Title: This Feeling That Remains.

Summary: In the aftermath of the car accident, the Gilmore Girls try to pick up the pieces and move on.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Gilmore Girls. This story idea is my own, although it does contain some scenes from the actual show in places. (mainly at the beginning)

Authors Note: This fic starts during the episode Teach Me Tonight, right after Lorelai leaves Rory at the hospital to go and find Jess. It's a Java/Lit fic.

Thanks to ILoveJess, JCtigerwolf4e, Tye, Arianna, sleepless-dreams, Leigh, Jaded Evie, LCI-02/03, mememe, Roganu-chan, airforcebrat529 and Jayde! I'm so glad so many of you seemed to enjoy the last chapter, so here's some more. :)

*~*~*~*

It was beautiful. It was more than just beautiful. It was perfect. As Lorelai looked around her at the Inn and it's grounds she smiled and nodded in approval.

Sookie and Jackson deserved this. They deserved the sunshine, and the smiles, and the pure magnificence of everything around them. The flower garlands, hanging from random tree branches and parts of the Inn's porch, blew gently in the soft summer breeze. They weren't even needed. It would still be stunning without them.

"Mom, Michel's not coming out until you promise him there are no swans." Rory chirped, interrupting Lorelai's observation of her surroundings.

"There's aren't any." Lorelai frowned.

"What about the ones on the pond…" Rory asked.

"Rory… sweetie… repeat after me. There aren't any."

"There aren't any."

"Good girl, now go tell Michel that very same thing." She smiled playfully.

Rory rolled her eyes and chuckled, hurrying back inside.

"You know, as a parent, you're supposed to set a good example to your child."

Lorelai smiled wider and turned around.

"And setting Michel up to be chased around by swans isn't setting a good example?" She asked innocently.

"I never said that." Luke smirked. "But if you could find a way to do it without encouraging your daughter to lie for you, that might be better."

"Noted." Lorelai said seriously, before allowing the smile to return to her lips. "So, I see you managed to drag yourself away from the diner?"

"Well…" Luke shrugged awkwardly and turned away from her. "I thought that… you know… Sookie's kind of a… friend, and I was invited and… it'd be rude not to and…"

"If you'd have read the invitation, you'd have noticed that only two excuses for your presence were necessary." She teased.

"It's been a while since I've been to a wedding. I figured that if I wasn't related to the bride or groom then very little could go wrong." He smiled.

"I'm glad you came."

"You are?"

Lorelai nodded and smiled more as she and Luke held eye contact for a moment longer than needed. An act they'd been practicing and improving quite a lot since her graduation.

"Lorelai?"

Reluctantly, she broke the stare and looked over at Dean.

"Hey. Aren't we looking all suity today?" She smiled.

"Well, it's a wedding right? At least it didn't require a top hat and tails." He chuckled. "Is Rory around?"

"Yeah, she just went inside to try and coax Michel out."

The sound of singing accompanied by a piano, drifted across the lawn of the Inn, and they all looked over to see where it was coming from.

"Kirk can sing?" Lorelai sighed. "Should have known."

"Want me to go and throw him in the pond?" Luke offered.

"That'd be great." Lorelai chuckled, guiding Dean inside to find Rory.

Luke smiled thoughtfully and watched Lorelai and Dean leave. After a moment she turned around and caught him watching her and felt a blush light up her cheeks.

"What's going on there?" Dean asked, noticing the silent exchange.

"Huh? Oh… nothing…" Lorelai shrugged casually.

"Right. You constantly blush at nothing." He nodded, unconvinced.

Rory hurried across the lawn, stopping and frowning as she looked around for her mother.

"Rory, darl, when should we take our seats?"

Rory spun around to see who had spoken to her, too distracted to recognize the voice.

"Oh, Babette, hey. Uh… I'm not sure. Let me find out, ok?" She smiled politely as she resumed her search for Lorelai.

"Thanks, hun. By the way, you girls look gorgeous!" Babette exclaimed enthusiastically to Rory's retreating back.

Rory wondered what good one gorgeous bridesmaid was without a gorgeous maid or honor and a gorgeous bride. She finally spotted Luke, the last person she'd seen Lorelai talking to, and walked quickly towards him.

"Hey Luke, have you seen my mom?"

"Uh… yeah, she took Dean inside to look for you." He nodded.

