FALLING THROUGH THE CRACKS 暗闇へ落ちてく
Falling through the cracks, falling down to the darkness
あなたのその手を絶対話さない
I will definitely not let go of that hand of yours
TELL ME THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE まだ道の途中
Tell me the story of your life, we're still halfway
あなたをわたしは絶対諦めない
I will definitely not give up on you
— "カラノココロ (Kara no Kokoro)" by Anly
Sasuke found it disconcerting, really. He had been haunting Naruto's apartment for six days now.
Six days of sharing every meal.
Six days of changing each other's bandages.
Six nights of sharing a bed.
Six days of reading in silence.
Six days of stilted conversation.
Six days without much in the way of conflict, contrary to all of Sasuke's expectations.
He felt like he'd been holding his breath for six days, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
In the past, his days had been filled with tension. His own. His teammates'. Every moment was always building toward something, and there had never been any moment of peace to be found, amongst that. Even waiting had been about tension- whether he'd been healing or biding time before some sort of reconnaissance report. The waiting had always been unbearable, but it'd always had a purpose, in the end.
The dreamlike existence within the walls of Naruto's home… it was unbearable in a different way, that was hard to put his finger on. His purpose here was vague, at best. He wasn't sure what he even waited for. Their eventual discovery, perhaps, but that felt more inevitable than anything Sasuke was actively anticipating. He thought it would be a while, anyway- if no one had managed to detect him here, at the seat of the nation's strength and power, after all this time, it was unlikely to happen anytime soon. As long as he was intentionally masking his presence, the way Karin'd showed him. No, Sasuke suspected it was more likely their hidden cohabitation would be uncovered by accident rather than any sort of competence on the part of those hunting him. Still, it remained only a matter of time.
Naruto received surprisingly few visitors. For someone who seemed to have touched so many hearts and minds over the years. Not once had anyone just… dropped by to see him. The way Sasuke had. Perhaps it was due to the very recent war, and everyone who would have visited spending the time recovering, and allowing Naruto time to recover, in turn. Sasuke actually wasn't certain how many had even returned to the Village by then. Who knew how many loose ends had been left, once the fighting was over? All of Naruto's friends could have still been out there, cleaning up the mess.
Or perhaps it explained why Naruto had only a single dining chair.
Sasuke suspected, but he couldn't assume. Outside of the strange, quiet bubble they'd created in this apartment, he continued to realize he didn't know Naruto anymore. Not the way he used to.
Either way, Sasuke was intimately familiar with tension. And there was certainly tension here, in that small, peaceful space, and it was building toward something. Something important. Something that would change things forever, he was certain.
His heart felt like a desert desperately wanting for a storm. So, he let the tension build and hoped for a monsoon.
Probably because Sasuke put the thought out in the universe, after one week, Naruto glanced up suddenly from his reading and frowned toward the door.
The abrupt motion caught Sasuke's eye immediately and he found himself following Naruto's gaze, uncertain what could have drawn the blond's attention in such a way. Sasuke on his own didn't possess the sensory ability to glean anything from the observation, and any techniques to help him would have disrupted his chakra masking efforts.
He looked back at Naruto.
His friend's eyes closed as he went very still.
The tell-tale sage markings appeared less than a minute later- Sasuke could admit it was a little impressive, the speed at which Naruto was able to accumulate natural energy for the change, even without the Kyuubi's aid. Before he could comment, Naruto's eyes snapped open once more and he was launching himself swiftly off the bed.
"What is it?" Sasuke asked from his spot on the floor against the far wall, marking his place in the book and setting it aside.
Naruto was shucking the pajamas he'd never changed out of and clumsily pulling on a shirt and sweatpants that had been folded on top of the cabinet. Not his typical mission wear, Sasuke noted, so presumably it wasn't any sort of threat that had worked Naruto up.
"Um, I just need to-" Naruto cut himself off as he dove under the bed, searching for something. He emerged from the other side with a huff and turned toward his meager closet. After a few seconds of digging, he pulled away with his sandals gripped in one hand, "I have to go. Just for a minute."
He plopped down on the floor as Sasuke rose, approaching unhurried, "You sensed something."
Naruto grunted something like affirmation around the sandal now clenched between his teeth, focused on his struggle to pull the other on with one hand.
Sasuke crouched next to him, and Naruto glanced up in surprise as Sasuke grasped the sole of the shoe, pushing to give his friend the leverage to tug the stiff leather over his heel. He did up the straps as Naruto merely blinked at him, vacantly.
