~ Chapter 3 ~

Hi again! Thanx for tunin' back in for another chapter of....

Me.

....and the LOTR characters, and my friends, but mostly....

Me.

*

Michelle muttered curses under her breath as she stormed through the scrub. "Stupid wizard," she growled. "I'll show him. I'll be the best fucking wizard in the world and then I'LL kill Rachel." Then she stopped and reflected on that. If she had the ability to kill people, then she'd better accomplish her lifelong goal first. Angeline. How to kill Angeline? Hmm....

Suddenly, a sour smell drifted through the air. Michelle jumped and made a face, gagging. Glancing up ahead, Michelle caught sight of a mounted, black cloaked figure. For some reason it looked familiar. "Hmm...." she said. "Let me think. How do I know those smelly thingies....?" Christina? No. Christina couldn't ride a horse to save her life. Suddenly, a nasty thought drifted into Michelle's mind. What if....? No. Must concentrate, she told herself. Like orange juice! She giggled at her own joke.

Sad.

The thing stopped, and slowly turned its hooded head to look at the girl. Michelle stared back.

"What're YOU staring at?" she demanded angrily. "Get lost!"

A long moment passed, as the thing took a deep breath, trying to sniff out the Ring.

"What's your fucking problem, huh?" snarled Michelle, taking a bold step forward. "What? You gotta cold?"

The horse that carried the thing snorted, rolling its red eyes.

"Don't YOU roll your eyes at ME, you stupid horsey!" shrieked Michelle. This was the last straw. Whipping her wand out of her pocket, she levelled it at the Ring Wraith and shouted, "Crucio!"

Meanwhile, back in the little forest clearing with the Fellowship, but (most importantly) me....

"You ALWAYS say that!" groaned Rachel. "That is SUCH a cliché!"

"What....?" Victoria frowned. "What's wrong with that?"

"Cliché?" asked Aragorn. "What is a cliché?"

Rachel's jaw dropped. Her eyes widened. "Are you stupid?" she asked, "or are you stupid?"

Legolas frowned. "Am I mistaken in thinking that you just asked the same question twice?" he asked.

*OK, OK. No need to scream at me. I KNOW. I have no idea WHAT the LOTR characters are like. Sigh *

"No."

"Then....why did you repeat it?" Legolas looked genuinely puzzled.

Christina let out a longing sigh and leaned over to Rachel. "He looks SO cute like that," she giggled breathlessly.

"What?" asked Rachel innocently. "The look of utter ignorance? You must be ADORABLE."

Christina blinked, blankly.

"Aw...." drawled Rachel, spinning the other girl round to face the rest of the group. "Ain't she cute?"

Gandalf appeared lost for words. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it, then closed it again.

"What's he doing?" asked Victoria, giggling.

"Airing his mouth," shrugged Rachel knowingly. "You wanna tic tac?"

"Don't be mean," scolded Stephanie.

"Yeah, well being one of the world's problems, I guess that's my job, isn't it?" shrugged Rachel.

"Well, seeing that we're already in LOTR, why don't we help Frodo?" asked Victoria. "I mean, with our grasp of magic-"

Rachel muttered something under her breath.

"What?" Victoria shot a sharp look at her, brows twitching together.

"Albeit, rudimentary. I reckon we should drag our arses straight back to the world of fairies and Christina's ex, before Gollum strangles us in our sleep," repeated Rachel.

*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Atak of da bad spelin! Rn 4 yor lyvs!

.........................

I'm sorry but I'll have to end this chapter here. I've just forgotten how to spell, and Writer's Block is coming up in waves stronger than the stench that rolls off Chrissy-tina. Sorry, Chris. Tina

Nah, newa, my spelling's gone bonkers, so....yeah.

Cyas!