Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the series' characters. They
belong to J.K. Rowling, so don't sue me!
Summary: When Ron becomes engaged to the returned Fleur Delacour, someone very unexpected shows Hermione that perhaps Ron wasn't the guy for her after all . . .
** *
Forbidden?
Chapter Three: I Won't Cry
* **
The following day was Saturday, so the students were given a chance to settle in and enjoy being back at Hogwarts. Hermione awoke very early, having not had a very good night.
She had been plagued with nightmares. They had started out with Ron and Fleur, and Hermione catching them making out in the bushes. Then there had been darkness, and a deep hole of fire, and Hermione had jerked away, a cold sweat dampening her neck and forehead.
The last thing she wanted was to relive that night and that pit of fire.
Now, standing by the large windows of Gryffindor Tower and gazing out into the cool morning air, she sighed. She had really thought that she and Ron could have had something together.
Obviously, she'd been wrong.
She shouldn't be bitter about it, but she was upset. Yet Ron was still her best friend and she couldn't bring herself to do anything but wish that he be happy. It was just her bad luck that his ultimate happiness meant her sorrow.
"I am so confused." She scowled. "What happened to the old, clever, clearheaded girl, 'Mione? Wake up and realize that love isn't everything."
Yet somehow, love had become everything to her. Maybe it was the after- effects of the battle with Voldemort . . . she groaned. She was thinking about it again. Why couldn't she just find something to talk about that didn't include Voldemort, Ron or Fleur?
Sighing, she turned away from the window and decided to go down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast with whoever else might be down there.
Halfway down the stairs, she heard low voices speaking from just below the stairs. She felt her heart squeeze as she recognized those two voices.
"You should have been made an honorary Gryffindor," Ron murmured, his voice sounding oddly muffled (Hermione didn't have to think to know why). "Imagine what we could have done . . . "
"Oh, Ron!" Fleur giggled, her own voice sounding slightly breathless and thick. "'Zis talk, it is not appropriate for the halls of a magical school - what if ze poltergeists were to hear?"
Hermione winced. This was hurting far more than she had expected it to, and yet she felt frozen on the stairs, unable to move, hardly able to breathe.
"You know you like it," Ron whispered. "I know what else you like too - " there was a muffled squeal from Fleur.
That was it. Hermione, certain than she was going to throw up, raced down the stairs, past Ron and Fleur who barely even turned around at her soft footsteps, and ran right into the Great Hall.
She stopped just inside the door, breathing hard, her stomach churning. The Hall was practically empty; there were only a couple of Hufflepuffs who waved cheerily at her, and Dean Thomas, another Gryffindor.
"Lovely morning, isn't it?" Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost, said breezily to Hermione as she slowly trudged towards her seat at the table, one hand pressed against the stomach.
"Just peachy." Hermione snapped.
Dean Thomas looked her over, slightly concerned. "You all right, Hermione?" he asked in a friendly voice. Dean had always gotten along with Hermione; despite the fact that he sometimes thought she was too much of a bookworm.
Hermione glanced at him as she sat down. "Fine." She bit out.
Staring down at her plate as it filled, she felt the aching lump in the throat. "I will not cry," she commanded herself in a terrified whisper. "I won't cry. I won't. I won't cry over Ron and Fleur. I WON'T."
"You won't what?" it was Pansy Parkinson's (a very mean Slytherin) snotty voice. "Break a rule, Granger? Kiss Potter in the hallway? Or," she added in a sly voice, "you won't allow your heart to break over your boyfriend's engagement?"
Abandoning her food, Hermione jumped to her feet and streaked out of the room. She didn't notice that Dean Thomas was glaring at Pansy, or that Albus Dumbledore had seen her run out in considerably distress.
Unfortunately, the Gryffindor staircase was not a place to go to, and Hermione turned abruptly, tears stinging her eyes.
"No." she snapped at herself. "You can't cry. You just can't afford to now."
She leaned against the wall, hugging herself. She wished she had someone to talk to about ordinary, everyday things. She wished there was someone she could speak to who wouldn't blabber on about Ron or make cutting remarks about her brains or her hair or Harry.
