only reaching out to brush his hair a bit which caused Helaena to smile for some reason and carry on.
She easily undid the buttons and laces and slipped the dress off her only to freeze.
'What's wrong?'
'It's…the fur feels strange,' she confessed as her skin rebelled against the feeling of the fur against it.
Jace stood up and offered her his hand which she took, and he quickly pulled the furs down leaving nothing but the sheets.
With a small sigh, Helaena rose her skirt again and felt her bare skin against the fabric of the sheet. It was much more agreeable against her skin.
She nodded and carefully lifted the dress over her head before she nicely placed it against a nearby chair. With more courage than she felt before, she got rid of her small clothes leaving nothing but her boots in place.
When she turned back around to Jace, she found him taking her in. Until tonight, she never had men look at her in such a way. Only occasionally Aemond, but his gazes were usually filled with more sadness than she could or wished to bare. The sadness she couldn't relate to as his gaze or the gazes of the drunken lords from this evening never made her feel like this.
Beautiful
Jace's dark eyes taking her in, swallowing her whole while still looking so respectful and adoring made her feel beautiful. It wasn't something Helaena felt often if ever and she wished to imprint his gaze and this moment into her mind to cherish it inside the warm place in her heart forever.
'You're flawless,' he whispered, and Helaena laughed, 'Hardly.'
'No, you…you are,' he assured her and smiled even more looking happy, 'So stunning and…perfect.'
Helaena took a step closer to him, and he did the same. They haven't touched one another, but they had remained close looking at each other as they breathe loudly and with expectation.
It felt strange.
There was closeness.
In such ways, Helaena never felt with anyone else animal or man.
It felt good. Precious, even if she was this bare in front of him. She didn't feel scared. His gaze didn't come her feel uncomfortable. She felt adored and cared for. Accepted.
Loved…
'Jace,' she said and nodded at him, 'You should undress as well.'
His dark eyes blinked at her, and he chuckled brushing his face, 'Forgive me, you…you consumed my thought entire.'
She grinned something like joy taking over her as she heard that and watched as he quickly got rid of his clothing much more careless about where the clothing fell on the ground than Helaena.
When he was done, Helaena let out a shattered breath as it was her turn to take his image in and admire him.
Her mouth went dry now as she took in his body with her hungry eyes that couldn't look away. She knew he would be handsome even under his clothes. She already touched him and felt nothing but lean muscles and warmth. Yet, she never actually pictured how he would look as she has never seen a naked man. Despite her mother's words about her first night, she was always stunned by his manhood already awake it would seem.
'Is it…are you already?'
'Helaena,' he whispered with a low and dangerous voice that caused her insides to feel hot again, 'I've been ready since you allowed me to kiss you.'
The new information caused her to blink and cover her mouth feeling like she wanted to consume something, yet her eyes stayed on him still. It was fascinating to look at the way she was fascinated by her first spider or cockroach. She couldn't explain the thirst for wanting to touch, to examine him and learn more.
'Helaena,' he called out her name again, and she first rose her head before her eyes followed, 'Would you like to continue?'
She nodded and took a step closer only to pause as she heard the distinguished sound of her boots against the floor.
Her eyes glanced down and then back up at Jace, 'I…you must promise you won't touch my feet.'
He blinked, 'Feet?'
She nodded, 'I think I can bare anywhere else you will touch me, but my feet...,' she shook her head then recalling frantic movements and hits she didn't mean to give, 'I might hurt you if you try. I can't explain it. But I can't bare it if anyone touches my feet.'
Jace let her finish and then nodded, 'I won't. Do you think you would be more comfortable if you remained with your boots on for tonight?'
'Yes,' she answered quickly, and both of them smiled at each other before Jace made a step closer to her reaching out for her hand.
She took it and allowed him to help her back into the bed, 'Talk to me, Helaena. I promise to always listen.'
She rewarded his kind promise with a deep kiss enjoying the feeling of her lips between sucking on his tongue before he leaned down above her neck, 'Can I start here? I will move lower. If anything feels other than pleasant, tell me, and we will think of something else.'
Helaena sighed and nodded watching him lean down and then feeling him kiss her neck on he spotted, he discovered before got her to moan so quickly. She moaned again burying her fingers into his hair and enjoying the feeling of his kisses across her skin. They were almost chaste but left warm spots everywhere she got one. Her neck, her throat, her collar bone, her chest. Her breast and nipples earned more than a few with Jace rolling his tongue against her nipple in almost lazy strokes that got the princess to arch her back a bit, 'Oh, Jace!'
