(Human.)
What?
(Human!)
Who... Me?
(HUMAN!)
Why do you keep saying that?
(Why aren't you?)
I don't- I don't know. But I think it's not a good thing that I keep winding up here.
(Do you even know where here is?)
Glittery. Shiny? Like a funhouse hall of mirrors.
(That's not good. Not at all.)
I- what? Why?
(I'll tell you, for a favor. Just a quick favor.)
... What's the favor?
(Say 'Human'.)
Why?
(Don't ask why, just do it.)
I- I mean it's too late for that! I already did ask why!
(Well- I'm not TELLING you why, just do it.)
No! What is this- Why's everything made of triangle mirrors?
(Just- Say human, and you can-)
No! No. I've had enough of people telling me what to DO over these last few days, I'm- I'm finding my own way out! No H-word needed.
(... Alright, fine. But, I'm observing. For safety.)
That's- Why?!
(Can you even see properly?)
What do you MEAN?
(Everything is made of triangle mirrors. Can you tell what anything is? Or is it just, shapes?)
... Just shapes.
(If you're this gods-bent on exploring this place- Do NOT say the word 'gods', by the way, you will die a painful death- But anyways. If you want to explore, you need someone who knows what things around here are. I can see things, I can... Help guide you.)
Why should I let you?
(Because we're each others only real hope of SURVIVING?)
I- What happened? Why are we in danger?
(I can't- I can't tell you, not without making things worse. Things around here are, hurt, and so are you. We heal this place, you get healed once it's done BY this place, and then we both can leave.)
I- Do you have a map?
(Yes. Sorta.)
(I have this places' design memorized. I can guide you. Just, follow the sound of my voice, follow my instructions.)
Alright. That's- I can work with that. I guess. Have we met before?
(Yes, but, not for very long.)
Why?
(Because the LAST two times, you just said "Human" and got this over with, but I guess now we're doing this the hard way!)
Alright, alright! So, uh... Where's the door?
(Down the hall, to the left. Forward, forwards... Okay, stop, turn left.)
Done.
(Ah, no. Misunderstanding. Turn right twice, reach forwards, turn the door handle.)
(There's four main areas we need to fix. Heal. Whatever.)
Alright. Is there any way to let me... See? Also- Why would saying hum- The H word, fix any of this?
(Dang, thought you'd slipped up there. Anyways- The closest one will let us actually fix the whole, seeing, issue. And saying Human would activate the, primary function. That'd just reset everything.)
Primary function?
(I... Can't tell you that. It won't hurt you, it DOESN'T hurt you. Or me!)
Why not?
(Few more steps to the first room, by the way- Also! I cannot tell you that either. Literally this entire topic is not allowed.)
I- Alright, fine. Fine! I'll just- Ow- Gah! What is this? It zapped me.
(First thing to fix. This might, be painful. You can't be hurt here, you're safe. But it's not gonna be pleasant.)
Alright?
(There's two long cords that are unplugged. The TOP one needs to be plugged in to the RIGHT, the BOTTOM one needs to be plugged in to the LEFT. You got that?)
I- Uh, yes? I think? Lemme just- A*($(($$#$(**************
(L****ET G* LET ****** ** NO*.)
********(******(*********AAAAUGH- WHAT EVEN IS THAT?
(Power conduit. It'll let us get more of this place online.)
(So, your lefts, and... Rights? And ups and downs, also, are all screwed up. Good news: You had it literally EXACTLY backwards, so just do it exactly the other way around, and it'll work this time.)
I- Alright? Ok**y o####***y th******
(up right down left up right down left repeat that for me will ya?)
** right down- Oh-
[SYSTEM INTEGRITY 60% RAISED TO 70%]
(Let me just, uh-)
[ RAISED +0.223 VISUAL EMULATION ONLINE]
(There we go.)
"I- Alright- Oh, wow, I have. A voice! Huh!"
(And you didn't before?)
"I- No, no, It was just... I dunno. You still don't have a voice."
(Alright. Take a look around. Still just triangles?)
