I'm working on One hour of sleep. I know I should go to bed… and yet…
DUN DUN DUN!!!
This chapter is coming out slowly and therefore I have come to the conclusion that I will make a compromise between my two debating options arguing within my head. Instead of having short, unfulfilling chapters very often or loooong yummy chapters end off where I want them not often at all I will cut the chapters into two parts and release twice as often, sounds good?
*stuff in stars- english*
Italics are thoughts when in third person.
:Actions:
This story is AU, based solely on the anime - the Revenge arc basically never happened.
Disclaimer: Man, I wish I owned Kenshin because then I would have money to buy the Kenshin box sets. The REAL question is: if I owned Kenshin, would I need to buy the box sets? … By the way, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.
Vocab!!
Dame! - Stop! (Kaoru always uses this, it's also I think the next to last ending theme.)
Shihondai - Assistant Master (of a dojo) In the manga Kaoru was the shihondai to her father, and he died. She was really insecure about her ability to teach. In the anime they made her the dojo master.
Chapter 5: Goodbye! :tear:… :strange look:
The moment of truth was coming. Actually, the moment of truth had come… several times already. This, however, was a different moment of truth. This moment of truth was the sort of moment that you know is going to end up in physical pain- at least in my case. It had been a full day since the fateful afternoon that Kaoru-dono had launched herself into my arms. Today was the day that we had decided to tell everyone else what decision we had made.
I needed to talk to Sano as well. I intended to keep my word and talk to Sano before leaving. I also needed to ask him a couple of things. I wasn't eager to give the responsibility of Yahiko to Sano but I needed to do something. Yahiko… was not going to be a happy kid. It hurt me to do this to him but it would be very dangerous for him to come.
I needed to let all of this go. Sano was at Megumi-san's clinic, I was doing laundry and Yahiko was avoiding me. Kaoru-dono and I had been avoiding each other since the incident with… with the hug thing. It probably would have been okay if we had ended there, but Kaoru-dono and I needed to collaborate on how to tell everyone else what we decided and we collaborated there.
It was, of course, my fault for encouraging anything. Hadn't I decided that I would avoid any hinting that I might like her in any other way then the closest friend I had? So she launched herself into my arms unexpectedly sobbing… did I HAVE to encircled her warmly and comfort her repeatedly, huh? HUH? No, I didn't, I was just being an ahou. I was stupid and unthinking and I didn't even stop there. No, then I had to go into her room, and sit down with her holding her arm comfortingly and do all sorts of stuff that even I know implies I have feeling for her. Grr, I was so weak! She just felt so right in my arms like we fit perfectly together and I didn't want to let her go. I should have had more control. I should have walked away and talked to her about it later.
She showed more self-control than I did by far; after all, she was the first one to pull away. What an idiot I was to think that I was the one holding back less and that she was more interested in anything more than friendship than me. It was so stupid it was funny. I have got to be the most unreasonably conceited person there was. Here this young girl was, only seventeen, beautiful, strong, overall attractive in personality and spirit, and I, a raggedy haired, freelancing hobo with a dark and mysterious past, think that just because she's young she will automatically fall in love with me and I will have to be chivalrous and keep her at bay for the sake of her innocence when really I was the one who was falling slightly for her in some ways... possibly.
For the sake of my stupid pride at least I could pretend her reason for pulling away first was that I didn't know when she was sufficiently comforted and, well, she did. It wasn't much, one could say, just to have my hand on her arm. Sometimes I found that when I was comforting her I would circle my thumb a little over her smooth skin.
Sessha was an idiot. I probably scared her by making advances when she had no interest in me and now our friendship is probably ruined. That's why she's avoiding me de gozaru. Worse! It gets worse… I'm going to be going to the future with her; this is going to be so awkward de gozaru yo. I frowned and scrubbed harder.
The future… that's right. Today at dinner we were announcing our departure. My hands stopped working. I was going to miss all this. I watched the wind blowing through the nearby sakura trees over the dojo wall; I could almost hear the sound of Yahiko practicing and smell the repulsive...ly comforting aroma of Kaoru-dono's cooking. I had washed laundry here almost everyday for the past six months except for when I was in Kyoto. I had a home. To my surprise and enjoyment I found that I was truly smiling to myself. I knew I had a home from before but it was nice to have a fresh reminder every once in a while.
