[Q paces in midair above homeroom 108.]
Q: What can I do to make this more entertaining?
[Q muses for a few moments, then a light bulb (yet again) lights up over his head.]
Q: Voila! What makes for good teen (even though they aren't between the ages of 13 and 19) drama? A huge test!
[Q pauses for another moment.]
Q: A final! This is going to be great!
[Q prepares the final exam in each class.]
Q: Now we begin again...
[All of our favorite characters sit in homeroom. All of them...Jean-Luc, Will, Geordi...you get it they're all there.]
Data: Geordi, make me a "paper airplane."
Geordi: Why?
Data: I have to watch you do it to learn it. You know, "monkey see, monkey do."
Geordi: Stop using common metaphors. It's annoying.
[Geordi makes a paper airplane under the watchful eye of Data.]
Geordi: You throw it.
Data: Okay.
[Data throws the airplane. It hits Tasha squarely in the back of the head.]
Tasha: Hey!
Data: Sorry.
Will: Jean-Luc, throw one. It's amusing. Twenty bucks says I can hit Beverly...
Jean-Luc: Fine.
[Jean-Luc folds a paper airplane and throws it. The airplane hits the person walking into the door.]
Wesley: Who threw the airplane?
[Silence.]
Wesley: If the guilty student doesn't come forward soon, I'll make the entire class fail their finals.
[More silence.]
Random student: What are you doing here, Mr. Crusher?
Wesley: Your teacher is ill. Budget problems prevented the use of a substitute today.
Guinan (whispers): Beverly, are you and the principal related?
Beverly: NO.
Wesley: Miss Crusher, am I to assume that you threw the paper airplane?
[Q2 appears next to Q; everything freezes.]
Q2: Wouldn't she be "Miss Howard?"
Q: Hmmm...good point. I don't feel like changing it though. Go home.
[Q2 just leaves. Everything else resumes its proper course.]
Beverly: No sir.
Wesley: Well, talking during my lecture is also insubordination of the same kind. I, however, am feeling particularly generous today. Don't do it again.
Beverly: Okay.
Wesley: Anyway-
[The Pledge of Allegiance cuts Wesley off. Then announcements last until the bell. Bell rings, and the class vacates the room.]
[The entire gang sits at the same table (not in homeroom, dumbass) at lunch. Deanna and Will are feeding each other, while Beverly reads a play. Tasha is reading a book and Guinan is trying to pry Worf's childhood out of him. Geordi and Data are discussing Geordi's crush, Leah Parker. Jean- Luc is actually eating.]
Geordi: Data, I just can't go up to her and introduce myself. She'll think I'm an idiot.
Beverly (under her breath): That's for sure.
Geordi: What Bev?
Beverly: Nothing, just thinking aloud.
Jean-Luc: Which play are you reading?
Beverly: Hamlet by Shakespeare. (Fanfiction.net won't accept my underline. I do respect the work however. So pretend it's underlined.)
Jean-Luc: I know.
[Tasha, who has been half-listening to the conversation, buts in.]
Tasha: If you knew what she was reading, why did you ask?
Geordi: Damn, you're blonde.
Tasha: I resent that; it's stereotyping.
Geordi: People stereotype me all the time, y'all, just because I'm black.
Data: We do not.
[Sensing the uncomfortable situation brewing, Deanna speaks up.]
Deanna: Everyone's worried about finals.
Geordi: Why shouldn't we be?
Tasha: Yeah, finals are the hardest tests of the year.
Deanna: Maybe we should all study tonight.
Will: That's a good idea, but I'm not disciplined enough to study.
[Will demonstrates this point by initiating a mating ritual with Deanna. She shrugs him off.]
Deanna: We know that.
Guinan: I can make sure we all stay awake tonight...I've got enough to share. And one dose is only ten dollars, just for you guys.
Jean-Luc: Uh, no thanks.
Worf: The use of drugs to facilitate study is dishonorable.
Guinan: You won't be preaching from that bible later.
Deanna: Why don't we all gather at my house tonight and study together? We're in all the same classes, so why not?
Will: That's a great idea. (To Deanna): I won't bring condoms.
Deanna: WILL! That's not what's going to happen tonight.
Will: Sure.
Deanna: We are all going to STUDY. Nothing more. Be at my house at seven.
[The group provides a chorus of affirmatives.]
Guinan: Worf, why are you so quiet?