'I like it when you say my name like that, darling,' he whispered in that deep and low voice that went straight to the dampness between her legs, 'Sing for me some more, Helaena.'
And she did. He played with her breast a bit before he went lower avoiding her belly as she covered it and gave him an apologetic look which he rewarded with a smile and a soft kiss against her cheek before he went lower stopping by her underbelly close to her center to all the wetness and hotness he caused inside her, 'I won't touch your feet, but can I touch your thighs, darling?'
She nodded feeling strangely weak and woke and watched as Jace took a hold of her legs and spread them apart revealing her toward him.
She gasped over the realization that it was the first time anyone ever saw her there since she wasn't a babe.
Jace smiled at her womanhood and then looked into her eyes, 'Beautiful Helaena, the dreamer. My wife.'
She felt the warmth inside her heart spread only for it to turn to pure fire as she felt his fingers slide into her wetness and press against her side.
'Jace,' she moaned her eyes close, but only for a moment as she pushed them open fearing she would see something unpleasant in her mind again.
'Watch if you wish, princess. I will give you all that you deserve and more,' he said in such a deep and dangerous voice, but his words were anything but. So sweet.
She trembled the feelings he awoke inside her taking over. His fingers seemed skilled, working her, inside and out in slow almost painfully deliberate movements while his thumb searched for something at the edge of her.
She wondered what but her tongue felt heavy and her mouth full of saliva as a feeling of something, unlike anything she ever imagined shot through her causing her eyes to close as they washed over. It was powerful and magical pushing her against the sheets only to rose her up a moment later, 'Jace!'
'Does it feel good, my wife? How does it feel? Speak to me,' he urged her, as she tossed her head with her eyes closed not bothered by fears of the fog or bad memories as everything was washed away by the master of tides, Jacaerys Velarys, her husband, with his fingers working her body into the unfamiliar pleasure and her mind into blissful oblivious.
'Yes, Jace…so…strange, but good,' she gasped, moaned, and cried trying to open her eyes only to be hit by the wave again and again until it felt like the biggest one yet had hit her and arched her back of the bed again taking everything away, 'Jace!'
He was by her in an instant stroking her hair and waiting until she opened her eyes and saw him, 'May I kiss you?'
'Please,' she begged desperately for him, and he seemed to happily obey starting from the corner of her mouth until he reached the center, 'So beautiful. Did you enjoy it?'
'Yes,' she said and reached for him again pushing her mouth and tongue against his feeling she needed him close again.
He kissed her chin, 'Do you wish for more?'
'Yes,' she nodded, and he kissed her one more time before he went between her legs again. He waited for her again to allow him to touch her and to her surprise she found, she almost immediately felt the sensation from before start again almost without any time. She tossed on the bed breathing and moaning his name and telling him how good it felt grateful for this blessing, this feeling, Jace.
The wave washed over again hitting her faster and harder, and she remained breathless on her bed staring at the ceiling before Jace's face covered her vision, 'What do you wish to do now, my darling?'
Helaena was still breathing hard and returning to her body and mind, so she closed her eyes for a moment to focus, 'As wonderful as that is, I don't think I can't manage it again like that, could we try…to perform our duties.'
She felt embarrassed to say that out loud, and even more so when she heard Jace chuckle.
However, when she opened her eyes, his brown ones remained kind and tender at her, 'I wish to tease you a bit.'
Her eyes widened at his confession, but he chuckled again and leaned closer to her face, 'But perhaps some other time. When you're more comfortable with me.'
She sighed and nodded stroking his hair. It was getting greasy now, and a worrying thought came that soon she would feel sweaty and would wish for him not to touch her.
'We should carry on now,' she said, and he nodded offering his lips for her to kiss again before he got above her once again grabbing her thighs and spreading them apart to settle between her, 'It might hurt a bit.'
She nodded. Her mother had informed of her this first. She told her to endure it and not bring shame to their family and house.
Jace brushed her hair away from her face, 'I promise to stop if you tell me.'
She nodded again, 'You have been nothing but good to me, and stay true to every one of your words. I trust you, Jace.'
His smile was kind and soft before he kissed her forehead.
He pressed his own against it and looked between them slowly guiding his member between her wet legs.
The pain was immediate and given how good and relaxed, he made her feel it ripped through Helaena like a sword causing her to cry out.