Sasuke took the other shoe out of Naruto's mouth, "Who was it?"
Repeating the same process with the second sandal, Naruto hesitated before answering, "Sakura-chan. I think she's coming here."
That explained why Naruto had been able to sense her chakra, even outside of his Sage Mode. There probably wasn't a chakra signature on this planet he knew better than those of their team.
"What makes you think she's headed this way?" He asked as Naruto stood, striding purposefully toward the door.
"She hates this area of town," Naruto said as he pulled an orange and black jacket over the loose mesh shirt he'd thrown on.
That, Sasuke understood. She'd hated it when they were children, too, whenever they'd had reason to venture over to Naruto's place. It was certainly a part of town she'd likely been taught to avoid. Naruto's apartment being less than a block away from the Village's Red-Light District, full of brothels and other seedier establishments. It made a certain amount of sense, that the rebuilding process had thus far followed the same blueprint as before the attack, but Sasuke still didn't know why Naruto'd elected to continue to live in the same area he'd grown up in. It was one of many questions Sasuke hasn't had the courage to voice, yet. He wondered vaguely if Sakura knew the answer.
"I'm going to head her off," Naruto continued on, pausing at the door to glance back at him, "I don't know what she wants, so I don't know when I'll be back. Need anything while I'm out?"
It was another one of those moments of outrageous normalcy that made Sasuke's head spin. He couldn't seem to get this throat to work right, so he simply shook his head. Naruto was out the door a moment later.
Sasuke stared at the door for a good five minutes once he'd gone. He figured Naruto would either return right away, or he'd be gone the rest of the afternoon.
Naruto'd been gone less than an hour before Sasuke realized Naruto had never bothered to ask whether or not Sasuke wanted their teammate to know he was here. He had either assumed Sasuke wasn't ready to see her, or Naruto hadn't wanted her to know.
Sasuke wanted to know which possibility it was, but at this point he knew he wouldn't ask.
"Oh shit," Naruto swore, all of a sudden. There was little urgency to it, and Sasuke simply glanced over toward where Naruto had been reading, sprawled over the bed across the room. His friend stared into the middle distance, gaze faraway and book discarded, hand now preoccupied, trailing over his stomach. Naruto pulled his shirt up and they both watched as the inky lines of the seal bleed into his bare skin, "Bout time that bastard woke up."
Naruto didn't elaborate further, and anything Sasuke would have had to say to that was forgotten as his friends' eyes grew unfocused, Naruto presumably withdrawing into the Kyuubi's prison. Sasuke considered following out of curiosity, but Naruto's clear wishes after he'd arrived had him dismissing the thought. They'd miraculously managed to avoid any undo confrontation so far, and Sasuke felt no need to disrupt that fragile truce. He turned back to his own paperback in silence, waiting.
Sooner than Sasuke expected, Naruto's consciousness resurfaced from that place, face screwed up in indignation. All of a sudden, Naruto looked furious.
"Well, no one asked you, ya know! Butt the fuck out, would ya!" And with that, Naruto shook himself all over, not unlike a dog. After a few beats, Naruto seemed to remember he'd had an audience for that… disturbing lapse, "Ah, sorry. Kurama doesn't know when to shut his damn mouth sometimes."
Sasuke cocked his head to the side, "He lets you talk to him like that?"
Naruto snorted, "The fuck is he gonna do about it?" Appearing completely unbothered, Naruto picked up his book, slumping back against the pillows once more.
Sasuke watched for another moment as his friend's face contorted again, nose scrunching in irritation, and he could only wonder what the Kyuubi'd had to say to that. He didn't ask- Naruto would probably tell him it was none of his business anyway.
Instead, he posed the question that slipped through his mind during many of those quiet moments. A question he'd been molding the courage to ask for days.
"I don't remember you doing that, when we were kids," he asked, out of nowhere and then kicked himself. That hadn't been clear at all, "Reading books, that is."
Naruto hummed thoughtfully, sounding unaffected, but Sasuke was watching his face closely enough to notice the tightness around his eyes when he said, "That's because I couldn't read."
His voice sounded carefully unbothered, at the same time refusing so much as glance in Sasuke's direction. For his part, Sasuke struggled with how to respond. He'd had no idea.
How does someone become a ninja without being able to read?
"Iruka-sensei taught me a little, eventually. While we were in the Academy," Naruto admitted, when Sasuke failed to respond, "But he didn't have a lot of extra time back then, so it was really just the basics. I didn't know enough kanji to get through like, books or anything, so I just… didn't bother with it."