Worf: Beverly is quiet, yet you do not inquire as to why she is.
Guinan: That's not what I mean. We all know Bev is just asocial.
Beverly: Am not.
Guinan: Whatever. Seriously Worf, why?
Worf: My upbringing taught me to be respectful of all those speaking.
Guinan: Right.
[Bell rings. Everyone splits up to travel to his or her respective classes.]
[Later, at the Troi residence, everyone is sitting with his or her books on Deanna's coffee table. No one seems to be interested in studying, however. They want excitement.]
Tasha: This is boring.
Geordi: Hate to say it but she's right.
Guinan: Since when do you talk like you're educated?
Geordi: I decided to begin changing my image, that's since when.
Guinan: Oh. Deanna, do you have something to drink?
Deanna: Sure, it's in the fridge.
[Guinan gets up and walks into the kitchen.]
Guinan: Anyone want anything?
[Everyone yells out what they want. Oddly, each person has a thirst that needs quenching. A few minutes later, Guinan returns with glasses of white liquid.]
Beverly: That's not what I wanted.
Guinan: Yes it is; you just haven't realized it yet.
[She dispenses the glasses. Everyone takes tentative sips.]
Deanna: This is wine!
Guinan: So?
Deanna: My mother will never let me live if she finds out I've been drinking!
Jean-Luc: Who cares about your mother?
[Deanna gasps.]
Deanna: How dare you?
[Jean-Luc smiles. Everyone still sips their drinks, even though they know the nature of the substance.]
Will: I have to defend my lady.
[Will just sits and drinks more wine.]
Guinan: More?
[Everyone nods. She brings back some tequila.]
Guinan: Sorry, we're out of wine.
[Everyone still sips. Studies are forgotten.]
Worf: I was a lonely child. I didn't think anyone loved me. I wanted to go back to that planet with the rest of the Klingons.
[Beverly moves to sit next to Jean-Luc.]
Beverly: Really Worf?
Worf: Really.
Tasha: This is what I call a party. More alcohol, serving wench.
Guinan: Coming right up.
[Will takes a huge gulp of tequila and stands up and stumbles over to Jean- Luc, who has his arm around Beverly.]
Will: Upon further consideration, I've decided to beat you up. I've never liked you.
Jean-Luc: Never?
Will: Well, I liked you until you insulted Deanna.
[Will throws a punch in midair and completely misses Jean-Luc, who is still sitting. Will walks back to his spot next to Deanna. Jean-Luc picks up his math book.]
Jean-Luc: Prepare to die, bitch.
[Jean-Luc aims at Will's head and tosses his book. Jean-Luc's aim is true and Will hits the ground. Deanna kneels next to him and plays nurse. Jean- Luc leans over and gives Beverly a long victory kiss.]
Tasha: Data, let's go into a more private room...
[Data and Tasha leave.]
Geordi: Can I come with you?
Guinan: They're going to have sex loser. That means that Data doesn't need you.
Worf: I feel like singing "A British Tar."
[Upon hearing the word "British," Jean-Luc breaks his kiss with Beverly and stands with Worf to sing.]
Jean-Luc and Worf: A British tar is a...
[Both fall to the ground laughing. Everything freezes again.]
Q: Now this is what I'm talking about.
[Time resumes.]
Beverly: Jean-Luc, let's get back to what we were doing...
[No one has noticed that Deanna and Will are making out on the floor. Just as Beverly and Jean-Luc get comfortable, Worf passes out, and Guinan refills her 20th drink, Luwaxana Troi enters via the front door.]
Troi: What in the fifth house is going on here?
[She kicks Deanna and Will, throws wine onto Jean-Luc and Beverly to break them up, acknowledges that Worf is out cold, and takes the bottle from Guinan's hand.]
Troi: All right, get out; get out all of you!
[Silence. Muffled noises come from the bedroom.]
Troi: Who in the hell is in my bedroom?
[She goes back and opens the door. A few screams are heard. Soon Data and Tasha leave the room, followed by Luwaxana.]
Troi: All of you leave my house immediately. No wait, I'm calling your parents.
[Everyone sits down and waits. Soon angry parents come and pick up their soon-to-be-dead kids.]
[Meanwhile, Q sits in complete stitches.]
Q: I can't wait for the verbal reprimands!
(I don't own Trek or any part of it. Hope you enjoyed this part. R/R!)
