Title: This Feeling That Remains.

Summary: In the aftermath of the car accident, the Gilmore Girls try to pick up the pieces and move on.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Gilmore Girls. This story idea is my own, although it does contain some scenes from the actual show in places. (mainly at the beginning)

Authors Note: This fic starts during the episode Teach Me Tonight, right after Lorelai leaves Rory at the hospital to go and find Jess. It's a Java/Lit fic.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. Especially LitJJAiken, Tye (Dayum!), Jayde and ILoveJess. I'm so glad you liked it, although with reviews that nice at the very start, I now get to worry more about disappointing you all. lol

*~*~*~*

Lorelai dumped some more blankets at the end of Rory's bed.

"Mom, no more!" Rory pleaded.

"You need to rest." Lorelai insisted.

"Blankets don't help you rest." She pointed out.

"Yes, but they make you warm, which makes you snuggly, which makes you sleepy, which helps you rest." Lorelai grinned.

Rory stared at Lorelai for a moment and then shook her head.

"I give up. If making me a nest will make you happy…"

"It will."

"Fine." Rory sighed, allowing Lorelai to drape more blankets over her.

She got the feeling something had happened that Lorelai wasn't telling her about. She didn't know what. She wasn't sure she wanted to know either.

Lorelai had been upset last night, that had been obvious. She'd tried to hide it at the hospital for Rory's sake. But Rory knew her too well. She'd sworn that she hadn't left the hospital and done anything she'd regret later, but Rory still wondered. Her mother was one to act on impulse. And when it came to Rory all common sense flew out of the window.

"Ok… I'm going to go to Luke's." Lorelai sighed, her smile fading slightly.

"I can come."

"No, you're wounded. You need to stay in bed."

"I have a fractured wrist. I can walk. I'm not contagious. I wanna' come." Rory pouted.

"You just, rest up. I'll go get breakfast and bring it back."

"But…"

"Shhh! Mommy is enjoying playing Nursie." Lorelai said with a nod for emphasis.

"Mouth is open Nursie, should be shut." Rory smirked, putting on a high pitch posh English accent.

"Ha ha. You and … your quirky Queenie ways." Lorelai said with a playful glare, pointing her finger at Rory.

"Why can't I go to Luke's?" Rory pestered.

"Because, you need your bed rest, sweet one." Lorelai smiled, patting her daughter on the head.

Rory scrunched her nose up and moved her head away.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Um… That your father is actually Sting?" Lorelai offered.

"Aside from that disturbing piece of information."

"That… the earth is flat?"

"Nope, there's something else." Rory sighed, eyeing her mother suspiciously.

"Well, if it's not that I used to be John Cleese, then I don't know what it is."

"Fine, go." Rory said, waving Lorelai away.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Lorelai promised.

Rory watched Lorelai leave and rested back against the mountain of pillows she'd had made for her. She looked through the stack of CD's beside her but didn't see one she felt like listening to. She glanced at the phone and considered calling Lane. Or Dean. Or maybe Jess. But she didn't know what she'd say to any of them.

* * * * *


As Lorelai entered the diner Luke looked up from the coffee he was pouring.

"Hey." She said timidly, giving him a small wave.

"Hi." He nodded, half smiling back at her.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked, following him back over to the counter.

"Sure, what's up?" He asked, returning the coffee pot to its holder and giving her his full attention.

"Not here. Can we…" She pointed over to the stairs.

"Uh…" He sighed and looked around.

The diner wasn't very busy, and Caesar could definitely handle it alone. He had no excuse.

"Sure."

Lorelai smiled gratefully and they both headed over to the stairs and up to the apartment.

"So, what's on your mind?" Luke asked as he opened the door and let them inside.

"I just wanted to apologize to you. I don't really recall a whole lot about last night." She said, looking down at her feet as she shifted uncomfortably from one to the other. "I just have a feeling that, in my blind rage against Jess, I may have said some things to you that I didn't mean."

"It's ok." He said with a small smile. "I don't really recall a lot of what you said either, so I'm not offended."

"Good." She chuckled.

They fell into a semi comfortable silence and Lorelai looked around the room, her eyes falling on Jess side of the apartment. She frowned and slowly walked towards it.

"Ok, again, I don't remember a whole lot about last night… but… wasn't there stuff over here." She asked, gesturing to the shelves and table.

"He's gone." Sighed Luke.

"Oh." Said Lorelai, unable to hide her surprise.

"It's for the best." He said with a small shrug.

"Luke… I didn't mean for you to send him away I…"

Lorelai suddenly felt very ashamed. The image of Jess from the pervious night flashed through her mind. He was just a kid.

"I didn't."

"Oh?"

"He wanted to go."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They were silent again. Neither knowing what to say. After a few minutes, Lorelai spoke.

"I guess I should be going. I just wanted to… apologize."

"Ok."

"Ok. So… You'd better get back down there. You're no good to me if you're not making pancakes." She chuckled.

"Ah." He nodded. "And her motive becomes clear."

"Crystal." Grinned Lorelai.

Luke started towards the door and, after stealing a final glance at the sparse area of the apartment that used to be Jess's room, Lorelai followed.

* * * * *


He hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door. He was tired. He didn't want to deal with her. After stalling to look around him, shift one of his bags off of his shoulder and contemplate having a cigarette before going in, he knocked.

"I said I'm not interested…" Liz opened the door, looking irritated. Her expression changed to one of surprise and she took a step back. "Jess."

"Hi."

"What's going on?" She frowned as he walked past her and headed straight for his room.

"I'm back."