"That explains your terrible grades," Sasuke said, and then immediately wanted to kick himself. He kept his face as neutral as possible, thoroughly embarrassed at his own tactlessness.
Naruto just snorted, "A bit, maybe. I really- I really just wasn't very good, I think."
"I'm surprised you're willing to admit it," Sasuke said, taken aback by the frank admission.
"Well now they're calling me the strongest ninja in the world, so that takes away the sting a bit," Naruto laughed, but he sounded too solemn for his words.
They were quiet for a bit, but Sasuke had the feeling neither of them had returned to their reading at all.
Eventually, Naruto's soft murmur broke the silence, "Jiraiya's the one who taught me, properly. Just a few years ago."
Naruto'd spoken little of the mentor he spent years traveling with, in Sasuke's time here. It made him think of it like a deep, unhealed wound Naruto was afraid of him touching upon. It was a fair assessment- it wasn't as if Sasuke had gone out of his way to bring up Itachi, after all.
Before Sasuke could figure out what he could possibly say in response to that, Naruto continued of his own volition, "He wanted me to edit those stupid novels of his and was pretty offended when I kept having to ask what different characters meant. For a couple months, he- we spent more time on that then my training, really. I was so frustrated at the time, I wanted to get stronger so badly and reading just felt like such a waste of time. And he'd get frustrated too, because… well, I was a horrible student. But now… those are some of my favorite memories of him. Because no one else had really bothered, before. Not the way he did."
Sasuke's chest felt stuffed with cotton. It was the most Naruto had opened up to him, thus far, about anything that mattered to him, rather than expertly diverting the subject. Sasuke was suddenly abjectly terrified of doing something to make Naruto regret it.
"Itachi taught me to mend clothes," Sasuke said, out of nowhere, and felt just as surprised as Naruto looked at the admission. He stared resolutely at the pages of the novel in his lap, as he barreled on, "When I was little, I kept asking him to train me. But he insisted on trying to teach me other things. I got mad and rarely listened to him," He took a deep breath, unsure of where the words were coming from, but Naruto was listening and he fought to keep them coming, "Those are the things I wish I could remember, now."
Naruto hummed again, and it sounded less conflicted this time, "He seemed like he would have been a good teacher."
"He was terrible," Sasuke insisted, finally turning to face Naruto, "He was so good at everything, he had no idea how to explain it to someone else, trying to learn. I had to figure most of it out on my own. But I liked having him teach me anyway."
A few minutes ago, he'd been so amused by Naruto fussing over his tailed beast. Now, he felt choked by the memories of his brother. It was so out of nowhere it felt like he's being crushed by it. Thinking about Itachi… brought up so much other shit. He felt the old, unshed tears, behind his eyes but did not let them go further than that. He just wanted to not think about it. He was ruining everything.
"Hey," Naruto said, and Sasuke looked over at him again, grateful for the distraction. He hadn't even realized he'd looked away, "Thank you for telling me that stuff."
With that Sasuke felt like he was being crushed for a whole different reason, but at least he didn't feel like crying anymore.
After the Kyuubi awoke, Naruto's sleep habits seemed to stabilize.
He no longer spent half the day in a state between drowsing and waking. Sasuke hadn't understood the bone deep exhaustion that had been dragging his friend, until it was gone. It had only been a day, and suddenly Naruto was practically bouncing off the walls.
"I think I'm going to train for a bit, after meeting with Baa-chan," Naruto told him, as he squirmed into a t-shirt, half arm flailing as it tried to find the sleeve, "And I'll probably stop by Ichiraku's on my way back. I'll bring you some Tonkatsu."
Sasuke grunted absently, tossing Naruto's sandals in his general direction. The idiot could never seem to find them on his own without tearing the apartment apart, and Sasuke wasn't in the mood to pick up after him today. For the first time, he was eager for Naruto to leave. The relentless high energy had been ceaseless today and Sasuke was irritated- the blond hadn't been able to sit still long enough to read his latest book for longer than a few minutes before his attention would shift and he'd be talking Sasuke's ear off while he was trying to read in peace.
"I wonder if Lee's in the Village right now?" Naruto continued to muse aloud as he delicately angled his sweatpants to slide them on one leg at a time, "I could use some taijutsu practice. Or maybe Hinata?"
Sasuke knew Naruto knew Sasuke was the last person who'd be aware of the comings and goings of the Village ninja, so he ignored his friends' muttering and squinted down at his current page, trying to sink back into the words.