Sometimes I could be such an optimist. It didn't make me very sad to think of everything I was leaving just then; I knew I would miss it, but for that moment I was content to just sift through the pleasant memories of my settled life. This, I decided, is a healthy pastime de gozaru yo. Better, by far, than dwelling on past mistakes that can't be changed.
Kaoru looked down at the food she was about to pop into her mouth and sighed. This would be her last meal at the dojo in a long time. Kenshin had cooked it at least. The taste was especially good. Once you've lost something the taste is that much sweeter, she supposed.
She suppressed another sigh. The food was good but she had no desire to eat it. She was content instead to watch her friends eat until she could talk to them without being interrupted by their inevitable fights over food. She half smiled as Sano repeatedly tried to steal Yahiko's food in order to cheer him up. The boy had been very silent and radiated a dark aura of bitter resentment. She sadly figured that was because he knew how it was all going to turn out.
The food was running out now and Kaoru stole a glanced at the much avoided Kenshin, who was thinking about every bite he ate visibly and wasn't going to get anywhere before the food was gone. He stole his own glance her way and their eyes met. Both quickly diverted their focus.
Now that the time was right. Kaoru was uncertain on how to start. She knew that if she could get the first few words unlodged from her throat the rest would flow more freely. Feeling completely at a loss for cushioning her blow she thought back to the basics and stated the direct goal of her thoughts. "I've decided," she paused to make sure everyone was listening, but considering they had been waiting the whole night to hear what she was about to say they had already attended to her voice, "that I must go with Taketsu-san and Soiya-kun." To Kaoru's puzzlement, everyone had already figured this out.
Now came the harder part. She glanced at Kenshin for some support, and he readily gave it to her, "Kenshin has decided that he will come with me." Megumi gasped loudly and then choked on what she was eating. She had to deal with the humiliation of Sano tapping her on the back very lightly, not that that ever helps. There was a long period of silence except for the sounds of Megumi's wheezing. The party sweatdropped.
Megumi finally looked up and met Kenshin's eyes. "Ken-san?"
Kenshin managed not to deflate, "I have decided that I will go with Kaoru-dono to protect her de gozaru. It was not her idea. I already spoke to Soiya-dono about it and he has agreed it is okay de gozaru."
Megumi felt at a loss for words. She should have assumed as much, Kenshin had obviously preferred Kaoru to her, but she had not really expected him to carry it this far. She was saddened by the knowledge and could only stare at the empty plate wishing that she knew what to say.
Sano had different thoughts running through his head. Mentally, he brought his hand up to his chin and wondered, "If Kenshin has the balls to actually go with her something must have happened…" his eyes widened as large as saucers, "THEY FINALLY HAD SEX, DIDN'T THEY?!" He peered at them suspiciously. Both of them were avoiding each other's gazes but it was obvious that they were mutually comforting each other with his or her presence. Sano chuckled; he didn't know Kenshin would stoop that low. An unmarried couple, 'Kaoru-dono' no less! Not only that, but she was young, it was probably her first time, hell, she was eleven years younger than him. Sano smiled evilly, he really couldn't blame Kenshin for having perverse thoughts about-
"Yahiko," Kaoru began again, "Kenshin and I think it's best if you don't come with us. It's very dangerous and we don't want to risk your life as much as it pains me to leave you here."
Yahiko scowled at them both with a hurt expression that was enough to wrench the heart of all those in the room. His words reflected the mood he shown, "Very dangerous? Too dangerous?! I've done lots of dangerous stuff before! I defeated a member of the Jun Pon Gatana. You remember how dangerous Kyoto was; but I went anyway, didn't I?!"
"Yahiko-kun, I wasn't very happy about that de gozaru…" Kenshin interceded. He knew this would continue down a hurtful path if he didn't try to stop it.
"Exactly! You tried to leave me behind again. And in Kyoto I was left behind and all those other times, and I'm sick of it!"
"But this is what's best for-"
"Best for who? For me? That's ridiculous! You seem to forget that I was living on my own in the streets before I met you, and I can take care of myself. Who are you to tell me what to do? You're not my mother!" Kaoru drew in a breath painfully. "You've got no right to mother me, you're only seventeen! You're not old enough to-"
"Enough Yahiko," Kenshin tried to stop. The words had been hurtful to the both of them.
