I was bored in the shower this morning , and had an ingenious idea for

this new fic. "The Freakiest LMG Fic" might scare you and/or scar you

for

life. If you are willing to see/read Gordo talking like a cheerleader

get

on ya'll and read it! I don't own Lizzie McGuire nor do I hate it. I

just

love making fun of it!!

The Freakiest LMG Fic!!

Chapter One: Huh?

Gordo sat up in bed at 1:23 A.M. and shouted, "Today is the day I will

persuade Lizzie into going out with me!" Then, he fell backwards into

his

bed, and started having snoring spasms.

The next morning, Gordo looked at his calendar and said "Golly golly

gosh! Today's Friday the thirteenth! I must persuade Lizzie into going

out with me on the unluckiest day of the year!" So Gordo showered, and

put on his best Tux- which happened to be five sizes too small- and

went

to eat breakfast. He ate three bites of cereal, and ran out the door to

school.

When he arrived, Lizzie was standing by her locker, putting her books

away.

"Hey, Lizzie," said Gordo in a cheezy cheerleader voice.

"Hey what?" she responded in an equally cheezy way. (A/N if you know

this cheer, you know how it sounds. Their voices have a continuous

annoying sound.)

"Let me see you get down."

"No way!"

"Let me see you get down."

"OK. Jump! Shake your booty. Jump Jump! Shake your booty," they said

as

everyone in the halls stared at them.

"Hey Lizzie!" Gordo started again.

"Hey what?" Lizzie shouted then muttered,"Holy shit, not again!"

"Will you go out with me?"

"No way!"

"Ha! Will you go out with me?"

"Ok," started Lizzie sadly, but got back into the scary

perkiness."Jump

shake your booty. Jump jump! Shake your booty!"

"Ha-ha," said Kate as she passed by the overly perky twosome, "you

losers are dating. I have Ethan all to myself!"

Ethan then walks down the hall. "Hey Kate. I'm confused, what town do

we

live in again?"

Then, Kate's mini skirt and tube-top disappear to become a nun

suit.(A/N

We are now in The Sound of Music)"How do you solve problem like Ethan?"

With this said, Larry Tudgeman comes running down the hall like a

maniac. "Like this. *BOOM*!*EXPLODE*"said Larry as he shot Ethan with a

mini- bazooka that could fit in his pant pockets. Ethan's head was

blown

off, and underneath was a robot harboring a very small alien.

"Remember the Alamo!" shouted Ethan, seconds before he... bit the big

one!

"No wonder when we had sex I always felt a spark," said Kate.

"Aren't nuns supposed to stay chaste?" asked Miranda as she ran down

the

hall like a screaming lunatic.

"Good point," said Lizzie. "Larry, shoot her with your

mini-bazooka!"*BOOM**EXPLODE* The abnormally large, but small bullet

went

right through Kate, revealing her true identity.

"Yes, it's true, I am Casper, the Friendly Ghost," said Kate as she

took

off her skin, revealing a cute, innocent Casper ghost.

"Who would've guessed?" screamed Miranda as she continued to run up

and

down the halls like an idiot. After thirty seconds of "Oh" "That makes

absolutely no sense", people began to do what they were doing before

Kate..er... Casper entered Hillridge that ten minutes ago.

"Hey Lizzie!" started Gordo again.

"Hey what?"

"Hey Lizzie?"

"Gordo, just ask me like a normal human. Not that you are normal,

you're

wearing an abnormally small tuxedo."

"Wanna go... in the janitor's closet?"

"To do the dirty?" asked Miranda as she yet again flew across the

hall.

This time, she ran into the door, rendering her unconscious.

"Alleluia!" screamed the entire building.

"Let's get it on!" Lizzie screamed like that wrestling dude.

*****

Lizzie felt a slight tinge of guilt after doing the dirty in a

janitors

closet. Because, if doing the dirty wasn't enough, the janitor's closet

was.

"Maybe I feel guilty because I believe sex should be had in a bed?

Yep,

that's probably it!" Gordo had come to the house with her. He really

wanted to be with Lizzie, now that they were a part of each other.

(That

sounds funky!)

"Gordo," screamed Jo McGuire as she ran out of the kitchen wearing the

maid outfit form "Clueless". "Your parents called, they decided to

leave

the country for the rest of the week because they hate you some damn

much. So you're staying the week here."

"Thanks Miss McGuire."

"They dumped your stuff in the front door area. Now, you'd have the

couch normally, but Matt covered it in molasses for a school project,

and

you can't see the floor in his room. We'd let you sleep in our room,

but

I know you'd want our bed, but we'd be gettin it on, so you can't sleep

there. So, you can sleep in Lizzie's room. If you were any other guy,

I'd

say no, but you aren't any other guy, you're Gordo!"

"That almost made me feel special."

*****

Hehehe. Well, plz review for the sake of my sanity!!!!