"Haven't seen Iruka-sensei yet… Is he still in Kumo, or what? Is he taking a vacation?!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke watched Naruto pace in front of the door, picking up weapons and putting them down like he couldn't make up his mind about them.
"You're going to be late for your appointment," Sasuke reminded him testily. Naruto was an electrical storm in his current state and Sasuke needed a goddamn break.
Naruto ignored his patient reminder, turning to Sasuke with his arms spread wide, "I wish we could go spar or something. How are you not going crazy right now? I feel crazy, staying in here all day!"
"I feel like the rest of my arm will fall off if I even look at kunai," Sasuke cut in, dryly, "So you can just forget about it."
"Ugh," Naruto groaned, and actually looked like he might start climbing the walls at any moment.
"Just get out of here," Sasuke gritted out, narrowing his eyes on the page to keep them from twitching in annoyance.
Naruto cut him a shrewd look, out of nowhere. It's awful, how Naruto seemed to read him like a book sometimes when Sasuke felt like he was learning a foreign language these days.
"Am I stressing you out or something?"
"No," Sasuke denied automatically. As if Naruto could stress him out, of all things, "Just annoying."
"Huh," Naruto said, gaze still sharp, "Alright, I'm off."
He breezed out the door like a whirlwind, and suddenly the apartment is shrouded in blessed silence. It wasn't just his chatter that had been echoing through the space- Naruto's mere presence was loud enough to rattle windows.
Sasuke relished the quiet for all of five minutes before he had to suppress the urge to follow the idiot.
His heart just couldn't make up its mind and it was giving him a headache.
He immediately busied himself to suppress any other stupid, sentimental thoughts that felt like making themselves known.
He finally put away Naruto's laundry. After the laundry, he sorted their small library of books by author and then resorted them by title. After the books, he found a needle and thread in Naruto's bedside table and stitched the tears in the one set of clothes he'd arrived with. After his mending, he cleared Naruto's fridge of spoiled food. After the fridge, he showered. He read some, but his focus was shot and he gave up after reading the same paragraph three times and retaining none of it. Grumpy and unfocused and aching- he hadn't been lying, his healing arm had him feeling like shit warmed over, and all the physical activity had left it throbbing. He couldn't even replace the stupid bandages after his shower because Naruto wasn't there to help him.
Suddenly, he detected Naruto's familiar chakra, a distant but intense cloud, exploding like a supernova.
Sasuke's heartbeat quickened, but there were no corresponding bursts of chakra from other ninja in the area or sounds of catastrophe outside, so Sasuke reigned in the instinct to burst into action. Shadow clones, he decided, analyzing the small horde of chakra points he could focus on like small, distinct stars before his awareness began to fade- he really had little natural sensory ability to fall back on. It could have been the Godaime checking Naruto's healing progress. It could have been Naruto training with Lee, or someone else. It could have been Sasuke just needed to forget the anxiety building in his chest and ask Naruto later instead of perseverating on the moron's every act like… like... he didn't know. Like someone obsessed. He wasn't obsessed with Naruto. He had plenty else to occupy himself with, thank you.
When was the idiot planning on coming home anyway?
Cabin fever, he thought to himself. That would explain it. The driving need to get out and go find the idiot, figure out what he was up to. Be near him. That was a reasonable explanation. An explanation that calmed Sasuke's nerves. Of course, he was going stir crazy, he hadn't left Naruto's small collection of rooms in over a week. Anyone would start to lose their marbles under those circumstances.
Cabin fever.
The silence was so loud now, it felt like there was a hoard of cicada baring down on him. It made his teeth hurt.
This wasn't healthy, he thought, absently.
He couldn't be sure how long he spent, sitting on Naruto's floor, attempting to willfully sense Naruto's chakra somewhere out there, distant and bright, and thinking himself to death- but before he fully realized the passage of time, his friend was stumbling through the door once more.
Naruto blinked at Sasuke, looking surprised as he slumped against the door after he'd shut it behind him.
"Have you moved at all, you lazy bum?" Naruto's voice sounded strained. Sasuke zeroed in on it instantly, for want of any other stimuli. He was on his feet before realizing it.
"Are you hurt?"
Now Naruto looked pained, in addition to sounding it, "Ah- not. Not really?" He sighed, "Baa-chan said somethin' like this might happen, and I might've… overdone it today. With th' clones," he mumbled.
Sasuke approached, surveying him for injury, "What happened?"