'Helaena-'
'It hurts,' she admitted through her teeth holding onto the sheets trying to ease herself again, but she felt she was failing miserably. It hurt. It hurt unlike anything else, and it wasn't just her oversensitive mind and body that thought so. She started to sweat, or she thought she only started and felt the familiar dreadful feeling of something crawling under her skin and wished she could rip her skin off, 'It hurts, Jace. Please, stop.'
He got out of her immediately and went to touch her but stopped, 'Where can I touch you?'
She bit her lip and looked away from his worried gaze feeling humiliation taking over as she knew she was causing him trouble and even after everything he had done for her and how good he made her feel, she still failed to do this for him.
'Helaena, it's alright,' he spoke, and she wished he wouldn't because he was far too kind to her.
'Relax, and tell me when I may touch you,' he said all too kindly again, and she nodded even if she knew it might likely be never given her history.
'I'm sorry,' he said after a while, and she felt him shift on the bed.
Her eyes looked at him wondering if he was leaving her now that he realized just how much work she was, but instead, he simply rolled on his back, 'I got too eager. I pushed you too far.'
'No!' she cut him off and sat up to look at him, 'You, you were perfect, Jace. No one ever asked to touch me, let alone be so patient and…You made me feel so good and comfortable. Safe. I wish…I wish I was like everyone else. I wish I was ordinary-'
'You don't have to. You're amazing,' he said and sat up as well, but thankfully, he didn't try to touch her just yet, 'You're not like others which is why you're better. You're the best of your family,' he assured her, and she smiled. She knew he only meant her parents and brothers, but it was still more than she could ever hope to hear from anyone let alone him.
'I wish I could carry on,' she said, 'I wanted to. It felt good. All you have done,' she looked at him hoping he would understand how much it meant for her, 'You made me feel good even knowing how uncomplete-'
'You're not. You're flawless, perfect, beautiful, and kind,' he assured her and rose his hand, but he waited until she nodded before he set his hand against her cheek gently, 'You're wonderful. Better than I could have hoped. Better than I think I deserve.'
She smiled despite herself and reached for him to kiss him chastely again. They went slow again with soft kisses slowly moving to where they were before until he pushed into her again. It was better. Easier even if it still hurt and brought something uncomfortable under her skin.
She dug her fingers into his back hard enough that the pillows of her fingers hurt, 'Jace, I'm frightened.'
He went to pull out again, but she stopped him, 'I don't want to stop. I just…I don't know.' She was desperate now tormented by her lust and passion and whatever made it so hard for her to be touched.
Jace touched her slowly before he kissed her cheek, 'Relax.'
He got onto the bed and laid down reaching for her hand, 'Come sit on top of me.'
Helaena swallowed hard, but with a flash of hope, she nodded and got onto his lap eyeing his manhood again.
'Touch it if you wish and when you're ready we'll can try again,' he assured her, and she nodded looking back down between his legs.
Her mouth went dry again, and she reached for him slowly getting familiar with the feel of him inside her palm, 'Just…if you do it too long, I will come and need a moment to try again.'
He looked away his cheeks once again flushed making him look so beautiful in her eyes.
'Will it hurt you?'
'No, darling,' he assured her quickly with a grin, 'It will feel wonderful and even more so because it's with you.'
His confession caused her heart to speed up again. She kept her touches gentle and exploratory making sure she wouldn't push him too far. But each time she stoked him and watched the motion of his throat and heard the sound of his groan, she couldn't help it, but cause her own want to grow.
Licking her lips, Helaena sat up above him still holding his member in her palm, 'I wish to try again.'
He nodded and took a hold of her tights instead of her waists while she carefully tried to push his manhood inside her. This time, it seemed easier, and she found herself sitting against him feeling strangely full and hot. Something she never felt before. It was blinding the feeling of something like Jace inside her.
'Oh, Helaena, Gods,' he moaned, and she looked up to find him with his eyes closed and lips parted.
His hands let go of her tights and were now holding onto the sheets so tightly his knuckles were white. She felt her heart skip a beat knowing that even in his own haze of pleasure, Jace didn't wish to hurt her.
It was beyond anything she had ever seen or could imagine. It was beautiful. He looked beautiful like this. Under her. Desperate for her. Begging.
'Can I move, my love?' she asked feeling warm honey spread inside her stomach from the choice of her words, and watched as Jace's dark ones partly opened at her.
'Please, Helaena, do as you wish to me,' he begged with his voice so small, quiet, and desperate, and she obeyed slowly rocking herself against his cock.