"I must have just missed them." She sighed and looked over at Kirk. "He can sing? I should have known."

"I'm about to put an end to that, actually." Luke smirked.

"Ok, I'll let you get back to… to… you know what? I don't want to know what you're about to do."

"Probably best."

They parted ways and Rory started back towards the Inn. As she glanced over at the pond she saw a figure. Almost a shadow really. Standing so far away and so concealed that no one else was taking notice.
She frowned and stared at it for a minute. She couldn't see the face of the person, but all her senses told her they were staring right back at her. And she turned, heading towards the stranger, instead of towards the Inn.

"Jess…" She almost whispered, her breath catching in her throat.

"Hey." He said casually, with a gentle sigh, as if his presence there shouldn't surprise her at all.

"Uh…" She stopped, her eyes locking with his. "What… uh… why…"

"Insert full question here." He smirked.

"What are you doing here?"

"You look nice." He said sincerely.

"Jess…"

"You know, you could say hello?"

"Hello."

"Much better. You'd think that school of yours would teach you some manners."

His laid-back attitude frustrated her. But her primary emotion at that moment was surprise, and it seemed to buffer her irritation.

"Why are you here?"

"There's a wedding, right?" He asked nonchalantly.

"No. I mean… yes. But it's invitation only."

"Huh."

"So… you should go now." She mumbled, wrapping her arms around herself, as if she was trying to protect herself from something.

"Again, with the lack of manners."

"Jess…" She sighed impatiently, looking around to see if anyone had noticed them.

"You know, there's a simple solution to this little predicament we currently find ourselves in."

"What predicament would that be?"

"Well… I'm without an invitation. But I'm pretty sure you're not. And I'm willing to bet that your invitation says 'Rory Gilmore and Guest'." He smiled playfully.

"It does. But I have a guest. I have a Dean. Dean is here. Dean is my guest. I'm here with Dean."

"And the prize for 'most use of the name Dean in a conversation' goes to…"

"This isn't a joke, Jess. You have to go before…"

"Before what?"

"Before…"

"Before the wedding starts? Before your mom misses you? Before Dean sees us?" He offered with a shrug. "Or… before you kiss me again?"

Rory's eyes instantly shifted to the grass beneath her feet.

"Rest assured, I am in no hurry to kiss you again."

"Really?" He asked, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Really." She insisted as convincingly as she could, allowing her eyes to slowly meet his again. "You shouldn't be here."

"Fine, I'll go." He sighed.

"Not just here, as in the wedding. Here, as in Stars Hollow."

"Good to see you, too." He shot back, trying to hide the ever growing hurt he was feeling.

"What did you expect? That you'd show up and I'd throw a party? Cake, balloons and musical chairs."

"You can leave out the musical chairs part…"

"We said goodbye. And… I meant it." She stated quietly.

"So why did you kiss me?" He asked.

"Because… I… Because…" She sighed in frustration. "Because I just did. Ok? I don't know why. It was a slip. It was an error. It was…"

"A kiss."

"A goodbye kiss." She insisted.

"I felt a lot of things in that kiss. Goodbye definitely wasn't one of them."

"Well… that's not my fault. Because that's what it was."

"You know what I think?"

"No. What do you think?"

"I think that you wanted to kiss me. Not a goodbye kiss but an actual kiss…"

"You're wrong…"

"We said goodbye, Rory. We said goodbye at the bus station. But then you got off of the bus and came after me. You kissed me. Now, why do you think that is?"

"Because the first goodbye wasn't a goodbye."

"Oh no?"

"No. It was a pathetic goodbye. I meant to say it a lot louder, with a lot more conviction. But it didn't come out the way I meant it to. It wasn't a goodbye. If a panel of judges had been watching that goodbye, I would have been disqualified from the goodbye for making a mockery of goodbyes!" She declared in one breath.

"So you came to find me and say goodbye with more conviction?" He frowned.

"Right."

"And the kiss…"

"Could you please let that go?"

"Nope. Not until you admit that it wasn't a goodbye kiss."

"It was!"

"You know what? I'm going to kiss you…"

"Jess…"

"I'm going to kiss you." He repeated a little louder. "I'm going to kiss you the way you kissed me. And then you can tell me exactly how much it says goodbye."

Rory opened her mouth slightly to protest, but no sound came out. Jess smiled and stepped forward.

