Thanks everyone for the reviews and sorry about the whole thing being in one huge paragraph before… I forgot to switch it to html format in word before I put it on the site last time. J
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Alanna stifled a yawn as she kept her face a polite mask that hid the blend of fury and complete boredom seething beneath it. One of the new ladies, Lady Amelia, had come over and monopolized her monarch's attentions with lighthearted chatter for the better part of the evening, sticking by their sides the entire time even as other guests came and left to mingle with the others. Alanna felt herself bristling as this Amelia began covertly inching closer to Jonathan, making coy remarks ostensibly directed towards both of them, but in truth intended only for Jonathan.
Sensing someone nearing, Alanna glanced up and stiffened as Lady Delia came over. The queen would have welcomed almost anyone to give Jonathan a politely reasonable excuse not to talk with Lady Amelia any longer, but that invitation did not stretch as far as Lady Delia. The woman had been one of Jonathan's lovers as a young knight, before Alanna came into his life as a more intimate companion than his squire, and Alanna did not trust the woman at all. In fact, it had seemed to her that even before Delia knew she was a girl she had done her utmost to ruin Jon and "Alan's" relationship.
Delia neared and dropped a curtsy, but there was no mistaking the sarcastic contempt in her face as her eyes glided over Alanna and came to a rest on Jonathan.
"Lady Delia," Alanna said tightly when Jonathan nudged her.
"Your Majesty—s," Delia replied in a syrupy, fake voice. It was no secret that although Delia played the worshipping courtier, she scorned and despised Alanna for hiding her sex for eight years and then having the gall to marry Jonathan; she held no respect whatsoever for her queen and had boldly confided in others that she would never accept a female knight as her queen.
Alanna bit down hard on her tongue as she felt Jon's hand apply a slight pressure where it rested on her arm—it wasn't becoming for queens to display fits of temper in public, and certainly not against a gentle lady like Delia. As Delia engaged herself in Jonathan and Amelia's conversation, Alanna contented herself by envisioning the things she would do to Delia if she weren't so strictly confined by the rules of etiquette and chivalry—for Alanna was also a knight, and the Rules of Chivalry were specific in the manner in which a knight should treat a lady.
At last Alanna could stand the flirtatious ladies no longer. Pulling Jonathan up roughly, she announced,
"Jon, would you honor me with a dance? Please, excuse us, ladies."
Before the king could protest she dragged him out onto the dance floor, leaving Delia and Amelia to glower at her as they joined the swirling patterns of ladies' skirts and men's tunics flashing on the dance floor.
"When can we get out of here?" Alanna growled into Jonathan's ear as they danced.
"Alanna," Jonathan said impatiently, "We've been over this so many times! Not yet. And do try to be more polite to your subjects!"
Scowling darkly, Alanna responded by digging her fingers into Jonathan's arm a tad more tightly than the dance required, and was rewarded with a satisfying half-yelp that the king quickly disguised as a cough. He glared at her, but said nothing as she glared in return.
Finally the night was over, and Alanna practically ran back to her rooms, dragging Jonathan with her as he stubbornly held her arm in the proper escort for a noble and his wife. Once safely inside their bedroom, Alanna angrily shook him off and stormed into the next room to wash, slamming the door behind her. Jonathan watched in a mix of annoyance and amusement before shaking his head and undressing slowly.
In the washroom Alanna stared at herself in the mirror, fighting tears of rage and frustration as she thought of all the things she could be doing instead of wasting time at those damned parties. She could be killing bandits, going on quests, even just patrolling the border to keep out marauding Scanrans! Yet no, the best swordsman in the realm was spending her time at dinner parties jealously watching ladies flirt with her husband. Before she could help herself she was thinking longingly of the life she could be having if she wasn't married, if she was still a lone knight traveling lonely roads with Coram or living in the desert with the Bazhir as the revered Woman Who Rides Like a Man.
Suddenly a thought stole unbidden into her head: or she could be married to George, raising rambunctious children and spending her days laughing at her thief. Alanna quickly pushed the thought from her mind, telling herself that she would never be happy raising children and having no adventures—she ignored the nasty part of her mind that reminded her that someday she would have to give birth to an heir, and that in the meantime she still wasn't having any adventures.
Before any more such thoughts could sneak their way into her head, Alanna bathed her aching head in cool water and cleaned her teeth before re-entering the bedroom and undressing. Jonathan washed up next and then joined her in bed, and Alanna felt him tensing next to her.
"Alanna," he said hesitantly after a moment.
She didn't reply.
"Alanna," he repeated. "Can you talk to me? Tell me what's wrong?"
She sat bolt upright and turned to glower at him. "What's wrong? In general, or tonight?"
Jonathan sighed. "Whichever you want to tell me."
"All right, I'll tell you! And thank you for being so damned considerate of my feelings! Like considering how I feel while you flirt with Delia and all the other ladies, like considering how I feel using up my life sitting around in dresses and listening to courtiers chatter about nothing at all! This is exactly the life I swore I wouldn't take—why else do you think I became a knight? Do you think I spent eight years disguised as a boy just to do this?"
Jonathan blinked, taken aback. "Alanna, I…" he trailed off, reaching over to embrace her.
Furious, Alanna pulled out of his arms' reach. "Don't touch me!"
Jonathan sighed. "Fine. I'm sorry you feel like this, but we just need to talk, all right? When you calm down."
Alanna turned away and buried herself under the blankets, biting back a scream of aggravation and wrath as silent tears burned down her cheeks. He would never understand, would he? And why should he? He had spent his entire life preparing to become king, and it was no shock to him how kings had to behave—after all, his father had been king, and Jonathan had had Roald to learn from all his life. But Alanna had not been a princess, and she had not been prepared for this life that now caused her so much pain and anguish.
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I hope people like my story so far…. Please, R/R!!! and give me constructive criticisms, not just praising comments! my story cant get better if no one tells me how to improve it…
