R_M : Wow this is long ! ^^,

Suisei Lady Dragon : Be careful for what you wish for ... you just might get it ! And no , that wasn't a threat , uhhmmm ... just something to remind you that if it sucks ... uh ... well , so it sucks ... and I wash my hands off it (is that possible ? for an author to disown his or her own work ?)

* Strange looks from the audience*

R_M : O_O;;; Uh , sorry . That was just sleeplessness talking .

† † †

He could hear the birds chirping cheerfully outside and he wondered to himself ; Where am I ?

Slowly , he opened his haze-filled brown eyes and realized that he had been deposited in his room , snug amidst the thick covers and the soft pillows .

Strangely enough , now that he realized that he was safe , and warm , and comfortable , he felt a deep sadness so incomparable to what seemed like mere trifles that troubled his already disturbed existence ...

Because , in having the best things , in being secure and contented as he had never been in his childhood , he is reminded of the most significant person who had left a deep footprint on his heart .

And though he was the same reason Nagi had been tormented by his parents over their obsession with him , he was also the reason why Nagi felt safe and strong.

God ! The tales he could tell !

If only someone knew the terror he felt whenever a mission was coming , whenever he had to dwell on the fact that they would face each other once more , both intending to kill the other in a battlefield not meant for them .

He sat up slowly , the warm comforter sliding from its snug position around his shoulders as he surveyed the room with a sad look .

He was almost unhappy that Schuldich had saved him in time , but he realized that the big shock of nearly losing his life knocked him quite well into his senses .

It still hurt to remember everything that had happened the past year , and yet , he felt that he had grown stronger now that he was given another chance ... Ken after all , had taught him the most valuable lesson in life , and he had clung to it as faithfully as he had loved him from afar .

Never give up , I'll always be close .

He had said that just before they parted on that day , long ago ... and perhaps it was true . Perhaps Ken was indeed watching him from wherever he was .

But ... would – could he ever forgive Nagi ?

Never give up , I'll always be close .

Maybe he'll turn his life around after all ...

And now he knew exactly what he had to do ...

Thank you Ken ... I won't give up .

Saying a silent prayer , he went into the bathroom , his thoughts spinning a dangerous thread in his mind .

† † †

Ken woke up suddenly from his disturbed sleep .

His pillow was damp from tears and sweat that had fallen during the short night .

He coughed softly – he was a bit  feeling cold today .

Maybe he was running a fever . But he didn't know how to tell .

He desperately wanted ... craved for a hot bath , but Suzume had not yet come and she wouldn't permit him to take one all by himself .

Outside , the rain drizzled softly , pattering on the roof .

Aya .

Schuldich .

Who were they ?

Suzume quietly came into the room , bringing breakfast and some medicine  and placing them on the bedside table .

Apparently , he HAD been running a high fever last night and had a fit of and she came in frequently to check his fever . She had been alarmed to hear him whispering Abyssinian and Mastermind's names as he tossed and turned but decided to say nothing about it .

As she sat down on the bed beside him , her weight making an impression on the soft bed as the weight shifted ; he fell into her arms , sobbing softly like a small child having nightmares of monsters and goblins .

Oh Ken ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Schuldich stirred from his sleep, more tired than ever . His jade eyes blinked off the sleep and he yawned quietly as he stretched his lithe body awake .

The sunlight was particularly dull this morning , and he wondered why .

Padding slowly to the window  he noted the rain clouds gathering and he rubbed his cheek .

The news hadn't mentioned anything about rain today . He thought , closing his jade eyes and absorbing the quietness of the morning .

" Where are you mein lieb ? I'm still waiting for you ." His gentle laugh replayed over and over in his mind .

" Guten morgen , mein lieb ."

He whispered softly , sadly smiling at the happy picture of them together at the park that he had placed on the bedside table . " I hope you are having a fine day ."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya raised his tired eyes from the plants he was watering and for some unknown reason watched the grey clouds forming outside .

The shop was empty this morning because of the dismal weather , and both Omi and Yohji were at the backroom doing the inventory .