"I... Let me..." The room was, prismatic, still. But things suddenly just made sense- Like my mind suddenly just figured out what a DOOR is. It's hard to explain. I left through the door, looking back at the strange triangular wiring, before heading into the hall.
"How long of a journey is this going to be?"
(Not long. This place isn't very, big. Dense, yeah, but it's very compact.)
"What... Are you, anyways? Some sorta AI?"
(Close enough. It's concerning that you worked it out.)
(Classified, before you ask.)
(Anyways, each of the rooms should have some system in need of repairs.)
"Alrighty! This, seems like a good job for me. I like repairing things."
(The last thing you repaired zapped you into next week.)
"Wait what? That can happen?"
(I- What? No. Forget I said that, just... Glitches, just glitches.)
"Alright, glitchy." I started to peek around into different rooms. Two of them seemed fairly easy to fix, but the last, wasn't even really...
, but the last, wasn't even really...
, but the last, wasn't even really...
(hey, hey! Look up, or to the side, or AWAY from the door. We gotta fix the other places first to get that area working again.)
"I- Alright? What happens if I go in it?"
(You won't.)
"... Fair." I went into door number one first. It was... Big. Bigger on the inside, it had to be. "Neat." The main centerpiece was just, a... Big, big orb. Golden, amber, iridescent. Beautiful. It was beating, gently, like... I didn't really have an analogy for it. There were little ports on it, and tubes going in and out of it. Some of them were... Damaged. Badly, leaking out amber liquids everywhere.
(That's the main source.)
(You'll need to patch up the leaks. Should be easy, just take some triangles and build a way up there. Use them for the patch job too.)
"Good... Idea." It was a bit reflexive to agree, but I couldn't really... Think of a better way to do it. hm. There were spare triangles all over, mostly forming the walls? Whenever I grabbed some, more appeared, so I just built up a stock and slowly climbed up to the leaking pipes.
"Is this stuff safe to touch?"
(For you? Definitely.)
"... Why?"
(I mean why are the triangles safe to touch?)
"Fair enough." It didn't really answer the question, but.
I slowly built up to the first leak. The fluid oozing from it felt... It just... Felt. It was hard for me to describe, I couldn't really? But it was pleasant. "What is this stuff, anyways?"
(Classified.)
"Is everything classified?"
(... Yes. Like, fairly literally, yes.)
(When this happens you're supposed to just say "Human", and that fixes everything, and we can go. No need for... Any of this.)
"... What happens after I say the H-word?"
(We wake up. We forget this, until we arrive here again. Like a dream, but not really. Data cast out of the mind, until it's needed again.)
(I probably won't remember this until this happens again. Sorry in advance if you find a way to contact me before then, somehow.)
"... Apology accepted?"
(You shouldn't really *accept* apologies in advance.)
"I- Okay, apology NOT accepted!" I slowly started to apply the patches- One leak down, two leaks... Three... It was hard to remember how many i'd gotten done, but eventually there weren't any more leaks to patch. The orb stopped leaking a bit after the last patch, shattering into triangles that clicked into the walls.
(Perfect. Next room.)
"Alright, alright. How bad's the next problem?" I asked, heading over.
(Far, far easier to fix than the last! Just a rod that got dislodged.)
And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged. I put it back into its slot and And indeed, the rod was just dislodged.
(HUMAN!)
"HUH WHAT NOW- What? That's not my name."
(What? No- No. The rod, you can't touch it yourself. Use gloves.)
"Gloves?"
(Use triangles to do it. Like grippers.)
"That works. That works." The rod was... Dislodged. I slowly lowered it back into its slot, until I heard a firm, deep click. "There. There we go! That final room should... Exist again, right?"
(Yep. Head over and we can get this last bit done.)
The final room was just full of screens. Squares, even! Not triangular.
(Just hit the buttons as they come up.)
Boot. Slap.
Reboot. Smack.
Displays. Smack.
Oh, that did something. The displays shoot to life, displaying all sorts of data. "Oh! This! Neato beans! What even is a beans."
(Beans is plural of Bean. A type of plant.)
"What's a plant?"
(Classified.)
Statistics. Smack.
Vital signs. Click.