Even Harry gave her sympathetic looks all the time; it made her feel sad just to talk to him or Ginny or Ron. As for Fleur, Hermione decided it would be wiser to avoid the girl, or some curses (both verbal and magical) might be flung.
Then it came to her. Remus and Sirius - they would be there for her, and they'd talk to her normally. One of them was bound to be in their office, especially since both were known to be early risers.
She turned around and hurried towards the office that Lupin had had before.
She was in the corridor, less than a hundred feet from the door of the office, when the image of Ron and Fleur from her nightmare popped into her head. Stopping short, she tried to take deep breaths and suppress the sobs that were rising in her chest, but the tears glimmered faintly in her eyes anyway.
"Up a little early, aren't you, Miss Granger?" a cold voice snapped.
Could this day get any worse? Hermione scowled as she turned around reluctantly to face Severus Snape.
"Yes, sir." She said in as level a tone as she could manage. She cringed inwardly at the thought of Snape seeing the hurt tears in her eyes, and could have cried out loud when the mocking smile grew on his face.
"A little teenage angst?" he drawled. "Come, Miss Granger, surely someone of your physique wouldn't have anything to worry about. After all, no boy here with any sense (Potter and Weasely excluded) would deign to a Mud- blood."
Hermione glared at him, fresh tears stinging her eyes at this cold insult. "I think you're wrong about Ron Weasely, sir." She snapped. "And Harry Potter has his mind on Quidditch right now."
"Well, well, isn't that a pity for you?" Snape's voice was deadly soft. "No one to hold you in his or her arms and whisper sweet nothings, Miss Granger? Get used to it." He spat. "No one will come."
Hermione was so stunned and horrified by this cruelty on a teacher's part that she simply stood there in shock, the tears in the eyes shining. She opened her mouth to retort, to defend herself, to say something that would show Snape he hadn't affected her, but nothing came.
The truth was - she was beginning to think Snape was right.
"My, my," Snape grinned wickedly. "It seems like I struck a nerve. You don't lack brains, Granger, so I'm sure you know that I'm right about you - "
"Leave her alone, Snape." A voice growled from behind Hermione.
She turned in surprise, and saw Sirius standing less than five feet away, one hand in the pocket of his black trousers and the other holding his wand. Snape's eyes narrowed as he took in his old enemy.
"Surely you aren't showing any partiality for students, Black," Snape snarled. "That does go against rules, doesn't it?"
"I'll do what I damn well want." Sirius said sharply. "Besides, Snape, aren't you breaking the rules a little by showing a certain LACK of partiality for one - or should I say three? - students?"
Snape scowled and Sirius glared back at him. "Leave her alone." Sirius repeated. "And Snape?" he called as the Potions teacher turned around. "If I find you doing this again to any of them, I'll use my Cruciatus curse without second thought, illegal or not."
Without a word, Severus Snape stalked away.
Sirius lowered his wand and put it back into the pocket of his robes. Hermione noticed then that he was wearing robes this morning, black ones that were open over his pants and teal shirt.
"I'd like to kill that git one day." Sirius muttered angrily. His eyes softened as they turned to Hermione. "All right?"
She smiled tremulously, a fresh bout of tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks. She felt a strong urge to throw herself into Sirius' arms and let him tell her that everything would be okay, but she knew she couldn't.
And she couldn't let Sirius see her cry.
"I'm - okay." She choked out, before turning and racing down the corridor.
She didn't know where she was going, or why she was running so fast, but when she stopped, she realized she was in the Gryffindor common room.
Before she realized it, the tears were pouring out, streaming down her cheeks as she sank down to her knees on the carpet, her entire body convulsing and shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Everyone else had gone down to breakfast by now, so she knew she would be completely alone.
The thought didn't comfort her as much as it should have. She needed someone now; she needed someone to be there to make her want to stop crying, to make her happy again. And how she wished that person didn't have to be Ron.