Yahiko's mouth slowed, still flapping a little and he considered the order of his older idol. He should stop, what could he say against Kenshin? Dude, KENSHIN! That was almost untouchable. Still, still, why did he feel so much pain? Kenshin was a part of that. If Kenshin could hurt him so much then surely the elder was wrong somehow. He needed to vent his feelings about being left behind all the time. It was mean; it was wrong of Kenshin to do this to him!
He would not allow tears to spring to his eyes; his pride prevented that, "You- you don't know how it feels to be left behind… At least Kaoru knows how it feels to be left behind. But all you do is leave people. You- you- you bullshit me, don't you? When you give me encouragement and tell me that I'm becoming strong. I know I'm not strong enough; you don't need to bullshit me. And it's unfair! Why do you crush me? Why do you never let me actually fight in a real, important battle if I'm as strong as you say I am-"
"Yahiko!" Kaoru yelled fiercely, "Dame!" Kenshin's eyes were widened and shocked. She had her fists clenched, this is the insult of all insults! He was rude before, but now, this is downright… cruel! "The only one who build you up is yourself; don't push it off on Kenshin! I am telling you, as your shihondai and sensei: shut up." She dared the boy to defy her with her eyes. On the inside her heart was writhing.
Yahiko stood and began to leave, "You all suck," and then he was gone.
Everyone looked over to Kenshin to see how he was coping with this verbal slap in the face. The shocked, hurt expression was gone, but only replaced by a thoughtful mask and possibly a prosthetic smile. Once Yahiko was out of the room Kaoru slumped from her emotional exhaustion visibly. Usually Kenshin was the person to comfort in this type of situation, however, he didn't seem to want to stir. Kaoru didn't have the optimism or the understanding of little boys to comfort anyone, and she had been crying much too much as of late. Sano was still too much of a little boy himself to do much good. That left Megumi to be the voice of reason.
"Kaoru-chan, Ken-san, I'm sure he didn't mean everything he said. He's very hurt and angry right now…" Megumi tried to look their way encouragingly.
"Yea!" Sano tried, "He's just a kid; don't take it so bad." Well, he had run out of things to say.
Kaoru defeatedly sat down and sighed. She wasn't feeling so angry anymore and she was only left with her pain and guilt. "I'm sorry," conceded her stressful form. She knew not what else to say; she was sorry.
Sano perked up, "You don't have to be sorry, Jo-chan; we understand," he nudged Megumi, who nodded. "We're gonna still be friends anyway and it's only what, three years?"
Kaoru smiled thankfully at the larger man's comfort, "At least." Her voice did not match her smile.
There was a long awkward silence, "So…" Megumi, the lady of the group, said conversationally. "I'm going to head back to the clinic. All of us have a lot of thinking to do. I suppose I can spare the time to come back tomorrow morning to say goodbye to Ken-san."
Kaoru raised an eye.
"A nice, loooong, goodbye. Maybe I should take him with me to the clinic and return him to you tomorrow. Ohohohohoho! ^-.-^" Fox ears appeared on the top of her head with a "fwop!"
"Over my dead body!!" Kaoru challenged angrily. She had stepped onto one knee and raised a threatening fist. Little did she notice that at her wording Kenshin had given her a fleeting, fearful look and then quickly hidden it.
"Maa, Maa, minna…"
Sano had occupied himself with cleaning his teeth with his fishbone. He sighed in a "I'm-too-cool-for-this" way, however stood and announced, "Well, kitsune, if your ready to stop teasing Tanuki and actually leave I can't just let you walk home in the dark." He also pretended to be too cool to look her in the eye, although it was clear he was just trying to seem like he didn't like the appealing fox-doctor.
"I think the one who needs a keeper is you…" her reply lost its meaning in the fact that she stood to walk with him. Kaoru and Kenshin had, of course, already stood to see them out and watched as they faded away into the darkness together. Nothing much else was said while the two cleaned up and they went to bed without discussing anything.
Don't hurt me because it's late!!!! Chapters will be out more often because I'm making them shorter. I've got the next thirteen chapters semi-planned. Compared to my old 20 pg chapters, now they will be less than 10. Each chapter is split into groups of about 3. I haven't decided whether I will give them the same names. What do you think?
Review!!!!!!
And read Jade-Anime's fic, cause its good. And I say so... She updates daily! :flails: :dies:
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