The heavy downpour deeply reflected her sentiments. Never before had she wanted so hard to bawl, cry her eyes out, scream at the wind. She was miserable, and rightly so, for nothing in her life had ever been as bad as it was right then.

She had actually begun trying to be friends with Potter, found out he could be a decent guy. Only, when her feelings begin to manifest into something slightly more than friendship, he goes and becomes absolutely obnoxious. Dating some Ravenclaw in their year, becoming more arrogant, and alternating between ignoring her or being completely rude towards her. She didn't understand what she'd done to deserve his hatred, not when they were on their way to becoming good friends.

Then, she'd stumbled across Severus and a couple of his friends in the midst of doing some form of dark magic, god knows what exactly they were doing, and they had threatened her quite violently. She only just managed to escape without having to be sent to the hospital wing.

Next, she'd gotten a letter from her dear, older sister, Petunia, who gladly told her about her wedding plans, and how Yvonne was to be her maid of honour, and Jenny and Molly were to be her other bridesmaids, and how Lily wasn't even to be in the wedding party. That shouldn't have come as a surprise to Lily, seeing how Petunia strived to estrange them, but still. They'd planned to be each other's maid of honour since they were little girls, and now Lily was cut out of the wedding party entirely?

To top it all off, there were more muggleborn killings in the Daily Prophet that morning, which made Lily so riled up because nothing in her life could go right. Not only was she having personal troubles, but she was a part of the group that the evil tyrant was oppressing. She was a part of the group in a war that usually ended up being refugees or dead. And nothing made her more angry or frustrated.

Which leads us to her crying outside in the pouring rain.

No one cared enough to come and look for her in the rain. Sure, she had friends, good friends, but the only person who would have sought her out after she'd asked to be alone would have been Severus, if they hadn't fallen out. She's glad they did, she doesn't want to be around someone with his beliefs, but that doesn't mean she doesn't miss him, or their friendship, and seeing him in the halls only makes it worse for her. It gives her a sickening feeling in her gut, like each time she sees him someone punches her repeatedly.

Every time she sees Potter, on the other hand, she feels sick to her stomach with rage and jealousy. She likes him, she'll admit that now, which is where the jealousy comes from, but she didn't do anything to warrant him being so cold towards her. At least, there's nothing she can remember doing… Maybe she just inadvertently pushed him away, like she'd done with countless other people, including her own sister.

"Oi! Evans!" She sighed, hearing that all too familiar, arrogant voice from across the courtyard. "You'll freeze if you stay out there!" He shouted to her.

She just shook her head, then carried on staring at the sky and allowing the rain to rush down her face and mask her tears.

Black came running over, after her refusal to come back inside. "Come on, Evans, you'll catch your death out here! Come back inside."

She shook her head again, because there was no way SIrius Black was going to coax her out of her misery.

"I don't care if I get hypothermia. It's not like there's many people who would care, barring my parents. My sister certainly wouldn't, Sev couldn't care less, and everyone else would feel bad for a couple of days then forget all about it. I don't even know why you care so much, Black."

"Why, Evans, you're my mate, and I care about my mates. Plus, do you really think people care about you so little? I care, Marlene cares, Mary, Dorcas, Remus, Peter, James, we all care about you."

Lily snorted. "Potter doesn't care about me one bit. These days he either ignores me or is blatantly rude to me, and I don't even know what I've done."

Sirius sighed, and slid down the wall to sit next to her, his dark curls flattening against his head with the rain. "Prongs is being a bit of an arse at the moment, not just to you but to everyone. Including me and the lads. He broke up with Kendra, has been pushing everyone away. I think he believes that if he no one cares for him then he can't lose anyone in the war. If he has no one, he has nothing to lose. I don't think he's going about it the right way, certainly, because he's become an absolute arsehole to be around, but I understand where he's coming from."

Lily nodded slowly taking in all the information. "Even so, my life would be a lot simpler if I wasn't a witch."

Sirius looked at her curiously. "How so?"

"For starters, my sister wouldn't hate me. I'd be a part of her wedding party, maybe even her maid of honour like we'd planned when we were little. I could have continued my dancing, grown up to be a professional dancer or author or singer/songwriter or physicist or any of the careers I'd dreamed of when I was a little girl. Half of them were lost when I found out about Hogwarts and lost the opportunity to go to a regular high school and get my gcses and a levels like a muggle would. I also would have avoided the heartbreak my friendship with Severus brought, and I never would have met James Potter so I never would have experienced him tormenting me in the lower years or him ignoring me now. And furthermore, I wouldn't be a major target in a wizarding war!"

Black was silent for a beat, then spoke softly, so softly she could barely hear him over the rush of the rain. "Is being a part of the wizarding world really that bad for you?"

It was Lily's turn to be silent. Then, she slowly shook her head. "No, no, being a part of this world is amazing. In the muggle world you grow up hearing stories about princesses and magic lands and witches and wizards and it's all just a dream, and then to find out the dream is a reality for you, it, it completely changes your life and your perspective on the world around you. It's kind of hard to explain, because you grew up with magic, but growing up I believed that magic only belonged in stories, and then I found out that, no, actually it belonged in my life. So being a part of the wizarding world, having magic, is not a bad thing at all. But that doesn't change the fact that I probably would have kept more relationships had I not been born a witch."

Sirius studied her face, slowly noting where the raindrops differed from the tear tracks. "Honestly Lily," he began slowly. "I don't think you realise how many people love and care about you. You have so many friends, so many people willing to protect you. There's no way in hell I'm going to let some Death Eater kill you just to please some big headed tyrant. You're so caring, and kind, and all of the school know it, even the pesky Death Eater wannabes. You should give yourself more credit, Evans. You're the girl who I can talk to without fear of being laughed at, because even though Prongs is my best mate, he does have his prejudices. You however, don't have any of his prejudices and always give me a rational answer, be it about the Slytherins or my love life. Don't let this shitty feeling overtake your whole being."
Lily nodded, a small smile forming on her face.

"That being said, you probably shouldn't push it to the side either. If you do, it'll just resurface bigger than before, and probably at a time when you least want it to."

Lily breathed out a little laugh. "Sirius Black, when did you get so wise?"

He winked at her. "All those detentions with McGonagall. Her wisdom rubbed off onto me."

"Enough wisdom to stop you getting detentions?"

"Oh, Evans, there's not enough wisdom in the world for that."

This time, a full blown giggle erupted from Lily. Her laughter was contagious, so within a matter of seconds, Sirius was laughing as well. After a few minutes, their laughter had died down, and Sirius stood up, and offered a hand to help Lily up, which she took graciously.

"Thank you, Sirius." Lily spoke, her voice barely louder than the downpour.

"Anytime, Evans. Now, how 'bout we go and get warmed up? I bet I can get the elves to make us some hot chocolate, and I'll kick the third years out of the seats by the fire." Sirius grinned down at her, offering her his arm.

"What a gentleman." Lily exclaimed, as she took his arm, rolling her eyes all the while. "I'm glad I have a friend like you."