Naruto snorted, "Healing," Sasuke merely raised an eyebrow once his assessment turned up no obvious damage, "It's jus' the-" He lifted his stump and waved it around with a grimace.
"What's wrong with it?" Sasuke asked, reaching for it, eyeing the pink healing skin visible between the unraveling bandages- it appeared weeks more healed than Sasuke's own, now that the Kyuubi's healing had kicked in.
"Don't- don't touch it, ya know!" Naruto hissed at him, pulling away and throwing his remaining hand out to hold Sasuke at bay.
Fingers dug into Sasuke's chest, warm and firm, and he thought this might have been the first time Naruto'd touched him intentionally, without a hint of aggression, in nine days, "It's normal, she says- I just gotta wait for it to pass. 'S like I have pins n' needles in my arm but I don't have an arm- ugh."
Phantom pains, Sasuke realized. He'd heard a great deal about it during his time with Orochimaru and his ilk. Kabuto had been studying it extensively due to his master's rather atypical form of amputation. For all chakra amputation was unusual in itself, apparently the effects were rather like that of more traditional methods. Sasuke had assumed it was something they'd both have to deal with as their limbs recovered.
"Sit down," Sasuke said as he turned away, "I'll start on dinner."
He heard a heavy huff of breath, "Don't think 'm hungry. Jus' wanna sleep until the pain goes away."
"Alright," Sasuke replied, "There'll be dinner when you wake up, then."
Naruto tossed and turned fussily for the fifteen minutes Sasuke spent preparing food before a thick sigh erupted from the area of the bed. He clocked a particularly loud groan from the mattress springs before it went abruptly quiet and Sasuke thought the idiot must have finally fallen asleep. Sasuke turned on a lamp- it had just begun to get dark outside, and the idiot's sleep schedule would be fucked again at this rate.
With the room illuminated properly, Sasuke could see Naruto was not sleeping.
Sitting upright on the bed, Naruto sat as still as the grave- eyes closed, his one fist curled gently in his lap. Meditating.
He'd known Naruto had the ability- his Sage Mode capability spoke for itself. Sasuke'd seen the results for himself enough times by now to know it was far from a fluke. It was just- he'd never been able to picture it. He'd never seen his teammate so still and quiet before, outside of actual slumber- and even in slumber, Naruto snored and shuffled and shifted, in perpetual motion.
Sasuke felt the buzz of natural energy filling the small space as orange pigment began to stain Naruto's eyelids. He turned off the hot plate burner and watched silently for a few more minutes before Naruto released a long breath.
And unfolded as if he strings had been cut, sprawled across the bed and snoring before his head hit the pillow.
Sasuke snorted, turning back to his task- focus coming effortlessly now.
"Alright, bastard," Naruto announced once the door closed behind him, two more shopping bags clutched in his hand, "It's been like two weeks or something we've been stewing in our own juices here. It's time to clean."
Sasuke glanced up from where he'd been preparing lunch- he was getting good at navigating the kitchen one handed and no longer felt the need to reserve his efforts for when Naruto wasn't around to see witness them. The apartment wasn't dirty, per se, but it was true that they'd been lazing around the place for twelve days already doing little more than tidying up whatever small messes cropped up in their wake. Thinking about the need to clean up after himself was another one of those strange little necessities of stationary life that had Sasuke's heart stuttering behind his ribs- arrhythmic and off balance.
Naruto made an abbreviated gesture around the bag handles, and suddenly there were six Narutos crowding the tiny living space. Sasuke flinched, eyeing the shadow clones warily as the original Naruto handed off his bags to the two closest.
When he had learned how to create shadow clones with a one-handed seal, Sasuke wasn't sure. Neither he nor Naruto had attempted to use any ninjutsu in the time they'd spent at the apartment.
"How-" Sasuke began to ask as the clones dispersed throughout the tiny living space without a word, pulling cleaning supplies from each other's bags and distributing them amongst themselves.
He gave up on finishing his thought as one of the clones shoved a bottle and brush into his hand.
"You're on toilet duty, asshole," Naruto informed him cheerily as he accepted a dust cloth from one of the clones and made his way toward one of the windows.
Sasuke cleaned the toilet; he couldn't really think of a reason to argue about it.
For once, Sasuke had chosen to spread himself out across the bed for his reading that afternoon. He had to admit, it was more comfortable than his self-designated spot on the floor, underneath the window on the far wall. He'd grown so used to constant discomfort the last five years- why Orochimaru insisted on beds made of stone in all his hideouts, Sasuke had no idea- it hadn't occurred to him to seek out something softer when it was available.
