~ Chapter 9 ~
I NEED to see X2. Not 'want'. NEED.
*
F
"We shall camp here for the night," decided Aragorn, putting his pack down on a rock.
"Uh NGU!" gasped Rachel, talking around the gag. "I hock e oz gonga cank ho ga gay!"
"What did she say?" asked Aragorn.
Victoria rolled her eyes. "You don't want to know," she replied.
"Sounded like something about a gay and a-" began Stephanie, but Victoria shook her head.
"Don't, Steph," she said. "Some things are better left unsaid."
"Perhaps we should remove her gag," suggested Michelle. "I can't understand a single fucking thing she's saying and you're all being stupid, boring assholes."
"Hea hea!" cheered Rachel.
Gandalf frowned. "Oh....very well then," he sighed.
The gag was removed and the sarcasm replaced it.
"Why, THANK you, oh great wizard of oz!" exclaimed Rachel. "Thou art ever so kind to remove thy gag from-"
"What the hell is it with the old speech?" sighed Victoria.
"Archaic," corrected Rachel. "And I'm trying to breech a time barrier here. See, sarcasm seems to be pretty recent to these unfortunate souls, so I figured that if I used archaic speech instead, they might geddit. Because you can't speak....this is an example, yeah? Y'can't tell French jokes to a German guy because it's not in their language. And though the material of the speech is unable to be comprehended by the German mind, it WILL be assisted by the use of the listener's mothertongue for the transfer of the material. So although these losers don't know what the fuck I'm saying through sarcasm, well- they're old, yeah? So-"
"Rachel?" asked Katie.
"What?"
"Shut up."
"You sound like a fucking double of Angeline, only you use slang," said Michelle. "You're boring too. Put the gag back on."
Rachel fixed the approaching hobbit with an evil look. "Don't you DARE," she snarled.
Whimpering, Pippin backed away.
A/N
Stupid hobbitses. I doesn't like 'em
E/A/N
"What's for dinner?" asked Merry, eyeing Aragorn's pack. "I'm hungry."
"Rabbit," replied Aragorn.
Suddenly, Stephanie's eyes grew wide and her lower lip trembled. "Rabbit?" she asked in a trembling voice. "As in- the ANIMAL, rabbit?"
"No, Steph," said Rachel. "The car. We're eating trucks for dinner."
"Mmm....cars," said Michelle, rubbing her stomach.
Christina giggled. "You're pathetic," she said.
"You see, Stephanie is a vegetarian," explained Victoria. "She can't eat meat."
"Why?" asked Legolas.
"Because it's against my religion," said Stephanie.
"Religion?"
"A spiritual belief," Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Do YOU have a religion?" asked Legolas, interested now. "Why is it against her religion? Were we not meant to eat meat?"
"I'm Buddhist," said Steph. "I'm not allowed to eat meat."
"Well then," said Legolas. "In that case, what CAN you eat?"
"Cars," said Rachel.
"Vegetables," corrected Steph.
"What is a car?" questioned Aragorn as his friend, Legolas dug through his pack for some potatoes.
"Something that goes 'broom broom' and runs over people!" shrieked Michelle, clapping her hands in delight. "HAHA! IT KILLS PEOPLE! AHAHAHAHA!"
Aragorn looked troubled. "And you EAT these?" he asked.
Rachel fell over, laughing.
A
"NO!" screamed Angeline, pointing at an orc. "MOVE! NOW!" She had developed a bellow over the past couple of months, partly due to necessity, and partly due to her extreme frustration with the idiotic orcs.
Startled, the orc leapt aside as the sack of amateur gunpowder blew up.
"You IDIOT!" Angeline fumed. Another sack of potential gunpowder ruined. At this rate, she would take a good few YEARS and she still wouldn't have a bag of gunpowder HALF as good as the type used by school CADETS. "Clear out!"
"Excuse me," said a male voice behind her. "I was wondering if you could give me the location of this place."
Angeline froze. It was a voice she had often heard in her dreams but never before in real life.
*
AJ! JK! LOL! I kill me.
