Prompt #1: Amanda Rollins and Elliot Stabler have a heart-to-heart at the SVU Thanksgiving Dinner
An Unexpected Friendship
~oOo~
This tradition started before her tenure—she has to keep reminding herself of that through gritted teeth and a painted-on smile.
Thanksgiving dinner with the squad, as the story goes, began in 2001. Ground Zero was still a disaster post-9/11, with many officers taking turns in shifts to help clear debris, transport evidence, direct traffic—whatever help was needed. While the SVU squad wasn't directly part of this effort, they held down the fort at the 1-6 around the clock, none of them comfortable with leaving each other or their brothers and sisters in blue. The fragility of life frayed their already shattered nerves, and the camaraderie of simply sharing the same space spoke volumes.
Thanksgiving, the first major holiday after the tragedy, was a forced affair for New York City, especially first responders. Cragen insisted everyone go home and be with their families; it had been over two months of overtime and stress, and they all needed a break.
Their break only lasted a matter of hours.
Munch was the first one back that evening, followed by Liv, Fin, and Stabler after he tucked his kids into bed. As each one entered the squad room, they quietly smiled in unsurprised resignation, all suspecting that one or all would be back. Cragen was last, armed with enough food to feed the entire squad, and they had a midnight buffet together, sharing stories, shedding stress, and enjoying each other's company.
Over the years, the tradition continued. It wasn't always at midnight on Thanksgiving (due to kids and cases and life), but they would pick a date in November and commit: find sitters and set cases aside for a couple of hours to think about what they were thankful for and share some much-needed laughs.
This year, there were several changes: new faces, old faces, and a larger grouping than usual. Amanda can't decide if she's content, annoyed, or devastated. Maybe a combination of all three.
She can't complain as she watches Sonny set up the conference room like a family table, adding a tablecloth and a giant cornucopia centerpiece (did he make that himself?) and smiling at her with that excited, childlike glee. He's the poster boy for innate Italian warmth, the belief that family is everything, and is practically bursting at the seams about this gathering, even more so now that they disclosed. Now that they are engaged.
Now that she survived a shooting. Now that she is choosing her happiness first.
Now that she is pregnant.
She holds her barely-there bump, thinking about the rest of the guest list. Liv, who orchestrated the entire dinner, emphasizing the importance: they have so much to be thankful for this year. Fin, Amanda's always partner and forever friend, her ride or die—the man she knows is struggling with her shooting but will never admit it, and instead brought her rotisserie chickens for old times sake and made her laugh so hard she almost popped a stitch. Velasco has proven himself this year, and Muncy is young but good; Amanda is growing fond of the woman she's taken under her wing. Ayanna and Jet are great, and she's glad they are joining them tonight.
She just wishes the table didn't include Elliot fucking Stabler.
In the twelve Thanksgivings that Amanda has been at SVU, Olivia has only missed one squad meal: Amanda's first, after Elliot's last. By the following year, Liv seemed to be forced into going (guilted by Cragen, she's sure of it), and gradually Amanda saw her relax as the years went by, finally settling into her new, ever-changing family.
Amanda knows Elliot is responsible for years of Liv's pain and heartbreak. However, Liv invited him tonight, along with his squad, and that means something.
She hates what it might mean.
Amanda cannot fathom Liv's forgiveness, her grace. How this man could ghost her for a decade and sweep back in like nothing happened, and although cautious, Liv seems accepting and gracious. Giving him chances he doesn't deserve, picking up the pieces of his life like it's her only job. Sitting through that horrible trial, listening to Angela on the stand, her fight with Barba. Amanda knows Liv is hurting but also knows that she's loved him and probably been in love with him for decades. It's both painful and cathartic to watch. Amanda's never seen this side of her before—not with Cassidy or Tucker, and she's beginning to understand why Liv has kept her heart so protected.
It always belonged to him.