It had been… Sasuke would dare to call it a good morning. He'd woken to the sounds of Naruto preparing breakfast for once. It wasn't that Naruto never contributed to their meals together, but he far more often prepared dinner, since he unsurprisingly insisted upon making ramen more often than not. Sasuke's concession to that was limiting the noodles to just one meal a day. On this particular morning, as Sasuke discretely rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he glanced over and caught sight Naruto working diligently over a softly sizzling pan, face screwed up on concentration as he went through the distinctive motions of rolling tamagoyaki, of all things.
It had been a pleasant surprise. More of a surprise had been when Sasuke's chopsticks cut into the delicately rolled omelet and found flecks and slivers soft red fruit inside.
Sasuke chose not to comment on Naruto quietly adding tomatoes to their breakfast, though he couldn't deny that the gesture had made him marginally more receptive to the blond's prattling throughout the meal. He'd even been surprised to find Naruto's babbling more interesting than the typical drivel Naruto chattered about, since his friend still shied away from any topic with a hint of substance. No, Sasuke was reluctantly fascinated to hear about Myobokuzan, where apparently Naruto had learned to cook something other than instant food for the first time. Granted, most of the ingredients had consisted of bugs and various species of fungi, but Naruto insisted that once you figured out the corresponding palatable ingredients, the techniques were exactly the same. Sasuke found the story, and the mental picture of Naruto being tutored on culinary techniques by a tiny toad woman, unexpectedly engrossing.
Sasuke had been the one using the bed for table seating during breakfast that morning, and when Naruto left to respond to a summons from the Godaime immediately after, Sasuke hadn't moved. Alone in the apartment, and his book on the table beside him, it had suddenly seemed silly to venture all the way across the room, when he was so comfortable here. So, he didn't.
On his back, his one good arm held the book above his eyes as he drank in the words. Between the bright sunlight cutting between the blinds, and the soft bustle of Konoha drifting in from the cracked window, Sasuke was dangerously comfortable. Regrettable, really, as it meant he was entirely unprepared for the startling sound of Naruto barreling back into the apartment, door banging into the wall hard enough to dent the plaster before he slammed it closed once more. The unexpected racket shocked Sasuke badly enough his fingers spasmed around the book, causing him to drop it, and only his preternatural reflexes allowed him to twist his head out of the way and spare him the further indignity of a book to the face.
Naruto didn't seem to notice the effect of his commotion, thankfully, as he stormed across the small room and threw himself down on the bed. Sasuke only barely moved his legs out of the way in time to avoid Naruto's slump.
Not giving Sasuke the chance to gripe about the ruckus, Naruto groaned loudly, covering his with his hand.
Without having to be asked, Naruto explained himself, "I think they're getting suspicious."
Sasuke frowned, picking up his novel and carefully marking his place before setting it aside, "What did you do?"
"Nothing, ya know!" Naruto pouted, peeking from underneath his hand toward Sasuke, "But everyone's wondering when I'll be ready to join the search party and I'm running out of reasons to say no."
"Search for who?" Sasuke asked. Naruto didn't usually feel the need to keep him abreast on the Village's business, so Sasuke found himself out of the loop.
"You!" Naruto groused, "Anyone in good enough shape is tearing Rice Fields, Frost, and Fire Countries apart to find you, and they want me out there with clones to cover more distance."
Sasuke supposed he shouldn't have been surprised, but the scale of the efforts Naruto described was disconcerting, "Don't they have other things to worry about, at a time like this?"
"You'd think," His friend grumbled, turning over onto his stomach, burying his face in the blankets, "But apparently we made a bit of an impression on the other Kage during the fight, because they really don't like the idea of you running around out there with your 'allegiance in question'. Baa-chan is under a lot of pressure right now, if she wants to keep the Alliance together now that the war's over."
Sasuke thought about that for a moment, "Then why aren't you going?"
"Are you kidding me?" Naruto turned his head to glare at Sasuke, "I don't need to go looking for you anymore- you're right here!"
"They don't know that."
"But I don't want to," Naruto whined petulantly, drawing his limbs inward to curl up on top of the sheets and stare at Sasuke imploringly.
"If you don't, they'll—"
"And then what will you do, huh?" Naruto asked, cutting him off, "Do you have money? Will Konohamaru bring you groceries? Are you now a sensor-nin who can tell when someone's going to burst in here, all of a sudden?"
"I'm not helpless, you know," Sasuke growled, also drawing his legs in from their half sprawl to wrap his arm around them, "I managed to get into Village with no one finding me. I don't need you to look after me all the time."
