Title: This Feeling That Remains.

Summary: In the aftermath of the car accident, the Gilmore Girls try to pick up the pieces and move on.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Gilmore Girls. This story idea is my own, although it does contain some scenes from the actual show in places. (mainly at the beginning)

Authors Note: This fic starts during the episode Teach Me Tonight, right after Lorelai leaves Rory at the hospital to go and find Jess. It's a Java/Lit fic.

Thanks to all the people who review this fic every time I update and also to the people who reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate the support!

*~*~*~*

Lorelai looked up and down the corridor and then down at her watch.

"She'll be here." Luke reassured her.

"But the ceremony starts in like 10 minutes." Lorelai sighed, ready to give up.

"Honey, she wouldn't miss this." Sookie said supportively.

"Yeah, I'm sure she's just stuck in traffic or… maybe there was an accident." Jackson interjected.

"Accident?" Lorelai asked, looking at Luke in a panicked daze.

"Jackson, sweetie, that's not helpful." Sookie said quietly, shaking her head.

"What if he's right? What if she's hurt!" Lorelai asked, gripping Luke by the arm.

"I can't speak for Rory, but… Ow!" Luke said, pulling his arm away.

"Lorelai, I'm sure she's fine. Just… take a few deep breaths, and clam down."

"I can't calm down Sookie. I lost my kid!" Lorelai said, running her hand through her hair.

"Graduates, please take your seats."

Lorelai spun around looking towards where the announcement had come from.

"I have to go. They're starting. They're starting and she's not here."

"She'll be here." Luke repeated, ushering Lorelai towards the main hall.

"Promise?" Lorelai sighed.

"I promise."

"If you're wrong, can I have a lifetime supply of free coffee?" Lorelai asked hopefully.

"Sure." Luke said with a roll of his eyes.

"Huh." Lorelai looked thoughtful. "Now I kinda hope she's a no show."

Sookie chuckled and followed Jackson to their seats.

"Tell me I look fabulous." Lorelai insisted, brushing imaginary dirt off of her robe.

"You look like an extra in a Harry Potter film." Luke deadpanned and she hit him before making her way to her seat.

Lorelai looked around her and everything seemed to play out in slow motion. This was it. She was graduating from college, something she hadn't been able to do along side everyone she grew up with. Something she was doing alone, on her own terms, in her own time. Her parents were there. Her best friends were there. But her daughter wasn't.

She took her seat in the sea of caps and gowns and the glowing faces of her fellow students.

* * * * *


Rory rested her head back against the seat and let out another deep sigh as the bus made it's penultimate stop before Hartford.

"Don't you just hate the local?" Said the man in the seat beside her.

"Excuse me?"

"The local. Stops here. Stops there. Stops everywhere is can on its way to the stop you actually want." He sighed, closing his eyes.

"Yeah. I noticed." She mumbled, looking down at her hands and forcing herself not to cry.

"You're late for something too, huh?" He asked with a half smile.

"My mom, she's graduating from business school tonight and I'm supposed to be there. And I'm not."

"Yep. That's the local for ya'. It'll make you late time after time, until finally you don't have a friend left in the world, 'cos they all gave up on ya' and went home." He said bitterly, shaking his head in disgust.

Rory closed her eyes tightly, hoping beyond hope that her mother hadn't given up on her yet.

The bus lurched forward again, and Rory was brought forth from her discouraged reverie. Realizing her stop was next she started to gather up her coat, backpack and book, eager to get off of the bus. So eager in fact, that she was standing at the front of the bus for 3 minutes before if rounded the corner and started down the street towards the college.

"You really should be seated, miss." The driver instructed her, obviously not bothered enough by her lingering presence to force her to sit down.

"Are we going as fast as we can?" She asked, peering through the window at the dark street ahead of them as it disappeared under the bus.

"Are we going at the speed limit for this area of town? Yes."

"Are we almost there?" Rory asked urgently.

"Almost where? You need to use the bathroom or something?" He chuckled, taking a sideways glance at her.

"The college. Are we there yet?"

"Hartford Community College?" He frowned. "We're not stopping there tonight, miss."

"What?!"

"Next stop is the down town station." He informed her casually.

"Stop the bus!" She cried desperately.

"What?"

"Stop! Please! Stop the bus, I have to get off!"

"I can't just…"

"Please?! I have to get off here. My mom's waiting and it's one of the most important nights of her life! Please!" Rory begged, tears escaping from her eyes.

"Ah, geez!" The driver took another look at Rory and rolled his eyes at her tears. "Nothing to cry over, girly!" He sighed, pulling the bus over at the side of the road and opening the doors.

"Thank you!" Rory gasped, wiping her eyes. "You are my hero. They will write books about you. You are a wonderful man!"

The driver laughed in amusement as Rory practically jumped from the bus, her backpack and coat trailing along the ground beside her as she ran in the direction the bus had just come from.

She smiled and picked up speed when she saw the gates of the college and the lights coming from the main entrance.

"Wait for me! I'm coming! Just wait!" She muttered breathlessly as she hurried across the busy parking lot and up the steps of the main building.

"Excuse me… where's the…" Rory stopped breathlessly, dropping her belongings in a heap on the floor.