But how could he plan to show up at her awards dinner like a decade hadn't passed, give her a pat on the back and a congrats before catching a red-eye back to his naïve Italian life? Why did Fin think it was such a great idea to call him now, after all this time? The circumstances turned tragic, and after her most recent brush with death, she wouldn't wish Elliot's pain on anyone. But now he's here, apparently staying for good, and he's a thorn in Amanda's side.
Liv deserves more, in her opinion, but it doesn't matter because Liv wants him. So Amanda's tried to be the kind friend, the suggestive friend, the fiercely protective friend, to try to get her to open up, but Liv is playing her emotions close to the vest.
And now Liv and Fin were pulled into a last-minute phone conference with McGrath in her office, Velasco and Muncy left to pick up the food Liv ordered, Sonny's already shooed her out twice because he wants her to rest and relax, and Jet and Ayanna haven't arrived yet.
But Elliot has just strolled in, armed with flowers no less, and now she has to play nice.
"Liv's stuck with McGrath." She knows she sounds bitchy, she didn't even greet him hello, so she chases her outburst with a terse smile.
Elliot's warm grin disarms her. "Yeah, she texted me. She added several colorful emojis for emphasis." He looks past her, hearing whistling coming from the conference room. "Uh, is that Carisi back there?"
Amanda laughs, despite herself, before quickly retreating into her icy shell. "Yeah, he's getting everything ready. I'd send you back there, but he's insisting on setting everything up himself."
If Elliot is tense he doesn't show it, which irks her even more. For some reason, she feels determined to get under his skin tonight. Maybe it's time to play the overly aggressive friend. She watches as he places the flowers down on Velasco's desk, carefully avoiding her own, and removes his jacket, casually tossing it over a chair. He looks good, dammit, perhaps a bit overdressed for their casual squad room meal, but she can tell he's putting in an effort for Liv.
"How are you doing since the shooting?"
Amanda isn't expecting the personal question and she's not sure how she feels about it. "Fine. Good. I mean, the wound is pretty much healed—almost back to 100%."
"That's good. How 'bout mentally? They make you see the shrink?"
She nods, eyeing him warily. "Uh, yeah, I went to a few sessions. I'm good."
Elliot lets out a noise she can't identify. "All the times I was hurt—I think that was the worst part—seeing the shrink. I avoided Huang like the plague."
At that, she snickers. Isn't that the truth.
"Well, who needs a shrink when we have Liv, right?" It's pointed, but she realizes they both have something in common. She can't fault him for it unless she also blames herself. He nods and, for the first time, looks uncomfortable in her presence.
"How long have you been at SVU?"
Ugh, time for small talk. Amanda looks over at Olivia's closed door, sighing. "Twelve years. The same amount of time you put in, right."
Elliot nods, and Amanda can see he's doing the mental math, recognizing that she must have started right after he left.
"Do you know what Liv thought of me when I first started?" Amanda waits for his curious glance to cast her way. "She hated me."
Elliot furrows his brow. "Strong word."
"She hated me because she refused to hate you." She watches him physically bristle, which adds fuel to her rant. "God, Liv was so angry at everyone—Munch, Fin, Cragen, but especially me and Nick."
His eyes cloud over with a look she can't identify. "Nick?"
She smirks. "Nick Amaro—her partner. Your replacement." She knows that line hurts based on the deep crease in the bridge of his nose, and she's pretty proud of herself for delivering it with a straight face. She should play nice for Liv's sake, but she's a ball buster.
"You know, Fin keeps saying to give you a chance. That I don't know you. But I do, Stabler. I know your ghost. The shadow of Elliot Stabler. It stayed in this squad room for years. Olivia lived in it, refused to walk away from you. Wore your mini badge on the butt of her gun and your damn medallion around her neck. Even when you left her, she was yours. Even when–"
She stops abruptly, shaking her head. Not her place, and she knows it.
"Anyway, we all lived with the shadow of you in that squad room. It took a while, but eventually, Liv relaxed, and we bonded. She's my best friend. Godmother to my girls. I hate what I'm doing to her."
"What are you doing to her?"