"Jess…" Rory started quietly.

She swallowed hard as she felt his fingertips brush against the bare skin on her arms, and she found herself leaning forwards, closing the gap between their lips a lot sooner than Jess had anticipated.
He gently pulled her closer, and she didn't pull back. Both of them were aware as the replica 'goodbye' kiss started to wind down. But neither of them could pin point exactly when that kiss ended and the more eager 'welcome home' kiss took its place.

Jess felt hands against his shoulders, and a sudden push. And without any further warning, his lips were no longer against hers.

"What are you doing?!" She demanded shakily, as she tried to force some distance between them.

"Kissing you…" He replied.

"You had no right!" She insisted, backing away slowly. "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have kissed me!"

"You kissed me too!" He almost shouted out of pure frustration.

"No, I didn't!"

"Oh really? So there was no reciprocation on your part?"

"None!" She continued to argue, more concerned with convincing herself rather than him.

Jess laughed quietly. Bitterly. He shook his head slightly, just looking at her.

"You have to go now." She said quietly. "The wedding is starting and you have to go."

"Yeah. I get that a lot."

"The wedding is starting." She repeated, and hearing it the second time seemed to affect her like an alarm going off in her head. "The wedding is starting, and I have to go." She babbled, tears in her eyes.

"Rory…"

"I have to go…" She repeated to herself, turning and running away from him.

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed deeply.

If he were an idiot, he would believe her. He would convince himself it was all in his head. Her feelings for him and the feeling of her, kissing him back. Just things he wanted so badly that he had managed to make them real in his mind. But he wasn't an idiot.

Or maybe he was an idiot. Stupid for even thinking for a second that she could feel something for him. Or that she would disgrace herself by kissing him. Maybe he was an idiot for even getting on the bus back to this town, when all he'd wanted since day one was to get away from it.

He clenched his fists.

Why did she do this to him? Why was he always left to question his own mind? One minute he knew exactly what he felt, and exactly what he wanted. And then she'd come along and throw it all into chaos and then run away, leaving him to sort through the mess she'd made of his thoughts. Just trying to find one fragment of thought that made any sense!

He looked over at the wedding. He could see the guests, all seated, waiting for the main event. And for a minute he thought he could see Rory and Lorelai. But then he decided it was just his imagination.

Maybe everything was his imagination. And that's why he was always the one left standing alone, questioning his judgment. While she ran off to Dean.

* * * * *


"It was a beautiful wedding."

"Yes, it was." Lorelai smiled politely.

There was a fairly old woman standing in front of her. Lorelai wasn't entirely sure where she'd come from. She'd snuck up on her, and clasped her hands in her own, shaking ones. And now she was talking to Lorelai as if Lorelai were Sookie's mother.

"The bride looked just gorgeous." She continued.

"Oh, I know." Lorelai agreed. "And um… how do you know the bride?"

"Eh?"

"Sookie. How do you know her?"

"Sookie?" Frowned the old woman.

"The bride…" Lorelai continued, searching for any hint of recognition in the woman's eyes.

"Where?" She asked excitedly, turning around quickly to see.

"Never mind." Lorelai chuckled.

She continued smiling to herself as she made her way through the crowd of guests. They were all enjoying themselves and nothing seemed to be going wrong. The wedding had gone off without a hitch… so to speak. And the afternoon looked like it was going to be a perfect one.

The feeling of fingertips at her elbow caused Lorelai to spin around suddenly, torn from her reverie.

"You were about to miss the cake." Luke smiled, holding a plate out to Lorelai.

"Cake!" She exclaimed joyously, taking it and examining it with eager eyes. "It's just what I always wanted! How did you know?"

"You say cake, you think Lorelai." He smirked and she laughed softly.

"Awww… you even got me a bit with a little flower on it!" She gasped in awe. "It's the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"

Luke chuckled as he watched her, eyeing the cake as if it were priceless art.

"Rune thought so too." Luke leaned in and murmured to her. "That's why you have the cake and he's hog-tied in room 10."

Lorelai laughed softly again, and Luke found himself staring. To him, Lorelai was a piece of priceless art. And even better than some stunning painting hanging in a museum, she was ever changing. He never tired of looking at her.

He got the distinct feeling that she was talking to him, but he missed whatever it was she was saying.

"What?" He asked, trying hard to suppress a blush.