He sighed softly as he pressed his nose against the cold glass , making a soft cloud on the shop door .

The rain had already started to fall, making delicate trails on the glassy surface

God ! He missed him so much . His heart bled every single time he remembered his face , his laugh , his voice ...

It was so difficult ... not being able to blame anyone but himself .

Because it was his fault ... for being so careless ... for allowing him to be stolen ...

" I love you Ken Hidaka ..."

† † †

Suzume clasped her hands together in almost prayerful gesture as she watched her special patient tossing and turning on the bed . Oh God ... he's starting to remember everything !

Ken's fever had risen to a frantic crescendo the night before and the doctor had said that he had almost died had it not been for the antibiotics administered earlier that day and Suzume's quiet vigilance .

A whole med team was lodged downstairs in case an emergency arose , in which case they had been alerted once that night .

But after 3:04 a.m. Ken's fever had abated , much to his guardian's relief and although his brow was creased in pain , he was no longer in danger .

Suzume was in fact , dead tired ... but even through her muddled brain , it registered in her consciousness that Ken had never ceased to mutter the names of the two redheads ...

Suzume stood up and headed for the bathroom .

She couldn't fall asleep ! Ken needed her !

Almost violently , she splashed chill water on her face , jolting her awake with a suddenness that made her head ache . Slowly , she entered the room , trying to be silent to keep him from waking up , but when she had gotten there , his big grey eyes were staring up at her luminously in the dark .

" Why don't you sleep ?" He asked simply , those luminous orbs trained on her .

She tried to hide the disconcertment she felt at his sudden changed in mentality ... just a few days ago he had the mental capacity of a child , his memorier lost in a vague haze of a childhood illusion ... but all of a sudden , without any help from her at all , he seemed to have regained the age he had lost in his relapse .

Despite that , he was now different from the Ken she knew .

The Ken she knew was bright , cheerful . Always happy and 'most always loud . He was clumsy and childish and sometimes immature ...

This Ken was exactly the opposite .

She could tell that every motion , every word was measured . It was as if he was constantly building an invisible wall around himself that no one coul The bright flower had dulled into a crystal one . Perhaps some distant memory of the indistinct past had come back to haunt him ... dear God , she hoped not . He had been lost more than enough by many people ...

"  I ... I couldn't sleep ." she mumbled . She was perturbed by the hold he had on her and for a long moment , she couldn't bear to tear her gaze away from his sudden icy ones . She shook her head mentally and moved towards where he was lying tranquilly . A bit hesitant , she sat on the bed beside him and marveled at his good looks . " How are you feeling ?"

" Who is Aya and Schuldich ?" The soft voice had enough intensity to shock her wide awake .

She was taken aback by the question . " I ... I ... I don't know ." She was stuttering now , something she never did . " Why do you ask ?"

He held her gaze for a long time , the largeness of his expanded pupils glowing with an ember-like quality that made them comparable to a cat's . " I don't believe you ."

With that said , he laid his head against the pillow , his hair damp with sweat , and turned away from her ; concealing his large grey eyes which had held her so hypnotized for so long .

" Ken ..." She started , putting her hand on his arm lightly. " I honestly don't know who are what you are talking about ." His head had not turned , perhaps he was mad at her ... maybe he sensed that she was lying to him .

She waited for several long moments , hoping that she could muster enough courage to look him in the eye and impart the lie again . She hated lying , especially to him .

She peered over his shoulder , trying to catch a glimpse of his countenance , and then she realized , that he had fallen into a dreamless sleep ; his lips taut in a thin pale line .

† † †

Kyou dreamt that he was back in a cage , his ankles shackled with the large chain attached to the wall .

The cell reeked with human waste and the smell of chemicals and iron .

They cleaned it everyday , but They never managed to get rid of the smell . It had already been there even before They had put him there ... maybe a previous victim had suffered the same fate as he was ...

He knew they put him there because he had tried to escape .

He knew it was a punishment because he refused to follow their orders and it angered them .

The Professor wasn't exactly cross with him , he just sensed that somehow , the man was disappointed in him ... he certainly tried to hide it but , well , Kyou knew well enough that the *other* was more favored in their eyes .