Shit. She didn't mean to project her feelings onto Stabler, but now she's in deep. "Well, you're looking at Sergeant Rollins."
His face is warm and sparkling, and she's beginning to see why it's easy to fall in love with Elliot Stabler. His pride seeps from his pores, and he barely knows her. She can only imagine his face when he found out about Captain Olivia Benson.
"Amanda, that's great. Congratulations."
"Yeah, I'm happy. After what happened, I realized it was time for a change. Something less in the field, you know? So I'm transferring to Computer Crimes after Christmas."
Elliot smirks. "Did Liv tell you she worked in Computer Crimes?"
"She did. Just for a bit, right?"
"Yeah…just for a bit." His eyes travel to a faraway place, and he appears sad and wistful.
"But it's bittersweet, you know? Everyone leaves her. Cragen and Munch retired. Amaro left, Kat and Garland left. People died. It's been a revolving door. I think she's so used to it, she doesn't even bother taking the walls down. Hell, it took her years before she let her guard down with Noah—she was always so worried that they would take him from her like the judge made some colossal mistake. She won't let herself be happy because we all keep leaving her."
She sees Elliot gaping at her, and she freezes, worried that she's said too much. Shit, did Stabler even know that Noah's adopted?
"Listen, I'm not sure how much Liv has told you about her life since you've been gone—I didn't mean to overstep."
"No, no—it's okay. I won't say anything. I didn't know about Noah." He smiles and barks out a small, prideful laugh. "I always told her they were wrong." Amanda's face reads confusion so he continues. "She tried to be a foster parent when we were partners, and they told her she 'wasn't prime parent material'. What a crock of shit, right?"
Now it's Amanda's turn to gape. "She never told me that. No wonder she was so hesitant."
Elliot glances towards Olivia's office. "I can tell she's the best mom. She waited her whole life for him."
She sees it then, all-encompassing and whole: the love, adoration, and devotion he carries in his heart for Liv. That should make her feel better, but instead, it infuriates her more. Arms folded neatly across her chest, she tosses her head back in an incredulous, biting laugh.
"God, Stabler, why did you leave?"
~oOo~
"We should go out there. I'm afraid to know what they're talking about."
"No, keep watching. This is too good."
"We've been done for ten minutes, Fin."
"I know, but you gotta let this play out, Liv. Let them bond."
"Bond? Is that what they're doing?"
"Just trust me, okay?"
~oOo~
"It's complicated."
Amanda turns her heels at that in frustration, and Elliot quickly interjects. "No, I'm not deflecting, it's just…I've spent ten years trying to put it into words, and I still can't explain it. I've already burned so many bridges with her, even more so since I've been back. Once I find the right words, she needs to be the first to hear them, you know?"
She narrows her eyes; a cross-examination. "Were you ever planning to see her again?"
"Yes. I didn't mean for it to take so long."
"And what, you were going to come to her awards ceremony and leave her again?"
"No."
"No?!"
"No. I wasn't planning to return to Rome." He offers no additional explanation and she doesn't need one.
Amanda knows she has a choice to make. She could make life difficult for Elliot, or she could help him out. After everything she's gone through over the past few months, she doesn't give it a second thought.
Life's too short.
"Stabler, you know Liv. Stop trying to find the right words and just tell her the truth. Show her the truth."
"That's where you're wrong. I don't know her anymore, and I've been pretending this whole time that she's the same Liv as before. I wanted to believe that, y'know? But she's changed, and I'm trying to get to know this Liv. And I'm doing a shit job."
She walks past him, picking up the bouquet, a gorgeous mix of stunning fall florals. "These are a good start. She needs more color in her life."
Their smiles are small, but for the first time, hers is genuine. That seems to throw Elliot off guard, and he stammers an emotional reply.
"Rollins, I'm glad she has you. And that she has a squad that has her back. Thanks for keeping her safe for me."
She looks at him then, really looks at him, realizing he truly doesn't know about what happened to Liv, and that breaks her heart. With tears pooling in her eyes, she whispers, "We tried, but we weren't you."