I NEED to see X2. Not 'want'. NEED.
*
F
"We shall camp here for the night," decided Aragorn, putting his pack down on a rock.
"Uh NGU!" gasped Rachel, talking around the gag. "I hock e oz gonga cank ho ga gay!"
"What did she say?" asked Aragorn.
Victoria rolled her eyes. "You don't want to know," she replied.
"Sounded like something about a gay and a-" began Stephanie, but Victoria shook her head.
"Don't, Steph," she said. "Some things are better left unsaid."
"Perhaps we should remove her gag," suggested Michelle. "I can't understand a single fucking thing she's saying and you're all being stupid, boring assholes."
"Hea hea!" cheered Rachel.
Gandalf frowned. "Oh....very well then," he sighed.
The gag was removed and the sarcasm replaced it.
"Why, THANK you, oh great wizard of oz!" exclaimed Rachel. "Thou art ever so kind to remove thy gag from-"
"What the hell is it with the old speech?" sighed Victoria.
"Archaic," corrected Rachel. "And I'm trying to breech a time barrier here. See, sarcasm seems to be pretty recent to these unfortunate souls, so I figured that if I used archaic speech instead, they might geddit. Because you can't speak....this is an example, yeah? Y'can't tell French jokes to a German guy because it's not in their language. And though the material of the speech is unable to be comprehended by the German mind, it WILL be assisted by the use of the listener's mothertongue for the transfer of the material. So although these losers don't know what the fuck I'm saying through sarcasm, well- they're old, yeah? So-"
"Rachel?" asked Katie.
"What?"
"Shut up."
"You sound like a fucking double of Angeline, only you use slang," said Michelle. "You're boring too. Put the gag back on."
Rachel fixed the approaching hobbit with an evil look. "Don't you DARE," she snarled.
Whimpering, Pippin backed away.
A/N
Stupid hobbitses. I doesn't like 'em
E/A/N
"What's for dinner?" asked Merry, eyeing Aragorn's pack. "I'm hungry."
"Rabbit," replied Aragorn.
Suddenly, Stephanie's eyes grew wide and her lower lip trembled. "Rabbit?" she asked in a trembling voice. "As in- the ANIMAL, rabbit?"
"No, Steph," said Rachel. "The car. We're eating trucks for dinner."
"Mmm....cars," said Michelle, rubbing her stomach.
Christina giggled. "You're pathetic," she said.
"You see, Stephanie is a vegetarian," explained Victoria. "She can't eat meat."
"Why?" asked Legolas.
"Because it's against my religion," said Stephanie.
"Religion?"
"A spiritual belief," Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Do YOU have a religion?" asked Legolas, interested now. "Why is it against her religion? Were we not meant to eat meat?"
"I'm Buddhist," said Steph. "I'm not allowed to eat meat."
"Well then," said Legolas. "In that case, what CAN you eat?"
"Cars," said Rachel.
"Vegetables," corrected Steph.
"What is a car?" questioned Aragorn as his friend, Legolas dug through his pack for some potatoes.
"Something that goes 'broom broom' and runs over people!" shrieked Michelle, clapping her hands in delight. "HAHA! IT KILLS PEOPLE! AHAHAHAHA!"
Aragorn looked troubled. "And you EAT these?" he asked.
Rachel fell over, laughing.
A
"NO!" screamed Angeline, pointing at an orc. "MOVE! NOW!" She had developed a bellow over the past couple of months, partly due to necessity, and partly due to her extreme frustration with the idiotic orcs.
Startled, the orc leapt aside as the sack of amateur gunpowder blew up.
"You IDIOT!" Angeline fumed. Another sack of potential gunpowder ruined. At this rate, she would take a good few YEARS and she still wouldn't have a bag of gunpowder HALF as good as the type used by school CADETS. "Clear out!"
"Excuse me," said a male voice behind her. "I was wondering if you could give me the location of this place."
Angeline froze. It was a voice she had often heard in her dreams but never before in real life.
*
AJ! JK! LOL! I kill me.