"I see that. I'd like to know why. I'd also like to know why no one bothered to tell me you'd be coming." She said, closing the door and following him.

"It was a very spontaneous decision." He replied dryly.

"So what did you do this time?" She sighed in disappointment.

"Nothing."

"Oh, right. So Luke just sent you home for being the best nephew a guy could ask for?"

"I'm tired. I haven't slept in over 36 hours."

"Good for you. Why are you home, Jess?" She demanded.

"Can we talk about this later?"

"No. Look… I gotta' go to work soon, so… just tell me."

"You go to work, I'll sleep. We'll talk later." He practically ordered, trying to close his bedroom door on her.

"Jess, talk to me!"

"Look… I messed up and I asked Luke to let me come home."

"He didn't send you home?"

"Not the way you're thinking, no."

"So what happened? What did you mess up?" She asked, losing her battle to keep the door open.

"Everything." He sighed, leaning his back against the door and finally closing it.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Jess?" Liz called from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?"

"I'll see you when I get home."

"Ok."

"And Jess?"

"Yeah?" He replied, starting to get annoyed.

"Welcome home, baby." She said gently before walking away.

He rolled his eyes at the word 'baby'. He hated it, but she often referred to him as her baby and had done since he was a child. She showed no signs of dropping the habit any time soon.

He looked around his room. His bed had no sheets on it. It was just a mattress and a frame, a pile of neatly folded blankets sitting at one end.

Jess walked over to it and sat down. He was home. But it didn't feel the same. He moved back on the bed and laid down, not bothering to put the sheets on the mattress.

He fell asleep.

* * * * *


Rory watched in amusement as Lorelai unpacked their breakfast.

"Why did you get this?" She frowned, peering into a box and shaking the contents around. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure. I just got one of everything on the breakfast menu… I didn't know what you'd want."

"Pancakes would have been fine." Rory chuckled, sipping her coffee.

"But what if I'd brought you pancakes and I'd had waffles, and you'd decided you wanted waffles?" Lorelai pointed out.

"Then we could have shared."

"What if I didn't want pancakes, and I wanted all my waffles? Or what if I'd had eggs and you'd wanted eggs. Or French toast. Or a grapefruit..."

"Ok, you win." Rory smiled.

"I love it when I win." Lorelai giggled.

"So, how's Luke?"

"Good." Lorelai shrugged. "Wh- Why wouldn't he be good?"

"No reason…" Rory replied, confused by her mothers sudden nervousness. "I just… haven't been allowed out into the world today. I usually see Luke every morning. So I wanted to make sure that the one morning where I didn't see him, he was still ok."

"Well he's ok." Lorelai said quickly.

"Well ok." Rory frowned.

"When does Dean get home?" Lorelai asked, trying to change the subject.

"Tomorrow." Rory sighed. "Mom, is there something going on that I should know about?"

"Nope."

"Mom!"

"No." Lorelai took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Nothing to worry your pretty little head over."

"Ok, now I'm worried and insulted. Stop patronizing me."

"I'm not!"

"I'm a big girl. I can take it. Just tell me what's going on."

"Nothing! Nothing is going on!" Lorelai insisted defensively.

"Really?"

"I swear. Nothing." Lorelai managed to say convincingly.

"Ok." Rory said quietly. "Sorry."

"Forgiven." Lorelai smiled, sitting on the edge of Rory's bed and handing her the box with pancakes in.

* * * * *


Rory finally managed to track Lorelai down in the audience at the Stars Hollow Movie Festival. She took her seat and turned her attention to the screen.

"Oh my lord!" She gasped quietly.

On the screen in front of them Kirk was dancing, badly.

"Quick, cover your eyes! You're just a child, you shouldn't have to see this!" Lorelai insisted, holding her hand up over Rory's eyes.

"He's taking his shirt off!" Rory cringed, pushing Lorelai's hand away and watching in disbelief.

The film ended and the very confused and stunned audience applauded.

"I did the choreography!" Miss Patty chuckled proudly to Lorelai and Rory.

"Mm." Lorelai smiled back, trying to contain her laughter.

"Patty, doll, come here!" Babette called eagerly from across the aisle.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye Patty." Lorelai said cheerfully as Miss Patty left. "So, how are you feeling?" She asked Rory.

"Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest!" Rory exclaimed, looking nauseated.

"No!" Came Miss Patty's shocked voice from the seat next to Babette, causing Lorelai and Rory to look over.

"I swear to God!" Babette insisted.

"When?"

"Last night, not long after the accident happened, Luke walked him straight to the bus station, stuck the kid on a bus, sent him home to his mom!" Babette almost whispered.

"I can't believe Luke would send him off like that." Miss Patty said, her tone still holding a hint of shock.

"Well, I heard the kid wanted to go. I don't know. All I know is that Jess is gone."

"Well, well, well. What will we do for entertainment around here?" Miss Patty asked disappointedly.

"Beats the hell outta' me!" Babette replied.

Rory felt tears sting her eyes. She wanted to cry right there in the middle of the Festival. But she couldn't. She wasn't supposed to care. So what if Jess was gone? It wasn't like he was the closest friend she'd ever had. And he certainly wasn't anything more than a friend. She had no right to cry. She had no reason to cry.

But she wanted to.

Lorelai felt uncomfortable. Rory didn't seem to care that she had already known. Either that or she hadn't figured it out yet. She couldn't bring herself to look at her daughter. She didn't see the disheartened look on Rory's face. She just stared straight ahead and tried to ignore the guilt she felt. It was small, but it was there.