She was barely aware of the fact that she was continuing to sob and cry on the floor, but she was very aware of the moment when someone dropped to their knees beside her and strong arms slid around her, wrapping her convulsing body close against a strong, warm chest and holding her just like she'd wanted.
"Christ, 'Mione, don't cry. I'm right here; it's all right. Don't cry," a warm, masculine voice whispered into her hair.
She lifted her head to look into the deep, chocolate eyes, her wet eyes taking in the lock of black hair flopping gently against the forehead, the handsome face filled with concern and warmth.
Her tears dried slowly, and soon, her violently trembling body stilled in the warm strength of his arms. She swallowed and spoke shakily: "I'm so glad you're here."
"So am I." He said dryly, making her smile. He gently wiped away the remains of tears from her face. "Oh, 'Mione, who could have hurt you this much?"
She buried her face in his shoulder and said in a muffled voice: "Do you know about Ron?"
Sirius sighed. "Ah. So that's it." He smiled down at her softly. "I didn't realize you liked him so much."
"Neither did I." She groaned. "I don't even know anymore. It's so irritating."
"Understandably," he pulled her gently to her feet. "But maybe you could find love somewhere else? Maybe Ron isn't the one for you."
She raised her eyebrows. "Who could I possibly find, Sirius?"
"What about Harry? He and Ginny may not even be that serious. Or what about that Gryffindor guy - Dean? Or even Viktor Krum?"
"You're not serious." Her eyes began to dance with laughter. "Tell me you don't want me to fall in love with any of them, Sirius, Harry included."
He grinned. "You're right. I don't. But I'm glad you're smiling again. It just made my day."
She couldn't help but laugh again at that, and she looked up into his eyes and said: "I wish you were my godfather."
For an instant, his eyes darkened to an almost bitter expression. Then he smiled again and said: "I'm glad I'm not."
She wanted to ask him why, but instead reached up and hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek. "You're the best, Sirius. Thanks a lot."
"Always, 'Mione." He smiled. "I'll always be here."
** TBC.
**
A/N: Chapter Four coming up soon! Please review and tell me what you guys think of this chapter and this story. Enjoy!
Summary: When Ron becomes engaged to the returned Fleur Delacour, someone very unexpected shows Hermione that perhaps Ron wasn't the guy for her after all . . .
** *
Forbidden?
Chapter Three: I Won't Cry
* **
The following day was Saturday, so the students were given a chance to settle in and enjoy being back at Hogwarts. Hermione awoke very early, having not had a very good night.
She had been plagued with nightmares. They had started out with Ron and Fleur, and Hermione catching them making out in the bushes. Then there had been darkness, and a deep hole of fire, and Hermione had jerked away, a cold sweat dampening her neck and forehead.
The last thing she wanted was to relive that night and that pit of fire.
Now, standing by the large windows of Gryffindor Tower and gazing out into the cool morning air, she sighed. She had really thought that she and Ron could have had something together.
Obviously, she'd been wrong.
She shouldn't be bitter about it, but she was upset. Yet Ron was still her best friend and she couldn't bring herself to do anything but wish that he be happy. It was just her bad luck that his ultimate happiness meant her sorrow.
"I am so confused." She scowled. "What happened to the old, clever, clearheaded girl, 'Mione? Wake up and realize that love isn't everything."
Yet somehow, love had become everything to her. Maybe it was the after- effects of the battle with Voldemort . . . she groaned. She was thinking about it again. Why couldn't she just find something to talk about that didn't include Voldemort, Ron or Fleur?
Sighing, she turned away from the window and decided to go down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast with whoever else might be down there.
Halfway down the stairs, she heard low voices speaking from just below the stairs. She felt her heart squeeze as she recognized those two voices.
"You should have been made an honorary Gryffindor," Ron murmured, his voice sounding oddly muffled (Hermione didn't have to think to know why). "Imagine what we could have done . . . "
"Oh, Ron!" Fleur giggled, her own voice sounding slightly breathless and thick. "'Zis talk, it is not appropriate for the halls of a magical school - what if ze poltergeists were to hear?"