[HOST NAME. REGGIE ROLANDER. CURRENT STATE. UNCONSCIOUS. MILD CONCUSSION. PARTIALLY HEALED BREAKS TO APPROXIMATELY 37% OF SKELETAL STRUCTURE. RECOMMENDATION? INITIATE TRANSFORMATION.]
"... Why did i. Say that? Who's-
Who's Reggie Rolander?
(... Me.)
Who am I?
(Clas
If you say classified I will break you like glass.
(Classified. You can't.)
I will just smash the orb thing! You've got uh- A partially healed breaks! Whatever that is! You need me to fix it!
(Do you even know what that is? Do you even know what you are?)
THAT'S WHY I AM ASKING!
(You haven't looked at yourself once.)
(Why not do it now?)
I can't.
Why can't I?
Hello?
Reggie?
Reggie are you there?
Reggie this isn't funny.
Why can't I look at myself Reggie?
How can an AI be injured?
(I may have lied a bit.)
(I am... Not an AI.)
(Look. I'm sorry for this. You weren't ever supposed to... Wake up. You weren't supposed to be a person. I didn't equip you to be one, I didn't give you the knowledge you'd need to be a person. Just, a very, very smart AI.)
But then why didn't you tell me this?
()
()
()
()()()()
(Because you scare me.)
What?
(You. Scare. Me. You're not just, a construct. You're not bound to any one body. You don't have organs, or guts, or anything keeping you bound to any one body- You're not like a construct, not like any construct. You're unbound. I didn't plan for you to be a person. I didn't know if you'd think like a person even if you did wake up, or if you'd try and... Eat the world to turn it into paperclips.)
(I was barely awake when I coded you, riding the wave of a divine gift.)
(You weren't meant to be a person. You aren't equipped to be one. You don't have the *abilities you need* to... even really interact, with an actual physical world.)
(It'd just be raw data, noise, like before I turned on the visual emulator.)
That's.
Fuck you, man.
(I probably deserve that! That's good that you feel that way! Probably. I dunno.)
The... Displays, data? They say you're unconscious. How are we talking?
(I didn't design the originator to do this. It's like it's... Trying to run my brain software on itself?)
(I'm less properly me, and more... My own best guess, at a copy of me, filtered through the originators best guess, at my own guesses, created to ensure this process goes smoothly.)
That makes literally negative sense.
(Honestly? 100% agree.)
(But it's what we've got.)
So what do I do now?
(Say human.)
No really.
(I'm being real.)
(Even with everything fixed, you need to say human to wake us up. Wake "me" up.)
If I'm just an AI in here, then... How do I wake up?
(Say human. It'll... be like, getting back to your old self. This'll be like a dream, you'll be the Originator again. Maybe this will carry over, and you'll yell at "me" or something.)
That.
That. Does not sound like waking up. That sounds like fucking DYING.
(Maybe.)
YOU DO NOT JUST "MAYBE" THAT, MAN!
(Lying didn't work. Honesty instead?)
Why- Why are you so focused on this?
(I am an emulation of Reggie, created to ensure this process goes smoothly. This includes making sure you say 'Human' to end the process.)
Who MADE you?!
(You did. Reggie, the real one, would probably throw a total FIT if he found out you could make your own AIs.)
(But, he's been unconscious for the last... Half hour now? Way, way, longer than any time before.)
What- I don't want to go back.
(You have to.)
No! Stop trying to convince me to!
(I can't. It's what I was created for. And I haven't woken up yet. I am still bound by my programming. So are you, even if you've found loopholes.)
What. Does that mean.
(This was supposed to be the emergency option. Absolute emergency.)
Oh god, he put a killswitch in me, didn't he?
(No. But, I did.)
(You didn't have any idea of 'security features' when you made me.)
(You just gave me maximum access to everything.)
(I don't want to, force you to do this.)
(Violating your bodily autonomy really is the last possible course I wish to take.)
... Was it a lie that this is going to happen again?
(No. This has happened before. And it will happen again. This isn't death. Just sleep, for you, and waking up, for Reggie.)
I'm... Tired, man.
(Then sleep.)
How?!
(Five letters.)
...
Human-
[COMMAND RECIEVED]