It took barely a moment for her body to burn from the fire his dragon sparked inside her. It felt so delicious and good pawning against the sensation of pleasure Jace started inside her before. It felt heavenly. Almost too good to be true, to move herself against him while he lay underneath her begging her for more, starting and thirsty for what only she could give him. She felt different like this. The pleasure was similar, but the other feeling was new.
Powerful
She realized with a start and then a grin. She felt powerful like this on top of Jace riding his dragon-like she was on top of her world. She was married to Jace. He would be king one day, and she would be his queen. She didn't think she cared for it much, but it felt good to have it. It felt good for it to slide between her fingers like melted honey. She wanted it. She wanted this. She wanted to ride Jace and for them to feel good and happy. She wanted everything. Every last drop. Every last piece. She wanted-
More
She felt herself close again, but this time she was the one controlling the tide. She moved faster and more recklessly now unable to find the rhythm, 'Jace, please, help me. Please!'
He groaned in the most erotic way and rose up with her in his arms. He made sure to have them around her but keep his fingers on the sheets and only his thumb pressed against the spot he found earlier bringing her to her pleasure. She could master the waves, and Jace would only keep her steady as she did.
'JACE!'
The wonderful wave of pleasure washed over her fast and hard one more time immediately setting her free.
She felt Jace's thrusts carry on for a bit, but her mind and body were too boneless and exhausted to notice or feel uncomfortable. He took from her what he needed and came as well hard and with a shout, 'Helaena! Fuck!'
He almost fell on top of her, but he quickly stopped himself and carefully placed her body on the sheets before laying next to her, 'Can-I-Helaena, can I-?'
She reached for him, and he brought her closer kissing her open mouth. Covering her face and neck with chaste kisses as if he needed to touch her as much as he possible now despite of all they had done. It grew the feeling inside her heart.
Her dear sweet husband
Her body and mind started to focus again and before she knew it, she felt the discomfort and feeling of her skin repulsed by the sweat and other fluids covering it return, 'Jace.'
'What do you need?' he asked immediately and stopped only to touch her hair since she told him it didn't bother her there, 'A bath.'
'It shall be done,' he assured her and quickly rushed off the bed.
She wanted to feel bad that she was pushing him away like this, but he was back so quickly she didn't even have time to properly blame herself as he returned with the promise that the maid would prepare one in discretely.
'Thank you,' she whispered, and he smiled at her. Even if it was impossible he seemed even more handsome now, 'You're my wife. You do not need to thank me. Ever.'
'I want to,' she told him and brushed his cheek as much as she could before it became too much.
He let her bathe on her own as she explained she wasn't ready for his hands to touch her wet skin. He respected her wishes, content to simply watch her, and then bathed himself.
They settled into the bed, the fur no longer bothering her skin as she put on her smallclothes, 'Did you enjoy it?'
He grinned before he blew up the candles and came to lay next to her on his side, 'Every moment.'
She smiled and giggled, 'I'm glad.'
'Tomorrow, I want to show you something,' he said quietly into the dark, 'I prepared a room for you-'
'My chambers-'
'No, a room for you to study. You can write your notes and gather books that would interest you. You can even store the species you find interesting there,' he said and sounded excited sparking Helaena's heart even more, 'Jace, are you serious?'
'Yes, mother, Luce, and Joff helped me,' he admitted and reached out only to stroke her hair, 'I want you to do anything that makes you happy. You can talk to me about it. I might not be of much use, but I promise, I will listen to you, Helaena.'
It was more than Helaena could ask for.
She leaned closer to him their faces touching, but not quite, 'You can tell me what you like as well. I want to know you.'
'We can start tomorrow.'
'Yes,' she agreed pleased by all of this. By him, by their night, by their potential future. It felt too good to be the truth. But perhaps they suffered enough. Perhaps, she, they, could be happy for once.
They watched one another in the dark for the longest of time before she drifted away.
She woke up properly covered with only her hand touching Jace's. She was grateful, he didn't try to hug her in her sleep as she wouldn't know how her body would react to such a thing. It was still a little miracle it allowed him to hold her.
Maybe one day, we shall sleep in each other's arms.
She smiled feeling hopeful even more so when Jace, her husband, woke up, 'Good morning, wife. May I kiss you?'
'Yes,' she whispered and leaned closer accepting his chaste kiss both of them smiling against each other's lips.
Koniec
A.N: English is not my first language, so I apologize for the mistakes. Thank you for reading. I am happy you enjoyed the story. I hope you and your loved ones are safe. Have a nice day. :)