Hermione winced. This was hurting far more than she had expected it to, and yet she felt frozen on the stairs, unable to move, hardly able to breathe.
"You know you like it," Ron whispered. "I know what else you like too - " there was a muffled squeal from Fleur.
That was it. Hermione, certain than she was going to throw up, raced down the stairs, past Ron and Fleur who barely even turned around at her soft footsteps, and ran right into the Great Hall.
She stopped just inside the door, breathing hard, her stomach churning. The Hall was practically empty; there were only a couple of Hufflepuffs who waved cheerily at her, and Dean Thomas, another Gryffindor.
"Lovely morning, isn't it?" Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost, said breezily to Hermione as she slowly trudged towards her seat at the table, one hand pressed against the stomach.
"Just peachy." Hermione snapped.
Dean Thomas looked her over, slightly concerned. "You all right, Hermione?" he asked in a friendly voice. Dean had always gotten along with Hermione; despite the fact that he sometimes thought she was too much of a bookworm.
Hermione glanced at him as she sat down. "Fine." She bit out.
Staring down at her plate as it filled, she felt the aching lump in the throat. "I will not cry," she commanded herself in a terrified whisper. "I won't cry. I won't. I won't cry over Ron and Fleur. I WON'T."
"You won't what?" it was Pansy Parkinson's (a very mean Slytherin) snotty voice. "Break a rule, Granger? Kiss Potter in the hallway? Or," she added in a sly voice, "you won't allow your heart to break over your boyfriend's engagement?"
Abandoning her food, Hermione jumped to her feet and streaked out of the room. She didn't notice that Dean Thomas was glaring at Pansy, or that Albus Dumbledore had seen her run out in considerably distress.
Unfortunately, the Gryffindor staircase was not a place to go to, and Hermione turned abruptly, tears stinging her eyes.
"No." she snapped at herself. "You can't cry. You just can't afford to now."
She leaned against the wall, hugging herself. She wished she had someone to talk to about ordinary, everyday things. She wished there was someone she could speak to who wouldn't blabber on about Ron or make cutting remarks about her brains or her hair or Harry.
Even Harry gave her sympathetic looks all the time; it made her feel sad just to talk to him or Ginny or Ron. As for Fleur, Hermione decided it would be wiser to avoid the girl, or some curses (both verbal and magical) might be flung.
Then it came to her. Remus and Sirius - they would be there for her, and they'd talk to her normally. One of them was bound to be in their office, especially since both were known to be early risers.
She turned around and hurried towards the office that Lupin had had before.
She was in the corridor, less than a hundred feet from the door of the office, when the image of Ron and Fleur from her nightmare popped into her head. Stopping short, she tried to take deep breaths and suppress the sobs that were rising in her chest, but the tears glimmered faintly in her eyes anyway.
"Up a little early, aren't you, Miss Granger?" a cold voice snapped.
Could this day get any worse? Hermione scowled as she turned around reluctantly to face Severus Snape.
"Yes, sir." She said in as level a tone as she could manage. She cringed inwardly at the thought of Snape seeing the hurt tears in her eyes, and could have cried out loud when the mocking smile grew on his face.
"A little teenage angst?" he drawled. "Come, Miss Granger, surely someone of your physique wouldn't have anything to worry about. After all, no boy here with any sense (Potter and Weasely excluded) would deign to a Mud- blood."
Hermione glared at him, fresh tears stinging her eyes at this cold insult. "I think you're wrong about Ron Weasely, sir." She snapped. "And Harry Potter has his mind on Quidditch right now."
"Well, well, isn't that a pity for you?" Snape's voice was deadly soft. "No one to hold you in his or her arms and whisper sweet nothings, Miss Granger? Get used to it." He spat. "No one will come."
Hermione was so stunned and horrified by this cruelty on a teacher's part that she simply stood there in shock, the tears in the eyes shining. She opened her mouth to retort, to defend herself, to say something that would show Snape he hadn't affected her, but nothing came.
The truth was - she was beginning to think Snape was right.