"Do you want to dance?" She repeated with a soft chuckle.

"Oh… uh…" This time the blush defeated him and he looked away. "I don't do the dance… thing."

"Sure you do. Everyone does the dance thing!" She persisted.

"I can't do the dance thing."

"Everyone can do the dance thing!" She smiled, putting her piece of cake down on a table and pulling him towards the dance floor. "Not everyone can do it well. But they can still try." She pleaded.

"I'll break your toes…"

"Then I'll get a wheel chair and you can push me around in it all day long." She grinned proudly.

"I'll crush the bones beyond repair. It won't be pretty!" He warned.

"I'll take my chances." She reassured him.

Luke swallowed hard as they reached the dance floor and she pulled him closer.

"We need to be within at least 10 feet of one another I think." She teased.

"We're safer this way." He insisted.

Lorelai rolled her eyes and gave up on trying to pull him towards her. Instead, she walked towards him.

"Hey now, where are you goin'?" He asked nervously, taking a step back.

"Come here!" She laughed, putting her arms around his neck. "I want a dance, and gosh darn it, I'm gonna get me one!"

He relented. He had no other choice. After a minute of standing with his arms by his sides and her arms around his neck, Lorelai grew impatient, guiding his arms around her waist before returning hers to his shoulders.

They swayed gently to the music for a while, and eventually Luke started to feel less tense.

"This is… nice." He smiled slightly.

"See? I told you!" She taunted playfully.

Luke nodded, allowing him self to relax more as they danced, flanked by the other guests. But his brief calm was broken when Lorelai's head moved slowly towards his shoulder. At least, it seemed like it was moving slowly. Luke was almost sure he was just seeing in slow motion.

Lorelai rested her chin on his shoulder, her cheek pressed lightly against his. She let out a contented sigh and Luke suddenly pushed her away.

"What's wrong?" She laughed.

"Uh…" Luke looked around quickly, trying to find a reason to excuse himself.

He found something better.

"Look…" He pointed away from the dance floor to a large tree by the pond. "Isn't that Rory?"

Lorelai frowned at him and followed his gaze to the pond. He was right, it was Rory. And she looked like she was crying.

"I'll be right back… I'm sorry…" She apologized.

"Oh, no… don't apologize." Luke reassured her. Relieved that he could finally let out the breath he felt he'd been holding in.

She walked quickly across the lawn, nodding and smiling as she passed other guests. Her pace slowed as she approached Rory.

"Babe?"

Rory didn't turn around. But her hands flew to her face and Lorelai could tell she was trying to wipe away any traces of tears.

"Hey." Rory laughed softly and then sniffed.

"Why are you crying?" Lorelai asked gently, putting a hand on Rory's shoulder.

"Oh… I dunno." Rory continued to chuckle. "It's stupid. I just started crying."

"Did something happen? Did you have a fight with Dean?" She asked gently.

"No." Rory shook her head quickly. "I didn't realize I was a wedding crier."

Lorelai was unconvinced, even through Rory was now flashing her the most persuasive smile she could.

"I just… was standing here, thinking about the wedding, and how happy Sookie looked… and how pretty." She sniffed as more tears filled her eyes. "And how happy they're gonna be. You know?"

"I know." Lorelai nodded.

"And… it's just great. How these two friends can just… realize that they are so right for each other…" The tears spilled down her cheeks. "And that they're … they're just going to be so happy. Together."

"I know." Lorelai chuckled softly as she pulled Rory into a comforting hug. "It's great. And we got to see them fall in love."

"Yeah." Rory nodded and pulled back, wiping her eyes again. "It's so great. I'm just so happy for them."

"And you're sure that's all?"

"I'm sure. Totally sure. I'm just a wedding crier. You can tease me later." Rory nodded, tucking some hair behind her ear.

"Oh, don't worry, I will."

"So… how's the reception going?" Rory asked casually, trying to change the subject.

"Good. I've been accosted by old people who don't seem to know who Sookie even is, and I've had cake…"

"Oooh, cake!"

"Yes! Luke battled Rune so I could have a piece with a flower on it."

"That was nice of him." Rory chuckled knowingly.

"Yeah. Then… Luke and I started dancing, but I came over to see you…"

"You had Luke on the dance floor? And you jeopardized it for me?"

"I love you that much, hun." Lorelai smiled, putting an arm around Rory and leading her back to the party.