"The… graduation?" Smiled the woman she'd stopped to speak to.

Rory nodded and looked up, her eyes falling on a sign.

Graduation - Main Hall

"Nevermind." Rory smiled in relief.

Leaving her bag and coat in a pile on the floor, she ran in the direction the sign was pointing. The sound of applause and names being called drifted through the air, getting louder all the time.

She finally stopped in the open doorway of a large hall full of proud parents and excited graduates.

"Joanne Garver…"

She scanned the crowd, unable to tell one black-capped student from another. Her eyes fell on Sookie, Jackson, and Luke in the back row and she hurried over to them.

"Hey sweetie!" Sookie exclaimed cheerfully, moving her bag from the seat beside her so Rory could sit down.

"Did I miss it?" Rory whispered.

"No. Your mom's still waiting to go up there." Sookie assured her, smiling at the obvious relief on Rory's face.

"John Lawrence Gilfer... Lorelai Victoria Gilmore..."

"That's her! That's mom!" Rory beamed excitedly, craning her neck to see Lorelai approach the stage.

As she made her way up the steps of the stage, Lorelai was almost fearful to look out into the audience. To see, what she expected to be, the indifferent expressions on her parents faces. To see her daughter hadn't made it. To see Raul pointing his camera in her face, making sure he captured every second of disappointment during one of the most important moments of her life.

She decided she owed it to her friends to at least glance in their direction and so, with diploma in hand she turned to face the crowd.

The indifferent expressions on her parent's faces looked remarkably like pride. Her mother's eyes seemed to be shedding tears. Her father's lips seemed to have formed a smile. And her eyes and lips began to do the same.

A sharp whistle from the back of the room caused her to look up. There stood Luke, Jackson, Sookie and Rory. Luke, being the one responsible for the whistle, was now applauding heartily. Looking prouder than she'd ever seen him.
Sookie was on the verge of tears, but still clapping wildly, tugging on Jackson's arm every so often and pointing at Lorelai.

Her eyes finally alighted on Rory. Her daughter. Her pride and joy. Clapping louder and smiling wider than anyone in the room.

Lorelai grinned and waved her diploma around a little, inciting more applause and whistling from her gathered friends.

In one simple but significant move, she relocated her tassel from one side of her cap to the other and made her way off of the stage.

* * * * *


The passenger side door of the jeep opened and Lorelai almost fell out.

"Easy there." Chuckled Luke, switching off the engine and getting out to help her. "It's not every day you consume half your body weight in Martini's, maybe you should take it at a slightly slower pace."

"I am a diplomat!" Lorelai announced proudly, allowing Rory and Luke to lift her out of her seat.

"No, you're a graduate." Rory smirked.

"Hey. Who's the one with the diploma here, lady, you or me?"

"Fine, you're a diplomat." Rory conceded, rolling her eyes.

"You're drunk, is what you are." Luke smiled to himself as Lorelai wrapped her arms around his neck.

"No. I'm Henry the Eighth I am, Henry the Eighth I am, I am…" She sang in a slurred, off key voice.

"And since the second verse is the same as the first, I don't think we really need to hear it." Rory laughed softly, unlocking the door and moving aside so Luke could 'carry' Lorelai inside.

"Hey! I am a diplomat, and I have a diploma to prove it!" Announced Lorelai, holding out her hand, and staring at it. "Oh no!"

"What?" Frowned Rory, looking around her for the source of Lorelai's concern.

"Where's my diploma?!"

"You had to give it back, remember? They're sending them away to get scrawled on." Luke reminded her.

"Ooooooh yeah." Lorelai nodded and smiled sheepishly.

"Where should I put her?"

"The couch is fine."

Luke carried Lorelai over to the couch and gently helped her lay down. When he tried to stand up, she started to pull him back down.

"Did you know, that I love you?" Lorelai smiled up at Luke, her eyes slowly closing.

"I think you love everyone tonight." He sighed.

"But I really love you, Luke." She insisted in a tone so innocent and pleading that Luke almost let himself believe it.

"Thanks for the help getting her inside." Rory smiled, leaning against the banisters of the stairs and watching her mother try and plant a kiss on Luke's cheek.

Luke nodded and attempted to lift Lorelai's arms from around his neck.

"That's alright." He stood up and looked down at her.

Her fight to win a kiss from Luke had tired her out, and as soon as her arms were untangled from around his neck and had fallen to hers sides, she had fallen too. Into a deep sleep.

"Think she'll be ok like that?" He frowned.

Rory shook her head and smiled.

"I think she's all liquored up and all partied out. She should be ok there until tomorrow."

"Ok, well… Goodnight, Rory." He nodded and smiled, walking back over to the front door.

"Night, Luke. Thanks again." She called after him before shutting the door.

She walked back over to Lorelai and knelt beside her, brushing the hair out of her face gently, causing her nose to twitch.

"Big day, huh?" She laughed softly.

Lorelai let out a deep sigh and brushed her nose with the back of her hand in a very uncoordinated manner.

"Goodnight, mom." Rory whispered.

After kissing Lorelai on the forehead, she settled herself into a chair across the room, hugging a cushion and staring into the dark thoughtfully.