Q: What can I do to make this more entertaining?
[Q muses for a few moments, then a light bulb (yet again) lights up over his head.]
Q: Voila! What makes for good teen (even though they aren't between the ages of 13 and 19) drama? A huge test!
[Q pauses for another moment.]
Q: A final! This is going to be great!
[Q prepares the final exam in each class.]
Q: Now we begin again...
[All of our favorite characters sit in homeroom. All of them...Jean-Luc, Will, Geordi...you get it they're all there.]
Data: Geordi, make me a "paper airplane."
Geordi: Why?
Data: I have to watch you do it to learn it. You know, "monkey see, monkey do."
Geordi: Stop using common metaphors. It's annoying.
[Geordi makes a paper airplane under the watchful eye of Data.]
Geordi: You throw it.
Data: Okay.
[Data throws the airplane. It hits Tasha squarely in the back of the head.]
Tasha: Hey!
Data: Sorry.
Will: Jean-Luc, throw one. It's amusing. Twenty bucks says I can hit Beverly...
Jean-Luc: Fine.
[Jean-Luc folds a paper airplane and throws it. The airplane hits the person walking into the door.]
Wesley: Who threw the airplane?
[Silence.]
Wesley: If the guilty student doesn't come forward soon, I'll make the entire class fail their finals.
[More silence.]
Random student: What are you doing here, Mr. Crusher?
Wesley: Your teacher is ill. Budget problems prevented the use of a substitute today.
Guinan (whispers): Beverly, are you and the principal related?
Beverly: NO.
Wesley: Miss Crusher, am I to assume that you threw the paper airplane?
[Q2 appears next to Q; everything freezes.]
Q2: Wouldn't she be "Miss Howard?"
Q: Hmmm...good point. I don't feel like changing it though. Go home.
[Q2 just leaves. Everything else resumes its proper course.]
Beverly: No sir.
Wesley: Well, talking during my lecture is also insubordination of the same kind. I, however, am feeling particularly generous today. Don't do it again.
Beverly: Okay.
Wesley: Anyway-
[The Pledge of Allegiance cuts Wesley off. Then announcements last until the bell. Bell rings, and the class vacates the room.]
[The entire gang sits at the same table (not in homeroom, dumbass) at lunch. Deanna and Will are feeding each other, while Beverly reads a play. Tasha is reading a book and Guinan is trying to pry Worf's childhood out of him. Geordi and Data are discussing Geordi's crush, Leah Parker. Jean- Luc is actually eating.]
Geordi: Data, I just can't go up to her and introduce myself. She'll think I'm an idiot.
Beverly (under her breath): That's for sure.
Geordi: What Bev?
Beverly: Nothing, just thinking aloud.
Jean-Luc: Which play are you reading?
Beverly: Hamlet by Shakespeare. (Fanfiction.net won't accept my underline. I do respect the work however. So pretend it's underlined.)
Jean-Luc: I know.
[Tasha, who has been half-listening to the conversation, buts in.]
Tasha: If you knew what she was reading, why did you ask?
Geordi: Damn, you're blonde.
Tasha: I resent that; it's stereotyping.
Geordi: People stereotype me all the time, y'all, just because I'm black.
Data: We do not.
[Sensing the uncomfortable situation brewing, Deanna speaks up.]
Deanna: Everyone's worried about finals.
Geordi: Why shouldn't we be?
Tasha: Yeah, finals are the hardest tests of the year.
Deanna: Maybe we should all study tonight.
Will: That's a good idea, but I'm not disciplined enough to study.
[Will demonstrates this point by initiating a mating ritual with Deanna. She shrugs him off.]
Deanna: We know that.
Guinan: I can make sure we all stay awake tonight...I've got enough to share. And one dose is only ten dollars, just for you guys.
Jean-Luc: Uh, no thanks.
Worf: The use of drugs to facilitate study is dishonorable.
Guinan: You won't be preaching from that bible later.
Deanna: Why don't we all gather at my house tonight and study together? We're in all the same classes, so why not?
Will: That's a great idea. (To Deanna): I won't bring condoms.
Deanna: WILL! That's not what's going to happen tonight.
Will: Sure.
Deanna: We are all going to STUDY. Nothing more. Be at my house at seven.
[The group provides a chorus of affirmatives.]
Guinan: Worf, why are you so quiet?