"Of course you're not helpless," Naruto rolled his eyes, "But wouldn't it complicate things, if I left now? You just came back, y'know."
"It sounds like this is more about you than it is about me."
"Do you want me to leave?" Naruto frowned, turning onto his back, restlessly, "Not to keep them from catching us— do you not want me here, is that it?"
"I didn't say that," Sasuke knew he was failing to keep his face neutral, face scrunching in irritation at his friend's stubbornness.
"You came to me, ya know!" Naruto continued as if Sasuke hadn't spoken, "If you didn't want me around maybe you shouldn't have shown up at my apartment like— like a lost cat or something!"
"Shut up," Sasuke hissed, glaring at his friend, "I didn't say that."
"And it's not like you're even healed up all the way either- don't think I didn't notice that, ya know! Maybe you're not helpless or anything, but you're not—"
"Dobe," Sasuke outright snapped, finally interrupting Naruto's tirade, "You're not listening to me. I didn't say I wanted you to leave. But maybe you don't want to be here as much as you think you do."
"That's ridiculous," Naruto said, voice stern.
"Is it?" Sasuke shot back, "You spent so long trying to get me to come back here, but I don't think you know what to do now that you've gotten what you wanted. We haven't talked about anything that happened and you change the subject whenever it comes up. Even your reasons for staying revolve around my dependence on you to stay hidden from the Village rather than you wanting to be here. Why did you even want me to come back?"
"Asshole, I told you not to make me repeat myself—" Naruto begins, predictably.
"Usuratonkachi, if you say because I'm your friend I will Chidori you into next week. I heard you already. I know that. But that can't be enough to justify— whatever it is we're doing here anymore. Not when you're treating me like I'm made of glass."
He watched Naruto blink at him, looking lost and overwhelmed. Sasuke felt his face heat, feeling rather exposed after his verbosity and not knowing why. He hadn't said anything that wasn't true— pointing out observations he'd made over and over the nearly two weeks he had been haunting Naruto's space. Perhaps it was that Naruto was looking at him, his stunned look morphing steadily into something more introspective and far too considering for Sasuke's comfort.
One thing he had observed during his time knowing Naruto, especially during the war and their time together after, was that Naruto was far more thoughtful than people gave him credit for. He clearly had the ability and predilection to absorb and digest information. Perhaps not exactly clever or shrewd by any stretch, but with a sort of sympathetic intelligence that left the other feeling exposed, despite not revealing all that much of themselves to his consideration. Who knew that sort of inferences he would draw from Sasuke's blunt assessment of their situation? He let Naruto stew on his words, both dreading and anticipating his inevitable appraisal.
"Is that what this is about?" Naruto responded, at long lost. His voice was a deep, gentle rumble, rather than the harsh timbre he'd had a minute ago, "You think I don't want you here just because we haven't, I dunno, had a heart to heart or something?"
"It's not like you've given me anything else to go off of," Sasuke mumbled, not knowing how else to explain himself.
The grain in his chest was burning. Despite every fiber of his being telling him to shut the conversation down, his heart needed Naruto to understand, and he needed to understand Naruto. What else had all the pain between them been for, otherwise?
"You're so stupid," Naruto smiled softly, to Sasuke's disbelief, "You've already seen my heart and I've seen yours, right? You literally tried to kill me instead of understanding what I kept trying to tell you- I'm sorry if I thought pushing for more would just… drive you away again. But can you really blame me for that? You're a real prickly bastard, y'know."
"You knew that already so you can't use that as an excuse," Sasuke countered, voice unconsciously low, matching Naruto's tone.
Naruto snickered, finally tearing his unsettlingly intense gaze away to grin at the ceiling like an idiot, "Whatever, asshole."
Seemingly content to leave it at that, Naruto said nothing more. Even after all that, Naruto wasn't pushing. Frustrated, Sasuke fought against the instinct to lash out again, knowing it wouldn't get them anywhere. He just wanted Naruto to feel as emotionally wrung out at off balance as he did- something he only knew how to elicit with his fists. It wasn't like Naruto to be afraid of anything. Let alone afraid of Sasuke. The idiot had never once backed down from him, regardless of whether he was outclassed or not. Sasuke was supposed to be able to count on Naruto for that dogged determination, spitting in the eye of bad odds. Where was the recalcitrant punk Sasuke had grown up with? Now, of all times when Sasuke was dependent on that perseverance to… to what? Sasuke couldn't even identify what he wanted from Naruto. Just that it was… more than this.