"My, my," Snape grinned wickedly. "It seems like I struck a nerve. You don't lack brains, Granger, so I'm sure you know that I'm right about you - "
"Leave her alone, Snape." A voice growled from behind Hermione.
She turned in surprise, and saw Sirius standing less than five feet away, one hand in the pocket of his black trousers and the other holding his wand. Snape's eyes narrowed as he took in his old enemy.
"Surely you aren't showing any partiality for students, Black," Snape snarled. "That does go against rules, doesn't it?"
"I'll do what I damn well want." Sirius said sharply. "Besides, Snape, aren't you breaking the rules a little by showing a certain LACK of partiality for one - or should I say three? - students?"
Snape scowled and Sirius glared back at him. "Leave her alone." Sirius repeated. "And Snape?" he called as the Potions teacher turned around. "If I find you doing this again to any of them, I'll use my Cruciatus curse without second thought, illegal or not."
Without a word, Severus Snape stalked away.
Sirius lowered his wand and put it back into the pocket of his robes. Hermione noticed then that he was wearing robes this morning, black ones that were open over his pants and teal shirt.
"I'd like to kill that git one day." Sirius muttered angrily. His eyes softened as they turned to Hermione. "All right?"
She smiled tremulously, a fresh bout of tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks. She felt a strong urge to throw herself into Sirius' arms and let him tell her that everything would be okay, but she knew she couldn't.
And she couldn't let Sirius see her cry.
"I'm - okay." She choked out, before turning and racing down the corridor.
She didn't know where she was going, or why she was running so fast, but when she stopped, she realized she was in the Gryffindor common room.
Before she realized it, the tears were pouring out, streaming down her cheeks as she sank down to her knees on the carpet, her entire body convulsing and shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Everyone else had gone down to breakfast by now, so she knew she would be completely alone.
The thought didn't comfort her as much as it should have. She needed someone now; she needed someone to be there to make her want to stop crying, to make her happy again. And how she wished that person didn't have to be Ron.
She was barely aware of the fact that she was continuing to sob and cry on the floor, but she was very aware of the moment when someone dropped to their knees beside her and strong arms slid around her, wrapping her convulsing body close against a strong, warm chest and holding her just like she'd wanted.
"Christ, 'Mione, don't cry. I'm right here; it's all right. Don't cry," a warm, masculine voice whispered into her hair.
She lifted her head to look into the deep, chocolate eyes, her wet eyes taking in the lock of black hair flopping gently against the forehead, the handsome face filled with concern and warmth.
Her tears dried slowly, and soon, her violently trembling body stilled in the warm strength of his arms. She swallowed and spoke shakily: "I'm so glad you're here."
"So am I." He said dryly, making her smile. He gently wiped away the remains of tears from her face. "Oh, 'Mione, who could have hurt you this much?"
She buried her face in his shoulder and said in a muffled voice: "Do you know about Ron?"
Sirius sighed. "Ah. So that's it." He smiled down at her softly. "I didn't realize you liked him so much."
"Neither did I." She groaned. "I don't even know anymore. It's so irritating."
"Understandably," he pulled her gently to her feet. "But maybe you could find love somewhere else? Maybe Ron isn't the one for you."
She raised her eyebrows. "Who could I possibly find, Sirius?"
"What about Harry? He and Ginny may not even be that serious. Or what about that Gryffindor guy - Dean? Or even Viktor Krum?"
"You're not serious." Her eyes began to dance with laughter. "Tell me you don't want me to fall in love with any of them, Sirius, Harry included."
He grinned. "You're right. I don't. But I'm glad you're smiling again. It just made my day."
She couldn't help but laugh again at that, and she looked up into his eyes and said: "I wish you were my godfather."
For an instant, his eyes darkened to an almost bitter expression. Then he smiled again and said: "I'm glad I'm not."
She wanted to ask him why, but instead reached up and hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek. "You're the best, Sirius. Thanks a lot."
"Always, 'Mione." He smiled. "I'll always be here."
** TBC.
**
A/N: Chapter Four coming up soon! Please review and tell me what you guys think of this chapter and this story. Enjoy!