~oOo~
"It's looking too serious out there."
"Liv, give 'em five more minutes."
"Ugh, I want to get closer and read lips."
"We need to keep pretending we're on this call with McGrath. They need this, Liv. Let Amanda interrogate him."
"Is that what's happening?"
Fin grins. "Stabler needs to face the Rollins firing squad if we are ever going to be one big happy family."
She shoots him a look and nudges his side.
~oOo~
"Something happened."
It's not a question but a confirmation, and Amanda knows her eyes give it away just as her voice did moments ago.
Elliot sighs, dropping himself on the edge of Velasco's desk. "During the Wheatley trial, she called me out and said I hadn't asked her about one thing that's happened to her since I left. To her. And since then I've been petrified. I told her I wanted to know, but she hasn't told me."
"She will. Give her more time. I'm surprised no one has said anything to you." He glances away, and she reads the recognition immediately. "Someone already has."
"No, not exactly. The fucking Brotherhood—one of the guys alluded to something. If you can believe it, Frank shut the guy up, talked me out of racing to Liv for confirmation, said she'll tell me when she's ready."
"Well, I guess he was good for something."
"Can you answer one question? Did she have people…support…?" He's teary and borderline panicked, and she holds up a hand to try and stop his spiral.
"Yeah, we were all here. Me, Fin, Cragen, Munch, Amaro, Cassidy. We all took care of her."
"Cassidy? Brian?"
She knows she makes an oh shit face again because Elliot chuckles quietly. "I guess there's a lot I need to catch up on." It's light, but she senses an air of protective jealousy, and she chuckles in return.
"You know, if you never left, there's a chance I might not have ever worked here, met Liv, met Sonny. So, I guess I should thank you?"
"Nah, you would have still been here. There's always a reason." He glances up as if indicating a higher power, his Catholicism on full display. "You and Liv were meant to become friends, and you were meant to be at SVU."
"You and I would have hated each other."
"Absolutely."
They both laugh at the banter, truthful, wholesome, honest laughter, and Amanda wonders if maybe there's a friendship brewing between them based on their mutual love for Liv.
"You're a great detective, and you are going to be a great sergeant."
"Thanks. And just so you know, Stabler, you're the missing piece. I don't think I've ever seen Olivia like this before. Like her universe finally has shifted back into place. Like she can take a deep breath, for the first time in years."
They both glance toward Liv's office, and Amanda sees Fin and Liv quickly look down at her computer. "Uh, Detective Stabler, if I didn't know any better—"
"—I'd say we've been in a fishbowl for a little bit, Sergeant Rollins."
They both stare until Fin dares to look up, a shit-eating grin on his face. All three burst into laughter while Liv brings her hand up to her face in embarrassment.
"Oh, this is going to be a fun night." She looks over at Elliot, offering her hand for a friendly handshake. "Happy Thanksgiving, Stabler. Welcome back to the 1-6."
Elliot shakes her hand gratefully. "Happy Thanksgiving, Rollins. Thank you."
Fin and Liv step out of her office, and Amanda hands Elliot his flowers, wiping away a tear. A cacophony of activity surrounds them as everyone seems to appear at once—Sonny wrapping his arms around Amanda from behind before leaning forward to shake Stabler's hand; Velasco and Muncy appearing from the ding of the elevator doors armed with boxes of food, Ayanna and Jet in tow. Everyone is chatty, exchanging hellos, handshakes, and hugs, basking in camaraderie and friendship.
Amanda takes it all in, her squad, her family, and watches as Stabler hands Liv the flowers, Liv blushing and grinning before pulling him into a hug. Amanda's never seen Liv like this before, relaxed and warm and flirty, and it looks good on her, being in love.
She knows that change is difficult–this year she's made the hardest decisions of her life and the easiest ones as well. Choosing happiness, choosing love, choosing paths of self-care and healing. Choosing to support her friends and now choosing to accept new ones.
There's a lot to be thankful for this year.
Note: The author of this SVU: Fall in Love story will be revealed in November