He looked at Naruto, really looked hard, trying to assess him the way Naruto always seemed to be able to do to him. Taking in the other teen's now lax posture, that ridiculous grin still aimed at the bright ceiling, and his eyes. Still locked above, Sasuke caught the incongruities in Naruto's eyes first. Despite everything else about his friend seeming to broadcast nonchalance, that leisurely act ended at the tension in the skin there, the strained angle of his blond brows, and the thick band of blue around narrow pupils.
He'd once compared Naruto to Itachi. In their strength, so different and more powerful than Sasuke's own. Equivocated that jealousy in his mind and used it to fuel the inadequacy and rage that drove his quest for revenge against his brother. He knew better now, the struggle within Itachi. The persistent need to push aside his own emotions and needs for the sake of those around him, Sasuke most of all. Looking at Naruto now, he couldn't help but recall that comparison unfavorably. Recognizing Naruto trying to hide his own pain and anxiety from Sasuke, it wasn't hard to identify the suffering fueling Naruto's actions. A pale but true reflection of how his brother had suffered, to protect those he cared about. Now that he had allowed himself to acknowledge and even value the bond between himself and Naruto, he understood. Naruto and Itachi shared many unfavorable traits, and Itachi had suffered for his own relentless selflessness until the end.
He didn't want Naruto to suffer the consequences of that same fatal flaw.
Sasuke had returned to the Village. And somehow, he was still causing Naruto pain. Pain that Naruto hid from him, for fear of driving Sasuke away again. And it hurt Sasuke in return, to watch. He could acknowledge that at least.
No longer would Sasuke let Naruto walk ahead of him, on that path. Sasuke had started them down it, after all, when he'd held out that bento so long ago.
"You made me believe bonds with others weren't a weakness I should push away any longer," Sasuke said, and he sees Naruto startle at the suddenness of his words, "You told me it hurt you, when I bore my burdens alone. If that's what friendship means to you, why would you make me watch as you bear burdens by yourself, knowing it would hurt me, too?"
"What?" Naruto gulped, staring at Sasuke now like he'd never seen him before, "That isn't- Why would you-" He watched Naruto draw in a deep intake of breath, visibly bracing himself, "Why are you saying all this, now?"
The words resonated with so many thoughts and feelings Sasuke had toward Naruto over the years, that he couldn't help smiling at the other man, fondness flooding him like broken dam. It felt strange on his face, but there was no fighting it.
"Because you're my friend," He said, simply. Naruto's soft gasp in response wasn't unexpected, but it pleased Sasuke that he was able to turn the tables on him like this, "Idiot."
"Sasuke," Naruto murmured, looking like he was about to cry, and for once that didn't scare Sasuke. He wouldn't let the depths of Naruto's emotion put a wall between them, any longer. He could tell his friend wanted to say something, but was struggling to find the words, "You…"
"You can talk to me. About real things. The difficult things," He said, to put Naruto out of his misery, "I won't pretend you won't piss me off or that I'll answer any question you ask, but you can still ask. I'm not going anywhere, so you shouldn't worry so much about stupid things like that."
Naruto watched him silently for another moment before sitting up, bringing them closer together than they had been any other time while conscious without ulterior motives.
His friend stared down at the small expanse of sheets between them, "I told you I've seen your heart, remember? It'd be great if you talked to me about stuff, but… I already know the important stuff, y'know. It's fine."
With a huff, Sasuke lightly smacked Naruto upside the head, causing the other to yelp, "I want you to ask, idiot. I want you to believe me when I tell you I'm staying. I'll do whatever it takes until you trust me when I say it, but I can't prove it to you unless you give me the chance, usuratonkachi."
Blue eyes met Sasuke's own, and Naruto smiled softly, "Okay, okay. Sorry."
Sasuke felt himself soften all over, knowing there was no way he could keep that off his face, "You don't need to apologize. I understand why you do it. I'm just asking you to try."
"I'll do more than try," Naruto declared, voice determined and unwavering in that way Sasuke remembered.
Naruto grinned at him, and Sasuke couldn't help it when he felt his own smile bloom in light of it, like a flower in the sunlight.
Rather than respond, Sasuke held out his hand, two fingers extended. Something deep in his chest loosened when Naruto met them with his own.
Sasuke would look back on those weeks, before Shikamaru and Kakashi broke in and burst open that bubble of understanding they'd built, as the last moments of peace their hearts would experience together, for a long, long while.