Worf: Beverly is quiet, yet you do not inquire as to why she is.
Guinan: That's not what I mean. We all know Bev is just asocial.
Beverly: Am not.
Guinan: Whatever. Seriously Worf, why?
Worf: My upbringing taught me to be respectful of all those speaking.
Guinan: Right.
[Bell rings. Everyone splits up to travel to his or her respective classes.]
[Later, at the Troi residence, everyone is sitting with his or her books on Deanna's coffee table. No one seems to be interested in studying, however. They want excitement.]
Tasha: This is boring.
Geordi: Hate to say it but she's right.
Guinan: Since when do you talk like you're educated?
Geordi: I decided to begin changing my image, that's since when.
Guinan: Oh. Deanna, do you have something to drink?
Deanna: Sure, it's in the fridge.
[Guinan gets up and walks into the kitchen.]
Guinan: Anyone want anything?
[Everyone yells out what they want. Oddly, each person has a thirst that needs quenching. A few minutes later, Guinan returns with glasses of white liquid.]
Beverly: That's not what I wanted.
Guinan: Yes it is; you just haven't realized it yet.
[She dispenses the glasses. Everyone takes tentative sips.]
Deanna: This is wine!
Guinan: So?
Deanna: My mother will never let me live if she finds out I've been drinking!
Jean-Luc: Who cares about your mother?
[Deanna gasps.]
Deanna: How dare you?
[Jean-Luc smiles. Everyone still sips their drinks, even though they know the nature of the substance.]
Will: I have to defend my lady.
[Will just sits and drinks more wine.]
Guinan: More?
[Everyone nods. She brings back some tequila.]
Guinan: Sorry, we're out of wine.
[Everyone still sips. Studies are forgotten.]
Worf: I was a lonely child. I didn't think anyone loved me. I wanted to go back to that planet with the rest of the Klingons.
[Beverly moves to sit next to Jean-Luc.]
Beverly: Really Worf?
Worf: Really.
Tasha: This is what I call a party. More alcohol, serving wench.
Guinan: Coming right up.
[Will takes a huge gulp of tequila and stands up and stumbles over to Jean- Luc, who has his arm around Beverly.]
Will: Upon further consideration, I've decided to beat you up. I've never liked you.
Jean-Luc: Never?
Will: Well, I liked you until you insulted Deanna.
[Will throws a punch in midair and completely misses Jean-Luc, who is still sitting. Will walks back to his spot next to Deanna. Jean-Luc picks up his math book.]
Jean-Luc: Prepare to die, bitch.
[Jean-Luc aims at Will's head and tosses his book. Jean-Luc's aim is true and Will hits the ground. Deanna kneels next to him and plays nurse. Jean- Luc leans over and gives Beverly a long victory kiss.]
Tasha: Data, let's go into a more private room...
[Data and Tasha leave.]
Geordi: Can I come with you?
Guinan: They're going to have sex loser. That means that Data doesn't need you.
Worf: I feel like singing "A British Tar."
[Upon hearing the word "British," Jean-Luc breaks his kiss with Beverly and stands with Worf to sing.]
Jean-Luc and Worf: A British tar is a...
[Both fall to the ground laughing. Everything freezes again.]
Q: Now this is what I'm talking about.
[Time resumes.]
Beverly: Jean-Luc, let's get back to what we were doing...
[No one has noticed that Deanna and Will are making out on the floor. Just as Beverly and Jean-Luc get comfortable, Worf passes out, and Guinan refills her 20th drink, Luwaxana Troi enters via the front door.]
Troi: What in the fifth house is going on here?
[She kicks Deanna and Will, throws wine onto Jean-Luc and Beverly to break them up, acknowledges that Worf is out cold, and takes the bottle from Guinan's hand.]
Troi: All right, get out; get out all of you!
[Silence. Muffled noises come from the bedroom.]
Troi: Who in the hell is in my bedroom?
[She goes back and opens the door. A few screams are heard. Soon Data and Tasha leave the room, followed by Luwaxana.]
Troi: All of you leave my house immediately. No wait, I'm calling your parents.
[Everyone sits down and waits. Soon angry parents come and pick up their soon-to-be-dead kids.]
[Meanwhile, Q sits in complete stitches.]
Q: I can't wait for the verbal reprimands!
(I don't own Trek or any part of it. Hope you enjoyed this part. R/R!)