Maybe it was because *he* was more powerful , and Kyou couldn't possibly hope to match against *him* ... but he tried .

He tried to please them all , to meet all their expectations .

And they tortured him almost beyond his capacity for all his efforts .

He taught himself to identify pain as pleasure so that he could bear all the injury , the damage they cause , and they told him that it was to train him for a difficult future ahead of him ...

He paced around in the cage on all fours .

As usual , he was naked as he did so .

They were afraid to clothe him because at one time , he had managed to kill three of the guards by setting them alight and wrapping the torn strips around their exposed necks .

That was when he was young .

6 years old .

The scene shifted and he was alone , outside of the cell . His cell . His world .

He was thrust out of that chaotic existence into another realm of possibility , where he can be the most powerful and where he could regain the Professor's confidence ... and as he was walking through the streets , a child with no one to love him , with nothing on his name . A child naked to the world ... he witnessed one of the most powerful sights he could ever behold ... one dog fighting madly against the other ...

Sharp fangs burying into soft , fur-covered skin , drawing blood ... but not so much as single yelp from his injured adversary .

Black , fighting white .

He remembered something when he was first born into this world ... a man's voice , a voice he recognized to be the Professor's said as he looked down upon the crying infant that was Kyou . " He is the Black Wolf ." and turning to the *other* the Professor gazed tenderly down " And he shall be the White Wolf ... our balance in the world ."

And he was borne off to his glass crib , silent as if in sleep , shuttering his grey eyes from the world . Even as an infant , he didn't want to be named the Black One . He was not evil ...

Slowly , he turned over , his consciousness returning to him slowly . His mental acuity had started to regain its bearing as he opened his eyes .

It was dark , and he could hear the rain still beating unmercifully outside .

Outside ?!

But didn't he ... ?

His eyes fell on the glowing remains of what might have been a feeble blaze made from leaves , twigs and rags .

He shivered involuntarily from the cold seeping through his pores . Even until now , his whole body was numb from the chill air , but still he could feel that wind .

He surveyed the room around him as he allowed the blood to flow regularly through his veins ...

He was in a tiny room , barely enough space for three men to sit huddled together ... perhaps it was some sort of a makeshift cellar or a basement .

And he had no idea how he had gotten there .

Feeling that the time elapsed was enough , he tried to shake his hands , to circulate the blood through his veins , but he couldn't raise his right hand – it was as if something or someone was holding him back ...

Perhaps he had been caught , perhaps he had ...

Almost apprehensive , he almost expected to see shackled binding him once more ... but his eyes met a little grey figure huddling in the corner , blending in the shadows .

Only the silver white hair betrayed the presence of that wretched being .

The hand holding his wrists was ice cold .

Deathly cold .

For the first time since waking up , he realized that the reason why he hadn't frozen to death was because of the accumulation of tatters sewn together to create a makeshift shawl that was wrapped around his shoulders ... the same one that probably belonged to the old woman beside him .

He almost wept to gaze at the wrinkled grey face and the brittle yellowed teeth biting against the blue lips to ward the cold away – or at least to ignore it .

His grey eyes dimmed in pity as he watched the motionless figure beside him ...

The old woman had brought him to her own little mousehole , and wrapped her sole protection around him ; a stranger , even as she herself froze to death ...

Perhaps he was right after all .

Because he had always believed that even lone wolves like him and the *other* had a mother watching over somewhere – somehow .

He pried the cold grip from his wrist and gazed tenderly on that little face , murmuring a small prayer as an offering to his saviour , and resolved to give her an honorary burial ... in a special place where his previous world had used to stand erect .

† † †

R_M : I think this is the first in-depth view I've had of Kyou , and I hope you get to understand him a little bit more because of this .

Whisper Reilman : I hope I get to see your review on "Save me" I guess you didn't see it , I was really looking forward to knowing what you think about it . I don't care if you flame me , shame me or blame me . I really want to know your two cents coz' you always give great suggestions and nice constructive criticism . ^^;

Well ... do I still have to say it ? Review onegai !